Great Post Sukhdeep Singh Jee..
very informing and enlightening.
Bhenji I hate to be so blunt but if you expect to have a good relationship by neglecting your inlaws who are your parents then Good Luck because it wont happen.
Bhai Gurdas ji who is the key to understanding Gurbani mentions
http://www.sikhitoth...p?ShabadID=5666
and mentions
http://www.sikhitoth...p?ShabadID=6370
DO you want to be such a bride as the above shabad mentoins.
Also Bhai Gurdas Ji states
mW ipau prhir suxY vydu Bydu n jwxY kQw khwxI]
maa(n) pio parehar sunai vaedh bhaedh n jaanai kathhaa kehaanee||
Renouncing the parents, the listener of Vedas cannot understand their mystery.
mW ipau prhir krY qpu vxKMif Bulw iPrY ibbwxI]
maa(n) pio parehar karai thap vanakha(n)dd bhulaa firai bibaanee||
Repudiating the parents, meditation in the forest is similar to the wanderings at deserted places.
mW ipau prhir krY pUju dyvI dyv n syv kmwxI]
maa(n) pio parehar karai pooj dhaevee dhaev n saev kamaanee||
The service and worship to the Gods and Goddesses are useless if one has renounced his parents.
mW ipau prhir nHwvxw ATsiT qIrQ GuMmx vwxI]
maa(n) pio parehar nhaavanaa at(h)asat(h) theerathh ghu(n)man vaanee||
Without service to the parents, bath at the sixty-eight pilgrimage centres is nothing but gyrating in a whirlpool.
mW ipau prhir krY dwn byeImwn AigAwn prwxI]
maa(n) pio parehar karai dhaan baeeemaan agiaan paraanee||
The person who having deserted his parents performs charities, is corrupt and ignorant.
mW ipau prhir vrq kir mir mir jMmY Brim BulwxI]
maa(n) pio parehar varath kar mar mar ja(n)mai bharam bhulaanee||
He who repudiating the parents undertakes fasts, goes on to wander in the cycle of births and deaths.
guru prmysru swru n jwxI ]13]
gur paramaesar saar n jaanee ||13||
That man (in fact) has not understood the essence of Guru and God.(13)
There is a rehatnams by BHai Desa Singh Ji who had darshan of Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji. he mentions that anybody who disrespcts their parents will lose all godly knowledge. Without Godly knowledge there is no hope for Mukhti( liberation). By neglecting your future mother in law you are not only bringing a great burden upon yourself you will be bringing a great burden upon the man you claim you love. I have my ups and downs with my parents since we have different beliefs and customs but I think it would be unfair to neglect them since they raised me up. Its part of our lekht ( karma) for parents us to raise and care for us as children and in return we care and support them when they get older. Why would you want your mother in law to live by herself and be apart from her son. That would be depressing. I have worked with people who live by themselves and they are very unhealthy mentally, physically and spiritually. It is a Husbands duty to love his wife everyday, it a wifs duty to serve her Husband if she ever wants peace. This may just seem like traditional roles to you but in fact this is about spirituality. Guru Ji mentions man and wife are two bodies but one light for this light to merge the roles must be accepted and practiced with upmost faith.
Guru Ji mentions
ssurY pyeIAY kMq kI kMqu AgMmu AQwhu ]
sasurai paeeeai ka(n)th kee ka(n)th aga(n)m athhaahu ||
In her father-in-law's home hereafter, and in her parents' home in this world, she belongs to her Husband Lord. Her Husband is inaccessible and unfathomable.
nwnk DMnu suohwgxI jo Bwvih vyprvwh ]2]
naanak dhha(n)n suohaaganee jo bhaavehi vaeparavaah ||2||
O Nanak, she is the happy soul-bride, who is pleasing to her carefree, independent Lord. ||2||