Wicked Warrior

As above, the important thing is they are both amritdhari when they marry. Parents don't need to "arrange" the marriage - there needs to be mutual consent between the parties. If he can wait until she is blessed with Amrit, then I don't forsee a problem.

I used to find missiri helpful before singing. As above, practise, practise, practise.

"always been told that whatever happens, is for our good and everything is done by Satguruji" So what seems to have happened is that you found out that this person was false before marriage, rather than afterwards. You would have probably had to live with this "horrible" man for the rest of your life, or you would have divorced him at some point. Instead, Guru Ji has saved you from something far worse. It's like escaping with a papercut when you should have had your hand cut off. Give thanks to Guru Ji and ask for assistance in finding someone. Life isn't going to be perfect - there will always be ups and downs, but let Guru Ji be there to assist you at each step.

Sometimes you'll get a nudge in the right direction and sometimes you'll get a huge kick up the backside to show you the right way.

Unless he has done a bujjara kurehit, why would Guru Ji turn him away? Instead, his mind has turned him away from Guru Ji. Go, with humbleness and humility in one's heart and ask forgiveness of the Guru.

I agree to taking Guru Ji off the premises. When Guru Ji was in human form, no one would dare treat him like this. But because they see a "book", they fail to give the same respect.

"Early hours of the morning" What about in those realms where there is no such thing as morning/evening? If you go to the north or south poles, it will either be daylight for twenty four hours, or night for twenty four hours. When is "amrit vela" then? Much in Sikhi seems to have a "superficial" aspect and a "deeper" aspect. Example: naam could just be Name/God's Name, but there is much more to it than that. Similarly, amrit vela, superficially, refers to a period in the early hours of the morning of a day-night cycle, but it goes beyond that, which is what harsharan is talking about. Similarly, seva can be seen as "helping others", but it goes beyond that. To the OP, start off with things like helping out in the Gurdwara and then going beyond that. One could argue that when the Guru, in his ninth form, gave his head, he was doing seva to the Kashmiri pandits.

I find it frustrating and disrespectful too. Most people go to the Gurdwara but they don't see Guru Ji, they see a book and hence prioritise themselves over it. If Guru Ji were sitting in human form, you know everyone would be silent and obedient. Similar reason why people follow other humans (eg Sants, Mahapurkhs) - because it's easier to focus, see and listen to than to Guru Ji. It's not just women, but children are free to run around, cry and shout and scream.

Alcohol isn't part of Sikhi but it does seem to be part of Punjabi culture. Consequently it seems to be more acceptable to drink. The only drug to be intoxicated with is Naam.

Guru Nanak himself said if you want to be a Muslim, be a good Muslim abd if you want to be a Hindu, be a good Hindu. He didn't dismiss them as being false. Religion is a way of life. If you do it properly you walk similar paths. You don't have to be in a religion to walk a path to God but it's supposed to be easier if you have someone to guide you.

MIght be due to planning permissions etc. You can't just put a building anywhere - it has to be agreed on by the planning department. Further out might be better in that it's away from pollution/noise, can build a biger gurdwara/more facilities etc. I agree that gurdwaras should be in the centre of their populations.

I think there's a real chance that the two of you could mess up your cousin's life. In your shoes, I would step back in terms of contact and dissociate from him. If it comes out that he had feelings for you, it could impact on you negativelg from family. As others have said, he's basically telling you he has feelings for you and wants you to reciprocate. The problem is the outcomes: - you reciprocate but he has to marry her anyway - bad news all round as everyone will know - yiu reciprocate and he marries you instead - cousin may/may not be happy - you say you have no feelings, he marries cousin - he may work at it and it may be successful or it may make things worse and they break up. In all cases, the one who will get hurt is your cousin. It depends on how you get on with her and how far advanced things are. It may be worth talking to him to make him realise what could happen ie he divorces and ruins her life. He really needs to decide whether he wants to marry your cousin or not but it needs to be independent of you ie he makes his decision not based on his feelings for you but his feelings towards yor cousin.

The human conscience has a great capacity to absorb. You could find that in ten years' time, those things you hate become things that you like about him. Or you will have accepted him for who he is. Or you may still hate it. It may help to elaborate what you like and dislike about him and maybe we can help put it into context.

The consensus is partly about how you see yourself. They could have put British instead of giving the options of English/scottish/welsh. The options are there. Have you been a naturalised briton?

