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  1. The story of Ganika is mentioned in Guru Granth Sahib ji, Dasam Granth Sahib and in Bhai Gurdas jis vaarns. Ganika Paapan Swam Across the Worldly Ocean Pritpal Singh / January 14, 2014 ਗਨਕਾ ਪਾਪਨ ਹੋਇਕੈ ਪਾਪਾਂ ਦਾ ਗਲ ਹਾਰ ਪਰੋਤਾ॥ gankaa paa pan hoek ai paa paa(n) d aa gal haa r parot aa|| Gankaa was a sinful prostitute who wore the necklace of misdeeds around her neck. (Vaaran Bhai Gurdaas Ji, page 10) Ganika ‘Paapan’ (female gender for sinner) was a prostitute who indulged in worldly pleasure. Her whole life was spent doing many unsavory deeds. She never recited God’s Name. She was a prostitute by profession but not necessarily because she needed the money to survive but did it out of pleasure and enjoyment. ਮਹਾਂ ਪੁਰਖ ਅਚਾਣਚਕ ਗਣਕਾ ਵਾੜੇ ਆਇ ਖਲੋਤਾ॥ Mahaa(n) pu rakh achaanachak gank aa vaa rrae aae kalo taa|| Once a great man was passing by who halted in her courtyard. One day as it was raining heavily, a ‘Saadhoo’ (pious person seeking God) happened by chance to come by her house. He did not know who lived there. Ganika answered and saw that a Saadhoo had come to her doorstep. She danced to the kitchen and all the way back to the Saadhoo with a glass of milk in hand . From previous lives she had accumulated good Karma the fruits of which she would now receive. She would be blessed with an opportunity for salvation. The Saadhoo asked Ganika, “O daughter, what do you do for a living?” Ganika became embarrassed and said, “Forgive me, my karma is low. I am unfortunate as I am a prostitute.” The Saadhoo refused to drink the milk. “I cannot drink milk given by someone who earns their livelihood through corrupt, immoral means.” Ganika was moved and saddened that the Saadhoo refused to drink the milk. She pleaded with the Saadhoo, “Please drink the glass of milk. I will feel bad if you won’t drink it. What must I do for you to agree to drink it?” ਦੁਰਮਤਿ ਦੇਖ ਦਇਆਲ ਹੋਇ ਹਥਹੁੰ ਉਸਨੋਂ ਦਿਤੋਸੁ ਤੋਤਾ॥ du rmat de kh dayiaal h oe, hath-hahu usn o(n) di- tos t otaa || Seeing her bad plight he became compassionate and offered her a special parrot. ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮ ਉਪਦੇਸ ਕਰ ਖੇਲ ਗਿਆ ਦੇ ਵਣਜ ਸਉਤਾ॥ r aam naa m upd es kar, khe l giaa d e vanaj sou taa|| He told her to teach the parrot to repeat the name of Ram. Having made her understand this fruitful trade he then went away. The The Saadhoo said, “I will drink the milk, if you make one promise.” “Which is?” asked Ganika. The Saadhoo answered, “I will give you my parrot. I want you to promise to teach the parrot how to repeat ‘Raam’ (He who pervades everything) ” And with that, the Saadhoo departed from her house. ਲਿਵ ਲਾਗੀ ਤਿਸ ਤੋਤਿਅਹੁੰ ਨਿਤ ਪੜ੍ਹਾਏ ਕਰੈ ਅਸੋਤਾ॥ li v laa gee thi s tho thiah u(n) ni th parrhaae ae karai asoth aa|| Each and every day, with full concentration, she would teach the parrot to say Ram. Ganika began teaching the parrot as per the Saadhoo’s instruction. The parrot was a slow learner. It required intense effort of repetition of ‘Ram’ for the parrot to learn. Day and night she persevered. ਪਤਿਤ ਉਧਾਰਣ ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮ ਦੁਰਮਤਿ ਪਾਪ ਕਲੇਵਰ ਧੋਤਾ॥ pat it u dhaaran r aam naa m, durmat p aap kalevar dh otaa || The name of Lord is the liberator of the fallen ones. It washed away her evil wisdom and deeds. Repeating ‘Raam’ had a wonderful positive effect on Ganika. As she taught the parrot then also her spirits were uplifted . In time, the parrot learned to say Raam perfectly. By then it had also become an ingrained practice for her to repeat ‘Ram’ and she did so all day. ਅੰਤਕਾਲ ਜਮ ਜਾਲ ਤੋੜ ਨਰਕੈ ਵਿਚ ਨ ਖਾਧੁਸ ਗੋਤਾ॥ antkaa l jam jaa l torr, narak ai vi ch na kaadh us go taa|| At the time of death, it cut away the noose of Yama – the messenger of death she did not have to drown in the ocean of hell. ਗਈ ਬੈਕੁੰਠ ਬਿਬਾਣ ਚੜ੍ਹ ਨਾਉ ਨਾਰਾਇਣ ਛੋਤ ਅਛੋਤਾ॥ ge-ee bai kunt b ibaa n charrh naao n aaraai n chhot achh otaa || Due to the elixir of name (of the Lord) she became totally devoid of sins and was lifted to the heavens. ਥਾਉਂ ਨਿਥਾਵੇਂ ਮਾਣ ਮਣੋਤਾ ॥ thhaa ou nithh aavae maan man othaa || The name (of the Lord) is the last refuge of the shelterless ones. Repeating “Raam Raam Raam Raam Raam….”,Ganika’s mind was purified and her past misdeeds were washed away. Her karmic account had cleared by the time of her death and thus she was freed from the cycle of reincarnation. ਜਿਹ ਸਿਮਰਤ ਗਨਕਾ ਸੀ ਉਧਰੀ ਤਾ ਕੋ ਜਸੁ ਉਰ ਧਾਰੋ ॥1॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ jih simrat gankaa see udhree taa ko jas ur dhaaro ||1|| rehaao || Meditating on Him in remembrance, Ganika the prostitute was saved; enshrine His Praises within your heart. ||1||Pause|| (Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, ang 632) Her dedicated repitition of ‘Ram’ became a deep meditation of God through which she attained her salvation despite her occupation and how she had spent her life. As she was cleansed then saved, enshrining His praises, so can anyone else be also blessed with salvation.
  2. Gotam was a worshipper of the Saalgraam-Shivling (idol or statue, which is worn around the neck of Hindu saints). He meditated upon Shiva for many years and Shiva granted him a boon. Gotam was pleased and thought that he would need to think very carefully about what he wished for. He heard that Mudhgal's daughter Ahalia's marriage was to be arranged. Ahalia was so beautiful that all the deities and men wanted to marry her. Even Indra was ready to marry her. Ahalia's father, Mudhgal was not pleased to see that his daughter was seen as bait and did not like the fact that so many men were having lustful thoughts about her. So that his daughter was not married to any person, Mudhgal approached Brahma for advice. "O Brahma! So many men are fighting over my beautiful daughter and I do not enjoy seeing this. Please interfere and tell the deities to keep away from my daughter. Tell them to not go to war over her. Please think of a solution to this problem." Brahma listened and said that he will resolve this situation. Brahma called upon all deities and men who wished to marry Ahalia. "Look! Mudhgal's daughter is very beautiful. She only seeks to marry one man. You are all capable of becoming her husband. However, if you wish to win Ahalia over then you will all need to follow the code of conduct when it comes to marriage. You will all need to circle the whole earth within 24 minutes. The one, who does so first, will marry Ahalia." All the deities were astonished that Brahma had set such a task for them. But that did not stop from arguing. Brahma's four sons and Indra were very self-centred about this and waged they would win. Gotam heard about this and wished that he could marry Ahalia. Gotam went to his Saalgraam (an object of worship, usually a Shivling) and prayed. The Saalgraam appeared before Gotam and asked him, "O Gotam, whatever you wish now will come true." Gotam wished that he could circulate the whole earth within 24 minutes so that he could win and marry Ahalia. The Saalgraam agreed to help Gotam circulate the earth in the given time and Brahma will be able to see all this. Gotam was given the power to run like the gust of the wind and was given so much energy, that the neighbouring deities were shocked. Some deities even attempted to kill Gotam along the way, but with the blessing of the Saalgraam-Shivling, he was protected throughout his whole journey. Gotam reached Brahma and was the first to do so. At that point Brahma made the decision that Gotam will marry Ahalia. All the deities were displeased and were enraged with jealousy. They made attempts to steal Ahalia from Gotam, but Brahma gave the couple a protection so that no-one could take Ahalia away from Gotam. Gotam and Ahalia were situated near the River Ganges. Gotam went back to meditating and the story of winning Brahma's task had spread to all the other deities. Indra was still enraged and was disappointed that he failed the task. All the holy men and deities were becoming distressed because of Indra's