Tera

I think it sounds like an amazing idea and no doubt it has not been an easy thing at all to get it to this stage. So my thanks to everyone invloved. This just sounds like a great way for all Gurdwards & Jathabandia to come together and unite with our common goals, interests and future and actually work together to make a difference, rather than bickering about our small differences. So for all those criticising - no offence but don't just talk the talk, walk the walk too... It is all good and well saying it will only be same faces there or the same sort of work done in the past HOWEVER if you will not get up and get involved, then don't talk anything about those countless sevadaar who do see it as their duty to do panthic work and take their time out and do so.

I think you are looking at this the wrong way. This is just my personal opinion by the way... Anand Karaj is more than just marrying your partner, read the Lavan and this is clear. The Singh and Singhni are present before Sri Guru Granth Sahib Jee and undertaking this marriage between themselves but ultimately between their soul bride and the Husband Lord. The Lavan go through the stages of this marriage with Vaheguru and the couple then becoming as one soul aim to fulfill this marriage with Vaheguru and try to attain true union. Therefore, as a couple with one soul in 2 bodies, your marriage with Vaheguru is the essence of the Anand Karaj. For each Lavan read, a parkarma is performed around Sri Guru Granth Sahib Jee Maharaj. Now this is where equality comes in. It is all about Maharaj. To show equality before Maharaj they both perform Parkarma not side by side where one is further away than the other to Maharaj but instead one in front of the other where they are both equal before Maharaj. So why the Singh first and not the Singhni? I have no idea, however, this is how things were/are done and how it should remain - we should not be so quick to judge and question things but rather concentrate on the more important things in life. Hope that helped - but again, just my personal opinion so take with a pinch of salt.

Talk about resurrecting an old topic... but anyway. I'm a Singh and at first I used to wear what I thought was normal kasherey. I like wearing longer length kacherey but had same problem in that the open loose leg on them would mean it was a little awkward when wearing trousers/jeans. However, then I saw the breakey waley kacherey as they are known as which have a V shape on the bottom. They are little tighter at the bottom and actually get tight when you sit cross legged (takes a little getting used to) hence often called breakey waley as breakey lag jandeya. I find them much more comfortable, think its a lot better they how actually close at the bottom rather than stay loose and open and they are also a lot easier when wearing trousers/jeans etc. Maybe try them...

This may help -

VJKK VJKF... Maharaj kirpa naal I was lucky enough to get engaged recently too. Well, Pyaar had actually already been given between families when we all initially agreed to go ahead quite some time back but we wanted to this to be approved/celebrated in front of Maharaj before the Anand Karaj (next year) - It all happening in front of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Jee Maharaj is what we'd class as the proper engagement. We are both Amritdhari and so didn't want anything like the standard kurmai and chunni so we read through the Rehat regarding this and here is what we finally ended up doing. We had a program at the Gurdwara attended by both sides - Asa dee Vaar Kirtan followed by Sukhmani Sahib Paath and then Katha and Kirtan. Started Asa Dee Vaar Kirtan at 7.30am and Sukhmani Sahib da Paath starting around 9.30am. Program finished after Kirtan and Katha at around 2.00pm I think it was. During the program after the Ardaas & Hukamnama (but before the Kirtan & Katha) the Kurmai Shabads were sung, after which a couple of members (male members as I was sat on the guys side) of the girls family came to me gifting me with Dastaar, Sri Sahib, Pyaar and Mita (something sweet - I told em no daate thing lol, but misharee would do so that's what I got). This was then repeated in which couple of members of my family (again, female members just as its easier as Singhni is on ladies side so my mum, grandma) went to Singhni gifting her with a suit, Dastaar, Sri Sahib, Pyaar and some Mita (she got ladoo - why didnt I think of that, not fair lol). Seriously though, we all thought that Maharaj Kirpa Naal it went great. We invited a lot of sangat and it just seemed so peaceful and nice. It was all just very simple with no fuss or rush and think it showed equality on both sides. Hopefully the day of the Lavan will go just as great. Anyways, _gupt geeza_, hope thats helped you. Oh and congratulations in advance phaji

Vaheguru

Nice, Thanks

Guru Jee gave us 5 kakaar, not 4. If we want to follow His path we cannot pick and choose which bits we want to follow and which bits we don't. We should aim to leave our manmat thinking behind and follow the Gurus Way - Gurmat. When someone takes Amrit, they are told by the Panj Pyares about the Rehat they must keep which includes all Panj Kakaar. And as Sri Guru Gobind Singh Jee Maharaj said... 'Rehat pyaree muj ku, Sikh pyara nahi'.

