I agree with TuhadaDass ji but not sure about the meat part..
I feel Singh Khalsa 1984 needs a balance like he even said it.. First he was into drugs, alcohol, etc which is the extreme..
Then he was into Amrit, Khalistan, vegan..Extreme again..
I would say he is so lucky he is still doing great.. Thank God he got such a supportive and lovely wife..
I have been through some hard time in life and used to cry at nights.. not eating well..It was really bad.. I was being so negative...
Then I started Paath, Naam Simran.. It was so helpful..my days got better and I sleep in peace..
Shukar hai Waheguru da..
I was also thinking of Amrit but I took my time to see if I will be able to do it and it was hard..
I started thinking of taking amrit and it is gonna help me at the end.. otherwise I will be stuck in maya like these poor humans around me..but I am not strong enough at this moment...
The thing is when we start something new, we are motivated...but motivation doesn't last for too long..
Also, I was having some ego issues because I started thinking I am not like those people who are doing bad..I do paath...so I am better... in a way I used to tell myself.. I am better than others because I am doing good stuff... Haumai ...
Finally, I have relaized before taking Amrit.. I need to get ready for it.. I need to worry more about inside rather than my physical appearance.. I need to be humble.. I need to focus on my karams..my thoughts..
I started listening to Kathas, Gurbani and I have realized that we need to practice lots of naam simran and need to have compassion for others... so I have decided it is better to take time rather than rushing things...
So Singh Khalsa ji... Please don't rush again.. First you have decided to be Amritdhari..now going back to Mona..
Later on, you might regret again.. I don't agree that you are living a lie if you will keep kes and wear dastaar..
It is a respect that you want to show our Guruji..
Living a lie. Being fake... You are telling stories, kind of convincing yourself to go back to that Mona appearance..
You are not being fake... you are trying harder.. please keep it up..
Lets say you will go back to that mona look... So, isn't that being selfish?
When you needed Guruji's kirpa.. you did Naam Simran, Amritdhari life and everything...
Now that your life is on track, you want to leave that Amitdhari lifestyle...that lifestyle was so helpful for you..
You should not worry about what others think or say.. I am sure they talk now as well that a gangster is becoming Amritdhari and all...
You are not here to please people.. you are here to please your soul
Now that you have proper Sikh appearance, please keep it.. and please try to do naam simran.. It will give you peace..
So... Either you have to live a lie..according to your perspective.. or you have to be a selfish.. that is what I feel..
You can decide but please think and take your time...
Veer ji, please don't mind if you think I have said a lot... just giving my opinion in general
Some days, I don't do paath.. I feel so bad all day.. I guess it is my Soul crying for soul food ..
I just want to make sure that I do naam Simran everyday..praising Waheguru..being grateful and having good karams...
Waheguru Mehar Karey...