ipledgeblue

As long as you are not being forced into getting married quickly, then just say you need to think about it, and don't want to get married yet or want to go uk first. don;t get forced!!!

2 hours ago, BhForce said:

 

It's one thing for a handful of people in a society to have multiple wives (like the leader or the Raja, or a few others). It's quite another for 50% of males to have 2 wives. That would obviously mean the other 50% will have no wife. 

Not a good situation.

no not 50%. It was never 50% sikh males or 50% Singhs that had multiple wives. I was mostly either sikhs that were Rajas/Maharajas, or warrior shastard-dhari rehiti sikhs. Even during dharmi fauji activities, it wasn't 50% sikhs or 50% Singhs taking part even then.

It should only really be those who can pass good values through the panth, raise those who can spread positive thinking in the panth. For example, only those who can pass bravery to their sikh children, and also gurmat. So during crisis, those offspring Singhs and Singhnis can also cause ths spirit to awaken in other sikhs. Or they can spead positive message towards keeping kesh and gurmatt lifestyle, and against doing kurehit like kesh beadbi and tobaccoo/shisha/hookah etc.

9 hours ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

But of course ancient culture should be followed.. and our biology and our natural instincts which women do have different then men. But most ancient cultures exalted monogamy and studies show that children do better in household with both mom and dad. And married couples are happier when elderly.

So yes monagamy is better for men and women. 

About that 80% statistic. It could be due to war, famine, invading hordes, rape. Also most invading ppl would kill all the men 15 years and older. And keep the women. Cant that explain the 80% rule?

 As the invaders were the 20% who  controled 80% of the women. In a famine, more females are born then men. As females can defininately reproduce but men are a risk from natures pov.In war most young men die leaving behind many women. This statistic only had to skew once. Then cant be rectified. So maybe it changed after Mahabharat. Or Fall of Troy? Or black death? As women safer at home men getting sicker? Or maybe in the past each generation, more and more men weeded out due to wars and famine?

6 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

I do not disagree with your points that monogamy is best. Our ancient cultures understood very well what worked to maintain a functioning society. 

 

Monogamy is good for grihast jeevan. But for wartime it is not good. Polygamy is required so more Singhs are born, and then these Singhs gave shaheedi during the wars, such as 4 Sahibazadey and Bhai Mani Singh's sons from both his wives.

This just wouldn't work for the small monogamous units that we have now. Monogamy has put the dharmi-fauji families in dire circumstances as there are no sons left to look after some of these families! Some of  them are in poverty! We need to follow rehit more closely, and sometimes monogamy is not compatible. The families that are going to supply real gursikh Singhs to the panth shouldn't be monogamous. And the ones that are going to supply negative people that bring down the panth, perhaps they should not marry at all. Let them go in their destructive path and spend the rest of their lives in girlfriend-boyfriend mentality. They will not be able to maintain real grihast until they have a mentality change.

3 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

the polygamy was more about social status and showing off their wealth by buying more brides/ acquiring kingdoms by acquiring wives from kingdoms wanted (kind of like a bizarre monopoly game) or protecting the clan wealth by giving away girls to threateners e.g. Rajputs/Marathas . Women being considered Chattels allows this to happen but Guru Sahiban shut down this mentality by stating that Sikhs should neither buy nor sell their children i.e. no daaj to sweeten the deal and no accepting of bride prices i.e. a second way of shutting down giving Sikh women to Muslims/Hindus.

 

Maybe you are going to freak but there are areas in India and abroad where polyandry is the ideal model... but I guess that would turn your theories on their head  and make you squirm .

Yes, like the pihari/hill people where the wife is shared between brothers, it is the way they seem to settle the lack of wealth due to the lack of land. And remember,  even Panchali Draupadi practiced polyandry with the Pandav warrior brothers.

.... The other thing is I cannot understand how current modern society can be pro-monogamy. The amount of ex-partner people have through girlfriend-boyfriend pre-marital partnership as well as through divorces shows an acute amount of hypocrisy/pakhand from these people, on how they are against polygamous marriage.

16 hours ago, monatosingh said:

Does kirpan count as shastar (at the time)

I think kripaan only counts when it's required for law of the land or circumstances, and not really in places where you're allowed to carry more usable shastar such as guns in states or wearing shastar in India.

