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Redoptics

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  3. How to deal with death

    in WHAT'S HAPPENING?

    Posted

    1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:

    I don't know if this is Panjabi folk culture, or a clever way to stop people dwelling too much on the deceased, but I clearly remember being told (when young) not to remember people who have passed on too much, because it keeps them tied to this plane.   

    Make of it what you will. 

    I'm human bother, obviously my mind goes 2 my wife im not  a Guru or Gursikh 

    1

  4. How to deal with death

    in WHAT'S HAPPENING?

    Posted

    On 10/21/2021 at 9:47 PM, MisterrSingh said:

    Generally speaking (I'm not making this about your particular experience), if her last rites were performed according to Sikh maryada, then she wouldn't "be" with anyone, much less in a specific country with another person. That's what happens to so-called ghosts or spirits who haven't been able to pass over; they cling to people they loved or with whom they had an affinity when alive.

    Sikhi states, from the various things I've read over the years, that the worst thing that can possibly happen for the deceased is for their essence to remain tied to a living person or people. This would suggest the final paats, ardaasa, etc., conducted in the name of the deceased didn't work or fulfil their intended purpose. Then you have to ask yourself, "why?"

    Cheers brov

    2

  5. How to deal with death

    in WHAT'S HAPPENING?

    Posted

    1 hour ago, MisterrSingh said:

    Generally speaking (I'm not making this about your particular experience), if her last rites were performed according to Sikh maryada, then she wouldn't "be" with anyone, much less in a specific country with another person. That's what happens to so-called ghosts or spirits who haven't been able to pass over; they cling to people they loved or with whom they had an affinity when alive.

    Sikhi states, from the various things I've read over the years, that the worst thing that can possibly happen for the deceased is for their essence to remain tied to a living person or people. This would suggest the final paats, ardaasa, etc., conducted in the name of the deceased didn't work or fulfil their intended purpose. Then you have to ask yourself, "why?"

    I dont believe in ghost or spirits,  what i was referring to is ik, now she gone bk home but i can not engage with her, does that make sense,  or am o dumb 

    1

  7. How to deal with death

    in WHAT'S HAPPENING?

    Posted

    3 hours ago, Suchi said:

    I understand what you are saying. You can ask her in your mind or out loud and wait for a sign. 

    After my mother died I kept wondering about her though I had many dreams. But during the last one I asked her where she was and she said she was 'in India with her mother'. This made perfect sense to me. 

     

    Thank you,  means a lot

    2

  8. How to deal with death

    in WHAT'S HAPPENING?

    Posted

    14 hours ago, Suchi said:

    If you're able, I suggest you do some charity work, maybe helping the homeless for example. Seeing people worse off than yourself may help you stop thinking about your own problems.  

     

    Already pay to oxfam, in here name,  I just need to know she, is ok , I hope u make sense 

    1

  10. How to deal with death

    in WHAT'S HAPPENING?

    Posted

    41 minutes ago, Kau89r8 said:

    No matter how much you are hurt and in pain, i know nothing will bring your wife back..she loved you and would want the best for you. Would she be okay to see you in this state today. She will always be a part of you and that can never change. 

    I know easier said then done, try to see we will all leave one day. My days could be numbered. Make most of each day, imagine its you last day, can you look back and say you'd have no regrets? How would your wife want you to live. She would want to see you happy and live your life to the fullest. 

    Grief never ends. Where there is deep grief, there is great love.

    Waheguru ?

     

    Well quantum physics says different 

    2
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    How to deal with death

    in WHAT'S HAPPENING?

    Posted

    Thank you for your replies,  taking the time out and reading and responding means much to me.

     

    I'm 42 not bothered about a wife,  however want to have children,  I'm so gone thinking about sex, would be cheating 

     

    BTW I'm Aries very structured to what an Aries is 

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    Sad story of bullying

    in WHAT'S HAPPENING?

    Posted

    https://www.sikhhelpline.com/bullying-the-tragic-story-of-a-sikh-boy/

    The Tragic Story Of A 13 Year Boy – Bullying Kills!

    vijahsingh-200x300.jpgMonday: my money was taken.
    Tuesday: names called.
    Wednesday: my uniform torn.
    Thursday: my body pouring with blood.
    Friday: it’s ended.
    Saturday: freedom.

    These are the final diary pages of Vijay Singh. Read his true story….

     

    One in ten students said that they had suffered severe bullying which included physical violence. Most of them felt they cannot share their problems and the consistent bullying they faced drove them to depression and misery.

    Vijay Singh was a bright 13-year-old boy from Manchester. This child was tormented; his life made a misery and it drove him to taking his life. The reason why this happened was because of intolerance, racism and bullying. Vijay Singh attended predominantly a white school. Most children did not have an understanding of why Vijay Singh wore a turban. Racist boys at school would beat up young Vijay Singh, when going to school, in school and going home. He was half their size, but size did not matter. They would knock his turban off and punch his eyes, so what if he cried they thought.

