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  1. So I am 16 and was blessed with khande di pauhl exactly 1.5 months ago at anandpur sahib. Before that, I practiced everything a khalsa would do. nitnem, chastity, naam abhyas, etc. I have a pretty good image in public and people. Before, i felt like guru is very much near me, but now I feel like i am being seperated from him. I still do nitnem but i really want to defeat kaam and other evils. I read other threads but I feel like this is the only option left. I quit social media for 6 months but now my manmukh mind is back at it. I have committed no kurehit. Please tell me my amrit is not broken.
  2. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh So I stay in India, and have been working in this organization as a software engineer for around more than 7 years now. The org is somewhat small , with around 150 people I think at most. It has felt really comfortable working with these guys. They're decently nice guys, atleast the boss I interacted with the most (he's director and cofounder of the org). I remember this job was a miracle from waheguru ji. I got it when I needed it the most. And a miracle had happened at that time. HR manager had kind of rejected me in the final round as he had better candidates, then this director guy had for some reason taken compassion on me and agreed to give me this job. The director instructed the HR manager to extend the offer letter to me, much to the HR manager's dislike. That was his favor on me. I was deployed on client site as a fresher. I couldn't impress the manager there and she ended up firing me back to my company in 2 months. Now the director could have fired me from the company itself for failing to make it on the client site, and this has actually happened with few. But he chose to extend his compassion again for god-knows-what reason and gave me another on-hold project to me which again was a nice learning experience. The client manager was dissatisfied with me here too, but for some reason tolerated me as I was a naive fresher. He helped me get out of a client who wanted to absorb me and wouldn't release me. This organization didn't fire single employee during covid times. And even gave everyone hike. I got a generous hike since last 2 years. They even gave me money for extra project I did. Now fast forward to July 2022, for some reason client side manager asks 3 of us to leave (not for performance reasons at all). My friend scrambled quickly and got a job for himself. I did a bit late and got offers but by that time client had released some purchase order to my company. And director didn't want to release me quick without me serving notice period. I was a bit uneasy because at the other org I said I would be joining in a month. I ended up calling the director too many times, and a few missteps that ended up him pissed off at my anxious behavior. I kind of fell out of favor from him, but still he was trying for my sake to reduce my notice period. I was still anxious , and kept on following him desperately "humbly requesting" him all the time over mails. He said he had given commitment to the client. I could sense his desperation too but the child in me wanted what it wanted. I don't know what was the final straw but he ended up giving me an exit by end of this month (september 2022) . I got what I wanted , but at what cost ? Was I an ungrateful person for not supporting my director when he needed me the most? Have I been an akirtghan ? Have I sown bad karmas for my future ? I do feel guilty a lot, and even thinking of paying him back via cash for 2 months salary, but I don't know if I did him a bigger loss than my 2 months salary.
  3. Dear Sikhsangat. I've been in a terrible predicament for the past year, and it just seems to get worse every day. Before putting forth my question(s), I'd want to acknowledge a few significant facts: 1. I'm a Keshdari Singh and I only eat vegetarian food (I have not been baptized). 2. I pose a selfish enquiry (i.e., I have selfish motives). 3. Everything in my existence is unclear to me. I was raised in a typical family and have led a typical life. However, I'm now faced with a challenge that, if it's not fixed right away, would lead to my early and unavoidable demise. It has recently come to my attention that both scientists and clever people view religion as a coping strategy used by the weak or, more specifically, as a result of human weakness. I am unable to understand how some people with high IQs and exceptional talent can succeed in whatever they do without the aid of God. Mant do not refrain from swearing, wicked deeds, etc. This also holds true for evildoers who injure others, have killed countless people, yet continue to live peacefully.Genghis Khan, Stalin, Trump, and other tyrants are only a few examples (Castro, Pol pot). Why do these people choose not to