simran345

Thankuji for ur replies, I think I get too sensitive at what people say to me, but there is only so much one can take, and i dont like any kind of pressure. I did not do it intentionally, and whatever will happen so will. obviously I dont wish bad on anybody, not even my enemy, but when anger strikes it is a very nasty chor. I went to see Maharaj ji today, and felt so bad, cried, and when the curtains were opened for their darshan, it was like woww, I felt so gud, and felt lots better by just sitting there infront of them, wish i could never leave, felt soo safe, and accepted whatever will happen will be down to my own doing, and asked for forgiveness. So its up to them whatever will be.. Thankuji for helping me sangat ji..

I think its an interpersonal communication between India and uk lot. tHere are marriages that work wheneither spouse is from either country, but from what i have seen their is difference of opinions in the slightest things. My latest episode was with somebody from India. Not all people from India are like this but there are women that try tactics to get their own way. Their communication does not work for me at all. The men will not say anything to them and become their servants rather than have the same attitude towards uk born wives, if they from India themselves. People can hide this as much as they like, but there is a difference or i would like to say unfairness. They will never admit they are wrong, maybe its a cultural thing in India to act like that. I get so annoyed when the India girls talk loud n rudely in the stores whereas the uk ones darkeh boldia. I feel that group do not have the communication skills, and level of understanding of sincerity, and when somebody like me tells a few home truths they can not handle it. But there are sincere India girls too. It goes both ways.

I have thought about this, and to be honest i think the person deserved a shouting for what the hurt i was put thru. I am not stupid and forgiving nice person that would do anything for anybody within my means, but there comes a time when people do try and take advantage of vulnerable ones, and self defence is important. Maybe should have used different words but the truth is people take others for granted and do hurt their feelings and mann. The dunia of today will never admit they are wrong and will always try to make the other feel guilty or bad for defending themselves, even if it costs somebody's life. I dont believe in this baduba stuff, as what about when people say to me in anger, they should realise it hurts me too. Dunia can say things, but they cannot take it when its given back. Rest god will forgive me for what i said whether it was a thought a curse or bad, coz they know i did not intentionally do it. Another friend gone, maybe not the friend i needed, so happened for a good reason.

You are right, not many sit to listen to paat, instead go downstairs to talk to each other in langar hall. Fair enough meet your relatives etc, but some just matha tek n go and its all about giving the gift whatever. I think those holding paats should think wisely and only invite those who will not be troubled or that can get to nearby. Because it is so much trouble to go all that way and not get any laha from it. Obviously Maharaj jis darshan is keemti, but end of day how many people actually go and listen to paat? Its all about showing your face that you came, and petrol not cheap coming from far, and the cost of gift if its a birthday, etc. Why put others through all that trouble when they only have one day off work, where they can go to their local gurdwara without suffering.

Agree with unbReakable. But depends also on how many committees would take up the awareness. Unfortunately people with allergies have to self manage themselves and take precautions when eating out, as with any other health issue. No place is going to be 100% nut free gluten free wheat free etc. But its about getting awareness to the gurdwaras, about these allergies so they can provide a comfortable environment for the sangat without confusion of having to decide what is in the langar. Its a hard issue to tackle as its not like a restaurant where they know what is being served on a regular basis. And with so many sevadars involved how to implement such guidelines is not easy. But its also about just having the knowledge of it, which makes some difference. I sometimes ask the sevadars which items have nuts/seeds in them. Some sevadars, are confused or think i am being fussy, but that's not their fault as they do not have the awareness. Its also not a language or community issue in my opinion as i have experienced it with people that are fluent in English, and staff members that work in stores that sell food. Its about getting the awareness across and how?

