skaur8888

Dear SikhSangat ji I just came back from gurdwara, during the akhand patt for Vaisakhi, karah parsad was distributed in the middle of Japji Sahib, soon as this happened people began talking and the noise levels were such that the volume on the speakers had to be increased. As the darbar hall has an open staircase from the lower level, all you could hear was the racket coming from downstairs including children screaming and running around. There was an announcement made for quiet but didn't make much difference. I has so hurt and ashamed at this, what will become of our beautiful sikhi if people don't know how to respect our Guru ji. Seems as if people are just their for the social side of it - talking and wearing nice clothes. How can we educate people if they don't listen to the giani? Viaguruji ka khalsa, viagurji ka fateh

thank you so much for all of your advice/suggestions.

Dear Sangatji My close relative has passed away today. The family live far so I won't be able to take part in the patt, but I will go for the funeral when it's arranged. I will be working in the day, but wanted to pray for my relative until the funeral, could you give me advice about which patt I should do. I don't have family where I am, there is gurdwara but no programmes every day - they have evening programme two evenings in the week so I can go to those . Waheguruji ka khalsa Waheguruji ka fateh

Don't give up, everyone makes mistakes only Waheguruji is perfect. Important thing is to keep trying and have people around you who support you, the types who won't encourage you to drink. Whatever you feel brings you closer to Waheguruji, keep doing that - simran, going to gurdwara, listening to kirtan, being in nature and be patient with yourself as it takes time to change, it won't happen overnight as we are surrounded by maya.. Let it happen naturally, in my experience, it won't help to force yourself.

helped me to listen to Japji Sahib every morning on a CD, and recite along using a gutka. Then in evening I tried to memorise one pauri looking at the English translations to help to understand the meanings. Found it difficult at the beginning but over time it was a lot easier as my mind naturally tuned into the sounds and rhythm because I was listening everyday. I think that is the power of bani, feels natural and effortless after a while, all with Waheguruji's blessings. Try not to put pressure on yourself, let it happen naturally and enjoy the experience.

As Sikhs we are taught to respect all religions, but must take care not to jeopardise Sikhi - I heard on the radio a few days ago that a Sikh welfare organisation was planning to give out xmas meals on Christmas day, with Christmas music playing, presents and santa hats - there must be good intentions behnd this but has to be a limit, we are not Christians. Why not hand the meals out on viasakhi?

try and find a way to connect to Waheguru, once you do you realise you're not alone. Some ways that help me are listening to patt I feel a special connection to - it was listening to Anand Sahib that got me interested to find out more. You're lucky you can read gurbani, maybe the next step is to get English translations so you can connect to the meanings. Do you have access to the Sikh channels, there's a daily programme explaining the hukamnamma in Punjabi and English on Sikh Channel, think its on at 1.30pm. I like your idea of visiting Punjab, especially Harmandir Sahib, but maybe like someone else suggested, try a sikhi camp here first. Joining in singing of shabads with sangat at gurdwara is very powerful too, I know some people feel connected doing seva at the gurdwara, suppose its finding what works for you, but once you find it you just want Waheguru in your life as he/she is the only one you can truly depend on, the one who's been with you through all your lives not just this one.

being single you have time and energy to devote to Waheguru, I'm not saying give up on meeting someone but use some of the precious time you have to get close to Waheguru as he is the only one who will always be with you, husbands/wifes, parents and children are only for this lifetime.

Can sympathise with you as I'm in a similar position. Have you tried matrimonial websites, they didn't help me but its worked for others. Alsothere's a matrimonial section on this site and the Sangat TV have matrimonials too so these could be worth a try. I've reached the point where I've accepted I'm not married and its part of Waheguru's plan and me worrying about it won't change the situation. I think I've been too attached to other people, like family and also in my previous lives too and so if I was married now I wouldn't be trying to get close to Waheguru. I try to focus on making a life for myself - my job involves helping others which makes me feel I can still be useful and do seva for others, have my own house and can financially take care of myself. I have friends who're also single and happy people so I don't feel a freak as in our culture being a single women is not seen as positive. The message of our Gurus - accepting all equally - comforts me as I know I'm accepted by Waheguru, no matter if I'm not surrounded by family when I'm at the gurdwara.

