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  1. how is important is height in terms of finding a marriage partner. I have seen some ristas. One of them I was happy with. The only thing was the height factor. She was exactly 5 feet tall. Not only that she had a slight build and was very thin. I am average height 5.10. I have always been encouraged to find a tall girl for marriage. But is that very important? My main concern although she was very pretty is that being very short and petite it did not make her appear healthy. Also was worried if that may affect her fertility being on the thin and short side. I dont mind short girls. up to about 5 ft 2 and above. But is 5ft to small? Anyone got and advice when it comes to height. Or is height not that important and its the personality that counts. Incidentally she had a smiley and fun type personality. I found the taller girls more laid back and serious types.
  2. Guest

    Daaj/dowry question

    Wjkk Wjkf everyone, I married a girl from India and sponsored her to Canada. A year and a half later her sister is getting married. They want to give all sorts of things to the groom's family for marriage. To me this smells too much of dowry and I am not a fan of it. The groom is not requesting anything, but my wife's sister and family want to give a ton of things anyway including Sofa's, bedset, TV, washing machine and maybe more. I'm not really familiar with marriage customs in India, so I need help. Everyone is an amridhari sikh. I am 100% against dowry, and thought my wife's family was too. When I asked my wife she said we only want to help my sister as much as possible. Make her life easy over there. And that this is not dowry, simply helping. I'm confused. Is this dowry? It seems to me they are giving all these gifts just to make the grooms family happy. Or are they just innocently making the brides after-marriage life easier? Please respond asap.Thanks
  3. Guest


    Wjkk wjkf, I’m an 18 year old Sikh male, I really like this girl, we are both 18. But we are distant relatives. She is my moms brothers sons daughter. So she is my cousins daughter. She is 18 and so am I and was wondering whether this marriage would have a problem in the Sikh rehat maryada or in any other way. Bhullar chuka Khema muaf. Wjkk wjkf
  4. I want to marry somebody religious but im not very religious but i honestly do believe that im a good hearted person who does try and follow sikhism as best as i can. I just dont go the Gurdwara or know everything about sikhism. I come from a fairly traditional family so whilst i dont know everything about the history of Sikihism, I do know what we are not supposed to be doing (dating, smoking , eating beef, hair etc). I just dont really have much in common with the more open boys of my age group.
  5. Hi, all need some advice. Im flying over to Punjab in a few months to get married hopefully. Its not an ideal situation. Being born and bred in the UK. I thought I would hopefully find a girl through a love marriage. But It just did not happen. I have also struggled to find an arranged marriage partner in the UK. As I am over 30 which makes it alot more difficult to find someone. Now that I am going India. I am a bit lost. I am not sure what to look for in a girl. Any tips on finding a suitable marriage partner in india? Im a pretty good judge of someone through juat having a little chat and seeing them talk. As alot can be learned through their body language. What to look out for. And what not to. I dont want to marry someone I wont be happy with.
  6. Guest

