Not2Cool2Argue

I wouldnt ruin any girls life like that. Veer Harsharan singh has the right to self defense. Anyone would become angry after the way you provoked him. Though he should stop using the word f*d*

Apology accepted. So...when are u getting married?

The highs and low are expected in this journey. If there are mountains, there will be valleys. If sukh then dukh. If tikeya man then chanchal mann.if day then night. If happiness there will be sadness. That is how this world works. Until youve found yourself, your true self which is atma which exists in sehaj avastha, equipoise, samdrishti, gazes upon dukh sukh, gold dirt, death life as one. Until your true subhav, personality: eternal anand is found, the high lows will remain. But u must not stop the journey, no matter how low u go, if u keep traveling, u will get out of the valley. It isnt bhagati or love or worship to only do simean when u feel like it. Its bhagati when its done when u dont feel like it. On youtube listen to pyare jeo by bhai vir singh also read in search of the true guru by bhai rama on www.vidhia.com

I used to think the english didnt commit as many attrocities in india as the spanish did in america, but i was wrong:

Man not another jagsaw singh, who takes all disagreements as personal attacks. Can you not address peoples arguments without insulting them? And if someone disagrees, theyre not being insulting, they just dont agree, so please dont take offense. I will admit, Akalifauj, that your post to me was pretty decent, but i dont know if its because i keep all personal things private (like my gender, name, affilation) and so u cant attack me with anything or maybe u can be decent. But u did assume that i have western masters and cant read, and only because i think western girls arent all bad means im a slave to western masters. I didnt address some of ur points as u would like so i cant read.....so whos being an illogical, assumptive, generalizing, antagonizing weirdo that likes to insult ppl to start fights?

Alot of it has to do with breakdown of the family, culture, religion, and villages. People who live in extended families and who have their traditional culture and follow religion and who live in a homogenous small community where everyone knows everybody, those places have less crime, violence. As cities increase, multiculturalism increases, strangers are neighbors, crimes go up. Also as more ppl become educated and get jobs, stress goes up and ppl become selfish, so suicide, mistrust, competition. Now that youngsters dont have anything meaningful to do they do drugs, clubbing etc

Treat yourself as if u do have bipolar/split personality disorder: Now the "Im a good sikh" personality is on top. Give it a name Gurmukh/ Babbar Singh/Kuldeep Singh. Ok Gurmukh, i dont know how much time we have before the other guy shows up. I wont be able to control myself once he gets here, so let me put up precautions. First of all, let me avoid the triggers that might set off the other guy: no tv, no internet, no being idle, no freetime. Second, keep ur self busy at all times. Keep ur self in sangat, so that ur bad personality Manmukh/ jazzybains/ kanyewest wont want to show up at that time. But even if jazzy shows up, cant really do much damage, except make u feel restless and want to go home. " man ni lagda" lets go home, dont listen to it!!! Stay there. At home have a schedule so u are not idle, have sukhmani sahib and sehaj paath scheduled into ur day, keep doing good things that will keep jazzy far away. But if u feel him coming, run towards either a friends house, gurudwara, or go talk to ur family. Basically go where theres ppl, and where jazzy cant make u do stuff Third, keep a calendar or list or app to motivate yourself. Like ive gone this many days without letting jazzy win. Im on a streak, ive done nitnem everyday, let me not break the streak! Also if jazzy comes along and tries to tempt u , try to fight him, and when he makes u do things, tell him ok i will listen just wait 2 minutes before doing the bad thing. Only 2 minutes. They say if u can hold off on temptation for 2-3 minutes, it goes away. Sometimes it might get stronger, time urself, see how long u can hold off, then try to beat ur record everyday, even by 1 sec. Also when thoughts come, label them and watch them, like now kaam is trying to attack me. My mind feels like going on the computer to listen to kirtan. Is this a trick by jazzy, to get me to the computer? So avoid it. Im bored, lets go on the internet. "Trick by kaam, to make me fall. Try again kaam" so watch ur thoughts, if u can stop the bad thoughts as soon as they come, bad actions will never happen. Fourth, do ardaas to guruji, please help me im trying my best. But kaam is a big soorbir, i need ur help. Help me like u helped joga singh, i am ur sikh too. Help me. And if u r putting in sincere effort to stop and fight kaam, the faster ur ardaas will be heard

