DaljitKaur24

So this might be irrelevant to this topic but I thought Baba Vadhbhag ji was part of Sikhi. I went there at the gurdwara last year and according to the big chart they had is that he was part of Guru Arjun Dev's family. Pls correct me if I'm wrong. I know that there is this dauli dhar where the spirits and stuff come out which i saw infront of my eyes. So my question is Dera Baba Vadhbhag JI part of of Sikhi?

Yea I see your point. I wouldn't want to look like the only one that wants to end this. And if I bring this up that's what the people around me will think. Like his personality is like this:to an outsider he's such a sweet, humble, and cultured guy but they don't really know the truth about him. So if something was to happen like a divorce no one would point their fingers at him because of this personality he portrays in front of outsiders. Thanks for that suggestion.

You made a very valid point but I'm not sure after everything that has happened between us its possible or if it will do any good. But definitely I would be willing to try that out. I don't want to give up on this relationship but also don't want to be the only one trying to make this relationship work. Hopefully he will open to trying this out to save our marriage. Lets see. I think it's a great idea about renewing your vows. I've always have loved that concept and I believe that it helps to renew and rebuild the relationship.

I have met him couple times personally in india when i was little. Hes somehow related to my mumz family. I personally really liked him as a human being.

Oh sorry i just did that due to the part being from amritsar and all.

That's really great step! I'm proud to be from Amritsar!! lolz

Counseling part I'm not so sure lolz. Since he's only been here about a year and half his english is pretty much next to nothing! And no way i'm gonna translate lol. So when you say take hukamnama for advice...so basically ask the paathhi ji to take the hukamnama or I personally do it myself at the gurdwara? That's a great idea actually!

Well I'm pretty sure waiting around for 2.5 years is definitely not acting hastily!!

Well we both have our flaws. Yes I committed some mistakes in the past and so has he but he doesn't seem to get over that. If I can forgive and forget I don't understand why he can't. I have went in front of Guruji and asked for forgiveness and gone forward with my marriage but he thinks that's not enough. That Guruji isn't going to forgive just like that. Anyways so pretty much my parents and buwa ji(she's the vicholan) knows about every fight that has happened between us but his side of the family doesn't really know anything. And no we don't have kids and yea i do where your coming from that we need to resolve our personal issues first before having more problems on our plates! He's been in the U.S for year and half now and we were living with my parents and last week out of nowhere he told me we are getting our own place and that we will have less fights and our relationship will definitely grow. Well wrong...I'm not sure what goes on his mind and what the heck he's planning. One of my best friend was like maybe he's just waiting for the P.R and really has no intention of working out the relationship. I've made a decision last night when I was at the gurdwara sahib that I'm only going to wait one more month and watch how he behaves and acts. If I see any improvement then great otherwise I'm throwing the towel, I just can't take it anymore. I would need to get out of it for my sanity. Whenever we have fights I get really <Edited> and I don't want to be in that place. I hope Guru ji can do kirpa on him and maybe he can change in this one month period.

I wish I can but most of the older Gursikhs I know are going to be judgemental so I'm actually scared to bring up this topic to them. And yea your right about making me stronger I do feel that. I've been through alot and it makes me feel that I can cross any hurdle.

Well i just turned 24 and i feel like i have been through pretty much everything that an older couple goes through!

Thank you everyone for the reply. The reason i dont want to talk to an older gursikh is that i have already tried and received the same response. They all say do paath and guru ji will do kirpa. What i dont understand is that why is our society still stuck at the fact the girl should bow down and do as the husband says? Why is it only the wives duty to obey everytime? Sometimes i just feel those who have been raised or been born in the western world should not marry someone from India. No matter what the issue personalities and thinking clashes. I was very open minded about marrying someone from India but i didnt realize that we would be so opposite. And yes i do feel at some point i do act more western than indian in certain situations or matters but is that a crime if i grew up in the US and lived around only "white" people up till the age of 16? I have bowed down and looked for answers from guru ji all the time and especially now that i have been married but i feel i am disappointed each time. My parents have always taught me that you only get married once and i have always believed that too and thats why i keep trying to fix this marriage even though it feels like were on the edge of the cliff now.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh, Sangat ji first i would like to say if a topic like this has been posted before plz guide me to that. Thanks. So lately i have been wondering what is Sikhi's take on a divorce? I know that we are not supposed to. But im wondering is there in any event those rules can be changed in order to get a divorce and will Guru ji be unhappy with that decision? In what circumstances can a divorce take place in Sikhism without being punished by guru ji? Is the individual allowed to get married again? Plz im only looking for serious answers and this topic is not a joke for me.