16 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

just mentioned it for those who claim that they want to be authentic and Guru Pita ji's hukam... never claimed it was bujjar kurehit but if we understand halal is wrong then so is kosher because it is identical in nature .

Yeah I would say something similar about Kosher. Do they use a direction as well?

since Guru says a sikh should not present themselves without kesh and shastar, does that make most sikhs fake including many amrit dharis?

21 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

The real question is will I have to pesh again? 

No, Guru ji's fauj doesn't care. only amrit dharis from jathas and baba deras will want you to do pesh. Become sanmukh towards Guru and gurmat and leave these sects behind please, for the good of your sanity, dharma and sikhi!

15 hours ago, MrDoaba said:

As long as it's not halal it's fine.

4 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

khulla maas is not halal and also not allowed ....be clear

3 hours ago, monatosingh said:

Well SRM states just Halal meat (or better if ritualistic meat) is not allowed so I am leaving it at that.

I rest my case.

khulla mass is not banned and is not a kurehit. Just like if someone casually exposed their uncut hair without turban, that isn't kurehit either but shouldn't really be done.

Like we discussed, sarblohi Singh would be proper strict about not eating khulla maas. jhatka and shikar is important rehit, and khulla maas shouldn't be done in most circumstances, but it's not exactly a pesh thing is it? Not like the OP getting worried about egg, and not even eating egg but just having food go close to lines that handle eggs. It's just too bad that SRM is so limited that it doesn't explain past just not eating Kuttha/Halal, and not into rehits and rehitnamas explaining hunting and jhatka according to gurmat etc...

21 hours ago, TaksalDaSingh9771 said:

Does that mean OP can do a sehaj path of sri dasam granth sahib ji?

He can try....

Might find it difficult though.

I would try and get used to reading Jaap Sahib, full Chaupai and also as part of Sampooran Rehras and then full Aarti Aarta as a start, and then Chandi Vaar, Uggardanti, Shastarnaamala part 1 to get used to the language.

On 2/15/2018 at 8:25 PM, jkvlondon said:

my nanake are malwai , and as far as I can see there is deep, gentle sharda in people's hearts but due to kalyugi problems people are leaving to protect their grandchildren's sikhi from bad influences as it is easier to be a pooran gursikh in the west than in India .

I don't totally believe this. Yes leave the bad influences but most shastardhari rehit is still kept in India, and you will see the pooran gursikhs get together in Anandpur Sahib on Vaisakhi and Hola Mohalla.

Yes you can see them trying hard here in the west, and there are those who have kept full bana even with some shastars, but still something is missing from being all-rounder pooran gursikh compared to the ladliyaa faujan in India.

12 hours ago, Guest Jagsaw_Singh said:

That comment makes zero sense ipledgeblue. Generally, the stay at home mums fall into these 2 brackets, neither of which contribute anything to society: Chav council flat single mums and Pakistanis. Our Sikh society and diaspora, on the other hand, is built with a hard work ethic at it's core. A foundation of which is that the females work as hard if not even harder than the men. This part of psyche has been part of our DNA since ancient times as Alexander the Great noted in his letter to his mum as he sat in a field in Punjab. He'd seen it all but when he reached Punjab, he stated to his mother, he saw for the first time how in this land the women worked as hard as the men. So....going back to your point let me ask you this: When it is the white chav female's culture to stay at home and not work and the brown Sikh females 2000 year old culture to work, work and work.......How is it that you can call the one that works a 'coconut' ????????????

I didn't talk about staying at home. I am talking about those women who are out on long shifts/commutes while their offspring are getting drunk,groomed, doing shisha/hookah/smoking or some other wrong society.

Are they teaching them sikhi and dharmik values, naam bhagti? Or are they just tired out and also just teaching kids to just go towards money and forget about sikhi, dharam and kesh identity?

There's a big difference between kirat kamai and lobh/greed!!!

1 minute ago, jkvlondon said:

second hand nutrients plus all the pollutants and diseases of the bird ... people get a lot of inflammation too after eating , and we know inflammation is bad for the body generally. I suppose if in a squeeze for choice it could be a good alternative to remaining hungry in proper context . Plus the karmic weight of propagating the inhumane industry has to be factored in too.

just added more to my post have a read  

4 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

ok why would you want to eat the waste product of a chicken's menses?