Treat yourself as if u do have bipolar/split personality disorder: Now the "Im a good sikh" personality is on top. Give it a name Gurmukh/ Babbar Singh/Kuldeep Singh. Ok Gurmukh, i dont know how much time we have before the other guy shows up. I wont be able to control myself once he gets here, so let me put up precautions. First of all, let me avoid the triggers that might set off the other guy: no tv, no internet, no taking calls from an adultereress, block her number, change ur phone number, move away into another city, start going to a new gurudwara if theres a chance u guys might meet there, join Khalsa Aid, Peace corps, midland langar or any organization that will keep you busy or might let u go to another country, and let u do seva to increase ur good karma so ur bad destiny of being one of the worst sinners an adulterer can change. Second, keep ur self busy at all times. Keep ur self in sangat, so that ur bad personality Manmukh/ jazzybains/ kanyewest wont want to show up at that time. But even if jazzy shows up, cant really do much damage, except make u feel restless and want to go home. " man ni lagda" lets go home, dont listen to it!!! Stay there. At home have a schedule so u are not idle, have sukhmani sahib and sehaj paath scheduled into ur day, keep doing good things that will keep jazzy far away. But if u feel him coming, run towards either a friends house, gurudwara, or go talk to ur family. Basically go where theres ppl, and where jazzy cant make u do stuff Third, keep a calendar or list or app to motivate yourself. Like ive gone this many days without letting jazzy win. I havent talked to her for this many days. Im on a streak, ive done nitnem everyday, let me not break the streak! Also if jazzy comes along and tries to tempt u , try to fight him, and when he makes u do things, tell him ok i will listen just wait 2 minutes before doing the bad thing. Only 2 minutes. They say if u can hold off on temptation for 2-3 minutes, it goes away. Sometimes it might get stronger, time urself, see how long u can hold off, then try to beat ur record everyday, even by 1 sec. Fourth, do ardaas to guruji, please help me im trying my best. But kaam is a big soorbir, i need ur help. Help me like u helped joga singh, i am ur sikh too. Help me. And if u r putting in sincere effort to stop and fight kaam, the faster ur ardaas will be heard

I dont think so. They say daler mehndi was a kirtaniya, but he gave that up and became a pop star, gayek, because he said he earned more and got more respect too than as a kirtaniya. He said he was treated like a lowly servant before. Im glad kirtan is in so much demand, that kirtaniye can demand that much money. We r willing to pay pop stars that much but not ppl whove dedicated their whole lives to raag? Ofc if he charges too much, dont invite him. Guruji ended the tradition of formal kirtaniye, and taught us all kirtan, and there are many youngsters who can do kirtan in the uk. Invite local kids to do kirtan. Also many famous kirtaniye live in the uk, like Gurbir Singh, Hazara Singh scotland, and many jathas that do better kirtan than maninder singh raagi: the lost strings, Qi-rattan, tav prasad jatha, etc. Invite these local ppl. Some of them even know how to do kirtan on puratan saaj, some on guitaar, and they have beautiful voices. Though guru ji taught us all kirtan, ofc the ones who can do it better will be in more demand, and so they can charge more.

If u told ur parents about the skin condition, they might back off of getting u married in india. Also they might help with treatment. Also make sure u are honest to the vichola or the groom. When things arent told and ppl find out after marriage, there are alot of problems. So tell ppl about ur skin condition, but to answer important questions u might have to consult a doctor. Ppl will want to know is it contagious? Is it genetic, will u pass it to the children? Wat is causing it, will it worsen? Will it spread to your face? So take a day off work and go to the doctor. Also think about telling ur parents. I only see good things happening if u tell them. They might stop rushing to get u married off. Also, one way to convince ur parents to choose someone from the uk, is to tell them that the indian guy is marrying just for the visa and there have been many cases where the indian guy will get citizenship then leave the girl. Also many indian guys r drug addicted, but will lie about it.

