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BhForce last won the day on August 20 2023

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  1. The way that matches are normally found is via extended family. Forget your "friends". Have you put out the word to extended family? If they are of no use, go to Amritdhari sangat at the Gurdwaras in your area or even beyond. If somebody wants you to marry an "experienced" woman, you might as well not marry because she would always be "considering her options". Yeah, you're right. Take refuge in Gurbani and sangat.
  2. Why are bringing that stuff up, bro? But since you did, could you state why Baba Santa Singh decided to lower himself by bowing to an occupation force? I mean if Nadar Shah had taken possession of Akal Takhat would the Singhs have lowered themselves before him just because he had physical possession of the Akal Takhat? So, again, why did Santa Singh do it?
  3. So why do "Nihangs" accept donations from "average" Sikhs if the latter are not part of what they consider the Panth? Guru Nanak Dev ji says: ਜੇ ਓਇ ਦਿਸਹਿ ਨਰਕਿ ਜਾਂਦੇ ਤਾਂ ਉਨ੍ਹ ਕਾ ਦਾਨੁ ਨ ਲੈਣਾ ॥ If they (deesah-i) are seen by you (jaandy) going (narak-i) to hell, then you should not (lainaa) be taking (aunh) their (daan-u) charity. ਦੇਂਦਾ ਨਰਕਿ ਸੁਰਗਿ ਲੈਦੇ ਦੇਖਹੁ ਏਹੁ ਧਿਙਾਣਾ ॥ (Deykhahu) look at (ehu) this (dhinknaana) injustice;whereby (deynda) the giver goes (narak-i) to hell and (laidey) the receivers (surag-i) to heaven. p1289 OK, so why does "Dharam" Singh say the bakwas that he says? Nihangs don't preach all the stuff that he says.
  4. One question I have is how these things happen at Gurdwaras. I mean, you go to the Gurdwara, matha tek, sit in sangat, get Prasadh and go home. Or get Langar. At what point could you possibly be assaulted (I'm not saying it didn't happen). Are some children (unwisely) going into some of the various store or office rooms in various Gurdwaras? Never do that.
  5. BhForce

    Anand karaj

    The Anand Karaj is so called because when Anand Sahib is read off after the Lavan, the couple is considered married in Guru ji's eyes. Technically, that is all that is required. The 1, 2, or 3 days thing is because in the old days you couldn't simply drive 300 miles to a wedding or fly out. You had to travel there and you needed to rest for the wedding day. As well, because you didn't have modern transportation and communication, both sides took this time to get acquainted with each other because it might be the only time in a long time to be able to do so. If you want to do that for that purpose is up to you, but you don't need to be constrained by the weird Punjabi "ceremonies". Anand Sahib, then kirtan, then some katha, then ardas, then langar. And you can then go home (doli). Or have a reception if you wish. You don't have to have alcohol at the reception (or have a reception at all). But instead of thinking of things to cut away, you can just start with the Anand Karaj and not add anything else. The milni is merely the two parties meeting each other. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with that. You can say Fateh instead of taking expensive gifts from the girl's side.
  6. BhForce

    Amritdhari living

    Actually, it is. The main maryada is to remember God. See above. In no sense is waking up before dawn, bathing, and meditating opposed to meeting God! Other maryada's include bans on idol-worship and other things. Do you really think you can meet God while indulging in anti-Sikh practices? In addition, for the OP, you should know that "own-made maryada" as "Guesti" denigrates it, has the sanction of God: ਮੇਰੀ ਬਾਂਧੀ ਭਗਤੁ ਛਡਾਵੈ ਬਾਂਧੈ ਭਗਤੁ ਨ ਛੂਟੈ ਮੋਹਿ ॥ My devotee can release one bound by me, but I can release not one bound by my devotee. p1252 The saints can bind even God. The five Singhs have the power of God: ਇਕ ਸਿਖ ਦੁਇ ਸਾਧ ਸੰਗ ਪੰਜੀ ਪਰਮੇਸ਼ੁਰ॥ One is a Sikh, two are Sadh Sangat, five are God (Vaar 13/9) This maryada was made firm by Guru Gobind Singh ji in form of Panj Pyare. This is no laughing matter. For you to dismiss maryada as "own made rules" is a stunning display of ego towards the rest of the Panth, a Panth dedicated to nothing other than meeting God.
  7. BhForce

