GuptKaurUK

No worries, glad to hear that you are feeling better today. Take care.

eikanaa hukamee bakhasees eik hukamee sadhaa bhavaaeeahi | Some, by His Command, are blessed and forgiven; others, by His Command, wander aimlessly forever. I think what stands out for me is that you have recognised what may have been a mistake and more importantly become more vigilant and determinded not to falter and so I would take that as being a blessing. NB: I have no gyan so please forgive any mistakes with my interpretation of gurbani.

I have to say I disagree with some of the above comments, unless I have misunderstood the message. I think what penji may have been trying to highlight is the importance of having a positive outlook and embracing things that you enjoy, things that will uplift your mood... although I would say these are only temporary measures, which is why we must try our upmost to engage in gurbani/ kirtan/ seva etc for long lasting peace of mind. Life experience (overcoming difficulties) can make you stronger, so don't look upon your situation as a negative one.

You might want to do ardas, daily if you so wish, whatever feels right for you. I say this because I heard in katha of a couple who had problems concieving for whatever reason. The doctors recommended that the bibi have an operation, the bibi turned to the doctor and asked whether he could guarantee that it would work, and he advised that there is no guarantee that it will work. The penji refused to have the operation as she had firm faith in maharaj, they believed that maharaj could give a 100% guarantee and that maharaj would one day bless them with a child, and through ardas and alot of patience, penji did give birth. I hope things work out and you too are blessed with faith and patience, the rest is guru jee's kirpa.

penji, at the amrit sanchar i attended, panj pyare checked our kakkars, that was the reason I said what I did. I don't know whether that was the case for you. There are people that follow slightly different rehat, some wear a steel kara and some wear a iron kara, so you will be faced with a difference of opinion whoever you ask. I follow the rehat that I was given by the panj pyare. As this is getting off topic, pm me if you need to and sorry for any confusion that I may have caused.

Wear whatever you wore to your amrit sanchar penji.

JFI: I am not saying I agree/disagree with this. To clarify: As far as the quote I made was concerned, in all honestly I was reluntant to quote from that source. If you read the first thing I wrote, I advise to refer to the rehat marayda (so it is up to each individual to make of that what they will) OR refer to what panj pyare advise. You're doomed if you do, and you're doomed if you don't! I just didn't want people being left with the thought that if they do paat first, they can remove their kirpan.

God is ang sang, always with you, so he hasn't left you. You haven't lost your faith, despite what you have said, otherwise you wouldn't be asking for ardas. The best person to help you, is yourself. If you don't enjoy certain things, where appropriate, try exploring new hobbies and interests... this will soon keep your mind occupied if you are feeling low... it will provide you with the opportunity to meet new people. Charity work is always a good place to start, even if it's just for an hour or two a week. Seva is given by god's grace and will definately help you. Just be mindful of your expectations, we all experience dukh. If the pain won't go away, feed yourself a bigger spoon of medicine (here i refer to gurbani as the medicine). Take a step back and reflect in time, it won't be as bad as you once thought.

If in doubt refer to the rehat maryada or what you were advised by the panj pyare during your amrit sanchar. The following quotation has been taken from the Rehat maryada which I understand has been approved by Akal Takht: "Have, on your person, all the time, the five K’s: The Keshas (unshorn hair), the Kirpan (sheathed sword) [The length of the sword to be worn is not prescribed.], the Kachhehra [The Kachhehra (drawers like garment) may be made from any cloth, but its legs should not reach down to below the shins.], the Kanga (comb), the Karha (steel bracelet) [The karha should be of pure steel.]" Here the length of the sword is not prescribed, however a symbol of a kirpan, can not function as a kirpan... that is what makes a clear distinction between the two in my view.

Perhaps you need to understand why you are getting angry in the first place?

The first time, I heard the video, and i even turned it up... i couldn't even tell it was gurbani being sung... what struck me was the tune and the beat (perhaps my focus was more visual than audio)... I wonder how many people actually present were aware of what was being sung.

