Pheena

Perhaps it would be helpful giving a better advice if we knew the reasons for you not wanting a reception. but here is a general answer. Compromise. The Husband has just as much right to have a Reception after the wedding as the wife has the right to refuse to have one. Perhaps you guys can compromise on the type of event that you guys want held at the reception or find a common ground on the things you don't want to have and want to have and he do the same. Who knows maybe you will actually enjoy. Sometimes you will have to step back and sometimes he will have to. 142056[/snapback] erm....the person in question who doesnt want the reception (no hints!) ...iz because she feels its not appropriate considering she never goes to receptions/parties at any1 elses wedding and stays at darbar hall or goes home to help after everyone has come back etc.....the noise, music, dancing iz not her scene at all and wud most probably upset her. She wants simple wedding, kirtan and then lovely langar with a get together at home....no parties etc. But saying that she loves and also respects her "to be"....so she stuck! How can she compromise?? anyone???? 142107[/snapback] beloved, It seems obvious that you don't want this bump on the road to cause a big issue. How certain are you that 'he' wants the same type of a wedding you wish to have? Perhaps he is also compromising his ways to give you the wedding you wish to have. It is also obvious this is a very special day for the both of you and you will remember this day for the rest of this life so you want it to be a experience which will bring memories you will cherish. When i say compromise, it does not necessarily mean that you will have to compromise to his ways, rather it means to find a common ground between 2 individuals. After all this is a marriage between 2 people and its bidirectional. If there is still time in the wedding and reception, then i suggest you put more effort into getting your voice heard to your family and to your soon to be husband about your desire to not have a reception. You will be surprise what effort can produce, who knows maybe the will of god is the same as yours that there will be no reception at the wedding. If you are very intent in not having it, then make a stand and force the other to compromise. That day will be what you make of it. And if there is a reception, then make the best out of it, just observe the play of others, distant yourself mentally from the noise, music, dancing. Let that time be a time for a internal test for you mind. There are often times when we are placed in a position where we do not wish to be and that we are forced to turn towards God. Personally that initself is a gift for that environment produced a circumstance that made us remember our priorities of rememberance of our Beloved. I have found that i remember God most in places where i do not wish to be. Perhaps it will bring upon an experience for you that you will never forget. We believe that we should create a distance between those things that do not aid us in being more closer to god. Initially that is the best and only option. But if by chance we are place in those situations, instead of running away let those situations be a place for meditation...we cannot always live in the boundry of our safe-zone. There will come times when we will have to walk thru the places which we feel as harmful to our growth. In reality it is only when we walk thru those places that we are able to judge, analyze our progress. That even walking through them my rememberance of God did not break. That day will be what you make of it and make the best of what you are given. Beloved sister, I wish you the best of luck on your journey and may god bless you with Love, Love and nothing but Love.

Perhaps it would be helpful giving a better advice if we knew the reasons for you not wanting a reception. but here is a general answer. Compromise. The Husband has just as much right to have a Reception after the wedding as the wife has the right to refuse to have one. Perhaps you guys can compromise on the type of event that you guys want held at the reception or find a common ground on the things you don't want to have and want to have and he do the same. Who knows maybe you will actually enjoy. Sometimes you will have to step back and sometimes he will have to.

the one i've listened to is in the link below, maybe thats the same one you've listend to.. http://www.akji.org/kirtan/uk/2005/manch101205/manch101205/

^ You are told to live a GRISHTI Jeevan, not to become a Renounciate. This isn't a black and white issue. If the desire to create a much more deeper relation with your Significant Other is present, then Sex can definelty assist in the matter as the sacredness of the act itself create a vulnerability where both of the individuals can create a much more deeper bond. To surrender your body to your husband or wife is also an act of Love. The Love between 2 people is the beginning, the Sufis have called it Majaji Ishq, it is a step towards the ultimate Love of Haqiqi Ishq. Sex is at a very low level of Love, the physical connection can also produce spiritual experiences, but this happens on a very rare occasion and even so is more dependent on the individuals. As there are possibilites of greater good thru a Sexual Relationship between 2 married couple then as there are dangers. The danger obviously are when this Love becomes confined to the Sexuality and creates an addiction where Sex becomes a necessity rather than an expression of a deep Love and surrender. I have posted this many times before, and here it is again:

let your mind not think in terms of a punishment, rather direct your mind towards compassion and say He will recieve Kirpa from the Guru one day so that he is able to remove his/her ignorance.

