sikhni777

I think your blogs been very inspirational. It has made this month very exciting. I have tried to make few changes in my life too and tried to see what I may be doing wrong. I'm sure whoever else may be reading it has been doing the same. Can't imagine life without a daily blog. Don't tell me I'm addicted now !!!whatever you choose to write got to come from the heart though.

Bhaji those lot you mentioned can only be sorted by dharamraj. Pray you never ever meet those. Seriously they are egotistical and lost. Nothing enters their heads. They can take you down with them. In my opinion if the same man was married he would have lesser partners than if he was single. Think of the sins of the catholic priests. Guru ji saved us from those by telling us to live a gristi jeevan.

Rangeele jiba har ke naye. The first effort has to be made by your yourself... then follows so rang rangile har har dheyae When Waheguru inspired me to start saying Waheguru then I just had to put a full stop on this sentence and go and do some simran. After the simran session, it was Waheguru's meher that he gave me the strength to have this thought of remembering Waheguru. Be thankful for the Waheguru inspired effort which happened in the first place and pray it keeps happening.

That can be because it is easier to fall in sin when you remain unmarried than when you marry. YOu do not go to hell because you did not marry, but because of your sin which are more likely to have committed because you did not marry.

ਫਰੀਦਾ ਮੈ ਜਾਨਿਆ ਦੁਖੁ ਮੁਝ ਕੂ ਦੁਖੁ ਸਬਾਇਐ ਜਗਿ ॥ फरीदा मै जानिआ दुखु मुझ कू दुखु सबाइऐ जगि ॥ Farīḏā mai jāni▫ā ḏukẖ mujẖ kū ḏukẖ sabā▫i▫ai jag. Fareed, I thought that I was in trouble; the whole world is in trouble! ਊਚੇ ਚੜਿ ਕੈ ਦੇਖਿਆ ਤਾਂ ਘਰਿ ਘਰਿ ਏਹਾ ਅਗਿ ॥੮੧॥ ऊचे चड़ि कै देखिआ तां घरि घरि एहा अगि ॥८१॥ Ūcẖe cẖaṛ kai ḏekẖi▫ā ṯāʼn gẖar gẖar ehā ag. ||81|| When I climbed the hill and looked around, I saw this fire in each and every home. ||81||

O. K . Bhaji I have never heard a word like that before. So you agree he was pure before he became evil or he was both pure and evil. All people are pure and evil. Yes banged it on the head!!! You are right!!!!!!!!! Only God is great. Only God is pure. Only God can forgive over and over again even when he has told us again and again in Gurbani that Karodh is Evil. Get rid of it. All people are a part of God. They are the way God wanted them to be. Just think of it... the thousands and millions of sins we have sinned against God. He warns us and we sin again. He stays around us looking down on us and waiting until we realise our mistakes and repent and promise to try to see God in everything. He tells us hum nahi change bura nahi koi. WE don't listen. He still forgives us. Asi khate bhohot kamavdhe ant na paravaar. WE have sinned so many times and he still forgives us. Not once but millions and millions of times. He still gives us his name. He still gives us air to breath. He still gives us a body to use. He is still taking care of us. he is still talking to us through people in Sikh sangat and telling us Karodh is evil.... man it will not harm the person who you are directing it to. It will only harm you..... It is harming you... It is harming you real bad. You cannot get rid of it alone. You need to look into the goodness of God and ask him to help you. You have to see how God forgives people millions and millions of times. You have to let Waheguru into your heart and heal you. You need to do chaupai sahib dha path and burn away this feeling. SGGS And 1381 ਫਰੀਦਾ ਬੁਰੇ ਦਾ ਭਲਾ ਕਰਿ ਗੁਸਾ ਮਨਿ ਨ ਹਢਾਇ ॥ फरीदा बुरे दा भला करि गुसा मनि न हढाइ ॥ Farīḏā bure ḏā bẖalā kar gusā man na hadẖā▫e. Fareed, answer evil with goodness; do not fill your mind with anger. ਦੇਹੀ ਰੋਗੁ ਨ ਲਗਈ ਪਲੈ ਸਭੁ ਕਿਛੁ ਪਾਇ ॥੭੮॥ देही रोगु न लगई पलै सभु किछु पाइ ॥७८॥ Ḏehī rog na lag▫ī palai sabẖ kicẖẖ pā▫e. ||78|| Your body shall not suffer from any disease, and you shall obtain everything. ||78|| It is for your own good that you have to forgive him. We get angry when we keep burying negative feelings like those inside us. Just think of it... the pure guy will possibly be leaving this world before you do. He was possibly only trying to get rid of his frustration and possibly does not even remember what he said to you. Forgive and forget... for you do not know what horrible sins you may have committed in your past lives. We are here to repent for our past sins and rectify them. Our aim is to become one with Waheguru and you are totally deviating from your aim. My mum in law got angry with me for waking up from the bed and giving her the phone when I had just had a caeserean operation and could not even get up. She told me such heartful words as Do not call me Mum again and we engaged in a word battle with all my bitterness on her coming out. At the end of the day I have managed to forgive her although because of my weak state and her anger and frustration and thanklessness towards me could actually have taken my life. So please forgive them for they do not know what they are doing at all. Even Jesus on the cross - when he was killed by men - said to God... please do not hold it against them for they do not know what they are doing. Forgive others and God will forgive you. Choose health and positive thoughts. Pray only prayer can help you.

