GuestSingh12345

Missed today, still got simran in. Having trouble getting past 5 days. 5/7 days in a week is still good. Maharaj kirpa we get to 10 days next. Day 0

Day 5 5am

Day 4 although I got up at 6 today. Not using alarms anymore, letting body get up on its own when it feels rested naturally. Feeling great last few days. The energy stays with you the rest of the day and keeps you uplifted. It's always there in the background giving you this feeling of peace and strength, the more you tune in on it the stronger they hit. It's so pure and purifying and releases pain and poison built-up in your mind. It's like there's these burned parts of you inside that we forget existed since they've been reduced to ashes. But when you do simran it's like those wasteland parts of ourselves we forgot about start coming back to life. It's being rebuilt from the ashes stronger than before. Those good qualities/traits you used to have years ago maybe even as a child that faded away and died start to come back and you're more alive now then ever before. It's saddening when I think about how much life I wasted without amritvela simran being part of it. How much happier and better life could've been. But then with this uplifting energy, you think instead how much better the rest of your life can be.What would happen you did this for years, how far could you go internally and externally, what else could you find. It's an adventure. There's some other things I've been thinking about and meaning to ask about for a while to get some clarity but needed some time to get my thoughts together for. I'll be asking this weekend.

Day 3

day 2 got up at 5 am

Got up at 5:30 today, no naps,not feeling tired, fully charged for the rest of the day. It's nice watching the sunrise.

Got up at 7 today, doesn't count for the challenge but it should help with fixing sleep schedule more easily. This is a long lifetime journey to transform life. Even if it takes a week or two of getting up at 6-7 to fix sleep schedule slowly and easily with sehaj, its worth it and no time at all in the bigger picture. Ideally I want to sleep and just naturally be awake by 4am without an alarm. The real battle isn't in the morning but the night before. The challenge for me is to have early dinner by 6-7 latest and sleep by 9. Family dinner is usually at 8-9 and everyone sleeps around 11-12. I'd have to make my own food early so I guess I'm having a few peanut butter sandwiches tonight while I figure out other options. If I can fall asleep by 9-10 today I'll getup at 5-6 tomorrow and go from there.

Missed today, slept through the alarm. Back to Day 0.

Forgot to post, Day 5. Couldn't sleep all night and was still awake by 3am so I decided to do 30 mins of simran then. Of course when I started, then magically I start feeling sleepy, the forces of Maya are strong. Got through it and slept back until 9am this morning. Going to do some good exercise to make sure I'm dead tired by 8-9 tonight. On a good note read some pages of my book so hopefully I get into the habit of reading.

Wow can't believe I thought this way 2 years ago. What was I thinking. Making prisoners do labour for free while being watched by guards, sounds like a modern day concentration camp in the making, something China does/would do. I bet people would specifically become guards just to torment prisoners for fun. What I'd now say is the problem is too complex to be solved by some simple ideas, and my idea would've probably made things worse than they are under the guise of doing good. Too much evil is done in the name of doing good for others, and too many people think they know what they're talking about and have too many ideas. For example, politics, so many people have such strong opinions but very few people actually know what they're talking about due to lack of experience in the field or study. At so many family gatherings there's always some group of uncles who bring up Punjab politics and its always interesting how convinced people are in their ideas and want others to listen to them and accept them. I noticed I had so many silly opinions of my own, spending time thinking about how things should be and random things like this . But recently, I stopped thinking about these things and letting these ideas go. It doesn't really help me now and never did before. I could use the time instead to improve my position in life so I could eventually do real good for others through actions rather than helping imaginary people in my mind through ideas. But for this prisoner idea, I agree generally with the idea that prison should help people get their lives back together and help prepare them for a good life after prison, but some people are so messed up that there's not much one can do to help them and I got no clue how to go about sorting it all out.