happy birthday veer, how is the housing issue working for ya?

hahahaha i skimmed over your post the first time..but after reading it again.....tatti...damn I did didn't I, my apologies veer.....but mine sounds better neways

I agree with Diamond Singh, the more you 'keep your distant' the greater hope will remain in his heart. Let him know straight up, if he values your friendship more than his desire to want you as his Girlfriend then he will be appreciative that you guys cleared the air. Although it might makes thigns ab it more difficult to hang our or stuff, but regardless it is better to be straight with the other person than to keep avoiding the inevitable situations making it more uncomfortable for the both of you and to keep him hanging. EDIT: Thoughts influenced..well more than just influenced..i'd say more like taken from Diamond Singh and republished. Hows that veer

Isn't it ironic veer ji that you used the smilie to ask a question if it is ok to bow??

Try postin gon Sikhportal.com as well...you might find more options there and possibly someone closer to your desired location. again no stressin veer, you are in good hands. Its just a minor setback, it'll be resolved.

no worries veer ji, you will find a place Trust him. i'd welcome you to me home, but being in texas might be a pretty big commute.

that works as well....good advice..

I don't think it has to do with lack of sleep, unless you don't get your regular sleep and you are sleepy before you start doing padth. Its more mental than anything, because if it was sleep then why doesn't it happen when we are talking with someoen or watching t.v. It is just another trap set by our mind. Next time you begin to yawn, become totally aware of your yawning, and seperate yourself from the yawning. It might sound wierd, but trust me it work. The moment your mouth begins to open, become aware that you are yawning and take a step back, don't force yourself not to yawn, but just observe your yawning. You will know you are observing correctly when the need to yawn dissappears but your mouth will remain open as if nothing was happening. But let us not confuse the need to yawn as a function of the body with the Laziness/Yawning that we feel during Simran/Jap etc. If you are tired, then you should be tired before your Jap as well, not just begin to feel tired as you start. The mind is cunning.

Perhaps you should give a try and provide an answer to your liking. :lol:

don't misunderstand me veer, there isn't anything wrong with missing someone you love and especially your mother. I too have missed my mother greatly at time when i was away from her, but for me personally at the same time i understood that one day she will be gone from this world what will i do then? Every moment i spend with her is a Gift and i tresure that gift. I hug her, i kiss her, i do seva of her. So i know the moment she leaves the door or i leave to head back home she leaves with greater love in her heart and as do I. Your mother came to visit you and that is just beautiful. Just as she arrived one day, you knew that she would also leave one day and she did. Let us not show great sorrow, instead be greatful that you were able to share your days and love with her. Trust me In a few days you will feel better. :lol:

Where did you mom go? Love her with the freedom not attachment and occupy yourself in other means...go out to the gym, visit friends or something.

On a similar note: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/...51110215950.htm So then what is Grey Matter in our Brain: http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/greymatter.html The Grey Matter regions of the central nervous system (CNS), the brain and spinal cord, contrast with the white matter regions. The grey matter is the areas where the actual "processing" is done whereas the white matter provides the communication between different grey matter areas and between the grey matter and the rest of the body. The vast majority of multiple sclerosis lesions occur in the white matter areas but a small number, about 5%, do occur within the grey matter. The grey matter is so-called because in section it has a grey colour due to all the grey nuclei in the cells that make it up. In fact, in the living body, grey matter is pink. The neurons in the grey matter consist of neuronal cell bodies and their dendrites, the short protrusions that communicate with immediately neighbouring neurons in the CNS. In contrast with the neurons of the white matter, grey matter neurons do not contain long axons that transmit the nerve impulses to more distant regions of the CNS. About 40% of the human brain is made up of gray matter whereas 60% is white matter. However the gray matter consumes about 94% of the total oxygen used by the brain.