    Amritdhari living

    Gurbani says to bpth bathe and do simran. They are not opposed to each other. See above. Gurbani talks about plenty of worldy things that are necessary: For example, eating (moderately). Sleeping (moderately). Wearing clothes (moderately). Having a house. Having transportation. Being a family man. These are because we are not merely souls. We are souls in bodies. A panth is a community of people on the same path. If you want to do whatever you personally want to do, you are, by definition, not on the panth. By your own choice. Feel free to do whatever you want to do. Meanwhile, the Panth is doing exactly what Sikhs have done from the beginning: Remembering God while staying in the maryada.
  8. BhForce

    Amritdhari living

    You're wrong when you say, "there's nothing spiritual in them." Unfortunately, a lot of us fall into the pit of thinking "rules are arbitrary" and have nothing to do with spirituality. Let me sketch it out for you. I have news for you: You can't find God alone. Guru ji states again and again that God resides within Sadh Sangat: Question: ਕਿਉ ਪਿਆਰਾ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਮੁ ਮਿਲੈ ਮੇਰੀ ਮਾਈ ॥ How shall I meet my amiable Beloved, O my mother? The answer is in the very next verse: ਮਿਲਿ ਸਤਸੰਗਤਿ ਖੋਜੁ ਦਸਾਈ ਵਿਚਿ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਵਸੈ ਜੀਉ ॥੨॥ Joining the society of saints, I inquire about the track to God. In the saints congregation, the Lord God abides. p94 God resides within Sangat. The verses quoted prior make it clear that Sikhs are to go into Sangat to recite Gurbani. You've contended that you're to sit for simran without bathing. Are you seriously contending that you are to go into Sangat without bathing? Or are you going to contend you have no need for Sangat? If so, that's exactly the hankar (ego) that Guru ji warns against! So much for trying to find God.
  9. BhForce

    Amritdhari living

    No, it's not "own made maryada". The maryada of ishnaan follows from the earliest Sikh community of Kartarpur. That's what they (all did). Read Bhai Gurdas ji's description of daily Sikh routine: The Sikhs: Woke before dawn Bathed in a pool Recited the Guru's recitation Went to Sangat Sang and listed to Gurbani Met like-minded Sikhs Celebrated Guru's purbs You (or I) are not any better than those early Sikhs described by Bhai Gurdas ji.
  10. BhForce

    Amritdhari living

    Bro, it seems you've never done sangat of marayada following Singhs. What happened in our history is that a lot of people attached themselves to Sikhi who didn't have the opportunity to do such sangat and now they have to argue about "Where is it written". As I wrote above, the cloth would get wet, that's the point, it's removing water from your hair. Afterwards, you tie a fresh small dastar. Where in the world did you get that? Please, everyone, don't listen to "Guesti". Keep yourself clean, otherwise the Hindus & Muslims would be justified in calling Sikhs dirty. No, it simply is not. There is no marayada about "twice a week". The maryada is daily kesi ishnaan. If you can't do that, whatever, do what you can. But don't make up a new maryada of "twice a week."
  11. BhForce

    Amritdhari living

    You're technically correct and yet you're misleading this new seeker. Please don't try to pretend to be all holy and spiritual and that all these other hundreds of thousands of seekers who preceded you and have spiritual level that neither you nor I could dream of and yet followed the basic maryada of waking, bathing and meditating knew nothing. The way in which you're technically right is that Guru ji advises the first thing to do, immediately after waking, is to say the Gurumantar: ਸਉਦੇ ਵਾਹੁ ਵਾਹੁ ਉਚਰਹਿ ਉਠਦੇ ਭੀ ਵਾਹੁ ਕਰੇਨਿ ॥ Sleeping they utter Lord's glories and praises and awaking they say Wah. Guru Ram Dass ji, p312 The reason for this is you shouldn't be doing other stuff. Like checking your phone. Having conversations. Reading a wordly book, or whatever. The first thing you should do is remember God. And if you do sangat of any serious spiritual seekers, they will tell you this. And they'll also tell you to then go do your bathroom processes and ishnaan. The new seeker is advised to do exactly this, the way Sikh seekers have been doing it since the time of Guru Nanak ji. Not "first bathe soul" for a few hours, crusty from sleep. And then bathe? Sorry, that's crazy. And it's not maryada. And you don't love God any more because you think you can't be bothered to bathe before simran. We're not bare souls. We're souls in a body. If you think we're bare souls, why do you even eat?
  12. BhForce

