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Found 37 results

  1. Guest

    Help - full of kaam

    Fateh sangat ji, I am in a dilemma with myself and my Sikhi. I would like to ask a few questions from knowledgeable people on there, both Gursikhs and non, and also get some advice. Please don't just slander me as I don't need that right now. I took amrit aged 15 but then went down the wrong path at 18 when I moved out for uni, but secretly. I started drinking (usually on my own at home), occasionally smoking a cigarette when in the pub low key and I also dabbled in some weed and coke here and there. I did not become an addict or alcoholic by any means. I have always had a major problem with kaam. I got together with my best friend but this was an on off relationship and a distance one due to areas. Mostly based on phone calls, emails etc. I never told her about what kurehats I had done. She was amritdhari. During our last off period which was about a year, she had met someone else. I called her one day to say I still love her and later down the line she told me that she met someone and their wedding was arranged and date set. This broke me and I still wanted us to be together as we always spoke about. Anyway, we met a few times and one thing lead to another. This lasted up until her wedding. She didn't call off the wedding due to being afraid of her parents etc. Now, I was obviously heartbroken and lonely. I have always been a horny chap and with the regular physical activity no longer there with her it was difficult for me. Anyway, I went to pesh and retook amrit but my heart wasn't in it as I could not speak openly to the panj piaare due to time restraints and as one was hell bent on telling me off without me fully explaining all my kurehats. I still done the seva they said but just felt I was not forgiven as everything wasn't disclosed. Then an old friend of mine got in touch but she was married and not happy. It had only been a year since her marriage. We got close on the phone declared we liked each other in all ways and met. Nothing happend as I knew I retook amrit and she is married. I resisted so much for a few years and had several "opportunities" with other friends and colleagues which I didn't do. But being full of kaam I couldn't any longer and had an affair with my married friend. Now, I have disrespected my Guru and Amrit twice now and cant give up sex with her but I know one day I will have to as she cant leave him. My conscious gets to me. Question, will I be forgiven?? I read plenty of bani and do seva. I don't plan on taking Amrit yet because I cannot fall a 3rd time and take the piss so will wait a few years and control.my kaam before going in front of the panj piaare. I need to sort my kaam out. I cant get married to someone I don't love otherwise that would have addressed the issue. Any advice and thoughts? Thank you.
  2. Recently I've started to increase my Nitnem Gurkirpa and for some reason my kaam is going through the roof. It's not like I can't control it like I won't end up masturbating but it's literally taking over my mind. I'm also getting really negative thoughts in general like I'm getting pretty upset regularly and feeling down a lot and even having flashbacks and memories of really harrowing times in my life. It's kind of manageable rn but it's been getting steadily worse over time and I feel like it will get out of hand soon. Does anyone know why this is happening? I literally feel really really vulnerable and it's ever since my Nitnem started to increase to a fairly good amount gurkirpa. Any thoughts from the sangat?
  3. Guest

    Feelig lost..

    Hi everyone. ive been feeling very lost and depressed recently and am looking for some guidance. let me give you some background. i come from a highly respected and religious family (i have sants in my family tree) so my whole family is very religious and amrtidhari. i’ve struggled a lot since starting college. i’ve drank, done hard drugs and have been in a long relationship with someone of a different ethnicity and religion. i’ve lies to and stolen from my parents. i am finally learning to restrain from drinking and drugs, and i no longer hurt my parents. but my biggest issue now is engaging in sexual/physical relations with my significant other. we talk about marriage and i cannot see myself spending my life with anyone else, but i know this relationship would hurt my parents and they would make me choose between them and my partner. how can i break up with someone i truly love becaus it’s not accepted in our community/society? is marrying someone outside of sikhi a sin? i have been trying to forgive myself for the drinking and drugs but find it so hard. how am i going to know if waheguru has forgiven me or accepted me? i just feel like such a piece of <banned word filter activated>. so i guess my main question is, how to abstain from my sexual relations with my long standing partner, and how to deal with our relationship in the years to come? how do i move past and forgive myself for the drinking and drugs? i do japji sahib and rehraas sahib everyday but i know that is not enough to be welcomed into Guruji’s charna. i just feel so lost and depressed i don’t know what to do.
  4. Guest