'Believe' in the Will of God and whatever happens it happens according to this will. You need not 'believe' in any other power. I think the correct question is, does Black Magic exist? and if you don't 'Believe' in it does it or can it still effect you? In my opinion we can be influenced by the sheer power of thought of another. Remember the key word "influenced" not ruled or dictated. You are easily influenced when you have a weak mind that is easiy directed by the power of suggestion of another. A child has a very powerful imagination which can conjure up a character that is non-existant, but to that child it exists and is the cause of either happiness or frear. The Mind is such a tool that when a suggestion that Black Magic has been placed on his family or whatsoever, the mind becomes the multiplier of the so called Black Magic by the sheer power of its imagination and for that person it becomes a reality. The mind begins to project fear, weakness, it begins to lose confidence in the source. By a mere thought of Black Magic, the non-existant power becomes a reality for that mind. Just as people often get sick by the mere suggestion that they are going to get sick. A True seeker knows there is no Power greater than the Power of the Lord. If you have Faith and more so TRUST in that power then no other power can influence you because you have Surrendered to the Greatest Magician. No amount of Black Magic can misguide you, for it is he who is the ruler of our Destiny.

Dhan Guru veer ji, Dhan Guru...

well i was there as well, i just saw your picture floating on the net and i saw you there. just was wondering if you were the same person. :lol:

The attachment of the body carries a great burdon on the soul. As the body dies the attachment carries over for a quite a while with the soul. The burning of the body is a sign to the soul to move on. In hindu mat there are even further rituals where a vase is broken by the head of the dead body to given an example to the soul that the shell is broken, now you must leave, move on with your journey. It is also a reason why you will not see that many Ghosts haunting in the Eastern societies who burn the dead as oppose to the Western who bury their deceased. Because the body is still there the attachment of the Soul remains with the body and it becomes difficult to move on. There are also reasons why occult Witchcraft practices are generally done in Graveyards as there remain great amount of souls and spirits that have not moved on that can be called upon. There remain greater amount of possibility in attaining occult powers. The body serves no purpose (excluding organ donation) after the soul has left it. The Christians bury the dead because of their beliefs that one day Jesus will come they will rise from the dead.

hey bro, were u at LA samagam recently??

Rajneesh himself got it wrong! You are totally right It Oan not OM ... people just want to propagate that Sikhi is just another sect of Hinduism. However, Rajneesh interpretation and understanding of Japji Sahib is excellent even though slight contradictions of interpretation here and there on his part. 137891[/snapback] No one is propogating anything. Oankar is another manifestation of OM or vice-versa, as is Omni(potent). It is as universal as is Gravity. If newton found Gravity it does not mean it belonged to the western civilization or Christianity. If the Rishis discovered this Duni, it does not mean it belongs to them ie: hinduism. It is a universal dicovery which belongs to everyone. To Guru Nanak Dev ji, it was revealed as Oankar, not Omkar. Let us Stop discriminating and let the dicovery be equally potent and sacred in its own identity and realization. Can anyone here Translate both Omkar and Oankar and tell me where does this universal Dhuni becomes Hindu and Sikh?

veer ji, you must have missed this sentence of mine in the previous post, "I too disagree with much of what he says because it is unconventional and seems irresponsible coming from a man who has realized God." What you have stated in regards to the story about covering his head is simply your guesswork and opinion, just as it is mine when i speak from a prespective different from the one you took. Just as i originally posted when this thread was first created, There is no way for us to Truely know what his intentions were. If you feel that with whatever recorded text you have is enough for you to deem him heretic or bad or whatever, then i suppose it is for you. I on the other hand will not jump to labeling anyone anything until i fully understand their intentions. Which in this case no one will ever know. Perhaps you are right he said it just to create an arguement. He himself has said many times he enjoyed arugying with other or perhaps he said it just to show how quickly can people turn one into their Guru and if by few words when they are offended they turn to kill him. Your guess is just as good as mine. The only difference is i leave the window open to learn more about him while i assume you have already closed the case on him. Perhaps i will come to the point where you are and see what you see of him, perhaps i will not.

Well put veer.