Ranjeet01

Interesting you use the word "settle" and you prove my point exactly. For most men, they do not really care whether their potential spouse is a lawyer or works in a supermarket. The biggest factor is that they are young and pretty. Education for women is status related. Women always want to raise their level.

The problem is the management commitee. Leamington Spa in the Midlands is the equivalent of Hounslow gurdwara in London. These are uber ambitious greedy sociopathic types. You need to tackle these people where it hurts and that is in the pocket. You tackle them by focusing on their businesses and you drive them out of the commitees.

Unfortunately, the thirst of sex/lust from some men is so much they are willing to do anything.

Treating women as equals does not mean you put them on a pedastal. However, the quotes in SGGS made by certain quarters also mean that a woman having a pass to their behaviours because of the ability to give birth. But this quote is used as a stick to beat men and accuse them of misogyny. The flaw of this is that women cannot use this against other women.

There is a peculiarity amongst Jatts. Even though they are lower on the ladder in the caste hierarchy, Jatts do not feel inferior to Brahmin and Khatris. Jatts, even Hindu Jatts do not follow Brahmin authority.

There is a term used for army veterans who have seen a lot of war, it's called "thousand yard stare". There is a term used for women who have been with a lot of men, very similar to the phrase above.I'll leave you to figure it out.

For diaspora Sikhs, there is less stigma marrying out of traditional caste, there is a new caste system taking place based on profession and income. Women always marry up. A girl working in a supermarket earning 15k a year can marry a boy who works as a lawyer earning 80k a year. A girl who works as a lawyer earning 80k a year cannot marry a boy working in a supermarket earning 15k a year. She will want some earning more than her.

That's hypergamy for you!

I wonder what the reason for this dynamic is. I think it is probably due to the fact Khatris and Ramgharias are more likely to be self employed than Jatts. I think that being self-employed gives a certain higher status, because you business owners do have more money than employed people. Status is important for women. If marrying a kesh turbanned Sikh maintains or raise their status then they will marry them. When girls/women marry they tend to be very pragmatic on their choices. I would not pay too much attention on the "jo likhia sanjog" malarkey that is spun by the bibian.

I know that we are told that we should not judge people on their appearances but when I saw her picture/selfie in the car, it sets off a red flag for me. The woman clearly has narcissistic traits. She has what they call "resting bi*** face"

http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/02/madoff-jewish-affinity-fraud/460446/ New phrase I learnt today. We can relate to this with our fake pakhandi baba and dodgy gurdwara commitees.

Well there has been a narrative that has been pumped out for several decades of how Islam is the fastest religion so it drowns out other things that may be happening. All that is happening is that as muslims interact with the mainstream society they will be affected by mainstream things just like everyone else. At the end of the day, strip the Islam element and muslims are just people like the rest of us.

Communism has had played a big factor in Central and Eastern Europe.

Because we live in a society defined by the Abrahamic framework (ie Xtianity and Islam) where numbers matter.

You are making the assumption that Europe is a Christian society, in fact with most Europeans it is a post Christian/ irreligious society.

What is interesting about this article is that it tends to be educated Muslim women that consider marrying non muslim men. I think men and women marry for different reasons and Islam or no Islam, muslim women are still women and will marry for female reasons. The more educated a woman is, the standard and caliber of partner will be far higher. With these women, it seems the muslim male is not good enough for them.

Women by nature tend to be more exogamic than men.

Well, Poland is a fairly homogenous society where there are very few non-white people. I recall of a few Sikh men that went to Norway and mentioned that blonde,nordic women went crazy over them because it was very rare to see a person of colour. I suspect that a Sikh man/Punjabi male is seen as an "exotic" beauty by these women.

That I cannot say but the Polish girls do go to the gurdwara. The children are often bilingual in Polish and Punjabi. I have also seen their offspring with kesh.

If it muslims marrying out, it is more than highly likely that the non muslim spouse converted. In the muslim case, it is more likely to be muslim male-non muslim female. The only time you would see it the other way around is the Muslim female's family is "progressive",but the tendency is for the non-muslim male to convert. That won't be the case with Hindu. It is more likely to be hindu female - non hindu male. With Sikhs, the majority of Sikhs marrying out (it seems in my estimation), is the freshy Sikh with the Polish woman. With established non-freshy Sikhs, or 2nd Gen, 3rd gen Sikhs it is probably more likely to be Sikh female-Non Sikh male. However, in some of those cases I have seen the non-Sikh male become Sikh (in fact they are far more into Sikhi than their spouses, keep kesh and dastaar).