Thanks bro I'm a sis. You have made the thread even greater. Or Waheguru has made the thread greater through you.

I think you need a break. Some time off work perhaps 2 weeks will do you good. However you have to choose the best place on earth to go to. The most peaceful and the most divine place I have ever been to is Mani karan sahib in India. However that means you have to travel to India. If you want to join some jatha that will be the best. There are yatras all the time. You will get the much desired company and support you need. It will take your mind off things and give you the much needed peace and you will be with the most positive company you can get. (that will give you some positive place to spend your money on too) It could be a life changing experience too. Another highly recommended place is Makindu Guradwara in Kenya. You will get the opportunity to do seva as well and the most positive company of Giani Jis and other visitors too. The accomodation there is free. There will be nobody to judge you there. It will allow you to get in touch with your inner self and refresh you from all the negativity you seem to be facing at the moment. If possible, I think you should be looking into this as well. I am positively sure you will come back a totally changed person.

Found this link and it may explain it all http://www.sridasam.org/dasam?Action=Page&p=1136&english=t&id=110473

Perhaps we have had a lengthy discussion on mama's boys. There is a new trend which greatly affects some people. This is when girls refuse to get married and want to live in their parents house. I have come across so many stories where the girls just don't respond to boys when approached for marriage ( through their parents of course.) 1. A Sikh guy confessed to my husband that he is so afraid of getting married because all these girls you see in the guradwara wearing chuniya are totally the opposite in uni. Their parents just dont know what is going on. 2. A lady approached a relative of ours and asked him to go and pose as a builder and ask her daughter through trickery why she kept turning down all the rishte. She replied that she was leading a first class life with no morgage to pay, no expenses, cooked meals and no tensions. Why should she step into all those problems. That is why she kept turning down rishte. 3. One of my nephews was so frustrating with the inability of getting a life partner because all the girls insisted that they are not willing to give up their drinking and partying habits. He was literally crying ( I mean in tears because he has now been working for a number of years and wanted to settle down). He firmly developed a belief that this generation is lost. It is the next generation which is going to learn from the mistakes of this one and marriage will become easier. These are the girls who will learn from their mistakes and try to rectify them in the future generation. (You can only loose the way so much. It will finally catch up with you and you have to turn back and make the relevant changes) The times ahead have changed and probably people dont realise it until you need to get married - that girls are just not available. Mums are steeped up in fashion, work, high life, pleasures like clubbing, drinking etc that they have completely forgotten to instill values in their children especially the girls. So a new word maybe coming into the vocabulary soon - papa's girls or mama's girls. These are the girls who are now dragging the boys down with them. Some Sikh boys will confess that they would rather marry someone from another religion because there is a better chance that they will try to understand the turban wearing guys better. 4. I have been approached by 2 different ladies on 2 occasions or more where they confide in me that their daughters who are aged 30 and above have simply refused to get married. However they believe that some guy somewhere may be able to change their minds. They have requested me to suggest someone. These ladies must be totally distressed in order to come and confide in a complete stranger. These particular girls had their own houses as well. The ladies told me that housing would not be a problem for anyone who wanted to marry them, if only someone somewhere could be found !!!!!!