I am on phone now so unable to get info from pc, but just found this, uk site. At the end of 2014, new legislation will be introduced that will require food businesses to provide allergy information on food sold unpackaged, in for example catering outlets, deli counters, bakeries and sandwich bars. There will also be changes to existing legislation on labelling allergenic ingredients in prepacked foods. Guidance is being developed to help businesses meet these new requirements and this page will be updated as this progresses. More information about the new European legislation can be found on the European Commission website at the link below. If you would like to be kept up-to-date with changes to the legislation contact Sue Hattersley at:sue.hattersley@foodstandards.gsi.gov.uk . Will research on voluntary/charitable organisations tomorrow. Any more info, please contact me, and lets get the ball rolling. Thankuji.

@Sikhseeker sorry to hear about the experience you and your daughter had. plz message me. I would like to draw up a document of awareness for the gurdwaras, but not sure of how to go about getting it implemented. I have been avoiding langar for few years due to being advised of nut/seed allergies. Due to health problems have never got around to starting up this awareness. Very good point you have made, since gurdwaras are open to the public and i feel there should be no exceptions as they are serving to the public. Think its about time this was put into practise, before somebody else is affected from it. Any other suggestions please either proceed yourselves or lets correspond with each other on here if its ok with sikhsangat, as there will be people that want to remain gupt, to create a template. I am willing to be involved in this. Thankuji.

Waheguru is my best friend, people will always hurt, and there maybe some that console you or help, but god is th one I cry to when things go wrong... Mangan maran smaan hai,Mat koi mangeh bheekh, Mangne se marna bhalaa, Yeh Satgur ki Seekh... Nobody but god will listen to you with love. Do Chaupai Sahib ji da paat, that will help u to be strong from within inside your mann.

Is it this one? Siri Guru Singh Sabha 17-19 St Georges Street Northampton NN1 2TN

I agree with original poster, some women go over the top with their clothes, they can wear a cardigan over top if they feel its revealing, but nooo, its going to ruin the wedding pics and video I guess. I dont like the low back suits at all, even elder women wear them, which look ridiculous... Im not really a backwards person, but do know what to wear a the gurdwara, whether its a wedding or not, and if women do not the difference between a gurdwara and a reception hall then they have a lot of learning to do.

Some people dont have a choice as to which side to use. I know a lady whose right side does not function due to disability. I also had a problem with my right side for some time. God sees everybody as equals, it does not matter which side you use. Like others have said if both sides function, use both.

Lol@Mehtab Singh

@lost, sorry but your first post confused me, bit long and no full stops. But seems like everywhere you go you are seeing things relating to sex that you should not. I have to say i dont think you have a problem, maybe observing as you are younger and do not have a busy life. But i have to agree with you that what you are seeing is part of kalyug. This world has changed, i have noticed it too. Its like everybody seems only to talk about sex more than years before. Married unmarried its happening everywhere. I also have been shocked at people i talk to, the way they have started to talk, also have affairs and lots of nonsense stuff going on. Sounds like you from India, not sure, but if you are i too am hearing more stories from there, like its some sort of craze there. I blame the internet and technology for this increased interest in people. You have to keep away from the wrong stuff, you seem to have a clear mind of what you want to do in your life and respect that waiting until you are married will be more rewarding. This is great thinking and shows how disciplined you are. This issue in my opinion without offending anybody seems to be inbred in peoples thoughts more in India. I see students coming from there and see the difference in their thoughts and those born here towards opposite genders where they are male or female. People will disagree with me on what i am saying, but i have to say also agree about the pind situation. Maybe they think its cool or what i dont know.

@consciousness, Sorryji i just copy pasted from different sites off the net, and they all said butter. Its penji by the way, but thats irrelevant. Thankuji learned something else too.

Dont normally listen to AKJ kirtan, but I loved th way this Giani sung, watched it on Sikh Channel, lovely...

Maybe she has depression. Its hard to tell what the mental state of a person is, they look normal on top, but their disorder is invisible. Its not right what she is doing, she may not even know she is doing it.. A lady was once shouted at and humiliated infront of lots of customers on a busy day, in a punjabi grocery store, as she had been something quite often. Not sure what she was doing,, but guessing it was stealing...but she was so nicely dressed, a middle aged woman, from a respectable family, and kept saying sorry afterwards, as she didnt realise she did it, but the way she was humiliated in front of everyone, that was very hurtful. I feel somebody should be told with sincerity and pyar in order to help her. If she does have the problem, her family will appreciate it as they may not know she has a problem for which she could get further professional help. If she doesnt have a problem or disorder, then i would feel it as my duty to let her know she has been spotted on dvd, then it will make her think twice next time she does it.

