^^ Good Post.
To the original poster;
The way i see it you've encountered some difficult times, and you think god was responsible and was 'punishing' you for some reason. And for this reason you know there is a God, you say you're scared of God?
Its mahrajs kirpaa that you have this desire to do seva and simran, its mahraj who is taking care of you, its mahraj who clothes you, feeds you, looks after you everyday, mahraj never forgets you, he would never punish you or cause you pain. We all go through hard times as a result of our karme, we all get down etc, but we have to pick oursleves up. Dont blame God, blame ourselves. Realise that mahraj is the only one who loves you truly. The more you continue to read mahrajs baani, you will develop piaar slowly.
If you dont want to do ardas, dont no ones forcing you. Ardas should come from your heart, not just mechanically. When you feel all these doubts etc, talk to mahraj. What ever answers you're looking for, you wont get them from here, only from God.
You said: <<<if i love GOD so i shouldn't eat non veg.alcohol,smoke.cut hair.it' all symbol to show i don't love him>>
So your saying because you do these things it means you dont love God, or you do these things to show that you dont love God?
<<<lots of people don't need to do ARDAAS and SIMRAN+SEVA they have good life to live>>>
I beleive its not possible to have a ''good life'' without simran and seva. Like i said previously it seems like ur just going thru a bad path but dont blame mahraj and push him away, instead turn to God.
Gurfateh jee