anger. They were going without food and were abused by Indra. Gotam was hurt by all this and he prayed to Saalgraam to feed the Brahmins and holy men. Saalgraam granted Gotam his wish and he fed all the Brahmins and the holy men. All men began to chant Gotam's name and started singing his praises. Indra was again enraged about all this. Indra's anger lied within the task that Brahma set. With his supernatural powers, Indra created a cow. But the curse that Indra put on the cow was if Gotam touched it he would die. The cow went towards Gotam's ashram. Gotam had come out of his ashram and touched the cow. However, the cow died. There was uproar amongst the Brahmins that Gotam killed a cow, which is considered to be sacred in Hinduism. "He must now repent!" With the almighty protection of the Saalgraam, Gotam found out that this was all Indra's doings and he cursed all the Brahmins. He told them, "Go! You people will never be satisfied. You will remain in poverty for many births." On hearing this, the Brahmins became very worried and Gotam stopped the monthly feast he held for them. After some time, both Gotam and Ahalia had a baby daughter. She was ever so beautiful, just like her mother. Indar had not stopped his quest to have some sort of relationship with Ahalia. As time went by, Indra could not control his lust for Ahalia and he became in great distress. Many wise men advised Indra to not pursue his lust for Ahalia, but Indra was too stubborn to listen to let her go. Some foolish person advised Indra, "Gotam goes to have a bath at the River Ganges and it is time for him to pray. Go and request for help from the rooster and the moon. From the call of the rooster, Gotam awakes and when the moon comes out, Gotam goes to have a bath in the River Ganges. If the rooster calls and the moon come out at the same time then Gotam will have his ritual bath and begin his prayers." What a splendid idea thought Indra. Indra approached the rooster and the moon and asked for their help. They foolishly agreed to Indra's plan. The night had fallen. In the middle of the night, the rooster began to call and the moon came out. Gotam awoke on hearing the rooster. He went to the River Ganges and began his ritual bath. Whilst Gotam was having a bath, the River Ganges began to speak to him and warned him, "O Gotam, the Ganges is asleep at this time, why are you bathing in the middle of the night? A robber is about to come to your house and is about to deceive you, what are you doing here? Go home now!" On hearing this, Gotam returned home. Without him knowing, Indra had transformed into a cat. He transformed into a cat because Gotam would never leave Ahalia because so many deities were after her. When he went to bathe, he would always sit his daughter, Anjali, on the doorstep to stop anyone from entering the house. When Indra saw Anjali on the doorstep, he thought she would ask him, "Who's there?" and then he would be able to sneak in and attend to Ahalia. This plan went ahead and when Indra entered the house, he transformed himself into Gotam. Ahalia had no idea of this and both Indra and Ahalia made love. Gotam had come back from his ritual bath and he asked Anjali, "Who is inside?" At this point, Gotam's eyes were burning with rage and redness. Anjali said there was a cat inside. Gotam barged inside and saw Indra (in the disguise of Gotam) naked, lying next to Ahalia. Gotam remembered Saalgraam and cursed Indra. "O Indra, you sinful person! For one lustful moment and committing adultery, your whole body will be covered in vulva marks! You will be made to suffer!" On hearing these words, Indra became frightened and the curse began to cast its spell on Indra. 'Gothum Thapaa Ahiliaa Eisthturee This Dhaekh Indru Lubhaaeiaa.' 'Ahalyaa was the wife of Gautam the seer. Seeing her Indra was enticed. 'Sehus Sureer Chihun Bhug Hooeae Thaa Man Pashothaaeiaa.' 'When he received a thousands marks of disgrace on his body, then he felt regret within his mind.' (Guru Nanak Dev Ji; GGSJ: Ang 1344) In addition the moon was cursed. Gotam said to the moon, "You are part of this earth and provide us with light. But you helped a sinful person; therefore from this day now, you will not be a full moon as you have always been, but you will now change into crescents and become a full moon once a month!" The rooster was also cursed, "You will make your call in the mornings, but no-one will pay attention to you!" Having given the curses, Gotam returned home. He cursed his daughter for foolishly letting Indra within the house when she was meant to be guarding it. Anjali's curse was that she would have to face motherhood whilst she was still a virgin. A few years later, the curse had taken place and Anjali gave birth to a son, who was known as Hanuman. He said to Ahalia, "You are a mother to a beautiful daughter, but your intellect let you down. You slept and committed adultery with another man. You failed to recognise the difference between your own husband and a fake! You acted like a stone, which does absolutely nothing but just sits there. Either you will turn into a stone or you will take many births, where your lust will weaken immensely." Ahalia begged for mercy and asked for forgiveness! Gotam refused to listen and pronounced that she will remain as a stone for many ages until the birth of Sri Ram Chandar, who will be able to save her and take this curse away from her! Ahalia was sent to the River Ganges and the curse had taken its toll. Ahalia became a stone. Many ages later, Lakshman and Vishva Mitar began to meditate near Ahalia and Ahalia was emancipated there by Ram Chandar. Below is the story of Ahalia and Gotam Rishi as written by Bhai Gurdas Ji, Vaar 10, Pauri 18: ੧੮ : ਅਹਿੱਲਿਆ ਅਤੇ ਗੋਤਮ ਗੋਤਮ ਨਾਰਿ ਅਹਿਲਿਆ ਤਿਸਨੋ ਦੇਖਿ ਇੰਦ੍ਰ੍ਰ ਲੋਭਾਣਾ। Gotam Naari Ahiliaa Tisano Daykhi Indr Lobhaanaa. गोतम नारि अहिलिआ तिसनो देखि इंद्र लोभाणा । Ahalya was wife of Gautam. But when she set eyes Indhar, the king of gods, lust overpowered her. ਪਰ ਘਰਿ ਜਾਇ ਸਰਾਪੁ ਲੈ ਹੋਇ ਸਹਸ ਭਗ ਪਛੋਤਾਣਾ। Par Ghari Jaai Saraapu Lai Hoi Sahas Bhag Pachhotaanaa. पर घरि जाइ सरापु लै होइ सहस भग पछोताणा । He entered their house, got curse of being with thousands of pudendums and repented. ਸੁੰਞਾ ਹੋਆ ਇੰਦ੍ਰ੍ਰ ਲੋਕੁ ਲੁਕਿਆ ਸਰਵਰ ਮਨਿ ਸਰਮਾਣਾ। Sounaa Hoaa Indr Loku Loukiaa Saravari Mani Saramaanaa. सुंा होआ इंद्र लोकु लुकिआ सरवरि मनि सरमाणा । The Indralok (abode of Indr) became desolate and getting ashamed of himself he hid in a pond. ਸਹਸ ਭਗਹੁ ਲੋਇਣ ਸਹਸ ਲੈਂਦੋਈ ਇੰਦ ਪੁਰੀ ਸਿਧਾਣਾ। Sahas Bhagahu Loin Sahas Laindoee Indr Puree Sidhaanaa. सहस भगहु लोइण सहस लैंदोई इंद्र पुरी सिधाणा । On revocation of the curse when all those holes became eyes, only then he returned to his habitat. ਸਤੀ ਸਤਹੁ ਟਲਿ ਸਿਲਾ ਹੋਇ ਨਦੀ ਕਿਨਾਰੈ ਬਾਝੁ ਪਰਾਣਾ। Satee Satahu Tali Silaa Hoi Nadee Kinaarai Baajhu Paraanaa. सती सतहु टलि सिला होइ नदी किनारै बाझु पराणा । Ahalya who could not remain steadfast in her chastity became stone and remained lying on the river bank ਰਘੁਪਤਿ ਚਰਣ ਛੁਹੰਦਿਆਂ ਚਲੀ ਸੁਰਗ ਪੁਰਿ ਬਣੇ ਬਿਬਾਣਾ। Raghoupati Charani Chhuhandiaa Chalee Surag Puri Banay Bibaanaa. रघुपति चरणि छुहंदिआ चली सुरग पुरि बणे बिबाणा । Touching the (holy) feet of Ram she was lifted to the heavens. ਭਗਤ ਵਛਲ ਭਲਿਆਈਅਹੁੰ ਪਤਿਤ ਉਧਾਰਣੁ ਪਾਪ ਕਮਾਣਾ। Bhagati Vachhalu Bhaliaaeeahu Patit Udhaaranu Paap Kamaanaa. भगति वछलु भलिआईअहु पतित उधारणु पाप कमाणा । Because of His benevolence He is mother-like to the devotees and being forgiver of the sinners He is called redeemer of the fallen ones. ਗੁਣ ਨੋ ਗੁਣ ਸਭ ਕੋ ਕਰੈ ਅਉਗੁਣ ਕੀਤੇ ਗੁਣ ਤਿਸੁ ਜਾਣਾ। Goun No Goun Sabh Ko Karai Aougoun Keetay Goun Tisu Jaanaa. गुण नो गुण सभ को करै अउगुण कीते गुण तिसु जाणा । Doing good is returned by good gestures always, but he who does good to the evil is known as virtuous. ਅਬਿਗਤਿ ਗਤਿ ਕਿਆ ਆਖਿ ਵਖਾਣਾ ॥੧੮॥ Abigati Gati Kiaa Aakhi Vakhaanaa ॥18॥ अबिगति गति किआ आखि वखाणा ॥१८॥ How can I explain the greatness of that unmanifest (Lord).