Habits can make or break a person. This change happens slowly without us realizing it. Then one day all of a sudden we stop to think and wonder - what went wrong there? Developing a new habit can help you keep up with things. A new habit has to be a conscious thing. That means you need to have a goal to achieve. For instance you want to loose weight. Therefore you will start to eat healthy. When you start a new habit you will automatically drop a bad or less healthier one. The purpose of this thread is to make us aware of the good habits floating around. So this thread goes like this GOAL : weight loss When I started drinking black tea then I left drinking tea with milk. GOAL: Spiritual awareness When I started reading Sikh sangat I stopped reading mumsnet GOAL: Healthy Eating When I started eating beans on toast I stopped eating paronthe. GOAL: Controlling anger When I started praying regularly I stopped shouting and negative talk Please share and lets learn what others are doing too.

Some times we get stuck with some thought and keep clinging to it like mad and can't let go. Perhaps that's what's happened here. I will let you know if I manage to get your point in the future.

So how old are your sons. You seem to be doing a wonderful job.

Its Gurbani my dear - was not me who put it in my head in the first instance.

I have not changed my belief and I feel evil. Therefore I am trying to find a reason to start to support it. (How come I got left out when people started supporting it) Moreover the lady who mentioned end of the world to me was a very amrit dhari lady with great karni. That is what is getting to me now. I seem to have missed the point but I dont know where to find it from.

God exists all the time. He is everywhere. However we still get immersed and lost in our problems and forget him. God is in everyone, but we forget about that because we cannot see him everywhere. We can only see him in our mind. We can only focus on him on our mind. Bhagti will help to install in us the feeling that God is indeed everywhere and in all people. This is when we will start to act - like everyone has the spirit of God in them and not want to hurt them. If we can become aware in our mind through bani that God is everywhere then we will be able to attune and pray better. We will be able to remember our prayers better.

Yes experiences are to God's grace. We desire a lot more of many other things. I dont mean that we should focus our bhagti and take a stand and to just want darshan only and nothing else. If this would be what I am trying to say then the title of my post would be Lets demand darshan - and get a reward of our bhagti. What I am simply trying to tell you is that God is real and exists and he can be felt by our insides. What we simply have to do is to keep up with our efforts and our bhagti. When I said that we should ask for darshan, it was in answer to a question which was doubting whether we should be doing bhagti or not. The whole episode is not to be focused on just darshan. It is focused on us being aware that there is a beautiful powerful God whom if we turn to and pray to now - at the end of our days or if Waheguru wills it - when he decides to offer his darshan it will be a very beautiful experience.

By more progress - I mean to develop a deeper faith in God such that you can be more attuned to him when you are not actually in the Guradwara. If we just relied on listening to shabad kirtan in the Guradwara then it would not be enough. If we did simran at home too and read sakhiya and listened to tapes then when we go to the Guradwara we will be more tuned in to God.

Some years back - I heard a lady talking about Dasam Granth and the end of the world. She said that a Giani Ji did a very good katha on that part. Unfortunately he was murdered because people did not support him( the government) and were against him preaching more facts about that. Does anyone know anything about that? Does the Dasam Granth actually mention anything about the end of the world? The Quran and the Bible have got long verses written on it. What stand does Sikhism take on this topic?

It is because the desire for genuine seva is less and the desire to show off to others and put them down is more.