Day 4, probably the worst day so far. Was falling asleep and couldn't concentrate. Slept at 12-12:30, couldn't sleep. Had dinner at 9 and tried to sleep afterwards so that's probably why. Going to eat early and sleep early. Gotta book to read in case I can't sleep.

Day 3. Turned off alarm and snoozed off until 4:45, didn't get enough sleep. Did about 20 minutes today. Took a short nap afterwards so I should be tired today by 8-9pm.

Day 2. Same as yesterday, in bed by 10 slept by 11-11:30 today and did 15 minutes of simran. For tonight aim is to be in bed by bed 9 and asleep by 10 and do 30 minutes of simran. Going back to sleep setting alarm to wake up earlier than yesterday.

Day 1. Got up successfully and did 15 minutes of simran. Was in bed by 10 but fell asleep around 12-12:30. Starting small to let help sleep schedule adjust in a few days, and to feel less tired so you can start going for longer. Small win, but a win non the less. Going back to sleep now.

Day 0 today, starting tomorrow, aim is to wake up consistently at 4 am.

<< The Amritvela Challenge >> Dear everybody, welcome to the Amritvela Challenge. There is so much suffering in the world. To alleviate this, the source of life, the universe and creation, manifested themselves in the form of our Guru's to show the world a path to eternal peace and freedom that lies within each of us. To walk this path, our Guru's instructed us to rise in the golden hours of the morning and seek connection to that source through remembrance and bhagti (devotion). Through connection our pains will be lifted and we'll become truly strong. However, our mind's have been improsined by the forces of Maya, an entity which has mastered the power of illusion to imprison the mind's of all beings in the world. These forces will do their best to block us from connecting to the source as connection will free us completely from their rule. Maya will send its great warriors after us who we'll need to be ready to face. I invite everybody to join in on this journey, the path is open to all. Let's walk on this path together so that our chances of success are higher. Rules: 1. Getup everyday at amrtivela and try to connect with the source through simran, nitnetm, meditation etc.. Amritvela let's say is before 6am, so you should be starting your routine by 6 am. Try to pick one time that you can be consistent with and stick to it. If you can't get up at the time you pick, maybe get up later then over time getup a little earlier. 2. Post your streak daily, so that we can all keep each other accountable and uplift/motivate each other as a sangat. 3. If you miss one day, reset the streak to 0 and start again (don't feel guilty or beat yourself up, aim to improve more for next time). 4. Optional rule - Add the challenge to your profile signature. To do so, login and go to the top right corner and click your profile name and go under account settings and you should see the signature tab. Once there, you can Copy/Paste "(insert current streak here) IN THE AMRITVELA CHALLENGE" Notes: Let me know if there's anything you'd like to change about this challenge now or in the future. I made this so that we can actually support each other in getting up at amrtivela and make that a lifetime routine. This is a foundational routine that will totally change our lives for the better if we could be consistent enough. Not only would our spiritual lives change, but it would also transform your worldly life as a side effect. Imagine if you worked out after your routine then had a good breakfast, you would be fully charged for your day spiritually and physically. Then you could would be able to be very productive for the rest of the day and get a lot done and you'd build this positive cycle to compound your growth over time. This is probably the hardest habit to build but also the most rewarding. An idea I was thinking of was we could add ranks to be milestones for how many days you went as a fun incentive to keep going. So like 10 days could be a rank, then 20, 30, 60, 90 etc. I didn't know what to actually make the rank titles or descriptions. If you guys have ideas for that let me know.

I was actually worried a little about the potential daughter in law and just the other day they were talking how happy they would be to have a daughter in law to help out around the house and how much they would enjoy taking care of potential grandchildren. I was immediately imagining this imaginary wife getting into some argument with my parents about taking care of the child and then my parents coming to me to pick sides. I think one way of preventing the resentment and hatred from building up is to just dive all into the affection and love for them and to do as much as I can to make the situation better rather than letting it go off. It may hurt a lot if things don't workout but that's a necessary risk to change the relationship so much from where it is now to a healthy positive relationship. If these next few months don't workout, this will basically be the backup option. There's a big family cost to you and your future generations for moving out and starting again on your own as well as your immediate family. Ideally, if a family can stick together and work together in a healthy way as a team unit and not harm each other, they can easily become a big success and lay the foundations for success for all future generations. The goal is now to see if everything can workout if I really make a full effort.

