kcmidlands
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Posts posted by kcmidlands
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On 4/24/2019 at 3:53 AM, LifeIsBeautiful said:
My wife won't do any housework, she does'nt work. She doesn't respect my parents or grandparents. My parents were like, she will change, her parents aren't any help. She has been a cheraal ever since she got to Canada. I honestly put two hands folded to anyone, dont ever find someone in india, be single, dont make the mistake I did. I am from a wealthy family, if I could I would have been able to get married. I dont' drink, smoke, I have good values.
I have 1 child on the way, my wife has threatened to leave me several times, I sometimes smile and ask to God, why I was chosen with this person. I have kept praying to God, never losing faith, but feel saddened why I can't leave her. There's days where I have thought of going mental, because I am living in this hell.The only reason I wont' leave her is I did lavan infront of Guru Granth Sahiab. I know for some, it's a just a play, but I took it very seriously.
Is there any [articular reason you decided to get married in India, it's been discussed countless times on this forum, especially about the cultural differences with Punjabi's in India and those of use that are born and bred in other countries, did you try and find a wife from the same country that your from.
The only way you'll find resolution is communication, at some point she'll have to hear what your saying, how you communicate is up to you, you will need her parent's to listen to you as well, if they don't listen directly then i'd suggest getting an older family member to do the talking, the last hing any parent wan't (especially in India) is their married daughter being dropped off back in the pind because the marriage did't work.
If you want to take the route of making threats, telling her you'll cancel her visa, you'll get married again and god know's what else has been mention then that's up to you fella, in my experience things like that will tend to cause more harm than good.
On a side note, i'd love to know how many people who give marital advice here are actually married and understand exactly how much hard work goes into a marriage to make it work, I've been married for over 16 years and we still argue, bicker and fight, it's human nature but we always find a resolution and more importantly know what our boundaries are, we've been through the "making threats" phase, it doesn't work, trust me.
It's commendably that you take your laavan seriously, your right, for some people it is just done for show.
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12 minutes ago, BhForce said:
Well, that's because of a sedentary lifestyle. That's why Brahmins only drink cow milk. They never do any hard labor.
Regarding plastic bags: what should it come in? That's the same thing it comes in Canada.
I'm in the UK, we're used to plastic bottles.
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1 minute ago, BhForce said:
Right, that, too.
If you're not physically strong and active, you might want to avoid traditional buffalo milk, which can be around 7% fat. Go for cow's milk (what Brahmins drink).
Skim milk can be bought in grocery stores.
I always found it strange that the milk come's in plastic bags, i was okay with Buffalo milk when i was young, as I've gotten older and used to cow's milk in the west i get issues when i have buffalo milk in India know, i think that goes for most food in India, out bodies become accustomed to a western diet and we have trouble digesting food in India.
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14 hours ago, Guest hello_ji said:
I have not gone to punjab before ( born abroad), but I have heard you have to be very careful what you eat and drink in punjab since your body is not used to the bacteria in Punjab. I have heard people go, and get sick there , and I don't want to get sick. So I mean what do you ? Like the enviroment is different in each city/ district. What about amritsar area ?
Thanks
As well as whats already been said i think it depends on how tough your stomach is, some people can eat and drink anything and they'll be fine, other's will get the run's at the drop of a hat. I was also cautious of dairy, we would get cow's milk as opposed to buffalo and avoid ice cream (no easy thing).
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3 hours ago, Christiangirl52 said:
I wonder what is your opinion when westerners take up Sikhi. Akexandra Aitken is such a high profile case in point. From everything i have ever read she is an extraordinary young lady who has found the peace and meaning she needs. This cannot have been easy for her to change her so completely.
I take it we're talking about this Alexandra Aitken.
There's a thread about her on this forum somewhere.
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10 minutes ago, puzzled said:
Yeah most people don't believe these stories, I don't blame them a few years back if someone narrated a ghost story to me I wouldn't of believed them.
Yeah Gurbani doesn't deny the existence of ghosts. There is no end to God creation.