    GUYS and kaam

    Why are guys more kaami than women i don't get it
  5. Guest

    Kaam help

    So I'm at 17 year old male amritdhar, so I've abstained from porn and masutrbation for about 4 months but lately my old habits of masutrbation and watching porn are coming back and i feel so devestated after watching porn and masutrbating, I know it's wrong but sometime I can't seem to controll, I do japji sahib path and ardass after each time I do masturbate and watch porn. How can I stop myself from feeling devestated and stop myself from this bad habit?
  6. Guest

    Kids I Hide I Kaam

    WJKK WJKF Sadh sangat ji. My quaestion is how you deal kaam or sex thoughts with your children. today scenario is completely change. Today kids and children talk about sex with each other. like for example : - talk about sex etc etc because now days its very difficult to control over there because of facebook, whatsapp and youtube. but my quastion is how you people or parent teach your child according to gursikh amritdhari and khalsa need your help. regards, Gur sangat kini khalsa
  7. ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖਾਲਸਾ ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫਤਿਹ ਜੀ I'd like to receive amrit but I'm not sure if I'm ready. I feel like I've been delaying it long enough out of fear that I may trip up, mess up. Sangatji do things change after amrit? Are the 5 vikar just as hard to subdue or does it become easier after amrit? I have a bit of an issue with krodh but it's not something I can't overcome. Lobh and moh are OK. Hankar isn't too bad either. But kaam... Jesus. That one has a solid grip on me. I won't go into detail but I honestly have no control over this vice... I've let it get out of hand and now I'm It's the only thing holding me back from giving my head. I'm not married. I'm 26 and really can't see myself ever getting married. I realise that marriage would be a good place to practice and control kaam but marriage just isn't for me. Please advise. What do I do? Do I just give my head and then deal with my issues after or sort my issues first and then go to amrit sanchar? I don't want to lose out on amrit. I really do want it. Bhul chuka maaf karni ji.
  8. I have a few questions which I would like to ask 1. Did you feel anything when the panj pyare gave you the naam 2. I have lots of ego and kaam, I try not to brag about things but sometimes they (i.e, I also do paath) just come out and if im not praised by someone when I do something, (I am really smart and really good in music but when I dont get praised when I feel like I should, I get this feeling which is hard to describe but I sort of feel hurt). 3. I also feel like I should do bani secretly so I don't get praised but sometimes I just feel like telling people, (just so they praise me), I have tried hard not to tell and have succeeded but then people find out other ways, for example my parents sometimes tell people that I am doing paath....... or if people are coming to my house and ask, why didn't you open the door, I have no excuse but to tell that I am doing paath.... (if I say im in the toilet, sometimes they say they need to go there and I say ok, but when they go, they say "you went into the toilet and took a ****, but theirs no smell, and I cant see any fragrance bottle"(or what ever it is called), and I have no excuse but to say I was doing paath 4. I do ardas everything saying, kaam, krodh lobh, moh,anhkar tau bachakai riknaa, but feel like that it only works sometimes 5. Should I wait a few years and see if the ego goes down, then take amrit 6. If I do seva people start praising me for doing seva, so in order to combat this I do naam simran but then THEY START PRAISING ME/TALK BEHIND MY BACK AND SAY "he is doing simran and seva he must be a true gursikh...... EVEN THOUGH I DONT DO MUCH PAATH/AM NOT A TRUE GURSIKH, like only 4 of the 5 paaths you should do in the morning. 7. Should I go to the saints and tell them my problems and tell them that can you free me from the panj chor, if you do free me, make sure I am free forever(i.e not ever effected by them), if so could you guys tell me some mahapursh/saint which is in india,uk, austriala or nz (i prefer nz as its a lot easier for me to go there) or an saint/mahapursh, im saying this because ive heard from someone doing katha, in which there was a person which did lots of seva, (basically set up everything in the gurudwara and did lots of seva), there was also saint there I think. So one day he went to him and handed him everything of the gurudwara that he owned, (i.e the keys to do doors, etc), and he said that "i cannot do more seva" the saint asked why and then the other person said that he is being effected by the panj chor, (i.e he wants money, wants to make a better life for his kids, etc), so the saint said "is there any way in which you would stay and do seva, you have done seva for so long". the person said "if you burn the panj chor in me and make sure they dont come back" the saint say ok and then put his hand on his head, after a while he said "go back to seva you are free from the panj chor, i have burnt them and they will never come back". 8. What oil is good for your hair, (lol Ik random question) 9. What time should I sleep in order to wake up at 2:30 for amrit vela, what time do you guys wake up 10. help pls
  9. All who read the title may be thinking playing with yourself in a sexual manner. But let's understand kaam a little bit more in advance. Sangat jio, I can be an unsatisfied man at times! If I have gone with my friends to a high classified restaurant we all agree on one thing afterwards... "Next time we have to try another restaurant." Any guesses what we say next time after finding that another dine out?? "Next time we have to go for another restaurant!" Basically we can eat out in EVERY SINGLE restaurants across the whole wide world in our life time. Any guesses what will happen when ALL restaurants are dined out on? Will we be SANTOKH!? BACK TO POINT OF KAAM! Two words that I REALLY hate put together, is "Sexually unsatisfied." Two couples get married, they finally make love, then make love again... and again... NOTHING wrong there. However, once one spouse decides "I am not satisfied! I wanted more. My partner's not fulfilling all my desires I developed as a teen, My partner's sexual organs ain't big as I hoped..." THIS IS KAAM PLUS NOT BEING SANTOKH KICKING IN!" If you're unhappy with your spouse's body you are not likely to find happiness in a stranger's body (one out of many why partner's cheat on husband/ wife). Think about it. So Gurbani states to be santokhi and NOT to cheat on your partner. By being santokh half the life's problems will automatically be solved, BUT if your both lives are going by great and dandy, all love and happiness YOU'RE EVEN MOTHER AND FATHER! but never been happy with sex means the mind can become kaami, like "I wish their was another partner in my life, I wish I could cheat..." I guess we must be happy with what we have. You're a mum/ dad to 2 kids GREAT! It's a sign you made love and everything worked out well, if that didn't satisfy you, then what makes us think that another person could satisfy us?? (Just like new restaurants cannot satisfy us).
  10. Guest