I wish i was joking. Totally true. This was the day after the vaisakhi nagar kirtan this year at surrey, canada. Its kind of funny since alot of the people attending the wedding were gursikh. People are just so stupid because just for movie footage they disrespect our Guru ji.

Why are taking there karas off at pe? I have been going to school here in the US since 4th grade where there were no sikhs or indians at all and i explained to the principal i need to keep this on for religious purposes and i was never asked to take it off. The parents should take the iniative to tell the school district, teacher, principals that it shouldnt be required to be taken off.

Good for you! That might teach him a lesson or so.

Also there is nothing wrong with tying the beard. I know you are supposed to keep it open. My cousin whos in india is ameit dhari and hes a police officer but has to tie his beard. If it isnt allowed in our own country to leave the beard open than i think its not fair to point the fingers at those who do tie it over here. My dad was diagnosed with cancer and hes a full amrit dhari and never drank, eat meat, or cut his hair has to tie his beard now because of the effect of chemotherapy. One side of the beard did not fully develop as the other side did so he has to keep it tied. If an outsider like you looks at it your obviously going to think that hes not a full amrit dhari since he tied hos beard. We shouldnt be wuick to judge others there might be some reason behind their act.

I think as far as wearing the joora back of the head some guys do it because thats how they wear their paghs. I know my husband whenever he wears a pagh he kind of flattens the joora because he says it helPs with the pagh lOoking good. I dont think theres anything wrong with that they are just enhancing and embracing the pagh and still not cutting their hair. But i do agree that ive seen some amrit dharis eating meat and drinking thats totally disrespectful. I feel like im a half sikh because i cut my hair but i dont eat meat or drink and i love guru ji but im not mentally ready to take amrit and i ask guru ji that if and when i take amrit i want to make sure i can toatally fulfill it.

What I have heard is that its to aid the bride because obviously of the heavy jewelry and dress and also the fact that shes probably very emotional and need the support. But i know that te granthi jis tell the people to let the bride and groom do the phere by themself but especially here in the western world nobody listens. I dont feel they are supporting her becuz of the heavy jewelry and dress but in a way its just become a trend and people think its looks good in video and picz. I personally believe they shouldnt be there for support unless its needed. Ive seen alot of weddings here in the US and the guys line up to support the bride when she doesnt really need te support because shes all smiling and looking around. But then again people just do alot of things here in weddings tht usually arent done in india. Some of it is actually sickening. Like at one wedding in Canada i went to bridesmaids were being walked into the hall by the groomsfriends with arms through each others arm. Its like come on ppl ur in a pavitar Gurdwara Sahib dont be doing tht in there and be disrespectful of GGS. I went fron here and got married in India and we did the phere by ourself. It actually felt good because thats how it should be but i guess everyones perception is different! Sorry if i have offended anyone.

So has anyone else hear about guru nanak ji's photo being placed on a gutka pack? And the word Giani is also on there? I turned on the tv today and was watching Aaj DA Mudda by Harvinder Singh Riar and he was talking about this. People just keep disgracing Sikhi and its disgrace to us Sikhs. Why is media and the non sikhs trying to instigate Sikhs once again? What are your thoughts in this?

Great post!!

It's an amazing gurdwara sahib. We had the chance to stay there for couple days when we were in Delhi for the embassy back in 97. Theres so much history in that gurdwara sahib and so much to see. I believe there was a well there also where guru ji used to take a bath? I'm not positive my memory is a little foggy since it has been like 12+ years and I was little at the time.Thanks for sharing these pics brought back great memories from our stay there.

I agree with the above comment. People in India don't have the same understanding, love, and respect for sikhi as people in foreign countries do. I'm not trying to say all the Sikhs in India are bad but there's no respect of sikhi of gurdwaras as over here. This video I just sickening to watch. I'm not Amrit thaari but I have a lot of respect for our religion and seeing some elderly with long beards doing bhangra in front of guru ji is so humiliating. There's so much pakhand in India because of how easily people are lured away from guru ji.

Amazing pictures!

Thanks for posting this I was about to post it the other day. Whenever I try to do paath I concentrate in the beginning and then my mind starts to wander off to other issues that are happening in life. I feel so guilty doing paath like this when I'm easily able wander off to unimportant things on life and not focus on my paath. I would also love it if someone gives any suggestions as it will help me nd hopefully others to come closer to guru ji. Thanks