    Toronto GTA and mature folk

    WJKK WJKF, Sangat ji, I’m seeking guidance regarding marital planning. Sangat ji, please don’t mind this, but I’m a sehajdhari (cut hair) asking for advice. With all due respect, ‘No dating’ doesn’t apply to me. I’m from gta/Toronto, in my late 20s. I didn’t have brown neighbours/classmates growing up. Fast forward to today, I still live where I never see Punjabis. I just need to know how I should go about meeting a man. How do people like me, in the late 20s, find a suitable Punjabi match these days? I even went through matrimonial sections of newspapers my mom got for me. (All the men look for “a traditional, family-oriented woman”, & the men never describe themselves as family-oriented, but that’s a topic for another day.) I broke off an engagement because my partner became agnostic. Although I’m just a sehajdhari moni (cut hair) & seldom drink, I’m still spiritual and I wish God pairs me up with a man who will value what I value, like being vegetarian, being humble, being outdoors, and doing seva at the Gurdwara.. But these points (except vegetarian part) aren’t listed in the mens’ matrimonial entries. My mom suggested I do sevaa at the Gurdwara to pick out a respectable man there, but that shouldn’t be my focus at the Gurdwara. I guess my question is.. How should I go about meeting Punjabi sikhs/sehajdhari with marriage as the goal? I’d rather not read anymore sexist matrimonial entries lol. I’m open to everyone’s respectable suggestions. My fellow Toronto folk, let me know. * [Sehajdhari -meaning I accept Sikhi as my dharam but just don’t have kes (kept hair).] Thanks for your patience. WJJK WJKF
  7. So Meghan Markle (the fiancee of Prince Harry) will be baptized into the Church of England in accordance with UK law and the wish of the Queen. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5126203/Meghan-baptised-Church-England.html My question is: what about Sikhs getting baptized (initiated/taking Amrit) before marriage in accordance with the laws of Sachi Sarkar and the wish of the Sacha Patshah (Guru Gobind Singh ji)? OK, forget that, forget Amrit, how about just acknowledging that you (and your fiancee) are a Sikh and believe in the 10 Gurus and Guru Granth Sahib? No amrit, no rehit, just a basic acknowledgement of the faith? Why is the word of the Sacha Patshah less important than that of a worldly king or queen?
  8. In my personal experience , as far as I have seen, sikh men who marry hindu women end up ruining sikhi in their families , as the son ends up being either a mona or sardar with trimmed beard OR even if he's a "gursikh" , he will mix vedic stuff with sikhi and that leads to often underestimated DIRE consequences for the panth as well ! As a child gets its sanskaar from a mother's womb, a hindu mother will invariably give birth to a hindu son, even if he's you know a turbaned guy. Notable examples include harbhajan singh puri , alias , yogi bhajan . We all know the mess he has created for us to clean . I would never ever marry a hindu woman if i had to marry . I would rather marry a muslee (funny how these are the ones stigmatized by the sikh community worldwide while the hindus get an open hand among sikhs) What is this cult created by yogi bhajan . Was he a hindutva guy .
  9. Last night I dreamt I was getting married to this white man. It was a love marriage and i was in my wedding lengha and he was in a suit. All my family were there and it felt so surreal. We were going to cut the cake when he just started cutting it himself into pieces. I tried to tell him that we have to wait and my family have to be here when we cut the cake. He wasnt listening to me and just ignored me. The dream ended with my family talking about this guy and mw saying i think i made a mistake. Btw the whole dream was based in his house. I know there are many people who dont believe dreams hold any significant meaning but i do. Plus this really <banned word filter activated> me up. I dont know any white guys and I certainly never want to marry one of them. Anyone have any meanings ?
  10. Guest

    Need some advice

    Vaheguru ji ka khalsa Vahheguru ji ke fateh I need some advice from sangat or anyone who has been in a similar situation. Im a 29 year old singh from the uk and i want to get married but i have some concerns because im the only amritdhari in my family, the rest of the family drinks, eats meat and go to manders. I am an only son so i wont be able to move out realistically without upsetting the whole family, im worried that if i get married that there will be alot of arguments in the house becuase of how my family is. I was just wondering if any singh has been in the same situation and what was their experience and also to any amritdhari sisters if they have got married into a family like this and how they delt with it and is it as bad as i have made out in my crazy head. Vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh
  11. Guest

