What Should I Do?

[Jangal Da]

Lots of good advice above. The best is the use of a buzurg siana, like a giyani to mediate between the parents as that is the issue.

If you are really in love with each other then never give up. I believe that Waheguru gives is a single soulmate and no one else can replace that.

I was in a similar situation (compatible etc, but not my family's numero uno choice) and I simply kicked up a very big fuss (very big fuss 'jat style' - ashamed to say what exactly and anyhow, I would not condone -simply worked for my personal case at the time) until demands were met!

My work colleague is from South India and he tops that. Him and his wife are from different castes and neither parents were happy. He 'kidnapped' her (she was willing!) from her house, drove away together on his motorbike, being chased by parents and the police until he crossed the state border and found a priest to legitimise their marriage in a mandir. Both parents soon accepted the situation and forgave both children and looked upon the other one as a new addition to the family.

Waheguru is the ultimate Decider of our fates - never loose faith if adverse things occur.

[JarnailS]

My work colleague is from South India and he tops that. Him and his wife are from different castes and neither parents were happy. He 'kidnapped' her (she was willing!) from her house, drove away together on his motorbike, being chased by parents and the police until he crossed the state border and found a priest to legitimise their marriage in a mandir. Both parents soon accepted the situation and forgave both children and looked upon the other one as a new addition to the family.

wjkk wjkf

hahahaha, what a typical bollywood story. i think ur friend and his wife used to watch loads of bollywood stuff...

kidnap, motor cycle, police, mandir, priest aka mandit..... wow!!! lol

wjkk wjkf

[Guest Chris_Latta]

Don't get married in the first place! Marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be, trust me. I've been married three times and still haven't found the right woman. I have a ranch and find myself more inclined to be with the cows now than my spouse.

[Guest _Singh_]

Don't get married in the first place! Marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be, trust me. I've been married three times and still haven't found the right woman. I have a ranch and find myself more inclined to be with the cows now than my spouse.

LOL thats just toooo funny.......then gen u just need to find someone with the same values as you!

[Guest Guest]

Frankly, I side with parents on this issue.

thats very unfortunate... i would imagine if u were in that exact same situation u would have a different belief..

I was sort of in a situation like this. I know that my dad (and I would like to think that I know my dad) would NEVER agree to marry me out of caste. He has said this time and again. In fact, he even gave my friend's mom a lecture on how "it will cause problems in the future" lol because my friend is marrying out of caste (with consent of his parents).

If you are few of the lucky ones who's parents don't give a toots about caste, then good for you. For everyone else, including myself, we have to look at the bigger picture. I didn't say I was proud of it, in fact, I am right down ashamed of it. But, it seems that all I can do is tell them that I DON'T CARE ABOUT CASTE. Hasn't had much of an effect lol

In the end, you will marry the one you are suppose to marry, it's all about sanjog. If sanjog is with someone from a different caste, then jolly good. If not, even then, jolly good.

[Guest Guest]

I've been married three times and still haven't found the right woman

I'm not trying to make fun of you, but, aren't we suppose to find the 'right woman' BEFORE marrying them?

[Guest SERIOUS HELP]

Wjkk Wjkf!

Sangatji thank you for all of your advice, everything that everyone said really has made sense to me...well excet maybe the don't get married part as i have been married three times etc etc lol...but I have met with him for a serious chat since.

The latest is that he has told his parents that he can marry no one else but me..which is great he standing up for me Though he wants to live with his parents after marriage..I don't mind living with parents after marriage..but after all this I am thinking it willbe difficult..he doesn't see the problem.

I have bascially said he has two weeks now to turn it around as he has had roughly 2 years!!! Who am I to make ultimatems but also who is he to make me wait as he has had so long already. Now I look at it as kismet...if its meant to be it really will happen.

Thank-you sagantji you have all given me great strenght and knowing that poeple have been through similair situations makes me feel as if sagant know where I'm coming from.

Wjkk wjkf!

[Guest Chris_Latta]

I've been married three times and still haven't found the right woman

I'm not trying to make fun of you, but, aren't we suppose to find the 'right woman' BEFORE marrying them?

Who is we? A lot of things can lead to a divorce, trust me. I don't think it's a sin to marry more than once.

[sum chumaari]

He 'kidnapped' her (she was willing!) from her house, drove away together on his motorbike, being chased by parents and the police until he crossed the state border and found a priest to legitimise their marriage in a mandir. Both parents soon accepted the situation and forgave both children and looked upon the other one as a new addition to the family.

hahaha classic story! love it!