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Double standards with Dastaar
Guest posted a topic in GUPT FORUMI’ve recently been thinking a lot about Kesh and our society (Sikh) viewpoint on it. I came to realise that when a man dons the dastaar and trims, wears modern clothing, drinks, smokes, etc, it is regarded as “normal”. However, the weight of responsibility to present the best “Sikhi” role model is shoved and expected of females whenever they choose to don a dastaar. There have been many young Sikni Youtubers with Dastaars that have been massively shamed for wearing jeans etc. Why the double standards? Why is it that the Sikh community has become so obsessed with constricting our sisters whilst our brothers get to do whatever they want. This is deterring our sisters from actually exploring Sikhi. This cut-throat, “do it this way or don’t try at all” approach is turning youth away from Sikhi. Why have we lost patience and seek to encourage rather than put down our own Sikhs? In a bid to be fanatics, or to simply be “right”, we are putting off the youth from Sikhi. What are your thoughts?
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Lets suppose that I am a "transgender Sikh" who was originally biologically male but now identify as a female. Lets assume that I receive "Khand Di Phaul", which is the official initiation into the Khalsa Panth. Would I then call myself a Singh or a Kaur? What does Gurbani or Rehat have to say on this?
For the timid Kaurs and denying SInghs
jkvlondon posted a topic in WHAT'S HAPPENING?a Sikh's place is in the vanguard and to wear sikhi throughout their being http://dailysikhupdates.com/Amp/rare-british-account-of-a-female-nihang-warrior/
Female, Amritdharee, Confused And In Need Of Great Help!
confused10 posted a topic in GUPT FORUMWaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji K Fateh I am a young, 19 year old amritdharee female. I am born and raised in a typical punjabi family, however, we all do paath and are well into learning about Sikhi. I am the only daughter in the family, I used to be the girl who was into her, makeup, hair styling(i've never cut my hair) and basically all the usual girly stuff a typical girl is interested in. From a young age I have been attending gurdwara, sikhi classes and doing kirtan on the vaja. In 2013, we had our annual dastar day, where I tied the dastar for the first time and I fell in love with it. When I told my parents that I was considering wearing the dastar full time, they weren't against the idea (both my brothers have worn a keski since birth but aren't amritdharee) but objected by saying it was just a phase I was going through and I would change my mind. I few months later, in January 2014, we had a jatha come for a week and on the last day they were holding an amrit sanchar. During the second last divan, something in what they were saying me touched me so much that, almost 12 hours before the amrit sanchar I decided to take amrit. I am someone who never in my life even considered the idea of taking amrit but I don't know why, but I just felt that I was ready and had to take the leap of faith. I felt sitting in the darbar sahib that night, it was either take it now or never. So next day, I take amrit. I AM THE ONLY AMRITDHAREE IN MY FAMILY AND EXTENDED FAMILY. Now almost year and a half on, I do my paath (timing is an issue - but something that can be worked on), follow my rehat, wear a dastar etc. The first full year, I was convinced fully, and also told others who asked me, that me taking amrit suddenly was the best decision ever and I would never look back, I feel so blessed to be on this path. HOWEVER, for the past few months my confidence has shattered. I can't stop my mind from falling weak to think that maybe I have made a quick decision- one which perhaps I should have thought about more carefully. I do my paath - I love doing paath, kirtan... I wouldn't be able to live without it... sikhi is my identity and one I'm so proud to be a part of BUT! My appearance.... I love my dastar but for the past few months I really miss the old me... the girl who was free spirited, carefree, girly,.. I MISS MY HAIR.. I MISS LETTING IT DOWN .. I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY HAIR!!! (I've never touched alcohol, cigarettes, drugs and I'm a strict vegetarian and have never entered a club apart from wedding functions with my family). I feel so weak when I say that I go to bed crying most nights these days because I feel so guilty that Mahraj knows what I'm wishing for.... to be free. I see other girls who are like the old me, who like to dance, wear makeup, style their hair etc but still keep intact with their sikhi, do their paath, learn about their dharam etc but aren't amrithdaree... I wish I took time to think about it and maybe today I wouldn't be sitting here crying whilst typing this up. My family and friends and my community are so proud of me for the step I took a year and a half ago but what do I do now??? I literally feel that I have no one to pour my heart out to that would understand what I am going through.... I talk to Mahraj about this but I feel like I'm trapped... no matter what I do I'll only bring badness... If i continue the way I am, I'll never be a good gursikh, and if i go back to the old me, I'll dishonour and bring shame to my family- HOW WOULD I FACE THE WORLD... I have never done anything wrong up till date and don't intend to. But when I look at my family, my sisters, my cousins, I see the old me in them- The happy me! I really need someone to advise me, I can no longer sit here with all this bottled inside me... I don't want to be depressed any more... PLEASE someone help me! Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji K Fateh!
