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dontcallmebhaji

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  1. questions: how many boyfriends have you had? If yes, were they sikh? If no, then what were they and why have you changed route to a traditional path? Are you the last roll of the dice? do you like to work, will you go out to work and support the husband EQUALLY? do you swear? are you a calm or violent person? what type of car would you like to own? If she says Porsche,Ferrari, Audi TT etc...... attention seeking, look at me type of girl. do you drink?, do you smoke? if she has older sisters don't believe a single word that comes out of their mouths! look at her sister husbands, that could be you in a few years time! look at her dad. If you don't like what you see RUN and don't look back. As that will be you in you in 30 years time. Lastly, Say you don't believe in divorce but if you find out she has lied, you will make her life hell, and thats just the beginning. No violence! im not joking with this post, be serious and leave no doubt about what your expectations are from your future wife. Don't be a fool and ask for ridiculous expectations, remember one day you will have daughters and your future wife will have major influence on they way they will be raised. You will also have sons and if you don't respect your wife they won't respect women!
  2. This is a time when your parents should be getting closer to you and helping you to sort your problems out, if they really are problems. It seems to me you lack self esteem. EVERYONE goes through this, but how we tackle it is what makes us who we are. Stop saying you have failed and look on the positives. You can change these so called friends with new ones and rejoice on what you have! Pick yourself up,get your head straight,find a job (don't stop looking until you find one, or enrol on a course that suites you and not the norm) take care your health, and learn to trust your own instincts. Parents can only do so much. And never doubt your faith by wanting to kill yourself.As for your Dyslexia..... GET OVER IT! looking at your post your quite clever for a dyslexic. Don't give up. you have the ability to change and remove these negative friends from your life. As for your family saying you will never get married, can i ask if there happily married? They see you have a good heart and potential to be better then them beacuse you have what it takes. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to become a stronger better person. Lastly please fight back, don't just absorb all negativity that is hurled at you. Its not what where about. We don't dish rubbish out and certainly will not accept it if its thrown at us.
  3. Look at the media and see how sikhs are portrayed as drunken,jokey,clowns in most bollywood films. Then look at our own bhangra industry and see how sikh girls are portrayed in them! They all like a good drink, a dance and plenty of male attention. These low life's brainwash our boys and girls! They get close to the sikh boys so they are seen as trustworthy to the sikh girls. Some of our girls have taken the DCS song ek gore chitte jatti menoo kiss karage as gospel! How many muslim girls do you see in these videos? The biggest bhangra label is owned by a muslim! The TV station which promotes the majority of the bhangra songs is owned by a sikh! Our boys and girls are growing up thinking this is what were all about....... Our boys and girls need to be educated. That comes from mum and dad and not the bhangra video! Muslim boys are taught by their dads and their priests what to do. We need to concentrate on our biggest wealth, our children. All these bhangra gigs and promotions are perfect for the muslim predator. They go out of their way to learn aspects of our religion and twist it to use against vulnerable girls and boys! If our children feel vulnerable its because things at home are not good so they are easy prey. If an apna has deceived an apni, she will feel let down and resentful, if a brother/sister asks for help and is laughed at they will feel resentful. Gur Gobind Singh Jee put in place the 5Ks but also stressed the 5 Vices /Dukhs which we must teach. He new his people then as he knows them now, protect your family,educate your children and pass your Silkhi onto the next generation, which will be your biggest triumph in this life. When you send our sons and daughters out to school etc, tell them if they want to learn religion mum and dad will teach them or they can take them to the Gudwara. Win the respect of your children and let them confide in you. kill these stereo types created of our men and women as drunks and easy going party girls. I don't see many videos of successful sikhs acting as role models. Muslim men expect their wife or wives to be virgins otherwise they are rejected, ask your daughters why? Also ask the girls if they would like sharing their husband with his other wives as they can have more than one. And if an apna wants to convert for his muslim girlfriend ask him if she will allow him to have more than one wife............. One thing which is mentioned is that guru nanak said we are all one, there is no muslim and no hindu. Which is correct, but the predators use this against the girls. Teach our children about what the muslim religion has done over the centuries and what their prophets did! EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN............KAUR WILL ALWAYS BE KAUR............... & SINGH will always be SINGH...... And if you see a fallen brother or sister PLEASE put your hand out and give them support.
  4. Please be strong.Your boyfriend needs to win them over and assure them that there girl will be looked after,loved and above all respected. Your happiness is what counts. The caste system is still ripe but a new cast system is appearing in the west, University graduates tend to get married to University graduates etc,,,,,,,,, All your parents will think about is what family members and the community will say. Believe me they will say plenty but after a bit of time they would have forgotten. The other route is one of misery and regret. You can listen to these so called do gooders and marry someone else of your families choice. This will lead to other problems. Like do you come clean about your boyfriend and how serious you was about him. Or do you keep it secret, in which case its a ticking time bomb waiting to explode! Be honest to yourself,marriage its the biggest decision you will ever make. Simple rule is two people love one another, they raise happy confident children, who will want to carry their sikhi forward. Be strong, be honest and speak to your parents or get both sides to talk to one another.
  5. THERE IS NO TWELTH GURU AND NEVER WILL BE.......... GURU GRANT SAHIB JI IS WHAT WE SHOULD ALL FOLLOW, ANYONE CLAIMING TO BE THE 12TH GURU IS DILUTING OUR RELIGION AND MAKING IT WEAK AND THUS LOSING RESPECT AND CREDIBILITY...... THESE PEOPLE PREY ON PEOPLES IGNORANCES OF OUR RELIGION........MORE GENERIC SIKH AWARENESS TO ALL OUR YOUTH...........As you can see i am quite passionate about this.
