Medallion Stallion

It was meant to be a joke God knows this forum needs to lighten up a bit......its becoming boring and depressing people are always arguing!

bump

TITANIC VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet. CLINTON VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet. TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long. CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long. TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe. CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe. TITANIC VIDEO: Villain: White Star Line. CLINTON VIDEO: Villain: Ken Starr. TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist. CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a B.S. artist. TITANIC VIDEO: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar. CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Bill. TITANIC VIDEO: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Monica. TITANIC VIDEO: Jack teaches Rose to spit. CLINTON VIDEO: Let's not go there. TITANIC VIDEO: The ship goes down. CLINTON VIDEO: Let's not go there, either. TITANIC VIDEO: Rose gets to keep her jewelry. CLINTON VIDEO: Monica's forced to return her gifts. TITANIC VIDEO: Behind the scenes: Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly popular. CLINTON VIDEO: Behind the scenes: Bill Clinton's approval rating is at 70 percent. TITANIC VIDEO: Jack surrenders to an icy death. CLINTON VIDEO: Bill goes home to Hillary.

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He bends down and asks her if she is ok. She groans, "Yes." He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. Then he asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, "FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."

TOP TEN REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY WOMEN (and what they really mean) 10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek from "Deliverance.") 9. There is a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.) 8. I'm not attracted to you in "that" way. (You are the ugliest person I've ever seen.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I dont' want you spending the whole night or else you might hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.) 6. I've got a boyfriend. (Who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Borden's ice cream.) 5. I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building.) 4. It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.) 3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.) 2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only men like you.) And The Number 1 Rejection Line Given By Women (and what it actually means) ... 1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's that male perspective thing.) ________________________________________________________________________________ _ TOP TEN REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY MEN (and what they really mean) 10. I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly) 9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly) 8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You're ugly) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly) 6. I've got a girlfriend. (You're ugly) 5. I don't date women where I work. (You're ugly) 4. It's not you, it's me. (You're ugly) 3. I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly) 2. I'm celibate. (You're ugly) And The Number 1 Rejection Line Given By Men (and what it actually means) ... 1. Let's be friends. (You're sinfully ugly)

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?" asks the cop. "I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act." "Oh yeah?" says the doubtful cop. "Lets see you do it." The juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully. A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!"

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in the bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks, "Where are you from?" I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds, "You don't say. I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man, and they both pour back their drinks. Curious, the first man then asks, "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it!" says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin!" The men both continue drinking. Curiosity strikes again and the first man asks, "What school did you go to?" "St. Mary's," replied the second man. "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable," the first man says. "I went to St. Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Mally twins are drunk again."

A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place.... Man: "What's the problem officer?" Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone." Man: "No sir, I was going 65." Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gives his wife a dirty look.) Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light." Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!" Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks." (The man gives his wife another dirty look.) Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seatbelt." Man: "Oh I just took it off when you were walking up to the car." Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt." The man turns to his wife and yells, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" The Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?" The wife says, "No, only when he's drunk."

everybody here has probably one good quality they are proud of e.g. dont drink or smoke, do paath, jaap naam etc but one should try to remain humble init otherwise bigging yourself feeds ur ego...........

Problem: Ego...................btw im perfect then again everyone has an ego......u cant see until others point it out to you and once you realise your faults thats when you can really better yourself otherwise you will remain in that messed up cycle.

AUNTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell them cos they probably want to marry u off too..........dont put all ur hopes on the internet its all an illusion anyway

Try those online matrimonial services.

I know standards are slipping BUT this is ridiculous

:cool:

:cool:

True Funny Exam Answers Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: What is a Hindu? A: It lays eggs. Funny History Answers Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of that name. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?" Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah." The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand.". Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus." Joan of Arc was burn to a steak and was canonised by Bernard Shaw. Finally, Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offence. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head. Funny Science Exam Answers When you breath, you inspire. When you don't breath, you expire. The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects. A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. For head colds, use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops into your throat. The moon is a planet just like Earth, only deader.

I would ask God why do 16 year old girls run off with horses? :cool: (sori couldnt help myself :lol: )

The person above needs to lighten up.

The person above should be called KP from now on

the member above has a kool avatar.

I like this website but some members are dodgy and have their own agendas init

Bloody Brilliant!!! His powerful voice shut everyone up :nihungsmile:

The user above is right.

Damn thats messed up! i feel for your bro........i hope he got through everything alright but something like this would have hurt him deep........................