  3. Interesting read. Without meditation (Japp), this Kaam energy will not rise upwards in positive direction. Once that happen, this very energy will now transform into kindness (Dyaa), knowledge, art, science and eventually will become Naam-Rass. A sick, helpless person cannot be angry or cruel and at that same time cannot meditate either because there is no energy left within that could be transformed into any of the above. One needs energy to earn money and one also needs energy to earn Naam. A child is born out of extra energy within and Naam-Rass is born out of the extra energy too. Just as one needs food for the body in different stages of life, be it childhood, youth or old age, similarly there is an equal need of the soul for meditation and Naam-Rass. The food given to a small child is in the slow stage of transformation into Kaam-Rass, albeit not in explicitly visible form at this stage – that Kaam energy will surface in the youth and will last till the last days of life. If a person in his/her youth is not able to convert the Kaam-Rass into Naam-Rass, then he/she will remain a Kaami right down to the ripe old age. ਤੁਮ ਕਹੀਅਤ ਹੌ ਜਗਤ ਗੁਰ ਸੁਆਮੀ ॥ thum keheeath ha jagath gur suaamee || You are called the Lord and Master, the Guru of the World. ਹਮ ਕਹੀਅਤ ਕਲਿਜੁਗ ਕੇ ਕਾਮੀ ॥੧॥ ham keheeath kalijug kae kaamee ||1|| I am called a lustful being of the Dark Age of Kali Yuga. ||1|| (Ang 710, SGGS Ji) One gets born with Kaam, lives life in kaam, and dies full of kaam-rass. Since Kaam-Vaashna remains within at the time of death, a new cycle of rebirth starts. If one is born out of kaam, lives a small portion of life in kaam, but dies filled with Naam-Rass, such a person will be able to break the cycle of rebirth because there no Kaam-Vaashna remained within. This person will submerge in and become one with Akal Purakh. Guru Nanak Dev Ji says, this world is a seller of wine, the intoxication: ਕਲਿ ਕਲਵਾਲੀ ਕਾਮੁ ਮਦੁ ਮਨੂਆ ਪੀਵਣਹਾਰੁ ॥ kal kalavaalee kaam madh manooaa peevanehaar || The Dark Age of Kali Yuga is the vessel, filled with the wine of sexual desire; the mind is the drunkard. ਕ੍ਰੋਧ ਕਟੋਰੀ ਮੋਹਿ ਭਰੀ ਪੀਲਾਵਾ ਅਹੰਕਾਰੁ ॥ krodhh kattoree mohi bharee peelaavaa ahankaar || Anger is the cup, filled with emotional attachment, and egotism is the server. (Ang 553, SGGS Ji) The intoxication of that wine is Kaam. Why did Guru Nanak Dev Ji use wine as a reference to kaam? Wine is a drug that destroys one’s intellect and the ability to reason. Anyone who lives all the 8 pehars of a day wisely and thoughtfully will not be affected by Kaam-Vaashna. However, no matter how wise a person may be, once wine goes inside, it affects everybody and destroys the power to think and rationalise. One can dive inside water for 5 or 10 minutes, not forever, because unlike fish, it is not in the nature of human beings to be remain submerged in water. Still, one can still dive in for short amounts of time but eventually will have to come out on the surface. Similarly, in anger, ego or desire, one dives in deep below the surface of intellect and reason. In any of these states, there is a complete absence of reasoning as intellect would not have let it happen in the first place. However, in Naam-Rass, one completely rises above and beyond the levels of intelligence, soaring to levels where grasps of reasoning and logic cannot come close. Sadly, what has happened instead is Kaam-Rass has become a part of our thoughts and remembrances, which should not have happened. The only thing that should remain in our thoughts is Akal Purakh Waheguru; kaam must remain confined to the boundaries of the body and not penetrate and take over our mind. It (kaam) was meant to be for the fulfillment of physical needs, to give birth, but instead it has taken over the mind and thoughts are now all full of kaam. And if it is always revolving in one’s thoughts and becomes a part of the lifestyle, it will surely force towards wrongdoings. Unsatisfied kaam will transform into anger which will be reflected from such a person’s face. This cup of anger is served by one’s ego. These issues of kaam are discussed by Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj in Sri Dasam Granth Sahib Ji under the chapter ‘Charitropakhyaan’, which is being criticised by the nindaks of Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji. They seem to forget that males and females both have their own characteristics – Excess levels of kaam will do nothing but bring out these characteristic. Similarly, excess levels of Kaam-Vaashna will force a male to perform immoral acts. Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj Ji clearly wrote about these characteristics and traits, now people have been objecting and saying it (Charitropakhyaan) cannot be Guru Gobind Singh Ji’s bani. If one can gather the courage to not acknowledge it as Guru Gobind Singh Ji’s bani, then one day such ignorant fools can turn around and say the same about the above bani of Guru Nanak Dev Ji Maharaj. Then, such fools can also start saying the following cannot have been said by Guru Nanak Dev Ji: ਰੰਨਾ ਹੋਈਆ ਬੋਧੀਆ ਪੁਰਸ ਹੋਏ ਸਈਆਦ ॥ rannaa hoeeaa bodhheeaa puras hoeae seeaadh || Women have become advisors, and men have become hunters. ਸੀਲੁ ਸੰਜਮੁ ਸੁਚ ਭੰਨੀ ਖਾਣਾ ਖਾਜੁ ਅਹਾਜੁ ॥ seel sanjam such bhannee khaanaa khaaj ahaaj || Humility, self-control and purity have run away; people eat the uneatable, forbidden food. (Ang 1243, SGGS Ji) Actually the thing is, ignorant people go in the state of denial if a certain concept or thought does not align with their own thinking. Who to tell them they do not possess the levels of understanding and thinking required to able to understand such concepts. The reason such people feel hatred is because of the hatred present within them, that weakness still exists within them. A saint never kills a theif, it is the thieves who fight amongst themselves and destroy each other. A thug will hit another thug as a saint will never even dream of doing such a thing. If we look closely at their behavior, we can see that it is jealousy and hatred towards their fellow thieves and thugs who, unlike them, have been able to make it big in their ‘professions’. A saint, on the other hand, never retaliates in hatred towards such people. The purpose of a saint is to change the rotten mindsets of lost people instead. Once Rishi Vyaas was travelling in a boat on the river Ganges; He had long hair knotted up on the top of his head, and had a long free flowing beard. A few young people sitting on the same boat started teasing them. The rishi said nothing. Seeing that their taunts had no desired effect, they start splashing icy cold water from the river on him. A voice from rishi’s soul rose: “You tolerated all the abuse these guys threw at you, but now they have physically started abusing by splashing cold water on you, I will have to do something. If you say, I can turn the whole boat upside down”. The rishi folded both his hands and said,” What good would turning the boat upside down do? If you have to do something, why don’t you turn thinking downside up instead?” Thus, a saint has never hit or damaged an evil person. ਮੈਲਾਗਰ ਬੇਰ੍ਹੇ ਹੈ ਭੁਇਅੰਗਾ ॥ mailaagar baerhae hai bhueiangaa || The snakes encircle the sandalwood trees. ਬਿਖੁ ਅੰਮ੍ਰਿਤੁ ਬਸਹਿ ਇਕ ਸੰਗਾ ॥੨॥ bikh anmrith basehi eik sangaa ||2|| Poison and nectar dwell there together. ||2|| (Ang 525, SGGS Ji) There is no distance separating poison and Amrit. Or one can say it like this: A poison can be turned into Amrit and vice-versa. The juice of grapes or sugarcanes is nectar but if we ferment it, the same nectar turns into wine, a poison. Poison is bitter, by fermentation the same sweet tasting nectar gets transformed into bitter, foul poison. The very products that were being the support elements of life – Grapes, sugarcane (sugar), oranges, etc – are now being used to destroy lives. Sankheeya, a type of stone, is essentially a poison but Ayurvedic Vaids destroy it and turn it into something called Kushtaa, a form of medicine that is used to cure hundreds of various ailments. Similarly, snake’s poison is used in various medicines to cure people. Thus, a poison when carefully used can turn into pure nectar and conversely, if Amrit is misused, it can turn into poison. [Maskeen Ji narrates a personal story where one of his friends helped revive his badly sore throat by giving a small dose of Kushtaa, which was once a Sankhee (poison)]. Renowned poet Dr. Mohd. Iqbal describes this in his own unique style as – Jo Zehar-e-halaa Hall hai wohi amrit hai naadaan, Maaloom nahi tujh ko yeh hein andaaz peene kay. If one has learnt the art of living, it is amrit otherwise that same life is nothing but poison. Similarly, if one knows the right use of materials and money, they are amrit; if not, the same money and materials will prove to be poison. Anyone who puts his/her own life to wrong use and purpose will not use anything else wisely and in right matter. People who have put their lives on wrong tracks will perhaps even interpret Gurbani in wrong way by doing terribly wrong translations and explanations. Maybe such people will also misuse Guruji’s Baana, Gurughars, Guruji’s panth and philosophy. By constant wrong-doings, everything will start turning into poison while right and just actions will turn everything into amrit. Some people, by constant negative actions, have made their homes pure hell, while there are others, who (by constant remembrance and love for Akal Purakh) have turned their homes into blissful heaven. The literal meaning of the word ‘Swarag’ (heaven) as written by the writer of the book, Saar Kitaavali: Agyakaari Sutt ho Aur Mith Boli Naar, Dhan Apne Santokh Mann Yeh Chaar, Surag Sansaar. He says, heaven is a home where there are obedient children, husband and wife standing on the same platform of similar interests and philosophy of life, money to provide necessities of life and contentment in hearts. That is what real heaven is. One thing is clear: man has made a lot of progress in creating new breeds of animals and vegetation. There are cows that give more milk than ever before, pigs, dogs that are of higher quality breeds. Similarly, there are better seeds for different crops being developed and the yield of crops has substantially increased compared to that in past. However, it is also very clear that the kind of human being born in the present day and age are worse than ever before. Man has put all the efforts in creating and improving breeds of animals and vegetable yet has completely ignored to improve on his own self. Everything around us is evolving into something better, it is just children that are heading towards negative side and that is simply because parents have not put any effort into shaping them into better human beings. From a religious standpoint, Baba Prithi Chand and Ram Rai were not bad people. Ram Rai had obtained Sidhhi and as such was a sidhh person who showed 72 different miracles to Aurangzeb. There are still a lot of followers of ram rai in the U.P. state of India, known as Ramraayiye. Since he performed miracles to create his own influence, he became arrogant as a result. Guru Har Rai Sahib Ji Maharaj forbade Sikhs to have any dealings with him from then on. Similarly, Prithi Chand was also a Sidhh but became selfish; he had Jahangir under his influence, which in turn was using him for his own purposes. Although he was not a bad person, yet his arrogance took over his senses and refused to acknowledge his younger brother, Guru Arjan Dev Ji, as the Guru. The same arrogance hit Baba ram rai when five and half years old Guru Harkrishan ji was appointed the next Guruji. Even though he was a Sidhh, he misused his spiritual powers just like Durbhasha, a Sidhh who put his powers to wrong use by cursing the whole family of Krishna. Thus, although man has great powers and has concentrated his efforts on creating and developing better varities of animals and vegeatables, sadly no effort has been made in cultivating children into better adults. The whole effort is directed towards earning more money, building better houses, buying new products while children, who are the real treasure, are completely neglected. If we imitate the west for raising children, they will go out of control and in wrong directions. The west, being a capitalistic society, concentrates on wealth and ignores children and that is why the whole of Europe and America has gone spiritually corrupt and family life has pretty much become non-existent. Coming back to the topic in question: If one can discuss and give expositions topics like anger, ego, desires, etc then why should we remain quiet when it comes to ‘forbidden’ topics? If we do, we will not be able to fully comprehend and remain under the influence of ignorance. If there is anger within, then we must understand it. If there is greed within, then we must try to understand its nature. Similarly, there is kaam within all of us, then we must make efforts to try to understand its nature and characteristics in order to properly utilise it In India, there once lived a rishi called ‘Vatsayan’, he authored a book called ‘Kaam Sutra’ – the knowledge of Kaam. In it, he explicitly makes the claim that those who have no knowledge of kaam can have no understanding and knowledge of Ram. And he also says in the same book that anyone who is not able to rise above the levels of Kaam-Rass will never be able to reach and find Naam-Rass. There is a about 18 temples in India that are known as the ‘Temples of Khajuraho’. These 18 temples are spread in about 20 square miles of land in a small place called Khajuraho. Although the total population of Khajuraho is about 19,000, there is a big airport which connects all the major cities of India to that place. In addition, there are regular bus services and other means of transport to these temples. Thousands of tourists and Indians travel from far and wide to see these temples. [Maskeen Ji says he had read about these temples and also a report by Gandhi recommending that these temples be razed to the ground because they depict sexuality and thus are immoral.] Everywhere one sees in and around these snatanee temple are statues of people engaged in various kaamic activities and nothing else. That is the only thing that people from all around the world come to see, even to this day. Such statues can also be seen at Jaganath Puri and Konark. These temples were built by religious rishis and saints of those times which strikes as surprising because it is not something one expects to see at religious places. Guru Nanak Dev Ji Maharaj had also visited the temples at Jaganath Puri and Konark. The religious ceremonies are not held in the temples of Khajuraho anymore, and tourists can be seen looking at the exteriors than interiors because it is the exteriors that have the kaamic statues, while inside there is a lone figure of either Shiva or another Hindu deity. While researching about these temples, one thing struck Maskeen Ji. [He says] Life is a temple and on the exterior levels, there is nothing but kaam while Akal Purakh resides inside. Guru Arjan Dev Ji Maharaj says: ਨਉ ਨਿਧਿ ਅੰਮ੍ਰਿਤੁ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਕਾ ਨਾਮੁ ॥ no nidhh anmrith prabh kaa naam || The nine treasures are in the Ambrosial Name of God. ਦੇਹੀ ਮਹਿ ਇਸ ਕਾ ਬਿਸ੍ਰਾਮੁ ॥ dhaehee mehi eis kaa bisraam || Within the human body is its place of rest. (Ang 293, SGGS Ji) Akal Purakh resides within, while all that is outside is Kaam. Since Kaam energy is nothing but dust, a kaami person will eventually become a part of dust. One can ask the question, how does kaam equals dust? Well, from dust came food (vegetables, etc), from food came blood, and from blood came Bindh (that creates), from that Bindh, a child (of flesh) is born, which eventually becomes dust again. Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaj explains it as follows: ਪਾਨੀ ਮੈਲਾ ਮਾਟੀ ਗੋਰੀ ॥ paanee mailaa maattee goree || The water of the sperm is cloudy, and the egg of the ovary is crimson. ਇਸ ਮਾਟੀ ਕੀ ਪੁਤਰੀ ਜੋਰੀ ॥੧॥ eis maattee kee putharee joree ||1|| From this clay, the puppet is fashioned. ||1|| (Bhagat Kabir Ji, SGGS Ji) ਮਾਤ ਪਿਤਾ ਸੰਜੋਗਿ ਉਪਾਏ ਰਕਤੁ ਬਿੰਦੁ ਮਿਲਿ ਪਿੰਡੁ ਕਰੇ ॥ maath pithaa sanjog oupaaeae rakath bindh mil pindd karae || Through the union of mother and father, the fetus is formed. The egg and sperm join together to make the body. (Guru Nanak Dev Ji, Ang 1013, SGGS Ji) In this human body, there are some elements that are masculine in nature and others that are feminine. It is through the union of male and female a child is born, and thus has elements of both of them in him/her. Guru Nanak Dev Ji expresses it as: ਪੁਰਖ ਮਹਿ ਨਾਰਿ ਨਾਰਿ ਮਹਿ ਪੁਰਖਾ ਬੂਝਹੁ ਬ੍ਰਹਮ ਗਿਆਨੀ ॥ purakh mehi naar naar mehi purakhaa boojhahu breham giaanee || The female is in the male, and the male is in the female. Understand this, O God-realized being! (Ang 879, SGGS Ji) Those who consider them learned and big researchers, they should also understand this tukk. There is no such female that has no elements of male characteristics in her and similarly, there is no such man that has no female elements in him. The only reason a male has become a male is because the male elements in him are in majority as compared to the female elements. Similarly, a woman is a woman because the female elements in her are in majority in comparison to male elements. Thus, there is an incomplete father within a woman and an incomplete mother within a man. An incomplete mother wants to be complete, that is why a mother feels more attached to the male child than the girl child. Similarly, a male’s bonding and attachment is with the female child than the male child. Guru Nanak Dev Ji clarifies this thought: ਬਾਲ ਕੰਨਿਆ ਕੌ ਬਾਪੁ ਪਿਆਰਾ ਭਾਈ ਕੌ ਅਤਿ ਭਾਈ ॥ baal kanniaa ka baap piaaraa bhaaee ka ath bhaaee || The father is dear to his young daughter, and the brother is very dear to his brother. (Ang 596, SGGS Ji) There are many areas that have not been explored, and when Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj explains them in Sri Dasam Granth Sahib Ji, many fools have got up and have started creating unnecessary commotion within Sikh Panth. They ask, “Is it appropriate to read Triya Charitars?” Of course, but also read the description of characters of males as told to us by Sri Guru Gobind Singh Sahib Ji Maharaj in Hiqayats. The corruption of mindset of both male and female and the combination of these mindsets will bring about such disastrous consequences. If a child has turned out to be bad, then it is the bad parents that are responsible, at least they were bad at that particular moment when that child’s existence happened. Such parents may have corrected themselves, but surely they must have had bad qualities earlier when the child was conceived. [Maskeen Ji humbly apologies if he has hurt anyone with the ‘harsh’ words he said, although that was not his intention]. Significance of the love for Baani and Baana: One has to connect with Gurbani and its message first, Guruji’s Baana will happen effortlessly. If one has tasted the Amrit of Gurbani, it is needless to say such a person will surely get connected to Khandeh Baatay Da Amrit. It is useless to force someone who hasn’t connected with Bani to get the blessings of Amrit as he/she will end up drinking (or do anything against rehat) and will bring bad name to the data of Amrit and to Guru’s Bani and Bana. Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj never forced anyone to take amrit. He had asked for a head, someone willing to give his/her head to Guruji without asking any questions. Thus, bless only those with Amrit who have real yearning for it, someone who has understood Guruji’s philosophy and is willing to give his/her head to Guruji without any doubts or questions. Bhai Dya Ram (later Bhai Dya Singh), on Gurujis call had said, “Guruji, this head became yours the day we bowed it down in your feet, so what’s the hesitation in giving something that belongs to you in the first place?” Such people, who had that kind of pyaar for Guruji, were given the daat of Amrit. That is why, our efforts should be towards understanding the bani, and explaining the meanings and jinx of it to others so that the love for Guruji could develop and thirst for Amrit will automatically take place within them. Such people will get chopped to bits but will never let anyone spoil Guruji’s Baana. Therefore, we must not take the power of Gurbani lightly. Bhai Santokh Ji says the Bani of Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaj is the mother of all the bani of all the philosophies and understand of God as found in all the dharma granths of this world. Going back to the tukk of Guru Nanak Dev Ji: ਬਾਲ ਕੰਨਿਆ ਕੌ ਬਾਪੁ ਪਿਆਰਾ ਭਾਈ ਕੌ ਅਤਿ ਭਾਈ ॥ baal kanniaa ka baap piaaraa bhaaee ka ath bhaaee || The father is dear to his young daughter, and the brother is very dear to his brother. (Ang 596, SGGS Ji) It is commonly observed in Indian society that male child is preferred by parents and the society in general while this decision should be left to Akal Purakh to decide. This favourism is also observed at orphanages where childless couples go to get a child to adopt, its boys that get most easily adopted. This is unlike in the west where a girl is favoured in place of boys. This is because they know girls are sensitive to other’s needs and feelings while guys live on the levels of logic and start questioning everything. If a father sits and contemplates on his grown up children as to who has remembered him with greater fondness and affection, he will find it will his daughter who has shown more honest love and care towards him than the son. Guru Nanak Dev Ji, in the above tukk, tells us exactly that. If one looks at the other aspect now, we can see it’s the son that is more close to his mother while father and son falling out with each other is a common observation in many families. In situations where father and son end up in fierce arguments, mother is always seen supporting her son. These are physiological aspects – a man is incomplete in every woman, and a woman remains incomplete in every man. The very word ‘Ardhaangini’ which is now used for wife is composed of two different words – Ardh (half) and Ang (body part) – meaning she is incomplete without the male counterpart. It certainly did not mean ‘Wife’ like today. That incomplete part within a woman wants to be complete and that is why there is an attraction for males in her heart. Similarly, the incomplete woman inside a man wants to be complete and thus, his attraction for women. To repeat what Guru Nanak Dev Ji Maharaj says: ਪੁਰਖ ਮਹਿ ਨਾਰਿ ਨਾਰਿ ਮਹਿ ਪੁਰਖਾ ਬੂਝਹੁ ਬ੍ਰਹਮ ਗਿਆਨੀ ॥ purakh mehi naar naar mehi purakhaa boojhahu breham giaanee || The female is in the male, and the male is in the female. Understand this, O God-realized being! (Ang 879, SGGS Ji) That is why even the biggest of saints is incomplete, as almost half of his self is an incomplete woman wanting to be complete. If someone does not consume the right food in the right manner, he/she will be forced to eat wrong food in a wrong fashion. Bhagat Kabir Ji says: ਜਗ ਮਹਿ ਬਕਤੇ ਦੂਧਾਧਾਰੀ ॥ jag mehi bakathae dhoodhhaadhhaaree || Those who claim in this world that they live on milk alone, ਗੁਪਤੀ ਖਾਵਹਿ ਵਟਿਕਾ ਸਾਰੀ ॥੩॥ gupathee khaavehi vattikaa saaree ||3|| secretly eat whole loads of food. ||3|| (Ang 873, SGGS Ji) Bhagat Kabir Ji says people who claim they have so much self restraint that they can exist just by consuming milk are nothing but lairs as these very people gulp loads and loads of food in secret and in a wrong fashion. Those who do not satisfy the basic needs of a Grahist Jeevan in a proper and dignified manner will end up satisfying those needs from outside with inappropriate ways. So why not do it within the laws of nature, of society and spiritually elevated people? One has learnt the proper way to cook, unlike animals who also eat but do not know how to cook. Similarly animals have not been able to create and adapt to the proper and lawful ways of Grahist Jeevan with which a human being (should) lives. In animal world, concept of relationships like uncles and aunts is non-existent. There is always an attraction for the opposite sex because the incomplete part within wants to be complete. To validate the way in which this need is fulfilled, stamp of approval has to come from Gurmat in the form of four lavaans with Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaj as the vichola (middleman). Coming back to the topic, if saints feel the need to have water and food, then surely kaamic activity is also a need of the body. Guru Nanak Dev Ji Maharaj does not agree that this activity can be given up. ਜਤਨ ਕਰੈ ਬਿੰਦੁ ਕਿਵੈ ਨ ਰਹਾਈ ॥ jathan karai bindh kivai n rehaaee || No matter how much he tries, he cannot control his semen and seed. ਮਨੂਆ ਡੋਲੈ ਨਰਕੇ ਪਾਈ ॥ manooaa ddolai narakae paaee || His mind wavers, and he falls into hell. (Ang 906, SGGS Ji) No one can refrain themselves from kaam, although one cannot know if somebody does it in secret and in unlawful ways. Thus, this energy is required for the creation of new lives but excess Kaam-Rass will offshoot into Kaam-Krodh, Kaam-Lobh, and Kaam-Vaashna. That is why, one has to transform this energy upwards in the positive direction so that Kundalini can rise and break the chakars, eventually resulting in Naam-Rass. (Please do read “Kundalini Surjee Satsangat” by Gyani Ji for more in-depth veechar on this subject here – link: http://www.sikhsanga…h-ji-maskeen/). This topic (of kaam) has remained untouched and objections have been raised [against Maskeen Ji] for raising this topic. Well, if that is the case, then first one should tell Guru Arjan Dev Ji Maharaj to not discuss it, who say in Sahahskriti Sloks: ਹੇ ਕਾਮੰ ਨਰਕ ਬਿਸ੍ਰਾਮੰ ਬਹੁ ਜੋਨੀ ਭ੍ਰਮਾਵਣਹ ॥ hae kaaman narak bisraaman bahu jonee bhramaavaneh || O sexual desire, you lead the mortals to hell; you make them wander in reincarnation through countless species. (Ang 1358, SGGS Ji) OR ਕਾਮੁ ਕ੍ਰੋਧੁ ਕਾਇਆ ਕਉ ਗਾਲੈ ॥ kaam krodhh kaaeiaa ko gaalai || Unfulfilled sexual desire and unresolved anger waste the body away, ਜਿਉ ਕੰਚਨ ਸੋਹਾਗਾ ਢਾਲੈ ॥ jio kanchan sohaagaa dtaalai || as gold is dissolved by borax. (Ang 932, SGGS Ji) First stop the Gurujis and Saints who do not hesitate to discuss this important subject and then we will stop. The great Rishi Vatsayan wrote “kama sutra” and Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj did the translation of that book in Sri Dasam Granth Ji. 90% of the Bani of Sri Dasam Granth Ji is the translation of old granths because in those days, Brahmins used to educate other fellow Brahmins about the granths of India and no one else. As a result people belonging to other castes used to remain deprived of the material and the Sanskrit content written in those granths. Also, these crooked Brahmins used to twist and turn the meanings of the scriptures to please the listener. That is why, Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj himself created the teeka, the translation of these scriptures. He declares: ਦਸਮ ਕਥਾ ਭਾਗਉਤ ਕੀ ਭਾਖਾ ਕਰੀ ਬਨਾਇ ॥ ਅਵਰ ਬਾਸਨਾ ਨਾਹਿ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਧਰਮ ਜੁੱਧ ਕੇ ਚਾਇ ॥੨੪੯੧॥ Dasam kathaa Bhaagaddd kibhaakhaa karibanaae|| Avar baasnaa naah(i) prabh dharam juddh ke chaae||2491|| I have composed the discourse of the tenth part (Skandh) of Bhagavat in the vernacular; O Lord ! I have no other desire and have only the zeal for the war fought on the basis of righteousness.2491. (Ang 1133, Sri Dasam Granth Sahib Ji) Guruji clearly clarifies that he is not attached to all the saints and religious people that appear in the stories I have translated, the only thing that he is attached and fond of is that of Dharam-Yudh, the war for the preservation of righteousness. But in order to understand the importance of our own Gurbani, one needs to have other philosophies handy to compare it with so that we can get awareness of the real beauty of the Bani of our Gurus. That is why; Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj gave us the translations of the old religious philosophies for us to compare Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaj’s Amrit bani with in order for us to really comprehend the true meaning of Gurbani. In the translation of Krishan Avtar, Guruji clearly states: ਮੈ ਨ ਗਨੇਸ਼ਹਿ ਪ੍ਰਿਥਮ ਮਨਾਊਂ ॥ ਕਿਸ਼ਨ ਬਿਸ਼ਨ ਕਬਹੂੰ ਨਹ ਧਿਆਊਂ ॥ਕਾਨ ਸੁਨੇ ਪਹਿਚਾਨ ਨ ਤਿਨ ਸੋਂ ॥ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਗੀ ਮੋਰੀ ਪਗ ਇਨ ਸੋਂ ॥੪੩੪॥ Mai na gadeshah(i) pritham manaaoon|| Kishan Bishan kab-hoon nah dhiaaoon|| Kaan sune paihchaan na tin son|| Liv laagimoripag in son||434|| I do not adore Ganesha in the beginning and also do not mediatate on Krishna and Vishnu; I have only heard about them with my ears and I do not recognize them; my consciousness is absorbed at the feet of the Supreme Kal (the Immanent Brahman).434. (Ang 732, Sri Dasam Granth Sahib Ji) Guruji tells us explicitly that he not acknowledge the godly status given to these avtars, the only reason he has provided us these translations is so that a common man can know what exactly is written in Sanskrit in the other granths about the ways with which people in olden days used to meditate and the kind of practices they were involved in. Baba Balwant Ji, the teacher who taught Gyani Maskeen Ji the rules of Gurbani grammer, was about 75 years old when Maskeen Ji saw him reading the “Kama Sutra”. He asked him with surprise the reason for reading such a book. Babaji smiled and said, “The kaam with which one is born, which remains with us in youth and till the time we die, one should try to understand it”. In that book, Vatsayan has explained how men and women go corrupt when this Kaam-Rass goes out of control. ਰੰਨਾ ਹੋਈਆ ਬੋਧੀਆ ਪੁਰਸ ਹੋਏ ਸਈਆਦ ॥ rannaa hoeeaa bodhheeaa puras hoeae seeaadh || Women have become advisors, and men have become hunters. (Ang 1243, SGGS Ji) Vatsayan writes about the misdeeds men do when they become hunters. When that text is translated by Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj for our knowledge, some have started beating their chests in protest and started saying that Sri Dasam Granth Sahib Ji is not the Bani of Guru Gobind Singh Sahib Ji Maharaj and thus, we refuse to read it. These ignorant fools should be told to first remove kaam from their lives and then dare question Guru Sahib ji Maharaj. It is kaam with which we are born, then how can we not listen to things related to it? Guru Nanak Dev ji Maharaj discusses it, Guru Arjan Dev Ji Maharaj discusses it, Bhagat Kabir Ji discusses it and elaborates on it in the most beautiful ways. The imbeciles who protest are not willing to listen about kaam, rest they do not have problems with discussions and texts on anger, greed or ego. They do not realize that is KAAM that is the root energy of all the other vikaars, be it anger, greed, or desire. It is that very Kaam-Rass that becomes Naam-Rass and also gives birth to new lives. This concept of kaam is very core of all the concepts that are often discussed and lectured upon, yet that very root concept is frowned upon and objected to by ignorant Guru Nindaks. One has to realise it is the misuse of excess Kaam-Rass that results in mental instability in many people. Maskeen Ji narrates a little story out of his own life: Once, out of curiosity, he visited a sanitarium in New York where a Singh close to him worked. These mentality instable people were all given different magazines to read in an attempt to bring some sense of sanity back to them. Maskeen Ji says he was shocked to see that one patient had scribbled crowns and jewels on the cover photos and speech bubbles were drawn which suggested that these people were dictating orders to each other. The doctor laughed it away but Maskeen Ji said, it is his arrogance that has disturbed his mental balance. Then there are other people who go insane because of excessive anger, and there are yet others who lose their mental composure due to greed. Guru Arjan Dev Ji says: ਅੰਤਰਿ ਲੋਭੁ ਫਿਰਹਿ ਹਲਕਾਏ ॥ anthar lobh firehi halakaaeae || Within them is greed, and they wander around like mad dogs. (Ang 372, SGGS Ji).
  4. Guest