Not amritdhari but I used to go out to pubs and clubs with friends. Never drank alcohol/took drugs/smoked tobacco. Danced, perved on girls, it would be fun for all of about five mins. I realised fairly quickly it wasn't "me". It didn't feel right. I realised that I wasn't enjoying myself because I didn't drink/smoke. I didn't enjoy myself because I stood out. I wore a turban. I was already different. This is what Sikhi is - you don't conform to society's standards. You conform to the Guru's standards. Sikhi isn't about rules and regulations. If they were, like muslims and the koran, there'd be a huge list of dos and don'ts. Sikhi goes beyond that.

The timetable should be a guide. Some topics will take more time than others. Arranging your environment is important eg clear desk, no distractions etc. You need to discipline your mind so it becomes used to working. Easiest way for me was to split my time into one hour blocks. This meant 45-mins of work, followed by 15-mins rest. It gives you a time span so you can motivate yourself eg ten more minutes until break. The break helps you rest, recover and ready yourself for the next session. Start off slowly and build up the pace, like a horse - start off on a slow trot and by thetime of the exams you should be going full gallop. Forgot to add, diet/exercise and bani are all important. Eat walnuts and almonds daily. Go outside the house once a day for 30 mins.

Such angry thoughts are great in times of battle and war, but in more peaceful times, it needs to be brought under control. You say you cannot even meditate on Vaheguru. Say it loud once. Then again. It will become easier. Then start to internalise it. It can be done. You can train yourself to command anger through Bani.

As above, diet is important. I've found saunf to be useful but not brilliant. A healtht body is important in Sikhi for maintaining a healthy mind and spirit. Guru Angad Dev Maharj taught us this, so ignore what others say about this issue not being related to Sikhi.

There is very little religious teaching to youngsters. I was lucky enough to get a few books on the Sikh Gurus when I was young and this kept my interest in Sikhi going. I had no desire to go to the Gurdwara - it was meaningless. I could have fallen asleep or stayed at home and it would have made (almost) no difference. I was matta teking because I had to, not because I wanted to. Efforts need to be made from both family (who usually aren't bothered) and from the Gurdwara. The problem is that kids are generally ignored. They are the future Sikhs and if they lose their way, there will be no Sikhi in the future (or at least not the way it is/used to be).

If you really need to access facebook etc, then do it in your breaks. Use this weakness and turn it into something to help you. Do 45 mins work and then take a 15 min break doin whatever you want. That's a one hour block. Keep working like that and it'll be easier. During those 15 mins, it's better to step away from your work area, listen to relaxing music, do some simran, and then get back and work. But if you must, you can spend those 15 mins on FB.

For muslims, all things in life are either halaal or haraam. Even vegetables ans water is halaal. If I said your tap water was halaal, would you stop drinking it? I agree with not eating food blessed by muslims, but realistically the only thing you need to worry about is food containing meat/meat products.

All life has a an innate desire to survive. It is only the human mind thay causes us to cease this desire. Humans are fickle - one minute we are strong enough to survive and conquer the world, the next we are fed up of living and want to die. If you can conquer your mind, you will remove such imbalances. As above, even if you are homeless, continuing simran will be of more benefit than trying to burn through sins by killing yourself in each lifetime over and over again.

Maharaj teaches us to "return good for evil". Do not try to be high and mighty. Do not try to show up the other person. Be respectful, courteous and do not backstab. Lead by example. Whatever that person has done, through karma, will be punished.

As above, there's no reason to rush into marriage There is no shame in marrying from India. There's no shame in learning to read/write/speak punjabi. It is a stepping stone to learning Gurmukhi and understanding it. You have desires in your mind about what YOU want to do, who YOU want to marry, etc. Some sants can see into the future, your path etc. Certainly Baba Mihan Singh Ji knew my parents were going to marry each other weeks before anyone else did. Maybe the are various paths for you to take? Maybe by marrying a woman from India, you will travel on the righteous path? On the other hand, your whole life could be in ruin. As above, speak to the sant. Ask if you can do your studies and get a job first before marrying. Asking (rather than telling) is a more respectful way to approach this. Explain what your wishes are. If they are truly saintly, they will let you walk your own path.

The biggest issue is doubt. You have doubt or you would not be posting on here. In the end, you don't know who he is. There are people, many thousands, who marry their partner and then realise the partner is different - they've changed (for the better or worse). Some may co-habit for decades before marrying and are still surprised. Go with Vaheguru in your mind and heart but don't go with eyes closed. There are too many alarming things. Either find out more, explore and analyss, or step back and let go.