learn about or remain in a relationship with God while continuing to live lives of wealth and intelligence that are above average? I'm not sure how a just deity could do something like this. Why do the powerful oppress the weak? My life has turned into a misery I can't even begin to describe. I feel as though I shouldn't be here. I frequently observe my peers doing dirty deeds and acting clever yet still get great grades. I'm just a hollow shell of the person I once was. But this one query has prevented me from making any progress whatsoever in life. My childhood is a dim memory of following the crowd and generally being stupid. Whenever I try to practise Sikhi, I see things like these and question whether a god actually exists. In life, I'm stumbling. Every corner will reveal surprises. I am an feeble person. Every endeavour I attempt in life—studying, using reasoning, etc.—fails. I'm not saying anything out of passion or in the heat of the moment, and I don't want to evoke sympathy or empathy, but because of my infantile nature, I might "end it all" since this life is intolerable and I can no longer go on living. This form is my only hope because the world is so incredibly overwhelming and terrible. I'll ask the same question again. Why would God give individuals a high IQ when he knows they won't believe in or obey him? Why wasn't I given this information if God is just and fair? This implies that there may not be a god and that life is unfair. Do the weak have anything to rely on? In life, everyone is intoxicated by something. I haven't been able to find anything that satisfies my need for an answer. I worry about unexpectedly leaving this existence.I feel out of place everywhere; some individuals enjoy learning, while some follow a philosophy, while others believe in something else entirely. What hope should I entertain? Please accept my sincere apologies. I appreciate your guidance. Help Khalsa ji if you can. My only hope is in you. I grew up in a normal household and have led a normal life. However, I am confronted with a problem that, if not resolved quickly, will result in my untimely and unavoidable death.It has recently come to my attention that scientists and intelligent people alike associate religion with the weak, or rather, as a coping mechanism due to human weakness. However, I cannot come to comprehend the fact that there are people who are very gifted with high IQ's who excel at everything without the need of God. They do not do simran, swear, do bad deeds, etc. This also applies to bad people who cause harm to others, have killed countless people, and yet continue to live in peace.Examples include, but are not limited to, Genghis Khan, Stalin, Trump, and dictators (Castro, Pol pot).Why is it that I have to learn about and stay with God but these people do not and still go on to live lives of riches and extraordinary IQ? I can't possibly fathom a just god doing this. Why do the strong trample on the weak? Every single day of my life has become a misery I cannot convey in words. I feel like I should not exist. I always see classmates doing the worst of the worst and still passing with high grades. I am merely an empty shill of what used to be a human being. But this one question has blocked me from progressing in life at all. My childhood is a distant memory consisting of me doing what others did and being stupid overall. Any time I try to follow Sikhi, I witness such events and wonder if there really is a god. I am flailing in life. Expect surprises at every turn.I am a degenerate. I always fail at everything in life; studies, logic, etc. I do not wish to draw pity nor empathy and am by no means saying anything based on emotions or the heat of the moment, but due to my childish nature, I may "end it all" as this life is unbearable and I can live no further. The world is so very daunting and terrifying that this form is my only hope. I will reiterate my question once more. Why does God provide people with a high IQ, knowing they are not going to believe or follow him? Why was I not provided with such knowledge if God is just and fair? This means that life is unfair and that there may be no god. Do the weak have anything to rely on? Everyone is drunk on something in life. Nothing has satisfied my desire for an answer to my question. I am afraid of suddenly leaving this world. I feel out of place everywhere, some people love studying, other adhere to a philosophy, some something, and others other things, what hope should I entertain? Please forgive me everything. Thank you for your help. Please help Khalsa ji. You are my only hope.
  4. Wjkk Wjkf I popped a spot on my face and some kes come off from face. I don't if that's a bujjar kurehat which means I have to take amrit again. Can someone help and tell if I have to. I didn't try to pull any kes and I don't remember fully if I did or if it fell off.
