simran345

Are you able to ask a granthi at the Gurdwara ?

I agree with the advise given by Sikhni and Jkv sisters. You say there's a false case against you in India. So why are you looking for a girl to marry there? Your first marriage hasn't been finalised yet. Wouldn't it be wise to wait for the divorce, and take your time in looking for another rishta. What's the hurry?

Yep I like this one too.

A very delightful read, such an inspirational sister.

Not so noisy urban and not too quiet rural.

I like them all equally. There’s something to be learned from all three.

Some pangtis of what Guruji says about family: ਮੰਨੈ ਪਾਵਹਿ ਮੋਖੁ ਦੁਆਰੁ ॥ मंनै पावहि मोखु दुआरु ॥ Mannai pāvahi mokẖ ḏu▫ār. The obeyer of the Lord's dictates obtains the door of salvation. ਮੰਨੈ ਪਰਵਾਰੈ ਸਾਧਾਰੁ ॥ मंनै परवारै साधारु ॥ Mannai parvārai sāḏẖār. The obeyer of the Lord's dictates reforms his kith and kin. ਮੰਨੈ ਤਰੈ ਤਾਰੇ ਗੁਰੁ ਸਿਖ ॥ मंनै तरै तारे गुरु सिख ॥ Mannai ṯarai ṯāre gur sikẖ. The obeyer of the Lord's fiat saves himself and saves the Sikhs of the Guru. ਮੰਨੈ ਨਾਨਕ ਭਵਹਿ ਨ ਭਿਖ ॥ मंनै नानक भवहि न भिख ॥ Mannai Nānak bẖavahi na bẖikẖ. The obeyer of the Lord's fiat goes not begging. ਐਸਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਨਿਰੰਜਨੁ ਹੋਇ ॥ ऐसा नामु निरंजनु होइ ॥ Aisā nām niranjan ho▫e. Such is the stainless Name of God. ਜੇ ਕੋ ਮੰਨਿ ਜਾਣੈ ਮਨਿ ਕੋਇ ॥੧੫॥ जे को मंनि जाणै मनि कोइ ॥१५॥ Je ko man jāṇai man ko▫e. ||15|| If some one puts faith in the Lord's Name, he shall then, understand it within his mind. SGGS JI Ang 3 ?? Dhan Guru Nanak Dev ji ਗ੍ਰਿਸਤਿ ਕੁਟੰਬਿ ਪਲੇਟਿਆ ਕਦੇ ਹਰਖੁ ਕਦੇ ਸੋਗੁ ॥ ग्रिसति कुट्मबि पलेटिआ कदे हरखु कदे सोगु ॥ Garisaṯ kutamb paleti▫ā kaḏe harakẖ kaḏe sog. He who is wrapped up in household and family and sometimes feels joy and sometimes sorrow; ਗਉਣੁ ਕਰੇ ਚਹੁ ਕੁੰਟ ਕਾ ਘੜੀ ਨ ਬੈਸਣੁ ਸੋਇ ॥ गउणु करे चहु कुंट का घड़ी न बैसणु सोइ ॥ Ga▫oṇ kare cẖahu kunt kā gẖaṛī na baisaṇ so▫e. and wanders in four directions and cannot sit or sleep even for a moment; ਚਿਤਿ ਆਵੈ ਓਸੁ ਪਾਰਬ੍ਰਹਮੁ ਤਨੁ ਮਨੁ ਸੀਤਲੁ ਹੋਇ ॥੩॥ चिति आवै ओसु पारब्रहमु तनु मनु सीतलु होइ ॥३॥ Cẖiṯ āvai os pārbarahm ṯan man sīṯal ho▫e. ||3|| Were he to reflect over the Supreme Lord, his body and soul shall be cooled (rest at peace). SGGS Ji Ang 70 ?? Dhan Guru Arjan Dev ji ਨਾਮੁ ਧਨੁ ਨਾਮੁ ਸੁਖ ਰਾਜਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਕੁਟੰਬ ਸਹਾਈ ॥ नामु धनु नामु सुख राजा नामु कुट्मब सहाई ॥ Nām ḏẖan nām sukẖ rājā nām kutamb sahā▫ī. The Name is my wealth, the Name my royal peace and the Name my family and helper. SGGS ji Ang 497 ?? Dhan Guru Arjan Dev ji There are many pangtis, do a search and see what Guruji says.