    Help - full of kaam

    Fateh sangat ji, I am in a dilemma with myself and my Sikhi. I would like to ask a few questions from knowledgeable people on there, both Gursikhs and non, and also get some advice. Please don't just slander me as I don't need that right now. I took amrit aged 15 but then went down the wrong path at 18 when I moved out for uni, but secretly. I started drinking (usually on my own at home), occasionally smoking a cigarette when in the pub low key and I also dabbled in some weed and coke here and there. I did not become an addict or alcoholic by any means. I have always had a major problem with kaam. I got together with my best friend but this was an on off relationship and a distance one due to areas. Mostly based on phone calls, emails etc. I never told her about what kurehats I had done. She was amritdhari. During our last off period which was about a year, she had met someone else. I called her one day to say I still love her and later down the line she told me that she met someone and their wedding was arranged and date set. This broke me and I still wanted us to be together as we always spoke about. Anyway, we met a few times and one thing lead to another. This lasted up until her wedding. She didn't call off the wedding due to being afraid of her parents etc. Now, I was obviously heartbroken and lonely. I have always been a horny chap and with the regular physical activity no longer there with her it was difficult for me. Anyway, I went to pesh and retook amrit but my heart wasn't in it as I could not speak openly to the panj piaare due to time restraints and as one was hell bent on telling me off without me fully explaining all my kurehats. I still done the seva they said but just felt I was not forgiven as everything wasn't disclosed. Then an old friend of mine got in touch but she was married and not happy. It had only been a year since her marriage. We got close on the phone declared we liked each other in all ways and met. Nothing happend as I knew I retook amrit and she is married. I resisted so much for a few years and had several "opportunities" with other friends and colleagues which I didn't do. But being full of kaam I couldn't any longer and had an affair with my married friend. Now, I have disrespected my Guru and Amrit twice now and cant give up sex with her but I know one day I will have to as she cant leave him. My conscious gets to me. Question, will I be forgiven?? I read plenty of bani and do seva. I don't plan on taking Amrit yet because I cannot fall a 3rd time and take the piss so will wait a few years and control.my kaam before going in front of the panj piaare. I need to sort my kaam out. I cant get married to someone I don't love otherwise that would have addressed the issue. Any advice and thoughts? Thank you.
  5. Recently I've started to increase my Nitnem Gurkirpa and for some reason my kaam is going through the roof. It's not like I can't control it like I won't end up masturbating but it's literally taking over my mind. I'm also getting really negative thoughts in general like I'm getting pretty upset regularly and feeling down a lot and even having flashbacks and memories of really harrowing times in my life. It's kind of manageable rn but it's been getting steadily worse over time and I feel like it will get out of hand soon. Does anyone know why this is happening? I literally feel really really vulnerable and it's ever since my Nitnem started to increase to a fairly good amount gurkirpa. Any thoughts from the sangat?
  6. Guest

    Feelig lost..

    Hi everyone. ive been feeling very lost and depressed recently and am looking for some guidance. let me give you some background. i come from a highly respected and religious family (i have sants in my family tree) so my whole family is very religious and amrtidhari. i’ve struggled a lot since starting college. i’ve drank, done hard drugs and have been in a long relationship with someone of a different ethnicity and religion. i’ve lies to and stolen from my parents. i am finally learning to restrain from drinking and drugs, and i no longer hurt my parents. but my biggest issue now is engaging in sexual/physical relations with my significant other. we talk about marriage and i cannot see myself spending my life with anyone else, but i know this relationship would hurt my parents and they would make me choose between them and my partner. how can i break up with someone i truly love becaus it’s not accepted in our community/society? is marrying someone outside of sikhi a sin? i have been trying to forgive myself for the drinking and drugs but find it so hard. how am i going to know if waheguru has forgiven me or accepted me? i just feel like such a piece of <banned word filter activated>. so i guess my main question is, how to abstain from my sexual relations with my long standing partner, and how to deal with our relationship in the years to come? how do i move past and forgive myself for the drinking and drugs? i do japji sahib and rehraas sahib everyday but i know that is not enough to be welcomed into Guruji’s charna. i just feel so lost and depressed i don’t know what to do.
  7. Guest

    GUYS and kaam

    Why are guys more kaami than women i don't get it
  8. Guest

    Kaam help

    So I'm at 17 year old male amritdhar, so I've abstained from porn and masutrbation for about 4 months but lately my old habits of masutrbation and watching porn are coming back and i feel so devestated after watching porn and masutrbating, I know it's wrong but sometime I can't seem to controll, I do japji sahib path and ardass after each time I do masturbate and watch porn. How can I stop myself from feeling devestated and stop myself from this bad habit?
  9. Guest

    Kids I Hide I Kaam

    WJKK WJKF Sadh sangat ji. My quaestion is how you deal kaam or sex thoughts with your children. today scenario is completely change. Today kids and children talk about sex with each other. like for example : - talk about sex etc etc because now days its very difficult to control over there because of facebook, whatsapp and youtube. but my quastion is how you people or parent teach your child according to gursikh amritdhari and khalsa need your help. regards, Gur sangat kini khalsa
  10. ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖਾਲਸਾ ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫਤਿਹ ਜੀ I'd like to receive amrit but I'm not sure if I'm ready. I feel like I've been delaying it long enough out of fear that I may trip up, mess up. Sangatji do things change after amrit? Are the 5 vikar just as hard to subdue or does it become easier after amrit? I have a bit of an issue with krodh but it's not something I can't overcome. Lobh and moh are OK. Hankar isn't too bad either. But kaam... Jesus. That one has a solid grip on me. I won't go into detail but I honestly have no control over this vice... I've let it get out of hand and now I'm It's the only thing holding me back from giving my head. I'm not married. I'm 26 and really can't see myself ever getting married. I realise that marriage would be a good place to practice and control kaam but marriage just isn't for me. Please advise. What do I do? Do I just give my head and then deal with my issues after or sort my issues first and then go to amrit sanchar? I don't want to lose out on amrit. I really do want it. Bhul chuka maaf karni ji.
  11. I have a few questions which I would like to ask 1. Did you feel anything when the panj pyare gave you the naam 2. I have lots of ego and kaam, I try not to brag about things but sometimes they (i.e, I also do paath) just come out and if im not praised by someone when I do something, (I am really smart and really good in music but when I dont get praised when I feel like I should, I get this feeling which is hard to describe but I sort of feel hurt). 3. I also feel like I should do bani secretly so I don't get praised but sometimes I just feel like telling people, (just so they praise me), I have tried hard not to tell and have succeeded but then people find out other ways, for example my parents sometimes tell people that I am doing paath....... or if people are coming to my house and ask, why didn't you open the door, I have no excuse but to tell that I am doing paath.... (if I say im in the toilet, sometimes they say they need to go there and I say ok, but when they go, they say "you went into the toilet and took a ****, but theirs no smell, and I cant see any fragrance bottle"(or what ever it is called), and I have no excuse but to say I was doing paath 4. I do ardas everything saying, kaam, krodh lobh, moh,anhkar tau bachakai riknaa, but feel like that it only works sometimes 5. Should I wait a few years and see if the ego goes down, then take amrit 6. If I do seva people start praising me for doing seva, so in order to combat this I do naam simran but then THEY START PRAISING ME/TALK BEHIND MY BACK AND SAY "he is doing simran and seva he must be a true gursikh...... EVEN THOUGH I DONT DO MUCH PAATH/AM NOT A TRUE GURSIKH, like only 4 of the 5 paaths you should do in the morning. 7. Should I go to the saints and tell them my problems and tell them that can you free me from the panj chor, if you do free me, make sure I am free forever(i.e not ever effected by them), if so could you guys tell me some mahapursh/saint which is in india,uk, austriala or nz (i prefer nz as its a lot easier for me to go there) or an saint/mahapursh, im saying this because ive heard from someone doing katha, in which there was a person which did lots of seva, (basically set up everything in the gurudwara and did lots of seva), there was also saint there I think. So one day he went to him and handed him everything of the gurudwara that he owned, (i.e the keys to do doors, etc), and he said that "i cannot do more seva" the saint asked why and then the other person said that he is being effected by the panj chor, (i.e he wants money, wants to make a better life for his kids, etc), so the saint said "is there any way in which you would stay and do seva, you have done seva for so long". the person said "if you burn the panj chor in me and make sure they dont come back" the saint say ok and then put his hand on his head, after a while he said "go back to seva you are free from the panj chor, i have burnt them and they will never come back". 8. What oil is good for your hair, (lol Ik random question) 9. What time should I sleep in order to wake up at 2:30 for amrit vela, what time do you guys wake up 10. help pls
  12. All who read the title may be thinking playing with yourself in a sexual manner. But let's understand kaam a little bit more in advance. Sangat jio, I can be an unsatisfied man at times! If I have gone with my friends to a high classified restaurant we all agree on one thing afterwards... "Next time we have to try another restaurant." Any guesses what we say next time after finding that another dine out?? "Next time we have to go for another restaurant!" Basically we can eat out in EVERY SINGLE restaurants across the whole wide world in our life time. Any guesses what will happen when ALL restaurants are dined out on? Will we be SANTOKH!? BACK TO POINT OF KAAM! Two words that I REALLY hate put together, is "Sexually unsatisfied." Two couples get married, they finally make love, then make love again... and again... NOTHING wrong there. However, once one spouse decides "I am not satisfied! I wanted more. My partner's not fulfilling all my desires I developed as a teen, My partner's sexual organs ain't big as I hoped..." THIS IS KAAM PLUS NOT BEING SANTOKH KICKING IN!" If you're unhappy with your spouse's body you are not likely to find happiness in a stranger's body (one out of many why partner's cheat on husband/ wife). Think about it. So Gurbani states to be santokhi and NOT to cheat on your partner. By being santokh half the life's problems will automatically be solved, BUT if your both lives are going by great and dandy, all love and happiness YOU'RE EVEN MOTHER AND FATHER! but never been happy with sex means the mind can become kaami, like "I wish their was another partner in my life, I wish I could cheat..." I guess we must be happy with what we have. You're a mum/ dad to 2 kids GREAT! It's a sign you made love and everything worked out well, if that didn't satisfy you, then what makes us think that another person could satisfy us?? (Just like new restaurants cannot satisfy us).
  13. Guest

    Kaam help

    Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh I am not an amritdhari sikh and recently i made a promise to sachepashaji to quit masturbating. I broke after a few days abd now I am wondering if I have to pesh.
  14. Guest

    Kaam?