  5. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji Ki Fateh I am a 20 year old girl living in Canada with my parents. A few years ago, we went to visit family back in India where I met my childhood bestfriend who I grew up playing with (they were our neighbors). When I came back to Canada, we started talking and became really close. When my parents found out I talk to him, they got extremely mad, threatened to kick me out of the house, and said I was gonna ruin their “izzat” in society. I don’t understand what I am doing wrong. I only lived in India for a few years of my life so how is this wrong? My dad says that everyone in same pind are siblings... but we are not related in any way, I am pretty sure my grandparents moved to this pind when they were younger from another place. I have been talking to him for 2 years now and we are each other’s happy place. I don’t know how I get my parents to understand, I have no one to talk to about this. Don’t know what to do. Just found this page, someone please help :(
  6. Hi All, I'll try to keep this brief but I'm basically posting this for those in need of help in relation to alcohol/drugs/addiction with the aim of helping those in need. My story in a nutshell: I grew up in your typical punjabi cultured family. My mum has always been spiritual and dad has always been a drinker. My mum had me going to the Gurdwara from a young age and the knowledge has always been instilled within me. Unfortunately, as I grew older my crowd changed. I did well in terms of achieving a degree and a good job but I had also drank heavily during my uni years and started using drugs. My life turned upside down whilst I was stuck in this and I couldn't find or see a way out. I was emotional spiritually and financially dead. I was searching for help and didn't know where to go. A few years back I found sikhsangat online and started posting on here with the hope that I could find some answers and guidance to get myself spiritually connected again and remove myself from the darkness. Many people helped me on here but unfortunately that alone was not enough to keep me sober. Yesterday I logged on to here after 3-4 years off this site. I logged on because I wanted to help others out there who are suffering. I am sober, clean and could not have asked for a better life. Im still in disbelief at times that I managed to turn my life around. Everything is possible with waheguru in your heart. Couple of things I just wanted to say to the users on this forum: Thank you for all your help and guidance when I was on here before. This site saved my life and pulled me out of suicidal states many times. People on here gave me hope and pointed me in the direction of waheguru. Without any of that, I would not be where I am today. If your struggling with any sort of addiction, please reach out to me and message me. There is help for everyone out there. Everything will remain anonymous if you wish. Equally, if your confident sharing your identity, I am in the midlands area and can meet up to talk, help and give guidance. You might ask yourself why am I doing this? i'm doing this to give back to people the same way people gave to me in my hour of need. There is no costs and no judgement. I hope that I can be of service to those in need - I would be happy to give you my story in more detail so you can identify and realise that your not alone. Waheguru
  7. How would you go about letting your parents know you wanted to move it out in the future? I care for them, but they are somewhat controlling and clingy and can drain your energy often if you stay around them too much with all the arguing, and personal unhappiness/dukh and sometimes bitterness they carry with them. There's not much space where you can avoid them when they're not in a good mood and try to farm and keep your own peace internally and there isn't much privacy or space to act independently and it feels like I'm not free. Like I can't really go anywhere without them asking to know where I went, or if I achieve something (small or big) or try to build some routine/habit, they can't help themselves from telling other people despite me telling them not to do that many times. So one quick example, I started a diet plan like 2 weeks ago to start getting into shape and told them not to tell anyone else. They didn't agree with my actual diet plan and weren't too happy that I wasn't following their ideas. I started having like 1-2 rotis max per meal and I wouldn't have roti if the sabji wasn't high in protein like gobi, or gajara and I would make something else for myself instead plus I would go light on the gyo which always ticked them off and there would always be some argument whenever that happened. A few weeks later at a familly event they tell everyone I am dieting and all these uncles I don't know start giving their advice. I was mad because it seemed my parents were trying to get some revenge on me for not following their advice of having more roti and gyo by telling them something I told them not to share and they seemed to enjoy it somewhat. I really like my privacy and would rather keep as much as I can to myself. I don't really want anyone to know what I am doing because then your always being watched and everyone knows the cards in your hands and since I can't really trust people to keep anything private, I don't feel free at all and while I do what I can, I can feel the drainage of having to constantly resist this part of their nature to somewhat control and keep me codependent. How much more could I do/accomplish if I didn't have to dedicate energy against my parents or if they weren't frequently draining it. This is one small and example and on its own it's really a nothing, but all these small nothings add up and lead to bigger things, and I've noticed this is common in our community and it happens to some of my cousins as well. Maybe it's the parents way of carrying their children as their trophies, but the bigger problem is I think deep down that I won't be able to develop properly as an adult if I keep living with them for my entire life or atleast if I never venture