jkvlondon

err...what you are proposing is what the scumbag musalleh do ...don't go there ...Don't get married unless you are fully in that's just disrespectful to do otherwise . If you are in Uk and the west you have something called a common law wife and she will have similar rights to legally married women especially if kids are involved . In our people the women are also used so don't make it a one-sided thing , the punjabiat daaj eating machine is in full flow everywhere.

you forget the aam loki in the fields and villages they will fight for their lifeblood , tubewells going down 26 metres to pull water is ridiculous and unsustainable . AAP is saying this is the oppportunity that Badal and his mates are looking for to trigger president's rule so try to keep calm and don't get provoked into bloodshed , negiotate , fight it legally, internationally. Fact that Haryana already has access to more water than Punjab makes it clear they cannot steal more , (they already receive free donations of our water too). Delhi and Haryana need to look at water conservation and not stealing more water. We also need to invest in nontoxic farming which conserves water . solar water stills etc .

orthodox are more like jews in that they don't do the missionary thing , jesuits/RC are the most aggressive after the baptist/evangelists again the protestants are trying to gain 'souls' empire building like the islamists .... totally mental Waheguru doesn't hand out brownie points for forced conversion or even freewill conversion ...

Bhen ji , you child will have better sikh sangat here in the Uk than in India and more chance of learning about sikhi too. Your husband needs to take interest in his duties as a Dad otherwise he is going to never be loved and respected by his son

think about just how they were treated, they died in their thousands and those who were the priests/ medicine men/ shamans who could give them knowledge of the faith and culture were killed thus no guidance ...it's easier to overwhelm the people then . That's why it is important to have each and everyone gianis of our granths and shastar masters so the knowledge is spread throughout the network (like the neural network of the brain ) so if some are lost others can still cover the gaps . RC is not christianity it is the disguised Roman empire ... using the christian doctrine's appeal to land and wealth grab.

I think perhaps it was a spitball which was ultimately rejected because she managed to get her feeling across for that . Bhenji seems more than a little chippy ...my feeling is the whole root is her own reluctance to speak her truth gently and in a timely manner . I have had what others have described as nightmare inlaws but we still have a good husband wife bond because I acknowledge that NO ONE picks their folks it just comes in the package , and he has his feelings of love and duty just like I do so sure we both support each other in doing sewa of our folks and I will put mitti on his parents nonsense to me as it only hurts him - they feel no remorse. My own Deor (lived with us 2 years) cannot get head around why I treat them so well when they are so nasty to me - Gurmat sikhiya and the desire to honour my husband's goodness . If most wives and husbands thought this way they would have a much more smooth journey.

ingenious = clever or indigenous= of the land, native .... RC conversions were done at the point of a sword after massacres upon massacres and enslavement...at the time RC church was after the gold so didn't care it's all very well sitting on top of a pile of booty to say sookhi sorry They were forced by circumstance of possible onwards march towards Rome to defend else they were quite happy to ignore the local problem.

1. if you are the infant's mother then of course he is not married 2. why are you getting so angry about the relationship between son and mother ? it was the two of them together for decades before you were even a thought in their minds and it only right a child will want to look after his parents to return that love and care he/she received as a child . It's call a debt of love something you will look forward to in the future yourself. 3. Why did you get married ? was it to be the controller of your husband or his partner and equal? 4. what have you been deprived of ? you cannot expect people to understand what you haven't said . 5. I think you need to lose that immaturity , it will not serve you as a mother , both sets of grandparents have an input to the grandkids upbringing but usually the ones nearest and most willing will do the work . Perhaps your folks may not want the responsibility of the day to day looking after of an infant , some grandparents just want to play a little and then return to Mum when the crying starts (that's the truth) just because they are your parents doesn't mean they are not immune to these kinds of feelings/behaviour . 6. the crux of what you told us was you are unhappy , because you will not speak to your husband about your feelings and do not trust your mother in law to have your baby's welfare at heart , for what reason you have not elaborated beyond my husband thought it would be a good idea to send my son and his grandma to India for a few years . You cannot say the things you said and not expect people to say your are being competitive with your MIL for husband's loyalty because that is clear, your words betray your insecurity about many things and your passive aggressive nature . Grow some spine and accept that maybe you don't need to be so harsh in your judgement of your family members , yes THEY ARE YOUR FAMILY - it is also your husband's first child . 7. you cannot claim respect when your words sound bitter and disrespectful towards your husband ...

I am the mother of four kids , and my in-laws are from a totally different culture and mentality , they have tried their utmost to break up and interfere in our family life , and even 21 years on they haven't changed . I can see a first time Mum struggling with the idea of going back to work first of all , then a girl who is unsure of her husband's love ...a tip from my own life , if you have a loving family member willing to look after your little one you can be relaxed about the nightmare scenarios that play in your head plus it will be much more enriching for all involved . I was working in the city at the time so I can relate . I was lucky that we lived near my Mum when I had my first but when I had my twins we had moved far away and so know how I was too worried to leave them as infants with a stranger (that was one of the cons on my list apart from the cost and the possibility of them picking up bad habits from others). Another plus with your MIL looking after little one is you can tell her to expose baby to kirtan and gurbani rather than nursery rhymes and silly tv programmes and she will not mind if you ask about fine details of the day unlike a paid sitter. The thing with marriage is this- you set the tone , if you are submissive and weak your partner will get used to that and run things to his benefit only , and you will be dissatisfied because you will feel unheard. Kaurs are meant to speak up if something is wrong and if you cannot do this with the person you are supposed to be partners with you will end up creating a situation where he thinks everything's is hunky dory until you explode and then he thinks wow she's crazy what did I do that was so bad ? Sure it will be out of your comfort zone to speak up initially but with time the truth shared will allow both of you to be closer and understand each other . Judging from his ideas he really hasn't got the concept in his head just how stressed you are about being away from your child - you need to talk to him and set him straight . Maybe this will help him be more aware and sympathetic . Anyway life is what you make of it , if you forget Gurbani and Guru Pita ji's sikhiya it can make it unsurmontable but if you remember and keep Guru Pita ji's advice in your mind and heart life's troubles will not get to you . Maybe you need to recite 'Ja tu mere val hai , ta keha mushande' on a daily basis to build up that understanding. p.s. you didn't decide to become a mother as a favour to your husband or his Mother ,Guru ji blessed you with a child ...get the attitude straight for your own sake -gratitude always, haumai never