I think there are several worlds within this world like many dimensions. People who do black magic get assistance from these spirits from other dimensions. Gurbani says there are worlds upon worlds
Have you heard the Suleiman ghost recording?
I thinks it's about good and bad energy, if you have a lot of arguments, are always negative, you will attract bad energy and all the baggage that carries, call them spirits, ghosts or whatever.
Another theory is we may be seeing echoes of other people living on the same plane but slightly ahead or behind in dimensional time, a Muslim friend of mine described Jinn like that, they live peacefully among us but we rarely see them because they are in another time dimension, food for thought.
I have heard the Suleiman recording, the first time i heard it i was at a friends house up in Sheffield, his granddad played it for us pretty late at night and explained it to us, only problem was i had to drive back home in the middle of the night back south, i was bricking it all the way home. I've heard it many times since, no reason to believe it was false.
I've got no idea why the op want's to beat up a ghost though, maybe it's on his bucket list.
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11 hours ago, puzzled said:
i work in a crazy place, its like a mad house. i don't blame you if you think im bull sh1tting lol
I don't think that, i've seen plenty in my life to know something else is out there, but lately I've looked for answers in gurbani and even though i don't understand it all, it does explain a lot of it.
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On 4/5/2019 at 5:39 PM, puzzled said:
There's a ghost at my work in the basement. It don't say anything though , the pakis call it a jin. Though some people have had really bad experiences in the basement like one guy felt a lot of weight pushing down on his shoulders!
The worst I experienced there was a big bang! Which spooked me out for several weeks lol
Its apparently a male.
There's ghosts everywhere I think they live in their own dimension, don't think they are supposed to cross over Nd have contact with us. I think there are several worlds within this world, like layers.
Where the hell do you work man, in the Tower of London or something.
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14 hours ago, puzzled said:
I wonder if white people made a human zoos with Indians?
They did have one, it was between 1858 and 1947.
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33 minutes ago, puzzled said:
When I started secondary school in year 7 which was predominately Pakistani, I learnt so many sexual words in Punjabi which I had no idea what they meant! I was a 10 year old and I would come home and ask my parents what the "p" word in Punjabi means describing women private parts and my mum would say it's a rude word and not to say it. In fact none of the Punjabi kids knew what these words were, but all these paki kids who were only 10/11 years old knew what all these sexual Punjabi words meant! Clearly their mums and dads openly use these words at home that's how 10 and 11 year olds knew what these words meant.
Its their culture
This Kashmiri paki girl at school told me that her dad loves listening to a paki song called "nach k@njri" and that he watches mujra. She found it perfectly normal and funny
That's just how they are raised
Our neighbours when i was young used to be Muslim, the ones next door were from India (Gujrat) and were the nicest people and were polite, the ones opposite were Pakistani, there's nothing the waking up in the morning and hearing the father in that house stand outside and call his kids every *****chod word under the sun and his kids would reply in kind, the folks weren't best pleased when we used to ask them what they meant though, yeah, it is their culture, amongst other things.
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1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:
Who's actually surprised at this?
This is the unfortunate thing, most people I've spoken to about this (and this includes myself) aren't surprised that it happened and that's something that is more concerning than anything else
1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:Wanting to watch the video to observe the tactics of such people and maybe think of possible ways to survive or take them down is smart.
What tactics, he walked into a mosque and started indiscriminately shooting at everyone, end of, he had no formal training, nothing, when your sat on the outside it's easy to say "we could do this or that" but when the majority of us are put in that situation, half of your body will go into shock because it can't process what's going on.
Now what will happen is some crazy Jihadi type will strap bombs on themselves and try and kill as many people as they can as vengeance for what happened, and rinse and repeat.
1 hour ago, MisterrSingh said:Something I've noticed since the attack and the succeeding discussion from a Muslim viewpoint: there's a very vague hint of surprise and dare I say an element of fear that, as some Muslims see it, there are some whites who are capable of carrying out what occurred in NZ. I never thought I'd see the likes of Majid Nawaaz shaken to the extent that they're almost blaming Friday's atrocity not solely on Far-Right hate but attributing it to the arrogance and uncompromising attitudes of predominantly Leftist whites who take it upon themselves to be the "saviours" of brown people in related discussions, thus strengthening the Far-Right narrative of white disenfranchisement that gives rise to the kind of actions we saw on Friday. Interesting development.