    marrying an amridtari

    Do you think a good strong marriage is possible when one is an amritdari (boy) and really religious and the other is not religious(girl). I feel that there will be too much pressure from the family to be more religious and bringing up children will be problematic. Whilst, i can be repsectful and try and understand his needs, i feel I will end up having to stop eating meat and attending gurdwara every sunday and praying. Whilst, I believe that Gods path is the right path I do think becoming an amridtari is too strict for me because I love eating meat and whilst I don't drink date or do anything that goes against the customs of Sikhism I don't feel like I am ready to fully commit myself just yet. But I don't want to be forced into if I marry somebody religious. I can accept his strong beliefs but I feel that in the long term he will want me to become more religious and Im just not ready to fully commit yet.
  12. is gurbani says that girl and boy of different surnam but from same village can not get married . please tell about this thing .....!
  13. Hello. My Indian Jatt Sikh boyfriend proposed last month. I accepted. We're very much inlove. I've been trying to look up how mixed race/mixed religions combine their 'ideals & traditions'. I'm a White British atheist but have always wanted the traditional white dress. I also love the Sikh weddings, and of course will be having a very traditional Sikh wedding. I've seen that some people, through YouTube videos, have 2 marriage ceremonies... one Sikh and one non-religious/very western... is this a pretty common option, to have both? Is there not a way to put aspects of my dream wedding within the Sikh marriage ceremony? Or would it be best to do 'my' side of things the day after? Also, my father is meant to give me away. I have no relationship with him, so can I use my mother or sister? I'd love to know if anyone here can tell me what options they've seen or even been a part of. I'm going to India in December to witness some inlaw-weddings, and I will talk to my inlaws then, for information... but I'm just researching for myself at the moment, you know? Thank you in advance.
  14. I knew it would come one day or the other, but I had little option other than putting my faith in the lord and let the life take its course as the lord directs it. Finally my parents have started upping the pressure on me to get married. I had told them 2 yrs back I am not interested in girls and I don't feel for them the way other guys do . And instead I have those same romantic / sexual feelings for young men instead. But my parents ignored me and went in denial. They suggested I see a doctor for some "deficiency". My dad thought I had low libido. I know the doctors know abt homosexuality but will still see me as a sheep to be sheared (money) . So I rather asked my mom dad to take me to a gay-friendly popular psychiatrist who is also treating my mom for anxiety and depression. He talked to me privately and sympathized with my circumstances but said he would still suggest some tests and prescribe a few meds just to satisfy my parents, lest they take me to quacks instead. My blood - Testosterone etc were pretty much normal. The episode ended back then. Now its resurfaced . My mom dad had fight with my nephew (taaye da munda) in punjab because his wife and himself is quite rude and ungrateful for all my dad has done for them. So now marrying me is also seen by my parents as a way of "slapping" the relatives in punjab , and if don't get married, then it would be "slap" on my parents face instead and my parents become a subject of ridicule among relatives. So my mom dad are taking me to gurudwara marriage bureaus and asking every person on planet to find me a girl for rishta. Everyday they're talking of my marriage and its very stressful for me. I am obviously in a very tough state . But I know I am not alone. My satguru is always by my side . "Sagal dwaar ko chhad ke , gaheyo tuharo dwar". I went to guru sahib , put my plea in ardas and ask him to bless me with a gurvaak, When i lifted the rumala sahib and randomly opened the angs , I got ang 637 ਸੋਰਠਿ ਮਹਲਾ ੩ ਘਰੁ ੧ ਤਿਤੁਕੀ Sorat'h, Third Mehl, First House, Ti-Tukas: ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥ One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru: ਭਗਤਾ ਦੀ ਸਦਾ ਤੂ ਰਖਦਾ ਹਰਿ ਜੀਉ ਧੁਰਿ ਤੂ ਰਖਦਾ ਆਇਆ ॥ You always preserve the honor of Your devotees, O Dear Lord; You have protected them from the very beginning of time. ਪ੍ਰਹਿਲਾਦ ਜਨ ਤੁਧੁ ਰਾਖਿ ਲਏ ਹਰਿ ਜੀਉ ਹਰਣਾਖਸੁ ਮਾਰਿ ਪਚਾਇਆ ॥ You protected Your servant Prahlaad, O Dear Lord, and annihilated Harnaakhash. ਗੁਰਮੁਖਾ ਨੋ ਪਰਤੀਤਿ ਹੈ ਹਰਿ ਜੀਉ ਮਨਮੁਖ ਭਰਮਿ ਭੁਲਾਇਆ ॥੧॥ The Gurmukhs place their faith in the Dear Lord, but the self-willed manmukhs are deluded by doubt. ||1|| ਹਰਿ ਜੀ ਏਹ ਤੇਰੀ ਵਡਿਆਈ ॥ O Dear Lord, this is Your Glory. ਭਗਤਾ ਕੀ ਪੈਜ ਰਖੁ ਤੂ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਭਗਤ ਤੇਰੀ ਸਰਣਾਈ ॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ You preserve the honor of Your devotees, O Lord Master; Your devotees seek Your Sanctuary. ||Pause|| Yesterday my parents forced took me to a gurudwara 2 miles away , because of marriage bureau there, I again did ardas at that gurudwara itself and lifted the rumala sahib, I again got the same shabad as above. I don't know how things will turn in my favor. Right now I am utterly clueless , but I do know he's the causes of causes. Thats my blind faith in him. Its the only thing I have.
  15. ਜੇਕਰ ਤੁਹਾਡਾ ਜੀਵਨ ਸਾਥੀ ਅੰਮ੍ਰਿਤ ਛਕਣਾ ਚਾਹੁੰਦਾ ਹੈ ਪਰ ਤੁਹਾਡਾ ਮਨ ਨਹੀਂ ਮੰਨਦਾ ਤਾਂ ਤੁਹਾਨੂੰ ਕੀ ਕਰਨਾ ਚਾਹੀਦਾ ਹੈ? ਕਈ ਵਾਰੀ ਛੋਟੀ ਜੇਹੀ ਗਲ ਪਿਛੇ ਜਾਂ ਖਾਹਮਖਾਹ ਹੀ ਬੇਲੋੜੇ ਝਗੜੇ ਕਾਰਨ ਘਰ ਖਰਾਬ ਹੋ ਜਾਂਦੇ ਹਨ। ਇਸ ਤੋਂ ਕਿਵੇਂ ਬਚਿਆ ਜਾਵੇ। ਇਸੇ ਵਿਸ਼ੇ ਤੇ ਅਸੀਂ ਇਹ ਵੀਡੀਓ ਤਿਆਰ ਕੀਤੀ ਹੈ ਜਿਸ ਤੋਂ ਸਾਨੂੰ ਇਹ ਆਸ ਹੈ ਕਿ ਤੁਸੀਂ ਲਾਭ ਉਠਾ ਕੇ ਆਪਣਾ ਜੀਵਨ ਖੁਸ਼ੀਆਂ ਵਾਲਾ ਅਤੇ ਸੁਖ ਸ਼ਾਂਤੀ ਵਾਲਾ ਬਣਾ ਲਵੋਗੇ। ਆਪ ਜੀ ਦੇ ਮਨ ਵਿਚ ਕੋਈ ਸੁਝਾਓ ਹੋਵੇ ਤਾਂ ਸਾਨੂੰ +1-647-771-5359 ਤੇ ਸੰਪਰਕ ਕਰੋ ਜੀ। ਜੇਕਰ ਤੁਸੀਂ ਸਾਡੀਆਂ ਵੀਡੀਓ ਪਸੰਦ ਕਰਦੇ ਹੋ ਤਾਂ ਹੋਰਨਾਂ ਨਾਲ ਸ਼ੇਅਰ ਕਰਿਆ ਕਰੋ ਅਤੇ ਸਾਡੇ youtube ਚੈਨਲ ਨੂੰ subscribe ਜ਼ਰੂਰ ਕਰੋ ਜੀ। If your life partner wants to take Amrit and become a Gursikh but you are not ready for it, then what should you do? Many times, if an informed decision is not taken or if unnecessary obstinacy is done, then families can break and other unfortunate events can take place. How to avoid such situation? This is the topic of our video today to provide guidance to ones whose life partners want to move towards his or her religious roots. We hope you will benefit from this video and fill your life with happiness and contentment. If you have any questions or if you have any suggestions, kindly contact us at +1-647-771-5359. If you like the videos, please share them liberally and also don’t forget to subscribe to our youtube channel.
  16. Dear Sangat Ji, I am going through much sadness in my life. I really wanted to get married when I was younger and wanted to have a happy married life. Unfortunately the girl I was dating didn't want to be with my parents after marriage so I decided not to continue the relationship. I ended up marrying someone from India and Sangat Ji , I was somewhat forced by all of my elders, parents, sister to marry this one girl. I sponsored this girl and honestly regret it everyday, she has wanted to move out, won't help around the house. I feel somewhat depressed that I had such good intentions about marriage and didn't sleep around before marriage and now regret why I was so good. I keep praying to God for help and so far nothing has worked in my situation, but I have faith it will. My lesson to all, is please don't force your children. I cry everyday before going to bed, I keep thinking all of this is because of my bad karma. I have had suicidal thoughts, and have trouble concentrating at woek. I sometimes wish god takes my life early as my life is meaningless.
  17. WJKK WJKF I recently got married, around 10 months ago, and my wife moved in with myself and my family. My family are religious to an extent but dad and bro are pagg wale with cut beards. The first few months of marriage were okay, from around April we have seen a lot of issues, such as : 1. "your wife doesn't do anything" ie when the mrs cooks and it isn't to my parents approval they won't eat it. 2. If we go out during the weekend / for dinner or social - we get told we are being disrespectful and that we have too much money for our own good. 3. I've just decided to grow out my Dari and have it prakash- that's also been ridiculed. Don't get me wrong every family has issues and every marriage has teething problems. We've had our ups and downs but the other week we got told quite viciously to leave the house as we were not wanted. So I adhered for myself and my wife a rented apartment etc. My question I guess is how would you have dealt with it ? It just feels as if the world and its dog is after us at the moment. any suggestions / help is appreciated thanks WJKK WJKF
  18. Guest

