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Guest posted a topic in GUPT | ANONYMOUSWJKK WJKF I'm going to be talking about a very sensitive topic so please bear with me, I don't think there's anyone else that I can talk to about this issue. So I met a girl a few months ago and we became best friends, and soon enough we realized that we are both in love with each other and want to get married, which is great. However, the issue is the mistake(s) she has made in her past. She had a boyfriend with whom she was in a living relationship with, although she's living in a foreign country, she belongs to strict Sikh family from India, so she hasn't told anyone else about her previous relationship except me. She cries sometimes because of her mistakes and also tells me that she's not worthy of me and that I deserve/can find someone better than her. She also says that she will be the "..luckiest girl in the world" if we get married. She told me that she can't handle another heart break, that she doesn't want her dreams to be broken again. I get really angry, sad, upset, worried. .. about her past sometimes, simply because I have waited for her all my life and I expected the same, but what's done in the past cannot be undone, and she also has many regrets. She has also made some other mistakes in her past that I cannot discuss here.... Please don't get me wrong, but I do sometimes feel like 'getting even' by breaking up with her and marrying another girl; that has waited for me just as I have waited for her. It's just that I can't imagine the love of my life loosing her virginity to another guy and then to have 'done it' countless times with him, it upsets me and hurts me probably more than it hurts her. I still love her with all my heart and can't imagine my life without her. So I usually try to convince myself to think about the beautiful future we can have together. This is not something that I can share with my parents, because they will completely disagree with our marriage, so in a way I will also be lying to my parents by not telling them. I can tell that she loves me a lot. Her previous boyfriend took great advantage of her innocence and then walked away, got married to another girl. It was his idea to be in a "living relationship" in the first place and initially she refused, but eventually she gave in. So I'm crushed between love and her past now, I am really confused, I want to give her all the happiness in the world, but at the same time I feel that what she has done is wrong, and I shouldn't have to suffer for it. She cannot live without me and I can't live without her either. Please guide me, provide me with your views, I really need some help in order to make the right decision. .. . . I'll pray to Waheguru for all your help. Thank you. Bhul chuk maaf. WJKK WJKF
So as you can see from topic title, I am struggling between sikhism and christianity atm. I have raised in christian family and everytime I try to "connect" with guru I remember things from my past what father have said about other religions: "you will never find peace from any other religion, they are from satan..." etc.... It haunts me SO much. Only thing I "desire" in this life is Love and happiness, thats all. For example when I chant shabads I can almost feel the presence of guru, when im starting to feel gurus love and joy etc. That moment is ruined by my fathers thoughts what he have said to me.... "Other religions are from satan, only christianity will bring you true peace" - yet I havent felt anything spiritual in christianity..... even I have been in church countless times. How to get rid off past religious beliefs? how I am going to find happiness as sikh? It is so frustrating when I am doing even small amount of progress to my path of sikhism and then my fathers "seed of hate and hesitation" starts to affect in my mind. EDIT: My mind is also strongly haunted by my father "dreams from god". He once saw a dream where Jesus said to him that I am lost case - that my soul is condemned to hell aldready, for worshipping other/"false" gods (waheguru, krishna etc.) This is one of thought that I cant get rid off... ----- offtopic: I have also been struggling alot with Question "what is meaning of my life". I feel so useless and worthless. I have asked it and tried to find it trought many religious point of view but I still cant see it. I have heard and read alot meaning of life in "common" like live in peace and love etc.... but how I am able to live in peace and love, without getting peace and love from god himself? its imbossible to spread it if you dont have it.
I have been feeling this way and I need to get it out of my chest. To start off, I'm a 20 year old girl who's recently just started loving my religion, Sikhi. I had to experience a major downlow in my life for me to have my eyes truly opened and get my head out of this life, all this illusion..However, I did make mistakes in my past which I took self-pity for over 1.5 years and then I realized "that's it..I can't sit here and be sad anymore, Guru Sahib has already forgiven me". I am now starting to understand that my past actions are in the past - and whatever I have done wrong (which btw were A LOT OF THINGS!) ..I have to simply let go. Now, I read a few posts on here about people that went the same wrong path as me and realized how badly they messed up and were asking for forgiveness. However, I came across RUDE people that told them "oh well, you should've known better" or "Well, thats what you get by doing that, or doing this", etc etc etc...The list goes on. I just want to let everyone know - and I mean EVERYONE - cause I know all of you have made mistakes..that it is okay to make mistakes. Some are bigger than others, but as long as YOU can feel it in your whole body and soul that you were wrong and you ask with a pure heart for an apology to God...he has already forgiven you my friend <3 The hardest part is not too get forgiveness from babaji (because let me reassure you that he already has forgiven you), sometimes it's about forgiving ourselves for what we have done. It is not easy to let go of our past mistakes and the past can be such a heavy burden to hold on too every day of our lives but I realized that life is just that - life. Don't take it too seriously...you're here for ONE thing and that is to go back home. Your time is NOW - not the past, not the future but right here, right NOW. If you can truly feel your unconditional love for God NOW then nothing else matters. Do good things NOW - don't repeat your mistakes NOW - Love God NOW...it's all about right now (hopefully, i've said now enough to make you guys understand hahaha) I just made this post because I know a lot of you are seeking some kind of comfort from your past..or something "bad" you did yesterday. No one else is gonna give you comfort besides our guru sahib <3 you have to feel the love flowing in your body for him and that is how you know your life is slowly changing..Go recite some bani, spend some 'alone' time with babaji, etc.. All I know is I'm not the same girl I used to be a year ago. Living in a westernized society, I made mistakes (boyfriends, intimacy) and even though God has always been there for me, I am beginning to truly see him. He's always been within me, I was just so caught up with illusionary stuff that I forgot to look inside of me, my heart, my soul. Okay this is getting super long (and I need to get back to studying lol) but I just wanted to write this out to everyone who needed to hear a positive thought today. God is there for you, he is NOT mad at you...we're all his children and he's seeing us fall and stand back again and one day..we will be back at our true home. For now, hang in there <3 Life is too precious - our Gurus have given us this life because we are one step closer to God..let's take this chance, yea? and to all those mean people trying to make people feel bad about their mistakes...STOP. You are not superior to anyone - we are all here as equal's. Let's offer guidance to those that need it & love everyone. Wow, I'm sorry for sounding like Mother Teresa =P but hopefully, this makes sense and I'm sorry if I said anything wrong.