Your not the only one who's noticed this.
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13 hours ago, Big_Tera said:
It maybe helpful. Ie if someone tried to do this in future. We could look at way we could have intervened and stopped the guy from doing what he did.
What are you going to learn from watching a video of a deranged white supremacist killing a load of innocent people, some of who were children, please enlighten us all, the guy had no criminal record and kept under the radar. At the end of it all, 50 people are dead, that's what people need to focus on, not wanting to watch a video of them being killed.
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1 hour ago, Big_Tera said:
That is a very subjective statement. Maybe you found his music and performance amazing. But millions around the world did not like it. I for one never listened to any of his music.
Never been a mj fan. even if he did not do these crimes or not which I believe he did. Did not like him or his performance. But each to their own. If you liked it good for you. I know he was big in the midlands and many down there could do the moon walk before they learnt to do a normal walk. lol
I could even as imagine you as a kid kcmidlands,, moon walking to school, wearing makeup to make yourself look lighter and giggling like a little girl every time someone mentioned jackson name.
I'm not a fan of his, saw him in concert and I don't think a single artist has come close to him when it comes to performance, personal view.
Never did try to moonwalk, maybe it was a thing they did down and around London.
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As a performer the guy was amazing, to this day no one can put on a show the way he did but he's been elevated to such a high level that the idea of him doing anything wrong is something no one can bear to hear about. The documentary was one-sided so you have to bear that in mind when you watch it but when you have guys like Louis Theroux saying he was probably a pedophile then you listen because he calls it out the way it is, a grown man sleeping with young kids, Nah mate, that's got wrong written all over it.
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10 hours ago, Big_Tera said:
True, new generation cant seem to handle married life.
It's different now though, whereas before a couple, even if they had marital problems, would stay married for the sake of the wider family and izzat, today couples seem to cry foul at the smallest of arguments or problems.
I've been married for over 17 years, there's been plenty of arguments, problems, and god knows what else, there have been point's in my marriage where I have considered separation because the arguments where so bad (and we have young children so that makes it even worse), but throughout it all I've tried to sort out problems and make things work. Marriages are hard work, don't let anyone tell you differently and to add to that we have one of the worst communities out there who clap and cheer when you fail and commiserate you when you win.
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18 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:
Just have to watch Harjap Bhangal's immigration show. That is a real eye opener
I know Harjap personally, some of the stuff he's told me makes me ashamed to be Punjabi, the kind of stuff your embarrassed to tell even your mates it's that bad.
I know guys who have gotten married in India, it's a mixed bag, some of them are still married, one or two divorced, the common theme with them is that they got married thinking they are marrying a Punjabi girl but it was a different type of Punjabi girl, culturally we are different to people in Punjab, our "Soch" and "Vichar" as the elders say is different, In the same way we have an assumption the girls or guys from punjab are traditional because thats the impression the Tv/Cinema gives us they are the same, and when reality sets in both parties get a shock.
Whats happening in Punjab (and India in general) is what happens if you repress a society to much and all of a sudden they discover there's more too life than being bought up to be a good housewife or a hard working husband.
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10 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:
They never went back though did they.
After 50+ years, nobody ever did.
No they didn't, but they always lived with the fear of it, I think that's the point i'm trying to make, the Government, while right in what they are doing, are on very thin ice, look at what they did with the Windrush generation.
10 hours ago, Premi5 said:I think only if you have dual citizenship
Your right, but i wouldn't trust the UK government as far as i could throw them.
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11 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:
Yes, it's a worrying precedent. For now they've used this law for a reason to which most are in agreement, but governments abuse their power, and I can foresee moments when the threat of revoking citizenship in less contentious instances might become a reality.