    Vijay Singh good grades made these unintelligent racist children, jealous. They would taunt him, and call him names. Paki! Turban-head! Wrap head ! His lunch would be stolen. The boys would swing their fist in his nose. Bleeding Paki! Bloody Paki! , they would say. Not knowing the pain they caused when his nose went crunch . Blood pouring down young Vijay Singh shirt.

    They grabbed his arms, and would push him into to the wall. They would hit him, Punch! Crunch! and he would fall to the ground. They didn’t care how he felt or why he had a turban on his head. Kick! Spit! they would watch him crawling, crying for help. The bullies would walk away leaving young Vijay Singh crying out for help.

    The School lessons would begin. For most children lessons were normal, a laugh a giggle as well doing work. However for Vijay Singh this was like a prison cell at the school from hell. He would sit in the class with his blood stained clothes.

    Tears would roll down his eyes, and he had a sour broken nose. However the bullies didn’t stop their taunting. They could not feel the pain or see why he should not deserve it. He was brown, he wore a turban, and wasn’t normal. He wasn’t normal.

    What is normal? Is everyone single person the same? Someone is clever, someone is good with their hands, someone is fat, or slim and someone is tall or small. We are not all normal. Our abnormality makes us individual, and it represents our background, identity and what we stand are.

    No teacher saw this bullying happening. No teacher saw the signs of bullying. No teacher said to this kid, don?t worry, No one said, you are a Sikh, and you are brave and strong…….. No one knew young Vijay Singh plans, of what he had been thinking and going over his mind almost certainly. He opens the door, slams it shut. Runs up the stairs, for freedom calls He escapes from his body walls , and is free at last from the horrific violence, which he had suffered silently. Vijay Singh was found hanging from the banister rail at his home on one Sunday in 1996. This was the silent death of an innocent child who was tormented, and mentally and physically tortured. Where his life ended, we begin, to understand the effects of bullying.

    Did you know?

    • 50% of people have been bullied in school.
    • Bullying causes psychiatric injury, a feature of which is reactive depression.
    • At least 16 children commit bullycide in the UK every year .
    • Many Sikh children have been the subject of racial abuse because they look different.
    • Read his poem below……

    Racism also manifests itself in teachers failing to take racist bullying seriously, even after tragedies such as the suicide of schoolboy Vijay Singh. There are still a huge number of cases of racist bullying, which have been dealt with improperly. The Sikh Helpline were made aware of a case where a secondary school pupil was attacked by a number of other pupils, leaving him with a broken arm. His assailants were left unpunished and continue to verbally and physically abuse him. To maintain order, he has been excluded from socialising at school and has received complaints from teachers for highlighting inadequacies in his treatment.?

    THE BULLY Poem …..

    Dedicated to Vijay Singh, aged 13, who hung himself at home in Manchester, after being bullied at school.

    Vijay Singh 13 yrs old

    “Racist ruffian, low-down scum
    Foul mouthed thug do you think its fun
    To beat up a kid who’s half your size?
    Knock his turban and punch his eyes
    He gets good grades and it makes you sick
    turban-head’s clever and you’re so thick.
    You push and punch and steal his lunch
    You swing your fist his nose goes crunch
    Bleeding Paki! Bloody Paki!
    Swear a lot then steal his money
    Grab his arms – push him to the wall
    Punch! Crunch! He takes the fall
    Kick! Spit! Watch him crawl
    Walk away from his crying call.
    Lessons start at the school from hell
    Classroom’s more like a prison cell
    Sitting in his blood stained clothes
    Tears in his eyes and a busted nose
    Bully boys don’t stop their taunting
    No teacher saw his daily haunting
    No teacher said you’re a lion Singh
    Be BRAVE, be STRONG but never give in
    School bell rings:”Bye-Bye friends I ain’t coming to hell again!”
    Running home as fast as he can
    No one knows his secret plan
    Up the stairs for freedom call
    He escapes from his body walls
    Free at last from the violence
    Hangs himself in deathly silence.
    Where he ends we begin
    Bullies won’t kill another Singh
    Unite as CHILDREN make the change
    Don’t let things stay the same
    We want freedom – no more crime
    We want freedom all the time
    No more Singhs will die this way

    Unite as CHILDREN – fight them today!
    CHILDREN UNITE
    IT’S TIME TO FIGHT
    THE BULLY BOYS
    THE RACIST NOISE
    DON’T LIVE IN DREAD
    TELL THE TEACHER INSTEAD
    YOU’RE NOT ALONE
    LET YOUR TROUBLES BE KNOWN”

    At least 1 Sikh student has committed suicide in the UK because of racial abuse.  This issue of racial abuse is present amongst all communities and can affect anyone regardless of religion, colour, caste or creed.  If you know someone who is being bullied, know someone who is bullying someone or need help yourself (as a bully or victim), THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE HERE TO HELP AT THE SIKH HELPLINE, 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK. PLEASE CONTACT US USING ONE OF THE METHODS ON OUR CONTACT US PAGE.

    The SikhHelpline needs your support

    We are here to provide support to young people around the UK deal with various issues. In order to continue this service we need people like you to donate as much as you can spare. Our greatest fear is that when desperate children call our Hotline for help they will find our lines busy and never ring again. To Donate

     
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