Why do so many people eat it, what about the properties and nutrition in said product?  Remember we also eat seeds, nuts and lentils which also grow into organisms, all the nutritional values are compacted in these.

Some vegans shall argue about  why do we drink milk from cows? 

Actually why do we even donate and use non-organic Pasteurised Milk in gurdwaras? The way cows for non-organic milk are treated is horrible. And pasteurised milk is also dead milk and very bad compared to proper raw milk, and also is causing asthama/eczema/hayfever in children/people in western countries. People use their babay/jatha rehats to argue about eggs and meat but overlook the way the milk donated to langar is made.  Many subtleties are overlooked, using diabetes causing sugar instead of healthier alternatives used during puraatan times is another example. This is the lack of buddhi/intelligence that is bringing us down.

I wonder if there are so-called sarbloh bibeckis that use non-organic pasteurised milk and refined sugar, then it really does become pakhand.

I saw the title of this thread and I thought I would have to talk about how one could be too tall to be a Singh in the Khalsa armies.

Anyway, you should see how the prospective partner will live a family life and what sanskar and values she can pass on to your children. How much she knows about sikhi, how dharmik she is etc.

Just don't let he slip into obesity, she could have health problems when she has children. She might be struggling to maintain weight at the moment due to work commitements. Is she working too faraway such as long and tiring commute into London. People who work these long hours with long commutes become messed up mentally and spiritually, and also get sucked into money making and no time for children (not that this matters much for utter coconuts anyway)

2 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

 

Society seems to be regressing back to the pre-marital age  (like back to hunter gather type society).

 

however Guru's rehit combines both hunter-gather mentality with grihast. Khalsa is also supposed to have this instinct as well, but secterian rehats are making us lose this.

1 hour ago, Damdamitaksaal84 said:

Yes mainly it is but now females judge who they want to get married by looking at what jathebandi they are from I have seen this happen a lot but it is mainly males Who complain about jathebandi which they shouldn't we should recognize everyone as one not what jathebandi they follow or caste.

if we recognize everyone as one will everyone be ready to follow shastar rehit and other rehitnamas that are not watered down by jathebandis?

caste shouldn't matter and if you're in shouni or dal then everyone is following same rehit.  But when people live in houses and pinds and mingling with non-amritdhari relatives then they are usually following watered down rehit or following some aspects of family culture as they have to live inside civilisation.

33 minutes ago, monatosingh said:

Can bibeki Singhs eat egg then? You said it interferes with Jatha Rehit and not the other rehat you stated.

You will have to ask them. I think baba Surjit Singh may have been Sarbloh Bibecki. But I know proper sarblohi Singhs' rehit will have some foods objectionable to this forum as they would use shastar to obtain such food, and I don't mean using a gandasa or farming tools! Jatha Sarbloh Bibeck is not exactly same as the proper Sarbloh bibeck who are shastardhari as well. Also they don't even eat from their wives.

It seems Sarbloh Bibek can be found in Sarbloh Granth.

This is from here http://www.babasurjeetsingh.com/tag/buddha-dal/  - but the site doesn't seem to load anymore, this is all I could get from this site in Google:

28 Sep 2014 - Jathedar Baba Surjit Singh ji was the 14^th Jathedar or commander of the Buddha Dal, the central organization of the Nihang Singhs. .... In this Dal was the strictest of bibek or physical cleanliness, which meant all food must be cooked in fire wood, in sarbloh (iron utensils), all water must be from a well or ...

just found more stuff, this is from quoted books but the site I got it from has been around a long time now (and it's one of the sites still standing instead of all the sites that have gone down, such information lost that is needed so badly by panth!!!) and the website name is blocked from jatha affiliated and hinduphobic sites:

1 hour ago, jkvlondon said:

how about digging up info in full the nature of the 'royal' families and current politicos who call themselves sikh and their true colours for instance maharaja of Patiala took 15,000 men and joined forces with British against Sikh Army , his son was a drunkard, smoker and womaniserand grandson well you can see that mess

 

yes we need to, Maharaja Bhupinder Singh what a mess! Taking women from villages and hills etc. Big tiddy as well. Corruption comes all the way to current Patiala Maharaja "Captain" Congress Chief Minister.