One of things that make me question the article is that as a child, you tend to be quite happy and content for the most part. In some ways, children by nature show the 5 virtues (daya, santokhi,sat,pyaar,nimrata) more readily but as we get older and we experience life, the baggage we pick up the 5 vices. Perhaps in some ways we get programmed in life to let the 5 vices over-ride us and Sikhi helps to de-program what we have been conditioned in Maya. Maybe in terms of Sikhi, being happy and content is a human's default state and we strive to get back to that state.

I am across this interesting article and just wondered if this rang true in Sikhi context: http://www.deanabbott.com/happiness-is-not-your-natural-state/ If I look at this from a Sikhi standpoint, does this mean that the 5 vices (krodh, ahankaar, lob, moh, kaam) are a natural default position as human beings and that to get rid of these vices in order to get to santokhi is a choice? Your thoughts please.

A man’s hands say a lot about him. My own father, at 66, still has the calloused, gnarled hands of a guy who did competitive weightlifting in college and spent much of his career grappling with 1,500-pound dairy cattle as a large animal veterinarian. I, on the other hand, have the soft palms of a modern-day desk jockey. My hands are delicate, well-moisturized, and prone to blisters if I spend too much time in the garden. And I’m not the only one. A new study in press at the Journal of Hand Therapy (yes, a real thing) finds that millennial men may have significantly weaker hands and arms than men the same age did 30 years ago. Researchers measured the grip strength (how strongly you can squeeze something) and pinch strength (how strongly you can pinch something between two fingers) of 237 healthy full-time students aged 20 to 34 at universities in North Carolina. And especially among males, the reduction in strength compared to 30 years ago was striking. The average 20-to-34-year-old today, for instance, was able to apply 98 pounds of force when gripping something with his right hand. In 1985, the average man could squeeze with 117 pounds of force. Now, there is a caveat here. The participants in the North Carolina study were recruited from college and university settings, so they’re not representative of the population as a whole. If you were to look exclusively at young adults who never went to college, for instance, you might get different results. The 1985 study wasn’t nationally representative either. It was built using volunteers from an area around Milwaukee. Many of those volunteers in the 20-to-34 age range were recruited from a university setting. The North Carolina findings generally comport with what other research has shown. For instance, a 2013 study found that children today are less physically fit than they were 30 years ago. And the grip strength numbers reported in the North Carolina study are similar to numbers reported in a nationally-representative sample of adults the same age, although the two studies are not directly comparable because of differences in methodology. In the North Carolina study, the differences over time were least pronounced among older millennials (ages 30 to 34), who squeezed with 11 fewer pounds of pressure than men in that age group squeezed in 1985. The biggest deficit was seen among men ages 25 to 29, who could only grip with 25 pounds fewer force than their forebears. Modern-day men’s deficiencies in pinching pressure were less pronounced, but still observable. Grip strength isn’t quite the same thing as benching 200 pounds or doing a set of squats. But researchers have found it to be a great predictor of a lot of other strength and health related outcomes. So it’s a useful proxy for overall muscular strength. Millennial women fared much less worse in the study. Their average right-hand grip force is roughly the same today as it was 30 years ago, at about 75 pounds. Millennial women between 30 to 34 actually squeezed much harder than their forebears did, coming in at 98 pounds of force compared to 79 pounds in 1985. But this was offset by decreases in strength among younger millennial women. Wonkbook newsletter Your daily policy cheat sheet from Wonkblog. Sign up To look at it another way: In 1985, the typical 30-to-34-year-old man could squeeze your hand with 31 pounds more force than the typical woman of that age could. But today, older millennial men and women are roughly equal when it comes to grip strength. So what’s going on here: a crisis of masculinity? A mass-effiminization of the American male? Not exactly. The biggest driver, as alluded to above, is likely changes in Americans’ work habits. In the 1980s, men were more likely to be employed in jobs involving manual labor than they are today. Less daily physical activity means less overall strength — and incidentally,more weight gain, too. The study doesn’t show the same decline among women partially because women were less likely to be doing jobs involving manual labor to begin with, and also because women’s labor force participation has increased since the 1980s. Changes in women’s daily physical activity over the past 30 years appear to be much less drastic than changes for men. And those changes are reflected in these measurements of strength. This all may have implications for the current generation’s health outcomes down the road. Grip strength is a strong predictor of mortality in later life. If decreases in grip strength are reflective of an overall trend toward less physical activity, we may start to see that show up in changes in male life expectancy. Already, American life expectancy numbers are starting to plateau and decline. If these strength numbers are any indication, we might expect life spans to shrink even further in the coming years. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/08/15/todays-men-are-nowhere-near-as-strong-as-their-dads-were-researchers-say/?postshare=2961471268717870&tid=ss_tw-bottom I would say it is the same with Sikh/Punjabi men also.

It's a shame that JKV has not commented as I think she has proved the exception. She's a example of a Sikh woman who has married a non-Sikh and I believe has brought up her children as Sikh. Maybe more Sikh women should be like JKV.