I don't intend to deceive them or lie to them at all. I want to be honest with them fully and tell what I think atleast once. I have been thinking how I should tell them in the best way possible where I'm still saying everything I want to say and their potential negative reactions are minimized. I keep rehearsing in my head because then even if everyone gets very emotionally reactive, I will be less likely to react in the same way and make the situation worse. I don't think they would ever go for family therapy or want to involve a third person and I wouldn't want that either. I plan on talking to them soon properly sharing my concerns but not telling them of my intent to move out ( I think I will type up what I plan on saying formally and seek for some final advice on parts of the good draft before going in). I don't want them to change for fear of me moving out as that's not rooted in a healthy place, nor do I want them to think I'm blackmailing them. The biggest points I'd talk to them about changing is the constant fighting/arguing they do daily with each other and sometimes with us. Then I'd also want to set boundaries properly where they stop dumping their emotional problems onto me or have me pick sides in their arguments, or try to have me help them sort out their emotional problems and then simultaneously treat me like an infant. But if I could just have one thing out of all of it I'd want some space and privacy in the house where I don't hear any sound coming from the rest of the house, no tv, no phonecalls, no arguing. .Just somewhere I can go to be alone undisturbed if they're not in a good mood. Someplace I can just go and sit with my mind and do some simran or reflection to find that happiness within. That's the biggest reason I want to move out. To have some quiet place where I can live in this peace. Sometimes I just sit in the washroom for like half an hour with the fan on cause that takes away a good bit of noise, and I just slow my mind down and sit with myself and focus internally. Within the first 10 minutes usually, the worst of the feelings are fading away and my mind starts to slow down and peace starts to come in. All it takes to feel better for me after a bad day is usually this or 20 minutes of simran before I go to sleep. I usually meditate before sleep cause I sleep the latest of everyone and so everyone else is asleep by then. That makes it much quieter and peaceful late at night but it's been screwing up my sleep schedule and productivity lately and I don't think are bodies are naturally meant to be nocturnal and so now I'm trying to fix that. With living at home right now, there isn't enough quietness or peace in the house throughout the day where I can focus fully on the simran or other habits I'm trying to build secretly but there's a small window of hours at night where I can do my simran, workout, work on some skills and be done my personal routine and most of my daily productivity before everyone even gets up or can know. I can overcome the negativity and draining effect because this routine is so energizing and powerful. Maybe I can have more space/quiet by fixing my routine and so maybe I won't have to move out, and maybe life can be good for everyone more often if I had enough energy to overpower my parent's energy and let that influence them positively like theirs influenced me negatively. Maybe they could change for the better. However, I feel like I wasted my entire day if I'm unable to get up early for a day because I missed the golden hours and the rest day is all off without that starting power boost. I've also noticed I'm usually much happier when I'm alone with my siblings and our parents are out somewhere and they're usually much happier too. That's when we usually can relax and really let go and have the most fun, like ordering pizza and watching a movie or some tv show. I also want my parents to stop sharing things to others about my life (partly why I'm trying to build a secret routine), but I'd even more prefer if no one knew at all, because just having someone know of some good thing or quality or routine you have takes away from it and it's exponentially more worse if they tell others which they do by habit. I have hope for change, so I'm going to fix my routine and have a talk with my parents soon to see if we can make things work and see if things can change. I really want to spend time with my siblings and have a good relationship with my parents and have a good family environment overall so I will do the best I can. However, I am still making all the preparations for M-day(moving day) a few months away as a backup and my parents will have until then to show progress or otherwise I am out. In the absolute worst case, it's just a few more bad months of making my best effort and in the best case, the family improves and becomes whole. The rest is in guru sahib's hands. I am going to gurduwara sahib this weekend and will take the morning parkash hukamana they usually have on the tv screen as my personal hukamana and do ardaas for everything to work out. Again thank you all for your advice. It helps clear up and organize my thoughts sharing them here with you and helps prevent me from making big lifelong mistakes and handle the situation better.