A problem shared is a problem halved. There are so many problems in the world that everybody experiences. Not everyone has a happy family, you just have to adjust to it and play your part in being part of the family. Maybe if you can share your problem you will realise that others are going through the same too. It will possibly stop it being the focus of your mind and you can possibly get on to concentrate on other things. I personally think that your mother would be the happiest person on earth if you told her that you intend to quit drinking and drugs. I think she will be able to provide you the much needed support which you seemed to be craving for earlier. However her ability to do this for you can be getting drowned into this main big problem which seems to have overcome your family. Your family will also be an important part of you from now on, if you intend on spending more time at home. It will help you greatly if you manage to develop the right attitude and the right interpersonal relationships in your family too. If I get started on my family............ (and they are none drinkers too ............ you would .. well lets just place a fullstop there now.)

Thankyou so much Simran345 for this link. I have now understood better what happened to me about 20 years ago when I thought I was getting strangled by a bird in my sleep. I think I need to look into my sleep patterns as that is what is causing it - and a lack of sleep too.

This was the answer to mistersinghs question. No you have not missed anything. He was asking why bibiya are so obsessed with darshan. This shabad was to point out that darshan is a Gurbani inspired concept. The shabad was written by Guru Arjun Dev ji. When the ladies perform satsang - there is a selection of shabads they read. Many of them know the words off head. This is one of the shabads which is very popular with the bibiya. That is what i meant to say, in regards to this shabad having inspired the idea of the bibiya mostly ( and not men) wanting darshan. Few men go to satsangs. In fact in a ladies satsang they are mostly ladies. The shabad is read in the Guradwara as well where there is mixed gender sangat. It is a popular shabad. So no you have not missed anything.

God gives us his blessings so that we can keep occupied with them and keep satisfied. It is like when you want to do something or want some peace - then you give your children some toys to play with. When your kids rally need you then they will start to cry and distract you. If we are satisfied with what God has given us and we are peaceful then fine. There are however some people hungry for more. Wanting darshan is hunger. JIn kou laghi peyaas Amrit sei khaye. It is only those who are thirsty for Amrit who will be driven to drink the Amrit. If you are not hungry for Naam, then you will not do simran. If you are not hungry for Amrit then you will not go and drink it. If you have drank naam and drank Amrit and you are still hungry then you will want darshan. You will only want darshan if you have drank Naam and Amrit and you are addicted and you know some more is available. I you get darshan - then you will want darshan - because you want to go deeper into the experience. God just exists - Nanak vigsae veparvaa. In my opinion he is not running around and being distracted and going out of his hukam to give darshan. I think darshan is an elevated spiritual state where you are able to experience the presence of Waheguru. It is getting closer to your main goal - which is the union to God. The earth is a dharamsaal where you come to earn what rewards you will receive later on. That is why seva has been created. It is to attune the mind and body to performing some service which will in turn purify your soul. That is the goal of sadh sangat too. That is why we have been told to earn our own living and share it with others. We are here to purify our soul using our bodies. It is not easy to just purify your soul if it did not have a body. That is why devas yearn for the human body. Is dehi ko simre Dev, so dehi bhaj har ki sev. Visiting the Guradwara for a program and giving money for ardas and listening to kirtan - Is good but yes if you want further progress then you need to start doing Naam simran seriously. Just another question Bhaji - would you please define for me what hukam means according to you. This is because I asked some Giani Ji the meaning of this like 20 years ago. Hukam na keheya jayi..... it means we dont know the hukam of God. So how is it possible for you to know what the hukam of God is?