out on my own once. I plan on helping them when they get older cause they're my parents and really do want good for them or atleast I think I do, and I may temporarily move in with them or have them move in with me if I want to spend more time with them or their health starts go do down cause time changes everything. But, from previous experiences of trying to help them deal with their problems I noticed that they will very quickly try to depend on me to fix their problems and in a sense try to drown me with them. I already somewhat made it out once thanks to maharaj's kirpa, so I don't want to be pulled back in but I don't want them to drown either, so I think the best I can do for them is to lend them a stick and help them from a distance, but if they don't take help then there's nothing more that I can really do for them. I think the idea of their children moving out makes them angry/sad and it's more a storm of a bunch of different emotions mixed in at once with some attachment-clingy or dependency kind of love and maybe some sense of needing to control. I tried dropping hints to test a reaction and it didn't go well. For now, I try to keep my own peace internally and not let them drain it or let their negativity rub off on me so that the cycle ends with them and so if I become a father in the future, my kids won't see those negative aspects of my parents reflected through me and they hopefully benefit from that and can go further down the line morally for their future legacy. But, of course there's still days where it feels overwhelming to deal with it and it's always affecting other areas of my life and in those moments of weakness, I go back to guru sahib to get some more strength to hold the fort and I carry on trying to remove all bitterness/ negativity from my own mind and try instead to fill my mind with peace and coolness by sometimes doing simran while allowing myself to just feel grateful for everything I have as deeply as I can allow, for even these simple clothes that I wear now or the blankets that keep me warm at night are god's blessings. I want to be that person in a group who simply by just being around you feel that same pure energy in your own mind which gives you some temporary relief to your own suffering and gives you hope for your own life. It's kind of like what I am feeling right now, but I want to be overflowing with this energy, this sukh from naam. There's not enough people like that in the world and the few who are have to be extremely cautious not to be swarmed and overwhelmed by the dukhs of other people and again be thrown back into the same mess they escaped in the first place and become loaded with dukh all over again. What would you guys advise as parents or children would be the best way to deal with all this? Do I really need to live with my parents their entire lives to take care of them even if I intend to help them later in their times of most need? How would you guys balance this drive for independence and also responsibility to care for your parents as an independent adult? Did you guys go through similar things? Any general advice, or tips from experience? All appreciated.
  8. WJKK WJKF So while studying at university I had become such a disgusting person, doing what most boys do, when they are surrounded by the wrong people. NO excuse I did all these things and they still go on around in my mind but with Maharaj Kirpa I have learnt that this world won’t bring me the bliss I am after if I forget waheguru, so since been home for over 1.5 years.. I have taking my medicine … doing more naam Simran and trying to get closer to waheguru .. I haven’t drank alcohol or done drugs in over a year, started growing my Kesh and become better at controlling the 5 vices, I am still nothing however. During my time at university I decided to get a tattoo that is a interpretation of gurbani . It reading in English as “from her were born the kings “.. it is quite small and I have now understand that I have done some beadbi by getting gurbani tattoo on myself. I got it when my grandmother passed away but I realise now I only got this tattoo to fuel my ego . I understand that only Maharaj can forgive me.. but if I ever get blessed to take Amrit and i am thinking of getting the tattoo covered or removed before I do this. Any thoughts on if I should get it removed or covered ? please forgive me for any mistakes I have made
  9. Gurfateh, I am suffering a lot by nightfall problem, I do my nitnem and mool mantar jaap. Brought many expensive medicine but nothing cure the problem. Any help pls, feel like dying..
  10. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Basics of Sikhi urgently needs help, it only has enough money to last 3-4 months! Basics of Sikhi has helped spearhead Parchaar of Sikhi online. The parent organization “Everythings 13” has multiple projects which include not only Parchaar, but also training the first generation of western Parchaariks, creating content for the children of the Panth, countering anti Sikh propaganda in the media, and spreading the message of Sikhi to the world. Organizations such as Basics of Sikhi are currently playing an important role in the survival of the Sikh Dharam. Basics of Sikhi is more important than any single Gurdwara, because without organizations such BoS, there won’t be anyone to use all these big and fancy Girdwara’s that we like to throw money at. It’s time to invest in the community, which will only generate more returns in the future! Basics of Sikhi had a very major role in my, and many other Sikhs lives. I know for a fact that if it wasn’t for that famous Jagraj vs Dhawa Man video, that I would have never be inspired to become a Sikh, and would just be some Punjabi Boi who plays video games on YouTube. I personally know a lot of Sikhs and families who had their entire lives changed by BoS. I am not getting paid to say this message, I’m just an average Sikh who is trying to do my part. It is my request that you all donate to Basics of Sikhi. If you don’t have the money, then try to donate your time, but in both cases, please share this message EVERYWHERE!
