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Not2Cool2Argue last won the day on February 19

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About Not2Cool2Argue

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    Jap Man Satnam Sada Satnam

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  1. Take a hukamnama. Ask Guruji what is the next step for you.
  2. See? Alcohol is so powerful even nihangs need fear of sangat to not overindulge. And u accept grihistis who are under so much pressure and stress and with no sangat to be able to handle alcohol all by themselves? Please realize that behangams (celibate, non-working such as Dera taksalis/nihangs and nanaksari babas) sikhs have a different maryada than grihistis who have jobs and kids to take care of. And also just cuz its historical doesnt mean its right. The british recorded nihangs drinking alcohol. Cuz it happened. Not cuz the nihangs were right in drinking it. Why do u think nihangs were kicked out of harmandir sahib? Singh sabha had evidence about how bad they were behaving. And they used that evidence to rile up ppl afainst the nihangs.
  3. I am really glad you are doing better. That you know your worth and keep striving everyday. What you said about no one having the time to listen to ur priblems and emotional issues, really resonated. That is why in these times therapists and counselors are such high paying jobs. People need to pay someone to listen to them and just offer sympathy. Used to be what families and neighbors did for free. About your hukamnamas. You should take heart that they are positive. That there is hope and Rabb is on ur side. But the hukamnama does not mean that it will solve things instantly. It takes time. Like they say, Rabb de Ghar Der Hai Per Haner Nahi. Meaning it takes time but God doesnt abandon ppl who believe in him. Also your adaas is pretty big. You not only want your husmand back but stronger and more into naam. That will take time. He has to fight his anxiety, relatives, doubt etc to become a better person. So now that you know, that the outcome will be positive, but you dont know how long its gonna take or when its gonna happen. What will you do? You can either have faith and say God has said to me again and again that my marriage will be saved so i will believe him and not torture myself with imaginings. Just have faith and try to enjoy life. Or you can keep being in doubt and keep asking for more hukamnameh, which you wont believe and will keep taking new ones. And be in unsettled stressful mindset. All will be well. God has stated. So why not enjoy life. Leave the hows and why to him Our mind is tricky. It wont be quiet and restful. So try simran and meditation. And try CBT, which is cognitive behavior therapy that if you control your thoughts you can control your behavior. For example, if you stop having sad thoughts you will stop crying and being depressed. So what you do is whenever a negative though comes. You push it out of you mind and refuse to think it. And take ur mind to other directions . You can also wear a rubber band and snap it on your wrist so that it hurts when negative thoughts come. To train your mind not to go there.
  4. A russian doctor who was teaching us biology said yes theres a lot of studeies saying alcohol in moderation is healthy. But he says if u can ever avoid starting alochol its best. I think the moderation key is for alcoholics. For example, imagine the study is done in France. Where lets say everyone drinks alcohol. They find out ppl who drink only 1 glass ornless are the healthiest. So they start saying alcohol in moderarion is very good. But what if, its the least amount of alcohol thats good. So i think the studies are trying to day drink in moderation. Not to start drinking. But this is all assumption. I would need to look at the study methods. Plus i have only heard red wine is good. And that because it uses red grapes and so has antioxodanta. Which u can get from the grapes itself. Otherwise alochol is a posion our liver has to detoxify. And thats why most ppl get hangovers from excreting the waste, which wastes water.
  5. Its hard to predict. On one hand, sharam is the basis for dharam. And sharam is completely absent in the western liberal mindset. On the other hand, if sikhi is to become global and to have an impact, we need to get with the times. Western sikhs have more of an impact and reach. Like bhai jagraj singh and 3H0 and sikh awareness society. They can provide solutions to modern problems like depression/ill health (yoga) and grooming (awareness) and relate to younger audiences. While the old sharam dharam ppl are barey surviving, can barely keep their families on the right path and are sanctamonius and judgemental. Have the keep to urself attitude and are always in a defensive position. Not ppl u can rely on jn panthic matters like grooming etc. But at least the parents are doing their duty and raising kids who can speak panjabi and are dharmi (moral)
  6. Set a routine. Tell him he has to build a schedule that includes amrit vela or u will. The minimum things u need to include are: Have sleep time at 11pm. And And pull the plug to the internet or the xbox. If ur kid still doesnt listen and turns these things on again. Flip the fuse, and turn off electricity to the whole house. So less talking and yelling and more actions and consequences. Like go to bed, its 11. Then if he doenst listen, dont say anything just pull the plug etc. Also give ur kid some goals. Like do santhiya of japji sahib. Or so sukhmani sahib daily or to read a panjabi book. Also give him some chores. And get him to learn some skills like tabla guitar martial arts, or fixing things. Or coding. But more importantly give him 2 or 3 hrs of freertime so he can play on his xbox. Then have family prayer time. Like 6 am and 7pm. Everyone has to get together and do paath and simran. That way you can see it. Dont be too harsh. Let him kinda relax and do fun hobbies but with structure and routine in the day.