Instead of quitting his job, and I don't know how feasible this might be, but perhaps he could ask to move departments... so he works on produce (fruit and veg section) or clothing?

If you have found suitable profiles on Sikh matrimonals then pay a fee (there's various options) so that they can send you their contact details. Unless one party pays a subscription you can not reply, which maybe why your not getting the responses. A free one is gurmat.com, although I think it's less popular and more likely to contain out of date profiles / people who have found someone... so try the most recent ones first.

Sometimes people wear more than one kirpan, a smaller one underneath clothing and a larger size over the top. However, referring to the video and as far as I can tell, I don't believe the singh is wearing one underneath his vest, he is wearing a symbol of a kirpan around his neck and so he may have regarded that as acceptable. Amritdhari's have differing views on this. I do not think wearing a symbol of a kirpan is acceptable. I would not have removed the gatra and kirpan, I would have made it more secure. Panj pyare tell us that we are permitted to remove the kirpa when travelling by aircraft, in order to comply with the law of the land. It is not necessary for us to remove our kirpans whilst taking part in sport, instead we should ensure that all kakkars are secure.

Personally I would let them know that you would rather that they didn't swear infront of you. I won't recommend any particular approach as i think you are in a position to be the best judge of that. You don't neccessarily need to tell them it's wrong, they can figure that out themselves. I was very fortunate in my previous job that although I worked amongst people that would usually swear or discuss things that I may find offensive, they were courteous and refrained from doing so in my presence, without me actually asking them to do so.

It sounds like you have found a person you are well connected with, perhaps you have alot in common or are on a similar level spiritually... whatever it maybe, as others have suggested i would consider it as a brotherly relationship. However, I would also like to stress, that people come and go, regardless of how close you might be today... so don't let yourself get too involved in his life, keep some space... continue to pursue your hobbies / interests etc. It is very likely that I am much older than you, and therefore I am advising based on life experience. I have a girl friend who I have known for 12 years, at the time we met we were very close and I would still say we have a sisterly relationship... however we don't talk or meet very often, she is married with a little boy and lives about 70 miles away now, so things change as life goes on. You need to see past the here and now, if you want to get married then no friendship should stand in the way.

There is also gurmat.com which provides a free service. I believe a few people use Sikh matrimonals. Once family and relatives, neighbours are aware, they can ask around, even if they are not amritdhari themselves... they may work with someone, be related to someone etc.

penji don't carry the extra baggage... try not to concern yourself with everyone else, if you have some good sangat then great, stick with them... remember people come and go... try and build a stronger relationship with maharaj. look after yourself. Vaheguru jee ka khalsa, Vaheguru jee ke fateh.

I am glad he never got a date.

VJKK VJKF I was reluntant to respond without sufficient information and neither am I a medical professional. However, I would strongly suggest that you do not become tempted to try any crash diets as these are not recommended. I was also going to advise you against the above but you seem to have picked up on that one. There are a couple of threads on the health and fitness forum which contain some meal suggestions. You may benefit from discussing with your GP if you have a substantial amount of weight to loose. I can only advise of heathly meal options.

You don't know how lucky you are to be a female. In case that you are not aware, males get raped too, not just women.

For an occassional treat: Try sliced banana with a pot of vanilla petit filous poured over. They are only small pots, that come in a pack of 6.

I mentioned before I brought quinoa and didn't really know what to have with it.. today I made roasted veg (pepper, courgettes and aubergine), put the cooked quinoa and veg in a bowl, mixed in sauce and a bit of grated cheese. It;s good with dhal, but when you don't have any, this is an alternative.

Voicing your opinion - You need to believe in what you are saying. If your not certain, then find a way of checking your information. Preparation is key.

Singh, in my opinion you need to change your workout in order to gain muscle mass. pm me if you want to know what i do.