Love/ Arrange Marriage?

[singhni84]

erm...what i don't understand is why do most love marriages end up in divorce compared to arranged marriages? Is like i said before, is it becus the couple don't receive what they expected?

Just speculating here...but maybe it's because those who engage in a "love marriage" may not have followed Gurmat 100%, so breaking the ardaas and the laavan that bound them together isn't that big of a deal to them if they weren't steadily on the Gurmat path to begin with.

On the other hand, someone who follows Gurmat and has an arranged marriage may value the ardaas done to bind them to their spouse, so through hardship and difficulty etc, they stick to their commitment to their spouse and to the ardaas and laavan...so less divorce.

[Guest peacemaker]

4RR, can you please clarify something for me? Are you talking about Love and Arranged Marriage in general or Love and Arranged Marriage in regards to Sikhism? Thanks! :TH:

[singhni84]

4RR, can you please clarify something for me? Are you talking about Love and Arranged Marriage in general or Love and Arranged Marriage in regards to Sikhism? Thanks! :TH:

I think we're all discussing in terms of Sikhism. If we're not, we should be.

[Guest peacemaker]

4RR, can you please clarify something for me? Are you talking about Love and Arranged Marriage in general or Love and Arranged Marriage in regards to Sikhism? Thanks! :TH:

I think we're all discussing in terms of Sikhism. If we're not, we should be.

See, then this kind of changes things for me. I was under the impression that this was just a general question by the way it was posed by 4RR.

[singhni84]

See, then this kind of changes things for me. I was under the impression that this was just a general question by the way it was posed by 4RR.

It may very well have been a general question. I don't know. I just think there's not much point discussing it on a Sikh forum unless we're going to discuss it in relation to Sikhi and formulate our responses based on Gurmat principles.

[Anand]

Isnt everything in life about sikhi?

Can you define sikhi specific to certain matters?

Sikhi is a way of life and as such everything that people want to discuss should be 'discussable'.

As for love marriage and arranged marriage - I think these words itself are misleading when trying to explain what love and arranged is.

My personal perception of arranged marriage is that parents look for like minded family to introduce their kids to, whereas 'love' marriage is where people meet each other independent of parents and believe that they would be well suited for marriage.

[Guest peacemaker]

Isnt everything in life about sikhi?

Can you define sikhi specific to certain matters?

Sikhi is a way of life and as such everything that people want to discuss should be 'discussable'.

Can you explain these points more further, please? I kind of get what you're saying. Thanks!

[4RR]

Just speculating here...but maybe it's because those who engage in a "love marriage" may not have followed Gurmat 100%, so breaking the ardaas and the laavan that bound them together isn't that big of a deal to them if they weren't steadily on the Gurmat path to begin with.

On the other hand, someone who follows Gurmat and has an arranged marriage may value the ardaas done to bind them to their spouse, so through hardship and difficulty etc, they stick to their commitment to their spouse and to the ardaas and laavan...so less divorce

singhni84, thanx for that!^^^^^^^

Peacemaker, (i sound as if i'm talking to a super hero LOL) i asked this question to see if having a love/ arrange marriage affects the way we follow sikhism...if u know what i mean. I mean, like singhni84 has pointed out, if u were to have a love marriage then it's cus u do less prayer etc. What does anyone think?

[Guest peacemaker]

[Peacemaker, (i sound as if i'm talking to a super hero LOL) i asked this question to see if having a love/ arrange marriage affects the way we follow sikhism...if u know what i mean. I mean, like singhni84 has pointed out, if u were to have a love marriage then it's cus u do less prayer etc. What does anyone think?

I am a super hero! :TH: I have a white cape and black suit with a white peace sign in the middle, and I try to spread peace all across the land, and do good deeds . But that's another story... :lol: Now I kind of feel embarrassed because I said some things that were silly because I didn't realize we were talking in regards to sikhi. Let me compose myself and return when I can give a response that is more fitting for the forum that we are on! :umm:

[4RR]

don't worry all responses received have been very helpful :TH:

sooooo...any more comments?