MisterrSingh

Can anyone tell me exactly why Sikhs can't date other Sikhs? (If you are from the same religion it shouldn't be a problem). Also if we keep our Rehats during the relationship, wouldn't it help find a suitable partner in the future. Keeping the basic rules of no Adultery and kissing and all that junk. Also I'd like either Rehat Maryada or Gurbani views on this, if it even mentions it.

Would you be okay with a Singh dating your sister for a while and it not leading to marriage? You'll find your answer in your response.

Admittedly, away from Sikhi and Punjabi cultural norms, there are aspects to dating that are positive (mostly to do with discovering how the opposite gender operates in those situations, thus not being swept away and being in thrall to the only person you've "been" with, because you're a bit wiser as to navigate the minefield that is relationships), but when it comes to our lot, it's mostly lust. Concerns regarding self-realisation, etc, don't figure much in our thinking.

It is tragic that we as sikhs are falling for the same nonsense as the average people, why on Earth.

That above is a telling - and vital - indicator that what these youngsters TALK about when it comes to their beliefs is actually far removed from what's occurring in their heads and their hearts. True belief doesn't exist inside of them; the external, visual adornments are there for the world to see, but the internal is hollow and bare.

I'm beginning to believe it's all too easy for anyone to declare themselves a Sikh of the Guru based on what they say and what they look like; taking Amrit has been trivialised and devalued in recent times. Things will continue to get worse.

These are probably actors or regulars that the BBC know will have a particular point of view that forwards their agenda.

BBC plays a similar stunt on Question Night on Thursday. They would present the show in a rural conservative area and then bus in left wing agitators to present a particular point of view, whereas the local population would more often than not have the opposite point of view.

That's exactly what they do. Media corporations, news channels, etc., all have an agenda to push depending on who they're batting for. Who are they trying to fool? Yup, it's us at home. I don't buy conspiracy theories and whatnot, but these are not conspiracy theories, but actual ways and systems that modern broadcasters use to disseminate their message to the masses.

Nihal is completely aware what is going on but plays the part of devil's advocate. His job is to create controversy for ratings.

Nicky Campbell on Big Questions also very aware but tries to play dumb.

That's all it is. He wants to rile people up so that they phone in.

She then lambasted reincarnation, n sed how quran answered her questions on things like fasting n how fasting makes sense.....dear o dear.

Human nature is most comfortable with regimented ritual and order; anything linear, one dimensional and relatively transparent is easy to grasp and easier to follow. Abstract concepts that stretch beyond our initial understanding are rejected.

Funnily enough, it's why you get some Sikhs obsessing over the ritualistic aspects of the faith (there's ritual in EVERYTHING; brushing teeth is a ritual. Don't take it as a pejorative those of you who grab the wrong end of the stick more often than not) whilst overlooking the complex, non-linear and abstract parts of the Sikh faith.

For most people who follow a religion, they just want a set of instructions to follow that results in salvation.

Just wondering if something has been put into the atta for rotis. :o

Or the water...

Just wondering if the lack of testosterone plays a part. Testosterone levels have been going down in males for a number of years.

Got to be a contributing factor. The insidious and extreme feminisation (nothing to do with homosexuality, before anyone chimes in) of modern males, making them prone to offer less resistance when... things turn bad is something that also non-Sikhs are falling victim to. Guys wearing skinny jeans and being bombarded from all angles with images of the "ideal" male possessing delicate bodily frames and similarly effeminate features - whilst a spurious and possibly amusing example of this so-called feminisation - is one telling signal of how modern man is being under the cosh from angles.

Usually, it's these type of males that are so "thirsty", they'll do anything to keep a potential or a current partner happy.

A Dasvandh system might fly in the UK, but you can imagine in somewhere like the US, there'd be riots, lol. They're still struggling with universal healthcare; try to explain the concept of Vand Shakna, and they'll label you a Commie.

I've always viewed Dasvandh as a personal concept or commitment. I've never thought of it as something that could be implemented on a wider basis. Who knows, one day when we have our own state, it's something that could be implemented.

Had same issue bro. Came across these which are made from some Japanese root, they have zero carbs! Warning, they can be bland, and from my experience they work best when you go spicy with whatever you are making. Ingredients are -

Purified Water, Organic Konjac flour and Oat fibre (Juroat® flour)

For allergens, see ingredients in bold.

I used to get them when Holland & Barretts had their get one and get second for penny sales on. If you see that, jump on it and stock up on them, they have long shelf lives.

Awesome stuff, brother. I'm always up for making things spicy with ginger, chillies, etc, so that won't be an issue.

I've had a problem with carbs in non desi food since I turned 30 a couple of years back. It doesn't sit right with me at all. Even apparently okay stuff like wholewheat pasta and brown rice I can't eat too much of for some reason. Carbs in desi food, no problem, but English stuff? Nah, it congeals inside me whilst I'm eating, lol.

Thanks again.

thing is these noodles are better than white rice because they are not as heavy in carb content per cooked volume and besides if you use in a stirfry you'd have way more veg so not get the spike so much due to fibre of plant matter. It's nice to have a change sometimes , I use them in high vitamin mineral density chinese veggie soups or as an add in to a stirfry and not a lot .

Yeah, it was the carbs aspect of white rice I was concerned about. Well I'll give these rice noodles a try and see how they feel to me. My first port of call will be those eggless wholewheat noodles from Sainsburys. Those would be lovely with a stir fry.

they also do nice rice noodles and vermicelli , YUTAKA udon noodles are buckwheat and eggless too a little more compact for storage

Bhenji, what's the deal with rice noodles? I understand they're made from white rice, so do rice noodles have the same downside to them as white rice? When I do eat rice, it's brown.