  11. Guest

    Amritdhari eyebrows

    I am amritdhari, my eyebrows are pretty bushy and a monobrow too, sometimes I want to just trim them but I refrain myself. Are there any way I can make them naturally look better?
  12. So as a teenager, hormones are in full effect. And I’m not going to act like there aren’t beautiful girls around the world I feel attracted to. I am confused on masturbation, is it fine to do in Sikhism? I know that the main problem everyone has with masturbation is Lust. And from seeing different opinions from people, I am confused. Lust is the bad part because it makes you forget Naam. But doesn’t watching YouTube or a movie make you technically forget Naam too? The first thing I do in the morning is to pray to God and talk with God. Everyday I feel like I remember God and Naam. So I am confused on what is bad about masturbation done moderately. If forgetting Naam is a reason, don’t I do the same thing when watching tv or playing a sport or when I’m in school? Say this, If I daily pray and talk with God and remember God, is it bad for me to masturbate moderately to attractive girls in Sikhism? Because I feel like I remember God everyday. People say The bad part of Lust is forgetting Naam but I am confused, aren’t I technically forgetting Naam while doing things that take my full attention for example like school, sports, movies. Can I balance my sexual life and my religious within Sikhism? I mean no disrespect, just curious.
  13. Guest

    —— and Lust?

    So allow me to introduce my self (anonymously) I am a 16 year old boy. In Sikhism Lust is considered a sin. But I have been confused. People say ——- is wrong because of Lust. Lust is a sin because it takes your mind away from God, basically it makes you forget about God. And that is why it is considered a sin. And that is why I don’t ————-. But, I am confused because if Lust is considered a sin because it makes you forget about God, then isn’t technically anything that makes you forget God a sin? For example When I play video games, I tend to forget about God, but not permanently, I forget about God while playing video games, but playing video games isn’t a sin. But Lust makes you forget about God and me playing video games does too. So what’s the difference between those two. I know this discussion is all over the place , so let me simple it down. I ask kindly for people to answer these questions 1. As a Sikh, do we have to constantly think about God, like every second or minute of the day? 2. What’s the difference between temporary forgetting God through Lust and temporarily forgetting God through other things such as Video Games, watching movies, doing Homework, playing a intense sport, etc. ? 3. ——- 4. ——- 5. finally, is forgetting God while doing other things, is forgetting God during those times a sin? 6. Finally, If forgetting God is the sin then Do I have to remember God every second or minute of the day? Or can I remember God throughout the day while spending time doing other things ? To everyone I mean no disrespect, I am just confused and curious. Please don’t ignore this form.
  14. Guest

    Kirpan Help

    I am really lost and I truly regretting a decision I made a few months back of no longer wearing a kirpan while I wear all my other kakkars. I took amrit at a young age and my love for sikhi is still strong and everything was fine until the past year around when I reached 17 to 19 years of age. I got mixed with the wrong crowd and lost track of my nitnem although i did not take part in any activity including doing drugs or kaam. Just a few month back out of shame I stopped wearing my kirpan since I felt guilty for not doing my nitnem while wearing my kirpan. It didn't sit well with me to portray my bana when I had no bani. Since then I hav started to get back on track and doing my nitnem and correcting my mistakes. Since I made the decision to no longer wear my kirpan I have been regretting every second of it. I want to wear my kirpan and doing everything properly but I dont know what steps should be taken. Would I have to do ardaas asking for forgiveness for removing my kirpan or are there more measures that need to be taken? I am really lost and want to get back to the proper stoop that guru jo gave us and I need help?
  15. Would really appreciate if anyone could please help me. I've been paying attention to pronunciations and really confused with the following. In some audio, when i listen to Gurmukhi / paath, they pronounce CHH with SHH (Sasa pair bindee) same with PH phapha without bindee they pronounce (Fa) ^In BOS video, Bhai Jagraj Singh Ji mentions with CHH but some say with 'SHH' in other Gurmukhi videos i seen is it (umbrella) Chhatri with pronunciation CHH) or some say with 'SHHATRI' Chhe (Six) or 'Shh'e ....... Chhote (younger) or 'Shh'ote .............. Same confusion with Phapha PH....without Bindee some say 'Faffa' Phal (Fruit) or 'fa'al Phull (Flower) or 'Fhull Thank You
  16. Ocdperson

    Lust?