I remember when my grandparents used to keep a packed suitcase on top of the cupboard, when i used to ask them why, they would say, roughly translated "we don't know when the white folk might kick us out, it's their country after all", not saying it will happen, but i don't think our grand parents were stupid, they travelled all the way from India and set up in a foreign country, maybe they knew something we don't.
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6 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:
Some common sense from the government at long last! Shamima Begum stripped of her British citizenship.
Now Britain needs to keep those other rapist-jihadis from coming back here (why ain't they being given the shaheedi they so desire in Syria?). Like we don't have enough to deal with with the ones that are already sneaking around here.
Can't say i completely disagree with what's happened to her, she came across with no remorse and a privileged attitude (something which is far too common amongst the younger "snowflake" generation, example, we've messed up but you have to forgive us, is doesn't matter how bad we've messed up) but something interesting came up on my twitter feed last night, if they can do this to her (she was stripped of her nationality based on her ability to claim the original nationality of her parents) there is a chance the government can do it to anyone of use brown folk for any reason they like, makes for interesting though.
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On 2/17/2019 at 10:42 PM, californiasardar1 said:
If he cares so much about the Sikh religion and Sikh community, why does he opt to look like a Hindu/Muslim/Christian/Atheist/Whatever rather than look like a Sikh? He would literally have to do NOTHING. How much can he possible care if he can't even do something that simply requires doing NOTHING? (Letting your kesh grow out requires zero work. On the other hand, removing kesh requires work.)
He is a pathetic coward.
People like him make me sick, and the fact that there are so many like him illustrates why today's Sikh community is so pathetic.
Did it ever occur to you and anyone else with this mindset that maybe the person in question just isn't ready to commit fully to Sikhi and he's showing his love for it by doing what he's doing.
Your professing your love of Sikhi by tearing down others and judging them because they don't meet your idea or exacting standard of what you think Sikhi means.
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Amazing photo's, i remember my Grandfather telling me when i was younger (and he was still around) that most of the old architecture has either all but gone or been whitewashed in India, if you want to see building's like this then there a a fair amount in Pakistan, it's a shame that more's not done to preserve them in he original state.
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On 1/18/2019 at 6:42 PM, GuestKaur2 said:
Looks their starting their own TV show on Disney channel lol
I had to google it, it looks amazing....
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On 1/21/2019 at 8:33 PM, Wicked Warrior said:
I think it depends on your relationship with your inlaws and only you can determine that.
My bhua lost her husband at a youngish age. They’d had two kids by that point. The in-laws blamed my bhua for their son’s death and cut off family ties quickly. Her father-in-law told her father that there’s no longer a relationship between the two families. She now has zero contact with them. The kids too have no contact.
What do you plan to do? Are you likely to remarry? If so, that will alter the dynamic.
I want to say i find this hard to believe but I've seen this kind first hand and it's absolutely disgusting. In a situation where there are no kids i can just about understand (not that i agree), but cutting off ties with your grand kids because your son has passed on shows what people's mentality is, in cases I've seen (on in particular) the grandparents turned up 20 years wanting a relationship with their grandson (the situation was pretty similar to the one described above), suffice to say, it didn't end well, point being, we do things out of anger, jealousy, ego or whatever but don't realize the long term consequences.
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1 hour ago, JSinghnz said:
An apology now will for something done 100 years ago will not make the pommies liable to pay anything to anyone. Canada has the moral strength to apologise and hence is a much stronger nation than England.
It took Canada nearly 100 years to apologise and even then it was a fairly Liberal Prime Minister ans party, every country has their own demons, it's just that in this case England has more than most.
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Depression from Horrible Arranged Marraige
in GUPT FORUM
Posted
It's understandable that you wanted to be closer to your roots fella but sometimes out roots are right in front of us, i'm not say you would have found the perfect bride from the country you were born and bred in, but at least there wouldn't have been a cultural divide, when getting married our religion is important but if the two people are culturally different then you are asking of heartache.
I'm glad you have found some salvation and escape in Gurbani but at some point your going to have to face the problems in your marriage.
Whatever you do fella, good luck with it and keep your head up.