Thanks for the responses. Yeah got 2 younger brothers, one is a year younger we'll call him sibling 1 the other is 10 years younger or sibling 2. We get along great and there's no problems between us at all. In fact the time I spend with them daily is the highlight of my day and I am grateful for having siblings like them. Me and sibling 1 are on the same page with our parents and we have this unspoken understanding where if they both get into some argument, we'll just do what we can to stay out of it as much as we can and not get entangled. Like especially we're in the car on some long drive we'll just plug in some headphones and start watching some youtube videos or tv shows, or listen to some instrumental music etc and enjoy the view outside as we drive along and hear their voices fade into the background. I had asked sibling 1 last year if they would be willing to move out with me if I ever did in the near future and they had surprisingly said yes. I haven't asked him again since nor mentioned the idea but I am planning to move as if sibling 1 would come along, this way in either case if he chooses to come along or not everything will be ready. We don't talk to sibling 2 about about our parents infront of him because he's too young I think and I'm not sure how it may affect him. I am concerned about leaving sibling 2 behind all alone because I don't want him to grow to resent us or an even worse problem is if he finds a bad group of friends to substitute us and we come home one day to find him on a bad path. I would be responsible for that. On the other hand, I think sometimes maybe it'd be better for sibling 2 if sibling 1 stayed with him at home so his world doesn't fall apart entirely and it might be easier for him to deal with. But then if sibling 1 really wants to come along, how could I tell him to stay while I go out on my own? Either way, I am worried about hurting sibling 2 and question if I'm being too selfish sometimes, but for now, I am spending time with him to make good times and the most out of it so hopefully that becomes a base for him where he can draw strength from and hopefully one day he becomes strong enough on his own to not fall into the influence of other kids and be able to stand alone if he has to for his own principles. I got a taste of all of that when I tried dropping hints to test their reaction,"how could you be so selfish, we've worked all our lives for you, this is not our culture, you promised us when you were younger(10) you would stay with us, where are you getting these ideas, you're supposed to help us retire, how will the siblings deal with it, do you hate us?, we'll die if you leave", I didn't push it further and dropped it as a joke where they calmed down, but I'd expect them to get really angry if I kept following through. Ideally, I want to be able to leave on as good of a note as I can. I don't want to just go missing in the middle of the night and not talk to them for 10 years and showup one day for a funeral, that's just a trainwreck for everyone. I want to leave the door open for a better relationship, because I think there is hope for change and a healthy relationship in the future. It just may take some time and I plan on dropping by every so often to check on them and see if they've changed a little. Like I was thinking maybe after first moving out, I would go back home after 2-4 months of no contact for a quick surprise day in day out visit for a few hours and see how they've been doing. Then if they are starting to change for the better, maybe come by again on surprise in 2-4 weeks and start keeping in touch slowly. If they turned for the worse and became more bitter, then try to have a good conversation and explain your thoughts some and keep checking in on them every month or two afterwards. I have some rough ideas for the actual day I plan on the big move, I just have a rough date right now and not set in stone. For one, I plan on leaving them some money behind to cover 1-2 month's worth of expenses as a good gesture so hopefully they don't think I hate them. Two, I don't plan on telling them where I am moving to until they show significant progress and they're at a point where they made it out of the tunnel and I believe they won't ever turn back. I am doing this because I am worried if I tell them where I'm going they will probably show up unannounced or even worse send other family members unannounced as diplomats to talk some sense into me to fix a problem they have no business dealing with. I am already expecting my parents to tell everyone in the family if I move out probably within the first few days, and in the worst case, I also expect them to play the victim card so they can make everyone feel bad for them and slowly turn the family against me. I'm okay with that, because I know the family members I trust won't so easily be swayed to picking a side and they would try to avoid this drama and wouldn't be the ones gossiping about it, and so long as I do my best to leave on a good note, I think they would understand and as long as they understand ,everything's good. This way, I'll only be left with family bridges with the best family members and the rest can poison each other for the rest of their lives, good riddance, life is too precious to be wasted on distant toxic family members, my parents are within my sphere and somewhat my responsibility so they rank higher than other distant family members in terms of who I should focus on helping. Third thing, I've been trying to figure out recently, is if I should give them a few days heads up or just tell them 1 afternoon I am going today? Obviously no notice is going to lead to a bigger explosive reaction, but giving them a few days might be enough for them to setup some intervention and come up with some plot/schemes. Again, I don't hate my parents, I am resentful somewhat if I'm being honest even though I don't really want to be. I would love if we could all get along though and they could actually learn to be happy or atleast not struggling through life everyday. There comes some days every so often where everyone is in a good mood and I actually feel like staying because it's such a nice feeling of belonging, but there's many bad days that overshadow it. There could be many more good days and that occasional taste keeps hope alive for a decent future relationship. I plan on secretly setting up a retirement fund for them if I can do well for myself cause under no circumstance do I want to see my parents living in some retirement home. I don't plan on telling them about it because they are bad with finances so would probably start spending more accordingly if I did. I also don't want them to expect to receive money from me consistently because it will lead to the same problem of overspending. I'd rather send them unexpected amounts randomly to throw them off. I also want to payoff some of their house too one day, but that's a big maybe in the future.