cmon because it was kundalini yoga , honestly I do not know any other stream of yoga which exposes yoginis to gurbani ....do you ? Arguing for arguments sake is silly

remember this is a royal comissioned painting and he was mona by this point so this more like a victorian fantasia on the supposed costume of the sikhs . His own father's dastaar was small and simple ...

yep , Rani Jindan didn't sit down to tea with the firangis, she was totally blind when she met her son again and discovered his kesh de beadbhi by touching his face and head . She was alone with him at that meeting and in those few minutes her words cut him to the soul and he became a sikh again.

he didn't get anything from gorey he died in poverty in Paris

have you ever stepped into her shoes once ? imagine bringing up your only son by yourself , then seen him safely through the teen years to adulthood when he marries and has a family of his own . I'm guessing you are not living with her due to the horror you express (WHY? ) so she gets to see her son sometimes and now she has a grandchild the reward of the years of faith and work, a person to invest her love without the real heavylifting of her youth. Would you be happy if someone told you that you are not fit to look after your grandchild ? that you should not have a close relationship with your only child anymore ? granted Your Husband was being unrealistic about sending his child to India but it didn't happen did it? HE LISTENED TO YOUR CONCERN. Waheguru ji sent your child in this world for a reason and it was NOT to be a tool for emotional tug of war /blackmail , your SEWA is to show him the world through the eyes of gurbani and through good ations and thoughts which he will pick up from you . Do you think he will not understand the hate/dislike you show towards your suss and that in turn wont colour his mind? If you want a good relationship with your child DO NOT interfere with any blossoming relationship with his family members because in the end you will be paid in your own coin. Your insecurity speaks volumes , you are just envious of the possibility of another being loved as much as you . But Bhenji when you loved your own Dadi ji and Nani ji was it exactly the same as your Mum or different ? Think about how irrational your fears are, you are his mother and therefore the one who should be able to see that the Child is not yours but Akal Purakh's , he has blessed you with the sewa of bringing up and protecting this child's sikhi. He already has Guru ji's protection and companionship as long as you teach him to do naam jap and be a good human . We are not superstitious that any one shabad is a magic spell to create a 'gentleman' it is the collective accumulation of naam and rehit that does that. When you got married the sikhiya may not have been given so as an older sister I will tell you , your suss is the same for you as your birth mother and the family members in your new home the same status as those in your birth home . Whereever Guru ji sends you in life you are to take naam da aasara always, and speak and act as a daughter of Guru Pita ji : where there is ashanti, irka, krodh, te kalesh you will spread Gurbani di roshni and tandak, in your darkest moments remember Guru ji's charan and do your ardas for help Guru ji is always angsang.

her background is white privilege so not really surprised by the highhanded attitude but if she considers the gurdwara her father's house she should show respect not krodh

he was prepared to become a worker and wanted her to be a regular wife , but I guess that didn't appeal to her so much .

Iranian had a thriving literary scene , heaps of artists and scholars , highly musical people also but then they had the invasion of the ignorant fanatics who declared their way was the only way and thus the suppression of literary classics . found this site perhaps a stepping off point for learning ancient persian https://www.fluentin3months.com/persian/

if you never cut down a tree how were you going to do construction , clear dead trees etc etc ...a lot of rehitnamey were iffy and had elements of hindu mat brought into it ...which was contrary to what Guru ji taught us.

problem was Singh's family wanted her to be grishti mentality and be with the family but she wanted to be free spirit and nomadic... just a mismatch of expectations

when it's kirtan the message is clear , parrvaangi ... and to carry on the sikhi because our bazurg want us to not be hung up on the perceived loss but put our efforts towards achieving our life mission- what bigger sign of love could there be ?

because her bio mentions her exposure to sikhi via yoga ...

the pictures of akalis are great but much has been said about twisting of things to make a santanist arguments about sikhi

I went through similar loneliness when my father passed , although everyone said he'd gone home (including avasta wale) I couldn't process that small niggling doubt despite the things I saw and heard the night he died , also on his funeral . It only came when I hit my lowest point with my in-laws and just rejected everything of life mentally , I was surrounded by the shabad kirtan that I had last heard as a small kid from His LPs like someone had switched on a radio , no one else could hear it , then I realised his message that he was home , that I needed to tend to my sikhi and to not lose hope . Messages come in all forms.

I'm sorry if you feel I said something wrong but my immediate sense was 'stop worrying, he is home now ' when you talked about your grandfather , and the image I got was he is trying to stop you from worrying or being sad about him and to get on with your life , to use your potential for good. It's time now ... no more sadness and regret