And all the firanghi propaganda that seeped down from these kingdoms as well as to main punjab through christian missionary schools. The rest of the colonial jatha stuff we can't post on this forum, please look on alternate boards  Past admins could ban you for writing against believing in firanghi god, even in private messages!

doing paath and simran, let parmatma jyot manifest in yourself. Increase your level of intellect and buddhi with bani.

Help deal with conflict by also reading dasam bani. Get confidence by doing nitnem with full Chaupai including Akal Ustat Chaupai and Punn Rachas, Chandi Di Vaar, Chandi Charitar Ustat, Uggardanti, Shastarnamala part 1 and anything else.

Do shastarvidiya, also follow rehit of tyrar bar tyaar Singhs and not of these jathas. Don't be submissive sikh, need confidence to deal a bit

Some of the language is different in Sri Guru Dasam Granth. But some banis will have similar styles.

On 2/15/2018 at 8:20 AM, Guest Arsh said:

Sat Shri Akal...

I am girl coming from Sandhu family of Bathinda ,Punjab. I have been in relationship with a guy from lubana community (surname-ghotra) for last 7 years. Now as we decided to get married my parents stood up that this can’t happen. We are jatt and can’t marry BC. Lot of horrible stuff going on, they say I have lost it. I am ruining there image and what will relatives say and that nobody in our families married this way. Situation is that I have to choose one. Very difficult choice to make. The boy is well educated,settled and comes from decent family of Gurdaspur. 

I don’t understand how to make my family understand. Can someone explain me who are lubanas and are they very different from jatts. ?

Thanks and regards

you are both ruining your families doing this "dating" stuff.  everyone will know you were ghumdeh firdeh with each other in this anti-grihast behaviour, especially when you get married.

8 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

On some bars etc the ingredients are normally with out any egg but at the bottom theres this line that says "manufacturered in facility also containing egg" I came across this after eating the bar and was tensed about this matter. Please help

you should not be stressed as it only interferes with jatha rehit. Real sarbloh bibecki Singhs don't eat manufactured stuff, khulaa mass and not even tap water - they always wear bana with dumalla, carry shastars not just kripaans, riding horses, carry nishaan sahib and read many Guru Gobind Singh's banis for nitnem. 

Please follow proper Guru rehit and look at rehitnama, following babay and jathebandis does not respect Guru's rehit!

13 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

everyone's pretty clear on the reasons why ...they've been instructed to take the kufir's women and make them into muslimah's and to remove kufirs from the world ...a trait we know since the very first birth pangs of Sikhi.

 

Yeah, they just use the excuse that they are allowed to take women slaves during war/jihad. But the jokes on everyone else, war/jihad can be declared whenever they want, even covertly.

He likes a girl? Declare jihad on them then take the girl as a slave/concubine, just change the label to girlfriend or wife and she is clueless!

1 hour ago, S4NGH said:

Maybe post the odd anti-hindu post too... Yano just to mix things up a little...

how about posting anti-firanghi stuff? They did mess sikhi up a lot during angrej raaj did they not?

On 2/18/2018 at 12:45 AM, jkvlondon said:

in the 1960s it allowed married men to have that fling without the consequences , a la 'mad men ' ...

err  the pill was stigmatised from its inception that it was a bad girl's tool  as good married women why did they need to worry about being pregnancy yaddayadda yadda, it took at least until the eighties to lose that infamy . White folks can be judgey too.

the whole argument that women only have sex because they like it eliminates those who are forced, or told not to is against the whole obedience principle of Abrahamic faiths i.e. you have to obey your husband/you cannot say no....even Hindus have that kind of attitude 

that's why women in Pakistan/Afghanistan/catholics  have to be sly and take a norplant implantable control to prevent unwanted pregnancies and children they can't afford . The men will never agree as Allah/God will provide.

Not saying there aren't women who cheat but they lose much more than guys even these days ...they lose all respect of their peers , the women think of her as a loose cannon/maneater.threat , the men think she's easy/fodder/expendable.