How would you go about letting your parents know you wanted to move it out in the future? I care for them, but they are somewhat controlling and clingy and can drain your energy often if you stay around them too much with all the arguing, and personal unhappiness/dukh and sometimes bitterness they carry with them. There's not much space where you can avoid them when they're not in a good mood and try to farm and keep your own peace internally and there isn't much privacy or space to act independently and it feels like I'm not free. Like I can't really go anywhere without them asking to know where I went, or if I achieve something (small or big) or try to build some routine/habit, they can't help themselves from telling other people despite me telling them not to do that many times. So one quick example, I started a diet plan like 2 weeks ago to start getting into shape and told them not to tell anyone else. They didn't agree with my actual diet plan and weren't too happy that I wasn't following their ideas. I started having like 1-2 rotis max per meal and I wouldn't have roti if the sabji wasn't high in protein like gobi, or gajara and I would make something else for myself instead plus I would go light on the gyo which always ticked them off and there would always be some argument whenever that happened. A few weeks later at a familly event they tell everyone I am dieting and all these uncles I don't know start giving their advice. I was mad because it seemed my parents were trying to get some revenge on me for not following their advice of having more roti and gyo by telling them something I told them not to share and they seemed to enjoy it somewhat. I really like my privacy and would rather keep as much as I can to myself. I don't really want anyone to know what I am doing because then your always being watched and everyone knows the cards in your hands and since I can't really trust people to keep anything private, I don't feel free at all and while I do what I can, I can feel the drainage of having to constantly resist this part of their nature to somewhat control and keep me codependent. How much more could I do/accomplish if I didn't have to dedicate energy against my parents or if they weren't frequently draining it. This is one small and example and on its own it's really a nothing, but all these small nothings add up and lead to bigger things, and I've noticed this is common in our community and it happens to some of my cousins as well. Maybe it's the parents way of carrying their children as their trophies, but the bigger problem is I think deep down that I won't be able to develop properly as an adult if I keep living with them for my entire life or atleast if I never venture out on my own once. I plan on helping them when they get older cause they're my parents and really do want good for them or atleast I think I do, and I may temporarily move in with them or have them move in with me if I want to spend more time with them or their health starts go do down cause time changes everything. But, from previous experiences of trying to help them deal with their problems I noticed that they will very quickly try to depend on me to fix their problems and in a sense try to drown me with them. I already somewhat made it out once thanks to maharaj's kirpa, so I don't want to be pulled back in but I don't want them to drown either, so I think the best I can do for them is to lend them a stick and help them from a distance, but if they don't take help then there's nothing more that I can really do for them. I think the idea of their children moving out makes them angry/sad and it's more a storm of a bunch of different emotions mixed in at once with some attachment-clingy or dependency kind of love and maybe some sense of needing to control. I tried dropping hints to test a reaction and it didn't go well. For now, I try to keep my own peace internally and not let them drain it or let their negativity rub off on me so that the cycle ends with them and so if I become a father in the future, my kids won't see those negative aspects of my parents reflected through me and they hopefully benefit from that and can go further down the line morally for their future legacy. But, of course there's still days where it feels overwhelming to deal with it and it's always affecting other areas of my life and in those moments of weakness, I go back to guru sahib to get some more strength to hold the fort and I carry on trying to remove all bitterness/ negativity from my own mind and try instead to fill my mind with peace and coolness by sometimes doing simran while allowing myself to just feel grateful for everything I have as deeply as I can allow, for even these simple clothes that I wear now or the blankets that keep me warm at night are god's blessings. I want to be that person in a group who simply by just being around you feel that same pure energy in your own mind which gives you some temporary relief to your own suffering and gives you hope for your own life. It's kind of like what I am feeling right now, but I want to be overflowing with this energy, this sukh from naam. There's not enough people like that in the world and the few who are have to be extremely cautious not to be swarmed and overwhelmed by the dukhs of other people and again be thrown back into the same mess they escaped in the first place and become loaded with dukh all over again. What would you guys advise as parents or children would be the best way to deal with all this? Do I really need to live with my parents their entire lives to take care of them even if I intend to help them later in their times of most need? How would you guys balance this drive for independence and also responsibility to care for your parents as an independent adult? Did you guys go through similar things? Any general advice, or tips from experience? All appreciated.

