Young Bride Burned Herself To Death

[PAL 07]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1308371/Indian-bride-burns-death-escape-shame-failing-arranged-marriage.html

[Hanu]

http://www.dailymail...d-marriage.html

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa

Waheguru ji ki Fateh

This is very tragic. She may have tried to make the marriage last in order to save her mother's dignity, but out of her desperation she destroyed not only herself but ironically her mother's dignity and caused her the pain of losing a daughter in such a way. There is no reason for a woman to remain in abusive circumstances. If the man is absuive from the outset it is clear that he is not going to change and that things are not going to get better. So many women get caught up in marriages or other types of relationships that are destructive to them because the men are simply wicked, that it is astounding. And because of wanting to save their reputation, their family's reputation, fear of the man, emotional manipuation, because children are involved, or whatever, the women remains in the relationship and tragedy results. BTW, burning is an extremely painful way to go. Either that girl had no idea what she was doing or she was so desperate she was willing to undergo that kind of physical anguish to get away from that man.

How can such events be avoided in the future? Staying with that man for more abuse and the final suicide were all that girl's decisions, no one could stop her. Only some kind of education about how it is not going to destroy their families' reputations if they separate or get divorced from abusive spouses would change the minds of girls like her. That cannot be imposed on the community, it has to come from within, because it is a cultural value. Every mother and father should tell their daughter when she is getting married, "If that man touches you in the wrong way, or does this or that... you have the right to stand up for yourself, you are a human being." It is a basic tenet of Sikhi that women have equality to men, that God exists in women as much as in men, that women give birth to prophets, doctors, etc., so why should a woman make herself vulnerable to beater/molester/abuser/drunk/etc. who violates her physically or verbally, makes her think less about herself or hurt physically or emotionally? We all know that Kaur means princess. This girl was a Kaur, and should have been treated like one. Instead she is dead, more because of her confused values than because of the monster who beat her.