On 8th March, world celebrates women's day. Sikh faith was among the first major world religions to imply that women were equals to men. Guru Nanak proclaimed the equality of men and women and all Guru Sahiban allowed women to take full part in all the activities of Sikh worship and practice. So kyo manda aahikye, jit jamhe rajaan|| Read in Punjabi - http://on.fb.me/191nOwJ
This world and most of the religions discriminate between Males and Females - I am OP of this Thread I am a Female..... I question some religions of this world for the way they interpret women........... Buddhism Says: “Women can be the cause of great suffering. If desire is destroyed, there will be everlasting happiness. The dead snake and dog are detestable, But women are even more detestable than they are.” Christianity We can easily find quotations of women’s oppression from the Bible , for example, I Timothy 2.11-12, where it says “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” In Ephesian 5.22-24, Paul says, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as unto the Lord….” And further, “The head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man”…. Man is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of the man.” The apostle Peter says (in I Peter 3.1-2,6) that let wives “be in subjection to your own husbands” and have “chaste conversation coupled with fear.” Judaism Even to this day many devout Jewish men recite in their prayers, “Blessed by God King of the universe that Thou has not made me a women.” Ecclesiasticus is simply rampant with religious edicts against women. According to Jewish tradition, a husband owns his wife as he owns a slave. To this day many husbands deny their wives any control over their property and their earnings. When she married, not only did the wife lose her property, she lost her personality also! Under Jewish law, a husband can divorce his wife any time. But a woman cannot without very strong reasons such as unfulfilled conjugal responsibilities. Worse still, a husband can desert his wife any time and then refuse to grant his wife a divorce. In this case she becomes an agunah – a chained woman. Neither can she divorce, nor can she remarry. In the US today there are maybe 1000-1500 such agunot while in Israel there are more than 15,000. Husbands blackmail their deserted wives for thousands of dollars, finally agreeing to a divorce.“ How is it that Jewish sisters everywhere tolerate this abuse, this persecution – this extreme injustice? Islam Ibn Al-Ghazzali, the famous Islamic theologian said that “The most satisfying and final word on the matter is that marriage is a form of slavery. The woman is man’s slave and her duty therefore is absolute obedience to the husband in all that he asks of her person.” Dr. Nawal Sa’dawi is a Muslim woman who has rebelled against her own religion and its oppression of women. She has written that it is not possible to talk about rights of women, “…since a woman under the Islamic system of marriage has no human rights unless we consider that a slave has rights under a slavery system. Marriage, in so far as women are concerned, is just like slavery to the slave, or the chains of serfdom to the serf.” Marriage is a kind of slavery, for the wife becomes the slave of her husband, and it is her duty absolutely to obey him in everything he requires of her…” Hinduism Young Hindu girls when given in marriage could be abandoned at will. Quoting from Manu Smrti IX.72: “Though a man may have accepted a damsel in due form, he may abandon her if she be blemished, diseased or deflowered, and (if she have been) given with fraud.” Such girls, thrown out by their husbands, led a pitiable life as outcastes of society. Yet Brahmin men were free to engage in debauchery with devadasis any time they wanted! Subscribing to Hinduism means being a “mindless male supremacist pig”! Sikhism Views of the Gurus Guru Nanak Guru Nanak broke the shackles of women by admitting them into the sangat (congregation) without any restrictions or reservations. Guru Nanak felt that his message was meant as much for women as for men. Guru Angad Guru Angad encouraged the education of all Sikhs, men and women. Guru Amar Das Guru Amar Das condemned the cruel custom of sati, female infanticide and advocated widow remarriage. Guru Amar Das also believed that women wearing veils (purdah) was demeaning. The Guru refused to meet the queen of Haripur or to allow any women into the congregation wearing a veil. Guru Hargobind Guru Hargobind respected women and declared, "women is the conscience of man". Guru Gobind Singh Guru Gobind Singh made the Khalsa initiation ceremony open to men and women alike, a woman being just as worthy. At the time of Amrit a man is given the name Singh meaning lion, the woman is given the name Kaur, meaning Princess. A Sikh women is an individual in her own right, she does not have to take her husband's name and is Kaur till her death. Guru Gobind Singh did not see any distinction between the Khalsa, men or women could keep the 5 K's. Guru Gobind Singh issued orders forbidding the Khalsa having any association with those that practiced female infanticide. Guru Gobind Singh also forbade Sikhs to exercise any proprietary rights over women captured in battle, they could not be kept as slaves or wives but were to be treated with the utmost respect. I AM A KAUR NOT A NORMAL FEMALE - I AM DAUGHTER OF THOSE GURU WHO ARE NOT BIASED - I ENJOY KEEPING MY HEAD IN THE LAP OF MY GURUS - I AM NOT HATED FOR WHAT I AM - I AM LUVED TO BE CALLED HIS DAUGHTER - Why should I bow my head in-front of those who think I am evil... :nono: :nono: Yes i will help those in need whether they are muslims/hindus/chritains etc. coz my Gurus taught me to do so.... please keep me away from such people who says I am evil/slave... I am not slave/evil I am a beautiful creation of Almighty. :D :yay: I AM BLESSED TO BE SIKH OF MY GURUS BY AKAL PURAKH :lol2: :lol2: :respect: :respect: WAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, WAHEGURU G KI FATEH
Why I have no female (Gursikh) friends?
Guest posted a topic in GUPT FORUMSat Siri Akaal, I have an awkward question. Why I have no female Gursikh friends? I mean, everytime I am in Gurdwara etc. I see many Gursikh females and non Gursikh females, but I have no real female gursikh friends... I mean, I am not after Kaam or something, I just want for example, in an discusssion an gursikh feminine opinion. I have lot of white female friends . But no Gursikh , I dont´understand why , I mean i am very openminded and love to talk about everything esspcially about Sikhi , Guruji Sikh history etc... So I thought going to a Sister in Gurdwara and try to start a conversation, but wouldnt that be awkward? And again, I am no pervey or something . I am trying to be good gursikh and dont fall in kaam - it is just you know there is something missing - in my discussions with friends.