Check out gurmatbibek.com Try to talk to your sibling and tell them all the negative consequences of kaam and porn, ( u might have to research this but its addictive, ur tolerance levels go up, its basically like a drug) if u read stories of ppl who r addicted, their lives are horrible, u can search up some stories on this forum, but they might be explicit. If ur sibling gets mad and says none of ur business, then u could threaten to tell ur parents. U dont have to tell, but u can scare ur sibling from stopping, if they r younger, then u could impose rules like i will check ur phone n call logs Also do as much extra paath for this sibling. And ardaas that guruji saves them from this destructive obstacle in life. This willhelp alot, slowly but surely

I think the "be a human being first quote" is ppl praphrased when guru ji said Na koi hindu na musulmaan, when coming out of the bein nadi. The quote is sort of true, because we r supposed to belive in days before dharam, so kindness before religion

We celebtrate it cuz it is a new year that matters in our life. We go to a new grade, our ages go up, etc so we wanr gurujis blessings for the new things coming. Is that so bad? Also ppl can celebrate both new years, more paath at gurudwara

That is insulting. She called u paji a respected brother and u paired her name up with someone? Anyway, wat ur trying to defend is wrong. Everyone in this forum would be glad to say indian girls are better. But sadly they are not. Have you not heard the stories of of indian girls getting married, waiting for citzenship and then running away? And certainly rural girls are not better. When my american cousin went to india, the neighbors girl in the pind, convinced her to get a boyfriend. The pind Gurudwara has a school for boys to learn santhiya and katha. And thats who the neighbors girl got my cousin into contact with. And this is just one incident but since girls now go to schools, go learn sewing, beauty parlor, and other things the pind girls have alot of chances to misbehave. And they r motivated to misbehave due to drama serials, bollywood, and other bad girls. There r good girls too. Like one girl i met who said she would never refuse an arranged marriage because it would be a daagh on her dads pagh. But theres no way to tell who is good or bad. Thats the point. Just being from a pind in not enough now to ensure ur moral character. The only way to make sure is that u know the family. Like ur dads friend vouches for this other family. Even then be careful of vicholas. Basically in arranged marriage the parents should make sure that the pair is compatible and to do that u must know both of them. So yes lots of marriages r happening between close acquaintances: 1) ppl want to help ppl they know come to the west instead of strangers 2) less risk if u know the ppl So in my family, 2 marriages happened where a guy from my nanas family married a girl from my nanis family

Tea has been banned in akj n taksal since the 1920s cuz the tea leaves were given tamaku (tobacco) di 'poth' ਪੁਠ i dont know wat it means. I think some part of tobacco was used in maybe drying, cultivating process. As soon as that was discovered back then, it was outlawed by sikhs. I dont know if the tobacco thing is still used today

@OP i think the main reason ur parents want someone from india is that she will be more likely to live with an extended family. Most modern girls want their privacy, own place, and will see the in laws as interfering, criticizing burdens instead of as helpful, advice offering, sometimes annoying responsibility who r still family. Secondly, they do want a wife that is dependent on the husband. That way she will be less likely to divorce over trivial things, and will be more likely to be a housewife and stay at home mom. Most modern uk women would not want to give up their careers to stay at home. And a stay at home mom is really important to raise kids in a traditional, healthy way. Thirdly, i think there are very rare families who raised their daughters like ur parents did in the uk. Ur probably the only one in uk. In america there r some familiws that r as strict as urs complete with no internet n picking up kids from school. But still rare. Most tend to be strict taksali families, i think akj r more modern, more english speaking at home too. Maybe some very misogynist, traditional panjabi families r the same, but most panjabis that r not amritdhari r pretty lax.

Congratz! Hopefully everything works out. But if hes willing to change and put in his best effort, so should u. Please dont go into this with 'i hope he does mess up' mentality. This shows that the younger generation doesnt see divorce or seperation as a big thing. Divorce/seperation should be last resort. Please overlook small things, and focus on the big changes he is making, and be supportive. Its not easy giving up alcohol when ones addicted. Put your best effort into making this marriage work. Divorce or living on ones own or with parents isnt easy and will get tiresome. So please dont think of marriage as trivial, try to save it. Help each other out to becoming better human beings and sikhs. Thats wat marriage is about. Ignore each other faults and try to focus on good things. (Faults ofc dont mean violence)

Baba Banda Singh's admission that his torture was his punishment for his deeds cannot be taken as admission of wrongdoing. In fact it just shows how wise and humble he was. He was asked by Furukhsheer if u r a Godly person, and belief u r following the right path and religion then why r u on the losing team and why r u being tortured? Furukhsheer basically wanted him to covert to islam and agree that Allah was on Islams side. Baba Banda Singh gave a beautiful answer which stumped Furukhsheer as well as showed how he was following Bhana. Babaji said that Guruji is being kind, he is letting me finish off my karma now, my job was to give justice, but as I am not antarjami, I could not fit the punishment to the exact degree of crime, I may have punished ppl more or less than they deserved and also in war, wrong ppl r killed, there r innocent casualties (ofc i am paraphrasing n think this is wat he meant) so my torture is paying off the debt. This answer shows that he would have been meticulous in his pursuit of justice and fairness. Also his back story of killing the does children accidentally and giving up all weapons. But I agree with you. We r acting like snobby nitpickers. This person cant be a sikh, eww, he did that?!?. When they actually gave their lives for sikhi, we r labeling them anti-sikh.