    Help marriage issue

    Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh Sangat please help me with this problem i am having. I am from the UK, and my family is sikh. Although i do not believe in caste because i follow sikhi, my family is chamar. I met a girl while studying at university and we became friends, however this accidentally blossomed into love without meaning for it to. She is also sikh, but her family is Jatt, and they are very casteist. Although she herself does not believe in caste because she also tries to follow sikhi, her family believe in it strongly. Now we all know here that there is no jaat paat in Sikhi, is there a way to convince her family? I have met them before just as her friend and they assumed i am Jatt because they think I look like one. My and my family do not fall into any stereotypes they may have about lower castes for example: we are all fair skinned, we follow pure sikhi, we are relatively well off etc. I am very well educated, i have a good job and i get told that i am a very good natured and caring person. Another issue i have is her parents have said that she can marry a Jatt or a Tarkhan but not a Chamar. Surely marrying out of caste to any different caste should be treated the same. Please help with how to resolve this, and give me any advice you can. Thank you
  19. Are there any gurdwara sahibs in india where maharaj or gursikhs have done bachan to do ardaas to find a marriage partner?
  20. Just trying to raise awareness about our service within the Sikh community. Turban Rishta is a bespoke matchmaking service for UK Sikh turban professionals. We have over 30 years of experience of doing this locally and have launched our website. We have personal reasons for why we wish to do this for free and would like to reach out to as many people as possible. Please visit/share and sign up to attend our events - www.turbanrishta.com
  21. My husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse .i still believed that my husband loved me I can't let go of the feeling of love towards him My husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse and making false criminal charges on me just after 6 months of our marriage.. I was married here and came from India and was confined at home for 6 months..there were many daily instances of differential treatment with me and of abuse with me daily..i still believed that my husband loved me but after he put me through the most horrible situation, i still can't let go fo the feeling fo love towards him..everyone is saying I am saved by Waheguru but why do i still want to be with..i still want to talk to him once..i was thrown out of their house in a demeaning way and still i have feelings for him..why? What should i do...he has applied for divorce too and i dont want to divorce him..i love him truly and i have no one to go back to..my parents are not alive..am homeless in a foreign country..why did he do this to me after all this sikhi talk at his home and i was to take Amrit with him on this Baisakhi..why is this happening?
  22. Guest