My answers were all geared to answer your misunderstanding, or rather to point out what I think you may have gotten wrong from the narration. I meant to encourage and spur those people who are only just wondering or thinking about Naam simran but not getting down to do it. For me it was not just an extension to the house. It sort of felt against my whole being. I did not want the extension to be done. Ten years ago we had a tough time trying to DIY the whole house to a livable state. The garden was inaccesible filled with a huge glass house with huge plants growing wildly. The place was cockroach infested. The bathroom was full of mould - totally unhealthy. The first visit and we were all down with flu. I was totally stressed this time, because the situation at home for the last 4 years had been - me looking after my son with no help whatsoever from my husband who had back pain and was struggling with his job which was the cause of the whole problem. I was totally stressed about how he would be able to DIY the house again. The idea of the extension was not to increase house value - but rather to have a toilet downstairs for my mum in law when she visits. I was waiting for my son to go to school while I start a job - or a course - so I was mentally geared up for that and mentally exhausted from having to deal with a very demanding child all on my own. Despite protests from me - the idea was picked up by my hubby. The nightmare began - for that is what it totally felt like. The builders tore down and back of the house and left it with nothing but boards. There was a storm... and it was totally scary being there felt like a shelter in the open. No central heating and the place was all freezing. I had to place my son on the computer and he was totally drugged up from morning til night with watching utube which you will agree is totally unhealthy for a 4 year old. This went on everyday for months on end - until we could DIY the thing. I was on the move having to do a mans job which I dont have the strength or experience for and was getting nothing but swearing and told off by my husband. I had to sacrifice 3 weeks of summer holidays - place my son on the computer to keep him safe and help from morning to evening in the plumbing part of things hearing nothing but swearing and how things were going wrong. Every action of mine was being met with shouting. I had to cook, iron and perform other tasks in the time limit which was given. I was now on the verge of a total mental breakdown. I had the worst things going through my mind - like running away, cursing my mum in law, committing adultery, finding another man to marry and feeling very lost mentally. It was not a cosy type of extension experience where you call people in and sit back and watch the job done. It was decisions and DIY. Finally I could not deal with it - and I gave up telling him that I just cant do it. he can do it himself. I gave up to just save myself mentally. I could not handle it any more. I took a total break of 3 weeks - to recover and that is when reading the book of Bhai Rama Ji gave me hope. When I started to do simran, my whole mental attitude changed. I had renewed strength. I can now stand up to my husband and demand that he talk properly to me. For when he shouts - I feel like I am mentally going to go back to that state again from which I recovered. My own thinking has now changed. I am surprised at how I don't want to say or do anything wrong now. Prayer, shabads and reading sehaj path take the priority over everything else. I still help him - but my mind is now focussed on Waheguru. I am in bliss when I go around performing by duties. I am so glad I found my way - that is why I would like to encourage people to pray. Every little which we do everyday helps build up our confidence, our strength, our intentions, our relationships and our future too. My marriage would have broken and I would be in a mental home if I had not come across the truth. My son would be I dont know where. But now with the kirpa of Waheguru Ji, we are one happy family with the DIY nearing completion and our relationship problems just melted like ice does. I don't even remember the hard times now. I just summed them up with - It was a tough year. Well, I am sure you would agree - and you understand the situation better. Its a great recovery from a mental state which we manage to put ourselves in - because of our ego. This means that we are separating ourselves from God. We are feeling too busy to do his simran. That is what I was for a good deal of the last ten years. I always thought I would do it and do it but never got to do it. The transformation was gradual - and my dreams changed too. I used to have this dream repeatedly about a huge house and something dark force lurking at the end of it. It just scared me. When I started doing sukhmani regularly - that same house was turned into a blissful clean place - where everyone was getting dressed for a wedding. That was the end of the dream of that house. I now feel that dreams are a reflection of the journey of our soul. They sort of guide us or show us our reflection. If what we see scares us, then we can improve it with simran. The constant dreams of the same place with changed atmospheres will be an indication of our journey and will encourage us on and keep us on the path. For who knows when we might be tempted to forget to do simran. Divine experiences keep you wondering about God and help keep you focused on your goals. We always forget that we are souls sent into this world to do simran and to achieve a better future. What we get - the family we are with is all a result of the earnings of the last janam. Let us be inspired to improve them through the word of Waheguru. Hope that sorts out your misunderstanding now.