    Kaam help

    Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh I am not an amritdhari sikh and recently i made a promise to sachepashaji to quit masturbating. I broke after a few days abd now I am wondering if I have to pesh.
  11. Guest

    Kaam?

    *edited* - Please search forum "Kaam" and you will find tons of discussions.
  12. Vaheguroo Jee Kaa Khalsaa Vaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!! Sadh sangat ji, I am looking for some direction/advice. I took Amrit at a young age but ended up doing kuraits such as drinking alcohol, smoking and cocaine at one stage. It was a tough time I was going through but no excuse as I still had love for Sikhi. Whilst doing this I never slaughtered my Kes in any way. I always had a deep feeling of guilt whilst doing the above and hid it from everyone (the activities and guilt). Later I met someone also Amritdaari and she had done a kurait as well. I did not disclose my kuraits although she as aware that I was 'Amritdaari' and had taken my Sri Sahib off but kept all other four kakkars. We become a couple and one thing led to another. Anyway, we are no longer together as she passed away in a fatal accident when she was in India. I have upped my Gurbani and Simran so much with Maharaaj's kirpa since. I went to do pesh 2 years ago and took Amrit again. I wasn't able to fully explain all the kuraits I had done as one of the Panj Piyaaray just began shouting at me for the first thing I explained which is fair enough but I still feel my pesh was not complete becuase I didn't get a chance to have a word again due to the amount of praani's taking Amrit that day. Since then I have been in touch with someone and we are really close. Problem is she is married and not happy. Kaam has always been a BIG weakness of mine although I have only been with one person. I have failed again Sangat ji. Having so much knowledge of Gurbani and doing so much Simran and Seva I have still fallen. I want to sort myself out again but need to wait until I can really keep on track and get my avasta to that level. Amrit is priceless and I still remember the Panj Piyaara saying "amrit baar baar nee mildha". I would like to know if anyone has been or is in the same situation or how many times people have been to pesh and taken Amrit? Sorry for the long story but I thought I would explain the situation(s). Thank you very any answers, feedback and guidance in advance.
  13. Guest