  6. THERE IS NO TWELTH GURU AND NEVER WILL BE.......... GURU GRANT SAHIB JI IS WHAT WE SHOULD ALL FOLLOW, ANYONE CLAIMING TO BE THE 12TH GURU IS DILUTING OUR RELIGION AND MAKING IT WEAK AND THUS LOSING RESPECT AND CREDIBILITY...... THESE PEOPLE PREY ON PEOPLES IGNORANCES OF OUR RELIGION........MORE GENERIC SIKH AWARENESS TO ALL OUR YOUTH...........As you can see i am quite passionate about this. well said bhaji
  7. Some of the comments by these so called sikhs are disgusting. The girl has done nothing wrong.She told her parents and rather than be happy for her and accept the situation, they are trying to destroy her life. Ask yourself if she does not follow her heart. Her family will ask her to keep this a secret. She gets married to a nice jatt boy, whose expectations of arranged marriage are his wife did not date. The girls secret will come out eventually! Then yet another divorce or better still a loveless and miserable marriage full of hate and regret. And if you decide to have children all there going to experience is two un-happy parents. They will obviously appreciate their religion and heritage, NOT! Ask yourself who is looking out for you, your parents are just thinking of themselves very selfishly. If the boy was muslim i would have a different take on the situation............just can't do it! We ask ourselves if sikhi is dying and the answer is obvious with some of the posts I've read today. We divide ourselves and then outsiders use our weakness against us to divide us even further.....why do we attack each other if there deemed a lower cast. In the western society i can't help but think we are reviving the caste system and encouraging it. BUT this time too slightly different rules, a Doctor can only marry a Doctor, a Businessman can only marry a Businesswoman, i hope you get the drift. Marriage is built on trust and respect............those two things will lead to love and everything there after will fall into place. People please wake up. If you decide not to marry your boyfriend please be honest to anyone your parents introduce you to, otherwise it will end in disaster.
  8. I appreciate this is some what common in other communities but with us it seams to be worse. Divorce is more of a sin on the woman and she is practically banished from the community ,an apni goes astray just once, she and her family has a black mark against them, gudwara can't agree on what to do amongst themselves, not being able to trust your fellow brother and sister because you think they may be jealous of you, your relatives in india always trying to con you out of money, the list goes on and on. I go to a lot of childrens sporting events in my local area and see people from all walks of life but to this day on i have never seen a Sikh Grand Parent,from both sides of the marriage, cheering on their grandchild. No one say this is cultural and traditional because these guys meet up at funerals ( preferably not their own), weddings,religious ceremonies etc........
  9. If a male had done something similar would we be taking much notice? One important thing that has been mentioned and that is having a positive role model ( Male and Female) for all our community. I see young sikhs everyday with their Dastaar and No 1 trimmed beards, and when they preach Sikhi, i turn off. Its just hypocritical. Its these sort of images and hypocracy that is pushing our youth away. Its as if they expect immediate respect because they have a dastaar. It just dilutes the values of the true men and women who wear their dastaar with pride and dignity and follow their religion with such passion.
  10. I'm unable to open the link but this is common so called apni bashing! The last thing this girl needs is to be judged and critizised for making a mistake, and we all make mistakes. How many of our girls have we lost because we lost because of these scenarios. She should not be ostricised and pushed even further away from her religion. Ask yourself what made her go down this route and how her friends and family can help to come back into the fold.
  11. I thought trolling was ilegal? Honestly its this type of ignorance that saddens me......... scream,shout,swear,mention other gods and even mention the word retard & then make up stories to add drama to your post.......the list goes on........ you can't be sikh, what are you a infiltrator? Your nothing more than a coward who has nothing genuine to offer............best stick to your pub politics as you obviously have no respect for anyones views or opinions........ in fact a rat has more substance than you! i say again Gurbani is a source of strength and courage...........
  12. we should all be proud to be sikhs, its this attack mentality that i dislike. A bit like a pit bull! Can we not have a civilised conversation and speak openly and honestly and maybe sometimes agree the other person is right and build on it? How strange would that be........ The fact of the matter is there is way to many chiefs and not enough Indians in our community. For all its faults I'm proud of our heritage and by speaking openly and honestly we can elevate ourselves even further.
  13. I still think we argue and fight amongst ourselves way to much. I see it everywhere, our people trying to get one over on each other and glee in others misery, why? Were all always right, and never wrong. We all have great sayings on how to be good but the one that gets my goat is hypocrites with so called high morals. Don't get me wrong i love my people and very proud to be a Sikh but i too often see our own kind trying to direct each other in the wrong direction.
  14. i can't help but think some people live their lives walking on egg shells. It makes us sound as if were scared to live our lives. Way too many of my friends just absorb negativity and let it fester inside, i say let it out there and then when it happens! People who really appreciate gurbani receive the strength and courage to tackle the problems they face, it makes them strong and confident. Don't hide behind your fears but tackle them there and then. There is way too much talk of karma ........... we are hear on this earth to make a difference.
  15. we create our problems and we can sort them out! Gurbani is a source of inspiration and strength, that will help you tackle your problems and help you make the right decisions. We all make mistakes its how we tackle them thats makes us who we are.
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