    Kesh and Marriage

    Hello, I am seeking advice from the Sangat on a dilemma that I am in. For the past four years I have been reading gurbani. I was raised in a Sikh (non-amritdhari) family. I am a Mona myself. After reading gurbani, and completing a sehaj paat, I have fell at the feet of Satguru. I am addicted to doing paat and listening to Katha. I have also been having thoughts of keeping my Kesh, to the point where I can not stop thinking about it. I don't feel like cutting my hair and I feel as though Kesh is the missing piece of my spiritual journey into Sikhi. I have been married for 7 years now, and I have discussed keeping my Kesh with my wife. She does not feel that I need to and that I can be spiritual without Kesh. She also says that I should wait until later in life. We have disagreed on this and I feel as though sat guru is giving me the jewel of Kesh. On the flip side, I'm not sure how it will affect my marriage. Guru Nanak Sahib Ji also said to live a gristi Jeevan. I'm just reaching out to see if any one else in the sangat has had similar issue and can relate, or offer some advice. Thank you, Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh
  23. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Can anyone explain logically why caste still exists in our Panth? Especially among those who tell everyone caste doesn't exist to the outside, but when it comes for actually putting it into practice they forget everything about the right side. There are Hindus today who value their personal caste less than some Sikhs which is just depressing if you asked anyone. Also how can we logically combat this idea in some old-aged Pakhandis minds. Especially among Pakhandidharis, (those who took Amrit yet still keep Non-Sikh practices), which makes people question the need for Amrit. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh!
  24. Guest

    Broken families and marriage

    I was just wondering what people's thoughts was on broken families, well parents being divorced. The word broken is just wrong. The older I get the more I find the amount of stigma attached to young people and adults who come from divorced parents. An example would be when a a Sikh man wants to get married to a Sikh women, but their parents are against it because the man comes from a so called broken family, but what has that got to do with the man? he still could be hard working, loyal, and honest. i'm not sure if women are faced with the same thing. What if the divorced parents met other people and are happy, should that go against the son or daughter? I find our culture very judgemental in this aspect and as a Sikh should't we supporting each other instead of turning each other away. Anyway I was just wondering what peoples thoughts was on this. Would you get married to a Sikh women or man who came from the broken family and would your family be 100% okay with this?
  25. Guest

    Marriage at 21

    vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh, the tittle pretty much sums it up - im 21 studying at uni and have been struggling with severe anxiety for a good few years. im finally working my way back up in my life and im happy, and im happy with myself and with the progress im making in my life. however according to relatives i should be married as soon as possible, if not, now. this makes no sense to me? times have changed, life spans have increased, retirement age will be much higher for our time, cost of living is only increasing and my generation wont have a great pension to spend in comparison to the current pension holders. not only that, but due to my mental health 'probems' im not stable enough for marriage. sure on the outsude i looke perfectly fine, but i know i am not. ive taken a few risks in my life thinking it would change for the better but i regret all of those decisions, so please can no one say that i should just go for it and it will be fine, no it wont. the advice i need is how to get relatives off my back. none of my relatives (i have good reasons) know about my severe anxiety and how much it has affected me. they dont know that kind of situations i have overcome to be who i am today. essentially i dont feel like they know me at all because theyre not even looking out for amritdhari when i myself, very very soon will be blessed with amrit! i am not ready for marriage at all, and i want to START enjoying my life. ive never been completely selfish, but having started to allow myself to, it has helped my anxiety issues a lot. so how can i help them understand i do not want to marry now, without them understanding completely? (please dont suggest i tell them everything because they wont understand)
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