    So I uploaded a topic similar to this but I am still confused. So let’s get to the point, people say looking at videos of attractive females is lust because your not thinking about Naam and that your forgot my Naam. But aren’t we forgetting Naam when we take a school test or when we watch a movie. Because technically we are really focused on the test in school or the movie we are watching, so isn’t that technically lust too? When you take a test in school , the test take all your awareness towards it. Even when you watch a movie, the movie takes all your awareness too but people don’t consider both of these things lust, but they consider watching attractive females videos lust. Watching attractive females and watching a movie both do the same thing, they take your awareness away. So aren’t they both lust. Is watching videos of attractive females in moderation lust? Is masturbating in moderation lust? Because they are no different awareness wise than watching a movie or taking a test . No disrespect, I’m just confused.
  17. Dear Sangat Ji, I'm trapped in a very difficult situation, I have a very challenging wife and have to repeat that and a very difficult wife. My parents built a garage in a kitchen and my wife won't make food in the garage kitchen, she says it's too cold. My wife will complain and my mum won't listen. My father passed away, and now I have started getting anxiety attacks and am very depressed. Is there anything you would suggest
  18. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh. I have taken Amrit 4.5 years back and tried to follow everything from Rehat Maryada. Before starting daily errands, I take a bath and do the Nitnem. I am a software engineer and as a part of my job, I have a hackathon organized in my company, wherein we are required to work for around 24 - 30 hours continuously. I won't be able to take bath on Sunday morning in the company but can do Nitnem in the cabin through my laptop/phone. I went through Rehat Maryada and it is clearly written there that I should take a bath before doing Nitnem. What should I do in such situation? At one side I feel that I should fight with the company to leave me on Saturday night, this could affect my relationship with the company and on another side, it seems washing and cleansing face and hands should also do.
  19. ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖਾਲਸਾ ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫ਼ਤਿਹ !!! My name is Sarkar e Khalsa, i've been registered quite a while but have become a regular quite recently. That aside, I'm a Singh from Manitoba Canada, seeking virtual Gursangat that can help guide me, although I'm quite young I've grown toward Sikhi through some Singhs I met here that taught me shastar vidhya, and ithihaas, however I'd like to grow...Any help and any sangat would be welcomed
  20. Really Sorry for engine this topic up! I am 17 years old. I took amrit at the age of 12 because I felt very connected with the guru at the time and i knew and I still know that the main objective in this life is to become jot Vich jot with waheguru, and the first step to doing so is Amrit for a Sikh, that's why I took it at an early age because I felt like I didn't want to waste my time as we don't know we are gonna die, anyway..it was going well till I was about 14/15, at 14/15 puberty hit and I felt more prone to 5 evils, I got involved with the wrong crowd, and The effect of this was I stopped doing my nitnem and Simran and alot of things...I pretty much gave up being an Amrit dhari for a while and then this girl came into the picture... loads of guys liked this girl and the fact that she wanted me over them was crazy for me at the time because I'd never experienced that before, at first I thought I was getting way ahead of myself because at te end of the day I was still an Amrit dhari and a sikh of the guru and as I hadn't done anything to break it apart from stopped doing my nitnem for a while I didn't want to risk doing something that bad, but then I got encouraged by my friends to go for it and well I did it and I gave into lust after that I got depressed becoz I knew what I did was wrong, but I felt shameful so I resisted going to the gurdwara and stuff and took of my kirpan n stuff of because I didnt feel worthy to wear em and I didn't know how to face guru ji, I spent about half a year being shameful and depressed and then I started to fix up after that and start praying and everyday since then I ask guru ji for forgiveness even till nw, I got rid of my old friends and made new ones, good ones and I focus on school more, since that girl didnt go to my school I never had to face her again and from there I just started trying to become religious again, everyday I wake up at 6 and do my 5 bani's and I ask mahraj for forgiveness for being so foolish. I know I'll never do something like that again but I don't know what do now, do I beed to take Amrit again? My patens don't know anything about this, how do I tell them I need to take Amrit again? What would I say to the punj piare? I'm so confused ... Has any1 ever been thru something like this? I can't tell me parents because I just can't, they won't be able to take it.. I'm truly sorry for bring up this topic but I need help I dont know how to feel or what to do!? Wjkk wjkf
  21. Guest

    Mr

    What should I do if I’m in the middle of my nitnem and have been force to eat something and then eat it to avoid an argument? Shall I carry on my nitnem? Should I stop reading bani? This happens to me on a regular basis with my mum who has anger issues. I can’t tell her no or else she’ll scream the house down and start swearing at me. It’s here way or there high way. I don’t know what to do! I need help! Tell what to do!