    Help

    wjkkwjkf I am 15 years old boy and its been a year since iv gotton into sikhi. I stoped cutting my hair, try to do as much simran as i can, read gurbani and try to understand it. I have a masturbation problem and no matter what i do, i cannot control it and please dont say it is normal. I want to finish this addiction and never do it again. Since iv gotten into sikhi i feel iv been going through a cycle of getting into sikhi, connecting with guru je and then losing it all to kaam. In more detail of the cycle: i dont masturbate for 1-5 days and feel i am getting closer to guru je. Next 1-2 days My mind gets distracted on my phone and go on youtube for hours. I see something the creates a urge for the kaam i was holding back to spill out. Then i feel lots if guilt. Then in 2-5 days i get motivated again and say i wont do it this time matter what,but i still do it. The cycle restarts. Sometimes i feel like killing myself because I think i am going to be stuck in this cycle for the rest of this life and no matter what i do i cannot stop it. I do lots of aardas to guru je and guru je has been very kind to me. Each time i fall, guru je gives me his hand to lift me up. This addiction is something i feel i need to conquer this myself because guru je has shown me the path, but i cannot expect guru je to put on my shoes for the trip. Please please please help me i cannt live like this, after i masturbate i feel like killing myself because i lost all the simran i did and feel i am losing precious breaths i could have used to connect with out beloved. And so i come to this fourm asking for help, tips, personal experience, etc. Like this
  14. Guest

    Masturbation I need help

    I'm an amritdhari 14 year old and I have masturbated 5 time.i really hate my self for it but in the moment my mind gives in. It somehow relieves me of my lust but I don't want to do it my mind gives in and im also forced by my mind to do it. I want to stop. Please help me pyare sangat
  15. Wjkk wjkf. I am a 17 year old amritdhari sikh and i had the urge for a couple of months to indulge in kaam. After really hard trying to fight it i gave in *edited*. I feel very guilty as maharaj said that you should look at the opposite sex as mother sister daughters etc. So please tell me if this is a bajjar kurehit and i have to do a peshi in front of the 5 pyare, or should i do ardas and ask maharaj for kirpa and forgiveness.
  16. Guest

    feeling less Kaam

    hello i posted couple weeks back about reading bani from shri dasam granth. iv been reading Jaap sahib. last few weeks iv felt like im becoming a lot more closer to Sikhi. it might sound weird but i feel close to guru gobind singh ji! dont know how to explain, but like i go gurdwara nearly everyday and when i do matha tekh i always ask guru ji to make me closer to him and to make me a better sikh and give me opportunities to do seva. i have mp3 simran and jaap sahib and shastar naam mala on my phone and listen to it when i go out and about. i also have Nagara playing at hazoor sahib with aarti happening at the back on my phone to and listen to that on repeat. i also have stuck guru gobind singh ji's paintings everywhere in my room. since all this iv noticed iv been feeling kaam lust less. before all this i use to masturbate everyday! sometimes several times a day! though iv never had sex i use to think its ok to sleep around. i had been asked for casual sex several times my colleges etc but made excuses and refused because im of a shy nature and had anxiety. but now i cant remember the last time iv masturbated! if a wrong thought comes to my mind i imagine guru ji's image or start doing waheguru in my head and it goes away. i mean i dont even feel that interested in all that anymore! yeah i do get thoughts now and then but i dont act on it. is this normal? does this happen? i even sometimes use to do matha tekh and ask guru ji to help me with kaam. since then iv also gained an interest in nihangs, hazoor sahib and guru ji's shastars and childhood stories. i use to have serious anxiety problems and take anti depressant pills but last few weeks iv been feeling so confident! i have developed these strong feelings towards guru ji. because im confident now whenever i see anyone struggling on the street i always ask them if they need help. i just have been feeling very different. im not amritdhari but i dont eat meat anymore and i dont drink anymore either. iv just been feeling so confident and different recently, my anxiety is gone and i truly feel its my trust in guru ji that has helped a lot.
  17. Guest

    do i need to go pesh

    so i downloaded a app and i thought it was a cool app and i click it and it turned out as a porn website and then i watched it for 3mins and then i realized i am a amritdhari {i didnt do anything bad} should i go pesh or not?
  18. Navjyot