Agree, it’s the actions of the person that makes somebody negative. There was a video I saw a while ago, on this, but can’t find it now. A person can also change from a negative one to a good one. Like they say, Every Saint has a past, and every sinner a future.

Translation please. Not everybody can read 10 million languages like you. ?

Main v nai apne aap nu pasand kardi, par ki kara, karna penda, kio ke koi kise nu nai karda ? Kira paji, ? here’s a tissue. Don’t return it back thanks ??

Yep I remember that one too. Going back to the OP’s post, it could be either what Singhbj paji says that she maybe cautious about what’s she’s saying so she doesn’t mess it up. She maybe worried that if she’s talks openly or asks too much then she maybe judged on that. Or it can be what Sikhni penji says, because without knowing her and the family, and reading what you’ve described, I thought this too immediately. Have you made sure she doesn’t want to marry anybody else or has a bf? This happens quite a bit, and there’s been cases where even with children, some women have left bringing the bf from back home abroad. You should have researched more about the girl and family, just as they would have you. But instead of jumping to conclusions without evidence, I guess you won’t know until you meet her and get to know her better and like S4ngh paji says, I think 7 years is a bit of a big gap. Is she 7 years younger or older?

Hanji penji, I said that, but I didn’t mean change ourselves to adapt to them. If somebody is being difficult and it’s hurting us, we should change the way we are in order to defend ourselves against the hurt. Eg: somebody will keep doing or saying the same things to hurt somebody, but that doesn’t mean just sit back and let them carry on doing it. What I meant by changing ourselves is change the way we portray or communicate ourselves with the person. Because if the person knows the person’s weakness that is being hurt, they will play on it more and take advantage of it. So one needs to find ways of becoming stronger to portray as somebody that can’t be hurt or messed about with. Nimrata and compassion is good, as long as the other person doesn’t see that they are hurting. So they can’t keep doing it, because that’s what they want, if they have problems of their own. Everybody else ends up getting hurt, because of their own issues/problems/selfishness. Your advise of becoming stronger from within was good, I like that. The soul should be strong to deal with negative people, and that’s what needs to be changed, the perception of the hurt can be changed so it doesn’t affect us as much. Also if I may add, having a serious talk with the person making it clear that enough is enough and will not be tolerated no more.

God will grace them in their Hukam. Each soul comes with their own karam into the world. Detachment and attachment should be a balance. It’s sounds easy, but when it’s a family member, sabar (patience), willpower, tolerance (within limits), adjustments, are important. One thing I’ve learned with relatives, is that I can’t change them, but I can change myself, so I don’t hurt from it.

Better prospects maybe ?

Agree with Prokharkoo84 and jkv penji. Instead of complaining they don’t do this, that and this, do it yourself, instead of expecting others to do everything.

You’re welcome ji.

Trust God only. Everybody else is human just like the rest of us. Give respect where it’s due and don’t worship people. Simple.

Well said.

Well done. ??

I have some coming round too, and they are very clever in what questions they start to ask to engage the person into their conversation, so they can’t get rid of them. “Do you think God is controlling the bad things happening in the world” is what I got asked. To which I replied “yes they’re do a brilliant job” and then they said “very good” and wanted to come inside putting one foot forward. I didn’t let them obviously, then they gave me a leaflet n shut the door. The second time they came round, I thought it was a parcel delivery, so opened the door. Didn’t give them a chance to say anything and said “I’m very very busy, sorry can’t talk, bye” and shut the door. No lecture, no leaflet. End of. The 3rd time they come I’m going to look out of the window to see who it is and not open the door. You can’t be opening doors nowadays to people without reason, they could be anybody and we need to look after ourselves. PS: you could say anything, but they’ll still agree to get the conversation rolling.

That’s because she’s tried to feed you with lies. There’s are cases that are false allegations, but leave that for the police and courts to decide, as it’s not your job to do that. Don’t be skeptical, it maybe because you don’t know anybody personally that has been through it, so never judge anybody without knowing them. You did well by reporting her, as she could have ruined somebody’s life with false allegations.

Thank you Admin/Mods for deleting it.

Then Admin/Mods need to tell him he can’t write things like that and needs to get help also.