Pointless to be doing this now - Especially as England Team is already there now...

"Rehat Pyaree Mujh Ko, Sikh Pyara Nahee" Sri Guru Gobind Singh Jee A very plain and simple bachan by Dasven Paatshah Sri Guru Gobind Singh Jee - something to think about...

I'd think not... Not like it was intentional or anything. If you'd like to though, maybe just do a Japji Sahib and Ardaas... more the better eh

I commuted to and from Uni (around 1 hours drive) as preferred the option to stay at home. Whilst there, you would get offers to go out constantly and even though it may have seemed a bit antisocial I would always refuse any offers of pubs/clubs etc. Would head with them into town, shops, go play pool etc though. After a while they figured out what I would and wouldnt do and stopped asking. Yes, sometimes you'd feel a slight outsider as sometimes talk would be centered around what they did last night and going tonight etc but didnt bother me at all. You just need to be firm and stand your ground. Think before you even go what you will and wont do and stick to it rigidly. If you start to give an inch, before you know it you'll have gone a mile and its a downward spiral. Also try and find good like minded sangat, try and go to your Sikh Society and local Gurdwaras / Sikh Organisations. Above all Ardaas, and remember, Maharaaj is always with you

Stay strong Singh... I think you definitely need someone to go in and do a talk about Sikhi maybe in an assembly or something. Where are you from Singh? Maybe someone from your Gurdwara or some other sevadar could go in and educate the other children about the beauty of Sikhi and the Sikhi Saroop.

Seems to me you both had some doubts (perfectly normal in such big decision). What seems to be the downfall of it was the thinking of her family in pressuring her into making a yes/no decision immediately. If she had doubts and had to make a yes/no decision then no was probably the correct answer for her to give given the circumstances and this may have not been a proper no - if you get what I mean. However, only you know what she was like, her thinking and what her doubts were and whether things could have been resolved and things progressing. This could only happen if she was interested too. If you think there was a chance, then openly talk to your family. They could approach the girls side again and maybe you could sit down again and see if you can resolve the doubts if possible.

I can see that working your mid section pretty well lol. In my opinion though, if someone wants to do it then fine but I think we can matha tehk and 'offer our head' all we want but its only through realisation, pyaar, commitment for Vaheguru that you truely matha tehk / give your head. Regarding not needing anyone for help... when you learn to accept Vahegurus Hukam (good or bad on a worldy level) as true when you will not need anyone for help as such sehaj avaastha is developed and everything that's happens is seen as His will.

Thank you

I think it would be better if you could see everyone online rather than friends... Sure i'm not alone in that I've never gone into the profile sections or added friends etc

Very nice

I think you should talk to the Panj Pyare. Whatever they say goes...

When you say your selling the shop - what does that mean? I think you should post some more info about it I think to entice potential new owners... like: What do they get, domain name/website/stock etc Details of Suppliers and arrangement, do you just ring and they send and pay after? Sales figures/ Costs & of course price...

CONGRATULATIONS :D

Yup, ours need sharpening too... Anybody?

Beautiful

_Guptx_ - Small steps/goals that someone suggested seems like maybe a good idea, just think day by day and see what happens hunna. But its not just yourselves who needs such advice, Kaam affects most of us in different ways, me included and far beyond the 16-19 peak age someone mentioned. Maharaj sade saareya ta bakhshas karey athey Kaam, Krodh, Lobh, Moh, Hunkaar thu dhoor rakhey.

Course you can answer... You make it sound as this is only a problem for guys, surely women are affected too aren't they?