    Need Help With Lust

    I was blessed with amrit roughly a month ago but two to three afterwards, I started indulging in lust again. I am about 16 now and started indulging in lust at around 10 to 11.
  19. Waheguru Jee Ka Khalsa Waheguru Jee Kee Fateh I have done a horrible mistake and wish to take amrit. I have not had sex but me and another amritdhari individual engaged in mutual manual sex (hand jobs, fingering...). My punjabi is not too good and I am SO ridiculously ashamed. Please someone help me and explain to me how I would word this in Punjabi to the Panj Pyare - what do I have to say? How in the world do I say this?
  20. Guest

    Feeling Down Due To Kaam

    Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh How do control my kaam ? Recently I've been getting afflicted by kaam a lot its making me lazier and depressed. My mind just wants me to do bad stuff, sometimes I slip and start falling to kaam, but Guru Ji kirpa sometimes i realise what im doing and stop. But I still feel guilty, and sometimes I can't sleep sleep properly because I feel like i betrayed Guru Ji. Its getting kind of depressing now, I shouldn't be falling weak all the time. So i was looking for advice on how to avoid following my mind. bul chuck mafee
  21. Guest

    Its Eating Me Alive

    So i been pesh before for m@turbting n singhs said keep strong but its eating me alive, every girl i see i have lustful thoughts too bad karam im literally dying its so surperessed what should i do just let it out pls some1 tell me b4 i do something stupid. Is it ok to do it n get rid of these thoughts its really eatijg me up. What to do im such a papi pls help
  22. I'd like to start of by saying I AM NOT YET AMRITDHARI. But I was aiming to take Amrit at my closest Amrit Sanchar in Malton, Ontario Canada Gurdwara in 2016. I would have loved to have taken Amrit at the Amrit Sanchar before this one,this year, but I waned to get in control of my Kaam Problem first. Sadly, instead of controlling it, it is only getting worse day by day. I'm losing control of the problem, and to top it off, I've stopped doing Bani and Jaap. I live in a whitetown far away from Malton so getting Sangat is quite difficult. My parents like Sikhi, but think that Sangat is pointless, and a waste of time, and that I should focus on my studies. Whenever I do get Sangat, I feel like I'm getting some strength, but it is very temporary, and after a few days I go back to my s***** self. Please give me any tips you can and thank you Khalsey Jeeo!
  23. singhsahib94

    Peshi Or No?

    Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh sangatoo, Daas want to share something regarding my friend. so he told me that he almost did bujjer kurehit. He was on the bed with another woman. He touched her like huggs and stuff but guru sahib did kirpa and it stopped. Nothing happened after. Now he is in a doubt of if he should pesh or noo??
  24. First of all let me express my agreement with all those who are likely to tell me so, that 'Kaam', or lust, is a bad thing. Where my own thoughts probably diverge from many other brothers and sisters in this matter is in my understanding of what 'Kaam' is. I consider a lustful person to be one whose thoughts are overwhelmingly predicated on sex, who struggles to control his (or her) desires which then go on to exert a detrimental influence on his (or her, though much more rarely it would seem) well being . A lot of other Sikhs conflate any and all varieties of sexual attraction, irrespective of their magnitude, with lust, and consequently consider it something that is dirty and should be guarded against. How can something which is necessary for the continuation of the species possibly be sinful? Everyone who is on this forum right now was conceived in a moment of sexual attraction. How could a bloke get an erection without feeling attracted to the woman with whom he is having intercourse? I do not believe 'lust' equals sexual attraction. I do not believe the attraction between a man and wife is sinful or something they should feel guilty about. I'd be interested to hear the views of the Sangat on this matter, and would welcome the advice of those better versed in Gurbani than I am.
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