I have also learned something from this post, so thankuji to ScottishSingh for asking this question. Found some info on the net: It consists of the following in equal parts: Butter, Sugar, Flour The significance of it is: Sweetness - The sugar shows the sweetness of the Guru Butter - Shows the richness of the Guru Flour - Shows the intricate detail and in depth meaning of the Guru [small particles of flour, grains]. Everyone receives this in equal parts, this shows that everyone is equal in the eyes of Waheguru [GOD] and the Guru. understood and experienced as a blessing from the Guru and should not be refused. Those who prepare it bathe beforehand and recite hymns from the Guru Granth Sahib as they make it. When cooked, it is covered with a white cloth which is sprinkled with water as a symbol of cleanliness. It is then placed near the Guru Granth Sahib. During the Ardas at the end of worship it is stirred with a small kirpan(sword). It is then given to all who are present as a sign of their equality and unity. Offering kara parshad also makes sure that no one leaves the Guru's presence empty handed. The recipe was given by Guru Gobind Singh and the experience of receiving the Guru's Parshad is a reminder that all blessings come by Guru's kirpa (grace) and that everything we receive in life is sweet to us because it comes from the Guru. As a sign of humility and respect, visitors accept the Karah Parshad sitting, with hands raised and cupped. The offering and receiving of this food is a vital part of hospitality protocols. It has the same amount of semolina butter and sugar, which is to show the equalities of men and women. Ask the Sewadar to give you a very small amount of “Parshad”– Say “very small portion” (or "sa-vah-yah") to the Sewadar (volunteer) as the approaches you and before you put up your cupped hands, if u cannot manage to eat normal portion. Do not refuse it or throw it away as this is considered disrespectful to the Guru. I didn't know about the last bit, and have in the past refused parshad sometimes, how would that affect me?

Tell him the truth of what you think about the whole situation. Obviously there was a reason for your father asking your views. Its like a kid asking parents if she or he can have sweets and chocs knowing they are not right to eat. Sometimes our parents need some help in understanding what's right and wrong too. For example i had to stop my mother from making food offerings at what they call sraad, which Sikhs dont believe in. As she been used to do it by habit for ages she found it hard, until i explained why we dont do it. Some parents are stuck in old way thinking and begin believing what they are being told by somebody else. So if i were you i would make it clear how you feel and that it hurts you. Good luck

Main v ithe fasgyi lol. Hor koi forum labea ni chaj da, te na samj aundi ki likde rende horaa te ini. Nale das saal laadinde jwaab dehn nu koi dusre forums te.

Any paat u do is good, rather than nothing at all. maybe u could build it up slowly, i think its better u understand it, and take it in, rather than skimming through it fast and not understanding at all.

India media system is soooo rubbish, how on earth can they say those things on tv, when the whole world knows what happened. We maybe abroad, but we know what happened. They try to twist the truth, yes Kiranjit Kaur gave a gr8 answer, the truth, which others are trying to hide and dramatise into something else.

Thankuji

Hi Admin, am i the only one having problems with this site? or are there others that cant edit posts, or font, or even see the lists normally at bottom of the screen of members. and its seems slower.

These kind of people brainwash others trying to make them go against Sikhi, when they very well know our faith is not as they are making out. Thats the difference between good people and bad, a good person will always tell the truth the way it is, whether it offends somebody, the bad will exaggerate and try to make others look bad, no wonder people are going to pakhandis, with all this going on in india.

I understand is as dukh and sukh. Karm, whatever we sow in we reap. Meaning dont doubt our karm, Waheguru bina koi asara nai, jo karm beejeh hai oh bhogne pende, te una de bina koi ni swarh sakda sade karm.