dive into gurbani and search for answers directly from your guru. I love using igurbani at this link: https://www.igurbani.com/search. It's so convenient and really makes it much easier to connect with and understand guru sahib. You can search SGGS in different ways. For ex, you can search all of SGGS with a key english word for example and it will return a list of all gurbani that has that full english key word in its english translations. For example,you have a question about 'kaam' and in this context specifically to lust so we search lust. You will get the results as in the screenshot, and then as you can see, each english translation of each pangti of gurbani here contains the entered keyword lust. Then you can click on each pangti here which will redirect you to the entire shabad so you can get a clear picture of what guru ji is trying to tell you. For instance one shabad in the results is attached below on screenshot 57: You should try to do understand as deeply as you can what guru ji is trying to say in that shabad. Plus there's english translations too to help you understand and figure out how to apply guru ji's teachings to your situation. Hope this helps. P.s this shabad may seemingly start harsh, but don't let that dishearten you, guruji cares about their children more than anyone ever could, they are here to save us. What I see from many of the 'harsher' shabads is that guru ji always gives us a way back, they always leave a door open, it's never a hopeless situation, there's always a path back to the light and there's always something we can do.

how is this stuff not sorted out or found before marriage. Usually you can pick up some vibes from people by meeting them.

This sounds amazing, but I am not seeing too much yet about curriculum or what and how they are actually going to teach. It's probably too early but would be interesting to see. I think the main deciding factor about big projects like these being effective for our community's growth is the people and leadership behind the project. If the leaders and teachers are deep in sikhi, then naturally the students will be more drawn towards sikhi itself and the values will carry on. Hopefully it is not the case where the admins are in it for the money and status and could care less about the values and so the kids end up only somewhat better or worse as they would've if they went to public school. We need more projects like these working well for the community as it gives hope to change our current systems.

full shabad a little slower pace to enjoy more