    *edited* - Please search forum "Kaam" and you will find tons of discussions.
  15. Vaheguroo Jee Kaa Khalsaa Vaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!! Sadh sangat ji, I am looking for some direction/advice. I took Amrit at a young age but ended up doing kuraits such as drinking alcohol, smoking and cocaine at one stage. It was a tough time I was going through but no excuse as I still had love for Sikhi. Whilst doing this I never slaughtered my Kes in any way. I always had a deep feeling of guilt whilst doing the above and hid it from everyone (the activities and guilt). Later I met someone also Amritdaari and she had done a kurait as well. I did not disclose my kuraits although she as aware that I was 'Amritdaari' and had taken my Sri Sahib off but kept all other four kakkars. We become a couple and one thing led to another. Anyway, we are no longer together as she passed away in a fatal accident when she was in India. I have upped my Gurbani and Simran so much with Maharaaj's kirpa since. I went to do pesh 2 years ago and took Amrit again. I wasn't able to fully explain all the kuraits I had done as one of the Panj Piyaaray just began shouting at me for the first thing I explained which is fair enough but I still feel my pesh was not complete becuase I didn't get a chance to have a word again due to the amount of praani's taking Amrit that day. Since then I have been in touch with someone and we are really close. Problem is she is married and not happy. Kaam has always been a BIG weakness of mine although I have only been with one person. I have failed again Sangat ji. Having so much knowledge of Gurbani and doing so much Simran and Seva I have still fallen. I want to sort myself out again but need to wait until I can really keep on track and get my avasta to that level. Amrit is priceless and I still remember the Panj Piyaara saying "amrit baar baar nee mildha". I would like to know if anyone has been or is in the same situation or how many times people have been to pesh and taken Amrit? Sorry for the long story but I thought I would explain the situation(s). Thank you very any answers, feedback and guidance in advance.
  16. Guest

    Help

    wjkkwjkf I am 15 years old boy and its been a year since iv gotton into sikhi. I stoped cutting my hair, try to do as much simran as i can, read gurbani and try to understand it. I have a masturbation problem and no matter what i do, i cannot control it and please dont say it is normal. I want to finish this addiction and never do it again. Since iv gotten into sikhi i feel iv been going through a cycle of getting into sikhi, connecting with guru je and then losing it all to kaam. In more detail of the cycle: i dont masturbate for 1-5 days and feel i am getting closer to guru je. Next 1-2 days My mind gets distracted on my phone and go on youtube for hours. I see something the creates a urge for the kaam i was holding back to spill out. Then i feel lots if guilt. Then in 2-5 days i get motivated again and say i wont do it this time matter what,but i still do it. The cycle restarts. Sometimes i feel like killing myself because I think i am going to be stuck in this cycle for the rest of this life and no matter what i do i cannot stop it. I do lots of aardas to guru je and guru je has been very kind to me. Each time i fall, guru je gives me his hand to lift me up. This addiction is something i feel i need to conquer this myself because guru je has shown me the path, but i cannot expect guru je to put on my shoes for the trip. Please please please help me i cannt live like this, after i masturbate i feel like killing myself because i lost all the simran i did and feel i am losing precious breaths i could have used to connect with out beloved. And so i come to this fourm asking for help, tips, personal experience, etc. Like this
  17. Guest

    Masturbation I need help

    I'm an amritdhari 14 year old and I have masturbated 5 time.i really hate my self for it but in the moment my mind gives in. It somehow relieves me of my lust but I don't want to do it my mind gives in and im also forced by my mind to do it. I want to stop. Please help me pyare sangat
  18. Wjkk wjkf. I am a 17 year old amritdhari sikh and i had the urge for a couple of months to indulge in kaam. After really hard trying to fight it i gave in *edited*. I feel very guilty as maharaj said that you should look at the opposite sex as mother sister daughters etc. So please tell me if this is a bajjar kurehit and i have to do a peshi in front of the 5 pyare, or should i do ardas and ask maharaj for kirpa and forgiveness.
  19. Guest

    feeling less Kaam

    hello i posted couple weeks back about reading bani from shri dasam granth. iv been reading Jaap sahib. last few weeks iv felt like im becoming a lot more closer to Sikhi. it might sound weird but i feel close to guru gobind singh ji! dont know how to explain, but like i go gurdwara nearly everyday and when i do matha tekh i always ask guru ji to make me closer to him and to make me a better sikh and give me opportunities to do seva. i have mp3 simran and jaap sahib and shastar naam mala on my phone and listen to it when i go out and about. i also have Nagara playing at hazoor sahib with aarti happening at the back on my phone to and listen to that on repeat. i also have stuck guru gobind singh ji's paintings everywhere in my room. since all this iv noticed iv been feeling kaam lust less. before all this i use to masturbate everyday! sometimes several times a day! though iv never had sex i use to think its ok to sleep around. i had been asked for casual sex several times my colleges etc but made excuses and refused because im of a shy nature and had anxiety. but now i cant remember the last time iv masturbated! if a wrong thought comes to my mind i imagine guru ji's image or start doing waheguru in my head and it goes away. i mean i dont even feel that interested in all that anymore! yeah i do get thoughts now and then but i dont act on it. is this normal? does this happen? i even sometimes use to do matha tekh and ask guru ji to help me with kaam. since then iv also gained an interest in nihangs, hazoor sahib and guru ji's shastars and childhood stories. i use to have serious anxiety problems and take anti depressant pills but last few weeks iv been feeling so confident! i have developed these strong feelings towards guru ji. because im confident now whenever i see anyone struggling on the street i always ask them if they need help. i just have been feeling very different. im not amritdhari but i dont eat meat anymore and i dont drink anymore either. iv just been feeling so confident and different recently, my anxiety is gone and i truly feel its my trust in guru ji that has helped a lot.
  20. Guest

    do i need to go pesh

    so i downloaded a app and i thought it was a cool app and i click it and it turned out as a porn website and then i watched it for 3mins and then i realized i am a amritdhari {i didnt do anything bad} should i go pesh or not?
  21. I was blessed with amrit roughly a month ago but two to three afterwards, I started indulging in lust again. I am about 16 now and started indulging in lust at around 10 to 11.
  22. Waheguru Jee Ka Khalsa Waheguru Jee Kee Fateh I have done a horrible mistake and wish to take amrit. I have not had sex but me and another amritdhari individual engaged in mutual manual sex (hand jobs, fingering...). My punjabi is not too good and I am SO ridiculously ashamed. Please someone help me and explain to me how I would word this in Punjabi to the Panj Pyare - what do I have to say? How in the world do I say this?
  23. Guest

    Feeling Down Due To Kaam

    Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh How do control my kaam ? Recently I've been getting afflicted by kaam a lot its making me lazier and depressed. My mind just wants me to do bad stuff, sometimes I slip and start falling to kaam, but Guru Ji kirpa sometimes i realise what im doing and stop. But I still feel guilty, and sometimes I can't sleep sleep properly because I feel like i betrayed Guru Ji. Its getting kind of depressing now, I shouldn't be falling weak all the time. So i was looking for advice on how to avoid following my mind. bul chuck mafee
  24. Guest

    Its Eating Me Alive

    So i been pesh before for m@turbting n singhs said keep strong but its eating me alive, every girl i see i have lustful thoughts too bad karam im literally dying its so surperessed what should i do just let it out pls some1 tell me b4 i do something stupid. Is it ok to do it n get rid of these thoughts its really eatijg me up. What to do im such a papi pls help
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