    Amritdhari living

    It literally is written to bathe every single day in the morning. First of all, who wouldn't bathe every day? Second, it isn't necessary that it be written down someplace. Oral history passed down in the Sikh community is enough. But third, just for good measure, it is written and please don't deny it. See the post above by another poster: And mine, quoting Guru Ram Dass ji: Further, the same thing is written in numerous rehitnamas. If someone doesn't want to follow that, that's his choice. But please don't gaslight people into thinking "it's not written anywhere."
  13. BhForce

    Amritdhari living

    Are you talking about the "kids' patka" that people like crickter Harbhan Singh wear? You're not 5 anymore. Wear a proper small dastar, bro. You're a man.
  14. BhForce

    Amritdhari living

    Bro, everyone needs to go to work. Every Sikh ever had to go to work for the past five hundred years. They managed it, so can you. You don't "have" to wash your hair. But it's considered advisable. The main reason we don't have "time" is because we're waking up far too late. We're supposed to wake approximately one pehar (3 hours) prior to sunrise. (Check rehitnamas, Sikh history, oral history, and maryada from saints and dals.) Guru Ram Das ji says: ਗੁਰ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਕਾ ਜੋ ਸਿਖੁ ਅਖਾਏ ਸੁ ਭਲਕੇ ਉਠਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਵੈ ॥ He, who calls himself a Sikh of the Great True Guru, should rise early and meditate on God's Name. ਉਦਮੁ ਕਰੇ ਭਲਕੇ ਪਰਭਾਤੀ ਇਸਨਾਨੁ ਕਰੇ ਅੰਮ੍ਰਿਤ ਸਰਿ ਨਾਵੈ ॥ He should make efforts early in the morning take bath and have ablution in the tank of Nectar. ਉਪਦੇਸਿ ਗੁਰੂ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਜਪੁ ਜਾਪੈ ਸਭਿ ਕਿਲਵਿਖ ਪਾਪ ਦੋਖ ਲਹਿ ਜਾਵੈ ॥ By repeating Lords God's Name under Guru's instruction all his sins misdeeds and accusations are wiped off. ਫਿਰਿ ਚੜੈ ਦਿਵਸੁ ਗੁਰਬਾਣੀ ਗਾਵੈ ਬਹਦਿਆ ਉਠਦਿਆ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਵੈ ॥ Afterwards at sun rise he sings Gurbani and whilst sitting or standing he meditates in God's Name. p305 If we wake early, bathe, then do naam simran for a few hours, our hair would naturally be aired out by the time to go to work. It's because we don't follow one maryada that it seems difficult to follow another.
  15. BhForce

    Amritdhari living

    Bro, why would you even ask this? How lazy do you have to be to not want to bother to use soap? You do Jap Ji everyday. Even there, Guru Nanak Dev ji wrote about the cleaning power of soap: ਮੂਤ ਪਲੀਤੀ ਕਪੜੁ ਹੋਇ ॥ When (kaparr-u) a garment (hoey) becomes soiled with (moot) urine ਦੇ ਸਾਬੂਣੁ ਲਈਐ ਓਹੁ ਧੋਇ ॥ it is (laeeai dhoey) washed (dey) with water and (saaboon-u) soap. The point of the verse is not to give a rule about using soap, but the verse does recognize that soap cleans. Why would you even not want to bother applying soap? Water yourself. Apply soap, then water again. This is not medieval Europe where people didn't bathe!
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