Cremations are haram or against Muslim religions, so preventing Muslims having cremations was a kind thing....but u prolly meant the opposite that burying their dead was prevented and cremations were enforced. As to symbolism of the rise and fall of Banda Singh there are many theories. 1. To prevent ppl from thinking of Banda Singh as the next Guru. He was only to punish dushts, free people, and then leave the world. 2. The outside reflects the inside. The world is an illusion that your minds reality affects. So as long as Banda Singh was guru oriented and saw the hand of Guruji over his head, he was victorious. But (according to some accounts) as soon as Baba Banda Singh became mind oriented, conquering land oriented, he would start losing. So this teaches me the Guru doesnt care about sikh raaj, he cares about sikhi ideals. The Guru would let a kingdom fall, a successful rebellion crumble, and let evil win just to teach his sikhs a lesson in humility. To make sure his sikhs are fit for sikhi, fit for heaven. 3. There could be more reasons, who knows gurus leela

U might want to contact syf sikh youth federation in canada. The youth there started their own gurudwara. U can contact them online

About being able to afford bills, depends on how much donations u get, which depends on how much sangat u get. Usually when a gurudwara is first opened, u have to ask for donations in the hundreds or thousands from rich members to pay off mortgage. So the first thing u will have to do is buy or rent a place. Then clean it up. This will cost money so u will need to get a loan. Lots of gurudwaray get a loan without having any idea how to pay for it. U can ask local gurudwaras if they have an extra saroop. If not then u can wait until sgpc sends alot of saroops at once. I think u can contact sgpc in india and ask when that will be. Also announce in local area that u need a saroop. Some ppl ask guruji to come to their house but then cant do sewa, so they might give u the saroop Just some tips tho i have no experience with starting a gurudwara

I dont know what ur planning to do now. But u did mention that u dont have money to get your own place. So i would say research your options. Look at women shelters, government help in paying rent, government housing, benefits, welfare, contact help organizations like sikh helpline or other domestic abuse hotlines, and look into getting a better paying job.. Im not saying you should move out, im saying u should be aware of your options. So if one day u suddenly do have to be on ur own, u will know wat to do and wont end up on the streets. I think you should call women shelters and ask how long they let u stay for free, and how long for a reduced price, and how much is the full rent? Also look at the cost of getting ur own place. Then u can calculate how long u have to stay at the shelter to save enough money to get ur own place. Also see if u can move to another shelter if time runs out at 1 shelter. Also check out homeless shelters, gurudwaray might have places to live, tho usually these r for men only Basically have a plan a, b, and c. Also start saving ur money, stop spending it towards house, grocery spending. Look into nearby hotels,inns,motels to see where u can get a room if u ever need one. Plan for everything. Also if i were u, i would tell my husband straight out that if he beats me up again, im calling the police. You dont have to call the police unless u want to, but hopefully he will think twice about hitting u again. Lots of punjabi men where i live have stopped hitting their wives once theyve gone to jail for it. It might or might not work for u.

Can u post the whole shabads with meaning on here? That would help intrepret

Darshan piyaasi dinas raat. Chitvo andin neet. Khol kapt gur maeliya. Nanak har sang meet. Any shabad thats ur favorite. U can do.

You have to decide. Would u rather be sad and beaten up your whole life or be talked about? And if u leave him, will u live with ur parents? And will ur parents support u or give u a hard time? If u have a job, then u should think about leaving. If u dont then u have to see what will happen if u leave. Will u be able to get remarried? Will u be able to live with your parents forever? So think about getting a job anyway, because if he is seeing other girls, he might divorce u. Also, if u cant leave him, then u can try to change him. Maybe calling the police on him when he beats u up will help? Get your own room for gutka sahib? Also do lots of sukhmani sahib de paath and do ardaas that guruji there is noone to help. My parents say i must endure this. His parents dont help. I have only you, please help.