  7. You can workout at home. Besides yoga apps there are lots of home workout apps. Also try juggling. Its challenging. Gardening. Learning to cook food from many different countries. Weightlifting. Try to become muscular. Also swimming. Then u can branch out into diving, snorkeling, surfing. Musical instruments. Learn the piano. Mozart beethoven etc. Theres also dilruba ribab sitaar. Tabla. Voice lessons Learn coding. Web development. Stock market. If u know knitting. You can try to sell stuff on etsy or ebay. But u will have to make sweaters and scarves. Things ppl will buy. As for being interesting. You can watch documentaries. This will make you uptodate on current issues and problems. And will let u know abt the world and the different ppl with different problems. For english check out this channel: Her other videos are good too
  8. Have u heard of the law of attraction? Being filled with anxiety, anger, and disappointment just brings more negativity. You do need to let go and relax. But the more you try to force being relaxed the harder it is. But at least you know what works. You said going into nature helps you. So try to do that as much as possible. Also try sukhmani sahib. If done with concentration on the meanings, by the end of the whole paath you will feel much better. At first mind is chanchal and restless but by the end it is shaant in peace. Also try not to worry about the past Sant maskeen singh in his katha said that the past, what has happened is hukam. We need to accept it. When anger comes just be like what has happened is done. Think of the future. And i can make the future better because I have Satguru ji on my side.
  9. i dont think so. You have to remember that most artists were trained from birth in their families and were part of guilds. So they were taught certain symbolism and metaphors. For example even poets when they want to say something is beautiful they compare it to a moon or rose. Power with the sun. War with kali. Wealth with lakshami. It was cultural symbolism. Even though the western world became Christian, they did not abandon the age-old symbols of Greek and Roman dieties. They named planets to spaceships to beauty products after artemis, ares, apollo. They use them to describe and inspire themselves. Like she is athenian in wisdom. Instead all the myths became part of higher education in humanities and arts.And most famous poets used these symbols again and again. Just because people read Classics like Homer and Illiad and the Odyssey, does not mean they believe it or worship it. So to be sophisticated was to he educated enough to use these symbols. It was art. It was myths. People and especially the sikh misls and sikh infantry units adopted these as symbols like coat of arms. Not to worship them but as metaphors for their qualities like ruthless, brave, strategic. Also guilds had these symbols. So if u wanted to show that ur sword was made by the best swordmakers or artists, you displayed their signatures proudly. And these signatures were usually dieties that represented those jobs. Like carpenters had the God of woodworking. Poets and scribes had Saraswathi. Also these were ways that the illiterate could find the part of the bazaar related to metals, books etc. Like kids these days will divide them up into teams like Spiderman, batman etc.
  10. There are such cases. But because women are not whining and complaining on forums about it. It is not widely known. Also everyone from parents to society will excuse men. It is just a choice that one person made, it does not reflect on all of us sikhs. But if a women does something, it reflects on the whole kaum, family etc. I know of one case. A kesadhari guy from our gurudwara got involved with a pakistani. The girls family went crazy.They made the sikh guy convert and only then allowed the marriage. That is one case i know of personally, i am sure theres lots more.
  11. Thats why most sikhs aim for darshan then God comes in a human form that you can talk to. And ask anything. Otherwise God exists without a form. And that way we know God is talking to us when he sends us vibes of peace, love, ecstasy and longing. If you say waheguru and ur heart is filled with ecstasy or love then that is his reply
  12. I cant at the moment. But the fact that we can go pesh and panj pyare are lenient if its due to medical emergency proves that we can.
  13. Its totally allowed in sikhi to cut hair for kedical emergencies and get pesh. But alot of elderly sikhs dont do undergo surgeries that require hairloss IF the risk of dying on the table is high. They dont want to die a patit. Ofc we should remember religious tolerance is a great sikhi principle. However we only apply it to other faiths not towards sikhs. Mostly its the liberal or not rehit following that get kn a high horse. But lets all remember we r at different stages of spirituality and we r not the ones goint thru that problem. Who knows if we would be strong enoygh to do the right things.
  14. Are you Gurpreet Kaur that was here many years ago. And took amrit against the wishes of your parents? You used to have a lioness/kaur profile photo
  15. I don't know. I can so see the Punjabi police and delhi govt saying that about us Sikhs and treatment of young innocent amritdharis during encounter '90s years. Also probably what the Mughals/afghans said about us too during the 'sell a sikh head' days.
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