I have three sons and I refuse to let them become new style wimps , I warn them of how women manipulate  and give them the inside edge so they don't get into a mess with headcases.- after all isn't that what a good parent does . No I don't see men as wholly different from me they are humans who on the whole have similar needs and wants , I don't go for the mind games they play also like the fake incompetence when it comes to domestic stuff  just as I don't let myself have excuses for not learning to do jobs such as fixing stuff, building furniture , decorating etc . I was not born with diy skills just as I was not born with dressmaking homemaking skills they all acquired with effort and time same him.

 

WE need to be made aware by reading charitropakhyan !

"Mata ji returned to Anandpur Sahib saying these words, and Guru Gobind Singh ji went into Samadhi for some time. Guru ji has just finished 324th Charittar. Suddenly Maharaj opened his eyes and asked Likhari Singh to be Saavdhaan. Suddenly Maharaj stopped, and asked Likhari Singh to Jump to Charittar 326. Maharaj finished remaining Charittars and after writing 404 Charittar, in the end counted 405 charittars.

Likhari Singh, Bhai Darbari asked,’’ Maharaj,We have written just 404 Charittasr, why have you counted 405 Charittars in the End? And where is 325th Charittar?’’

Guru Gobind Singh ji Maharaj smiled and said Sikha, ‘’ When Mataji left, I decided to write charittar of Maha Maaya, Sri Maya Lachmi ji, the creative power of Waheguru which creates, preserves and destroys the universe. But Maharaj Akaal purakh stopped me from doing so, as when the Charittar would have been written, Maha-Maaya would have been overcome and finished. Earth, Moon, Sun, Stars, this Universe would have collapsed and there would have been Parlay (doomsday). No one has been able to imagine or explain the vastness of Maya, but I wished to write this Charittar of Maya, which has taken Human beings away from their real-Self, Sri Waheguru ji. Once the Charittar was finished, Maaya would have been rendered weak and helpless, all pure souls would have gone to Sachkhand and world would have ended.’’

On 2/18/2018 at 1:21 AM, jkvlondon said:

Mani Singh ji had two wives didn't he ...  Muslim men have to pay a bride price so that is probably one reason not so many remarriages of  abandoned women unless they had own wealth. The other is the idea that there is someone alive who has known your wife ...very emasculating  and ego-pricking.

 

There's also this weird rule they have where you can only marry someone you divorced in the past (ie your exe) by getting that person married to someone else first! Oh yes, the prophet married an "abandoned" rich older woman! And they can have extra/pre-marital relations with women (including married women) that their "right hands possess" ie war slaves/war booty, as long as they are at war/jihad with them. in this case, as long as they  think they are in jihad, they can misuse women.

On 2/18/2018 at 2:28 AM, Ranjeet01 said:

 

Reality is yes you are correct, a cheating woman is going to be seen as expendable, there will be men that will see her as easy.  A man who does cheat is not going to be the same way in this instance.

" A key that can unlock any lock is seen as a master key, however a lock that can be opened by any key is a lousy lock"

 

Unfortunately we are now in an environment where the culture has become to change partners like clothes, and no need to be married to such partners and see them with a disrespectful eye not as life partners.

It used to be a woman became "rundee" when she was widowed. But now divorce and pre-marital partnerships are creating "rundees", where the husband is not dead but just dead to the woman.

On 2/12/2018 at 5:31 PM, Big_Tera said:

Having visited India. I remember talking to a few Sikhs. Who said that they did not consider themselves Sikhs. But more Hindu. Even though they were born Sikh.

They said being in India. They were surrounded by mostly hindus, mandirs and what not. Mostly hindu festvials, culture and traditions. In essence they said they regarded themselves more Hindus. Their friends were hindus. the neighbours were hindus. The language they had to speak was hindi apart from talking to their family members. 

Is this common In india. btw I am talking from speaking to these people from big cities away from Punjab. Such as mumbai, dehli, calcutta ect. 

They also did hindu pilgrimages and had mata photos. 

How can we stop this from happening. This is nothing against hinduism. 

 

 

 

Even before India was created, during the Guru's times when it was Bharat or Hindustan, sikhs were always surrounded by Mandirs and hindus, except there were terrorist muslims then.

Also in those times hindu was a geographical term, and no such term as Hindu"ism" existed until goras combined all the panths and folk traditions and repackaged them into an inaccurate religious term.