  22. WJKK WJKF I currently wear a patka and need to learn how to tie a dumalla. I’m 16. I only have 3 weeks to learn (let me know if the type I want to wear will be too hard to learn in this time frame. I have no one to help irl only YouTube videos). Firstly, I have managed to finally get some dumalla cloth and have at the moment left it to soak overnight as I was told this is what you need to do as I had great difficulty trying to learn how to tie one without it washed. So I have 2 lengths of 6m long 0.5m wide cloth. Is this a good amount for the type I want? (Photo will be attached below). I then saw I fold it in half to tie a dumalla in videos. I’m also having difficulty tying a base. Either when I tie my joora it sticks up too much and will make me end up with a massive dastar (I want to blend in at the new school I’ll be going to so don’t want to look overly big, my old school had no sikhs). Or it’s really really loose (I’m doing the thing where I wrap my Kesh around in the cloth then twist it up. Is there any secret to this or better way? I am not amritari also, I heard this is a ‘nihang dumalla’, I’m just wondering as a non amritari Sikh I won’t offend anyone by wearing this type of dumalla will I? The reason I want this type is I heard this is the type some people wear at my school I will go to (I am unable to contact them for help however). So here’s the photo below, for this type, perhaps a bit smaller, how many layers will I need? How much material length total? Do you know any good videos for this exact type in which case please send? And is my aim of learning how to tie this in 2-3 weeks achievable? Forgive me I left it so late I had difficulties. WJKK WJKF
  23. I heard this katha and I think it may help people who are struggling/stressing about unfortunate job situations.
  24. Guest

    Starting Again

    This has started off last year when I first started having the thoughts of cutting my hair. I let them slide and I was too busy to address them at the moment. But, now sitting in quarantine, I got to stop and think about where I'm going. i'm only 16 and I realize that I have a lot ahead of me and I shouldn't make any sensitive decisions right now. However, it's been getting worse where every morning I wake up with the same thoughts in my mind. I've been trying to push them away, may Waheguru Ji help me do so, but they don't stop. I have kept my hair since the day I was born and my family is fully amrit dhari. They say that when you take one step towards Guru Ji he takes a thousand steps towards you. I've decided to start again and rediscover Sikhi, not in the way my parents forced it upon me, but the way I should've done it before. In this hope that these thoughts will slide away and I won't end up cutting my Kesh. So, I tell you all this to help me, tell me where to begin again and tell me the best way to do it. Please forgive me if I have offended anyone or anything in any way, I'm still lost and trying to find my way. Thank you.
  25. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh, I need help in saying I don’t want the relationship anymore or to end it but without insulting myself or hurting the other person. ok so there was this guy who proposed to me and I said yes because he wore a turban, doesn’t cut hair, is respectful and has a good career. He is from another caste but that didn’t affect me much, i knew it will for my parents with old mentality but I know I’d convince them. Being in a relationship for about 7 months but known each other for a couple months more because used to chat. We only met like 3 times only. He told me he rejected many girls because thinkings don’t match and thinks our does but Only I know they don’t match based on Sikhi or many other things our thinkings don’t match. I just go along with him agreeing on his thinking to not create fights or anything but deep down I don’t like it. I took Sri Hukamnama Sahib once for him thinking if it is positive it is a yes from Guru Sahib Ji to keep him and if not then no. I got it a little negative ( no Bani is negative but what I mean is Guru Sahib Ji weren’t happy not a Parsanta wala Sri Hukamnama Sahib) so it means it’s a no. Now I don’t know to say this to him or to back off so I don’t waste his time or hurt him. I am stressed about how to tell him. My friend told me to lie that your dad isn’t saying yes (he know my mom knows and his family knows about me just spoke over the phone with them only ). I am worried about insulting myself (he might say crap to me or his family will since it’s been a while together). I am worried about lying too because his family including hum might hate my dad for no reason. Also, he might say fight with dad or explain to him and fight for love. Please help me what should I do?
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