Here's your noodles, till te paise dedo, do you have your own bag or would like to buy one Sir?

Now that's what I'm talking about. Nice one, bhenji, looks like I'll be making a trek to Sainsburys tomorrow.

I have my own bag (I'm not made of money) ?

Try the Quinoa and tell me about, then I'll try it lol.

Unfortunately, I'll be sticking to my normal stuff. I can't be eating Quorn, even if it is now eggless.

I was looking for some wholewheat noodles for a healthy stir fry a few days ago, and I thought I'd struck gold, but it turns out they had egg in them. Why would they do that paagalpuna? Nobody puts egg in wholewheat pasta so why do it for noodles.

Here we come Waitrose waleo

I'm getting the big trolley, lol.

Quorn now have a VEGAN range available here in Uk ...I have seen it available on Ocado.com but I'm sure if we badger local supermarkets they will start to stock it

Have they really? So that's no eggs too?

It's a bit of both IMO, when it comes to apportioning blame for who's responsible for instigating abortions back home. In some cases where the guy is top-dog and isn't the kind to be pushed around and manipulated by women, he keeps a keen eye on such developments and gets them sorted when and if they occur. In most other cases, especially where the guy is one of those carefree, overgrown children who hasn't got a clue about anything, it's definitely the mother-in-law who gets the ball rolling.

And then there's the few cases where ingrained cultural attitudes transcend gender and education - as posted by Jonny Ji above - where even professional, educated women don't baulk at terminations. For them, it's as routine as going to get a filling for a tooth. I kid you not.

Look, the only way to stop it is if we got murderously strict like certain other communities about it. That won't (and in my mind shouldn't) happen.

...

The old-school mettle that characterised our people has ebbed away over the years. It's par for the course when you have immigrant communities who've settled overseas, and successive generations take on, arguably, some of the less desirable qualities of their host country. The problem with us is that we take things too far at times. Oh well, it's impossible to police everyone, not that I'd want to.

Anyone else curious to see where this will all end? What's the end game for us in situations like these?

The anarchist in me says to let the pieces fall where they may. What can honestly be done about animal attraction?

Jkv/MisterrSingh

I think part of making of a man is allowing your son to go out and make his own karam.

He needs to go out in the big wide world and make his own mistakes. Making mistakes is also part of Maharaj's hukam as it is where one learns and grows from one's struggles.

However, it can be very difficult to let them do that.

I absolutely agree with you. There's so much truth in the above.

Without wishing to reveal too much about myself, the lessons learned through falling and then recovering from those falls are invaluable. You could have a guardian angel sitting on your shoulder for decades, telling you to do this and not do that, but until you feel the "pain" of life yourself, you'll never learn those lessons that will stand you in good stead until the end of life.

The question would be can mother teach a boy to become a man?

Does a mother manipulate her status to her son to meet her feminine imperative?

Can a mother be a detriment for her son to reach his full potential as a man?

Awesome questions, and I'm pleased someone on here is thinking along these lines.

Speaking purely from my perspective, having been raised by a single mother (my old man passed away when I was a child; he wasn't old at all, hehe), my mother's Gursikhi helped her in many, many respects. She's actually more of a Singh than any Singh I've ever met in my life. Her psyche consists of what one would consider inherently positive masculine qualities (not prone to gossip; a mind that grasps the bigger picture instead of fixating on small, inconseqential trivialities; encouraging self-sufficiency and mental strength without losing one's compassion, etc), so in that respect I've been very fortunate.

In short, it is absolutely possible for a woman to raise a "man". She just needs to have the various tools at her disposal to achieve that feat. For my mum, those tools came through her Sikhi. That's one of the primary reasons i advocate the universal aspects of Sikhi (as opposed to the Punjabiyat way of viewing existence) because I've seen Sikhi at work in my life for decades, and it's the real deal. Not just lip service, dekhava, or dressing up and lauding it over others, but genuine living and breathing it, come rain or shine.

I'm more concerned about men who are NOT men in front of their wives and households where the Bibian make decisions on behalf of the man, he instead cowers into the shadows and has no balls to stand up for his convictions. Many a time in my life I have seen this cause untold splits in families.

Unfortunately, people who are against a Sikh man standing up to his lady wife also seem to believe that a man being firm entails him smacking her around or repressing her existence, emotionally or otherwise. It's like they can't fathom the idea that a man can be strong and forthright without being a boorish tyrant who throws his weight around in ways that don't result in physical violence. You'll find that kind of pre-emptive "scare tactics" used particularly in the West on males in the Sikh diaspora is why many males are afraid of speaking up against their women.

In a way, it's the responsibility of the father to give his son the necessary tools to navigate married life. If the father himself is subdued by his missus, the son has no chance, unless he's particularly bright and realises that he won't be doing things that way. I use to think this was a strictly overseas phenomena (Sikh male unable to put his missus right), but I'm hearing there's considerably similar things going on back home as well. That's quite surprising, to me at least.

Balance is essential. As a guy, if you can't take care of yourself (basic survival skills within the context of our first world existence) and generally are unable to keep an eye on the finer details of your life, then you're basically a man-child.

Of course, you'll get devious individuals using this "mama's boy" accusation to spur weak men into neglecting their duties towards their elders, usually by wives who want to turf their husband's parents into an old people's home when they need care, lmao. But God forbid her brother's wife should suggest the same for her own parents! Unsurprisingly, the irony of the situation and the double standards are entirely lost on her.

In summary, be self-sufficient; don't wait for someone to come along and do stuff for you. It's embarrassing and not becoming of a Sikh to be helpless or lazy. Equally, don't allow devious individuals to label you in ways that guilt you into neglecting your responsibilities.