From a Sikh perspective I feel depression comes from losing something we're attached to, like another person. Our relationships to other people are all temporary as we have many life times, it is only when we have a relationship with Waheguru that we have someone we can truly attach to and not feel depressed as Waheguru will not let us down. It doesn't mean you don't still feel love for others but you become aware that ultimately it is Waheguru who is the one you can truly rely on. I've felt depressed from feeling let down by my family who I was very close to but those feelings helped me see Waheguru is the one who will never let me down and maybe I was too attached to my family. Spend time doing simran and feeling close to Waheguru, just start with a few minutes and you will start feeling Waheguruji is close to you. Also practical things like doing things you enjoy and spending time with people who care about you, can help to build your confidence as it sounds like he didn't treat you well which can affect confidence in yourself. Hope this helps.

Bobby Friction was on TV a while ago saying he didn't believe in any religion, Sunny Hundal in the article calls himself a "cultural Sikh", - they need to educate themselves about the Anand Karaj instead of calling people fundamentalists and extremist. People already mistake us for Muslims and comments like these are irresponsible

Yes the Sikh Helpline is a good one to try. Also is there anyone at the gurdwara you can approach for support? Could you speak to your doctor/GP about services available near to you to help families with autistic children, even if they're not Sikh they might be able to help in some way. Please don't blame yourself, our culture tends to blame women for most situations and people tend to look down on anyone who doesn't meet the norms of what these people think is acceptable or normal. My dad left when I was very young and that was an excuse for people to look down on us. Its sad that it happens, but keep your faith in our Gurus and Waheguruji,

I just got back from the gurdwara, it was like a circus - children running around and shouting in the darbar hall, people busy greeting and hugging each other with their back to Guruji, doing metha tek and going straight down to langar. phones going off, why are people so disrespectful - they have all week to chat and spend time with relatives, why bother coming to gurdwara if they can't put their own needs aside to respect our Guru. there's a lot of ignorance and I'm shocked how people behave in the gurdwara, unless you're very enlightened person - these petty behaviours can affect others and puts me off going especially when there's big celebrations - the gorah that were there showed more respect then our own people. Does anyone know if people behave in India like this or is it just the UK?

I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but why have you decided to marry in an Indian temple, if your intended husband does not know "the ins and outs of " Sikhism. the marriage ceremony involves a commitment to follow Guru Granth Sahibji. if you find a place in india that agrees to go ahead, you and intended husband should look into what the ceremony means and also into the basic values of Sikhi, otherwise it is disrespectful to our Guru and makes a mockery of the Anand Karaj.

Because Punjabi culture is engrained with respect for elders. which is very positive, the focus it is very biased against movements from the young, I think PTV need to appeal to all who are disillusioned or marginalised from the committees - women, those not loaded with money/connections, those who love Sikhi - its more likely to be taken seriously by the all voters not just the young as they will need to appeal to everyone not just the young.

yes that sounds a good idea, but I just don't see the existing people letting it happen. if there is a new gurdwara the disillusioned sangat and their money will go there, then the current committees may change their mentality as they realise less people are turning up.

shameful, TPV should set up a new gurdwara, as it will be very difficult to change the committees - they have too much invested in keeping their positions. in the Sikh Channel debate the main parties focus was arguments over money and buildings, and only talked about Sikhi when the TPV person asked what their plans were to promote Sikhi. So disrespectful to our Gurus.

granthi looks very uncomfortable, most of the indian looking men are bald, if they want to marry non-sikhs its their choice, but please stop making a mockery of Sikhi just for the sake of having a trendy fusion wedding

Good news, the target has been reached. I hope some of the people who've been moaning on here get in touch with Sangat TV and suggest how they can improve. I doubt if so many people would have turned upto the 1984 march in London this year without the TV stations making us aware of it - so don't understand why people here are saying they don't do anything positive. Now they can continue their good work and seva.

I agree that the channels are not perfect all the more reason to get involved so they can improve and cater for everyone, instead of writing them off - they're not professionals as that costs a lot of money. yes they could do with more programmes in English, younger presenters and more women, but there are some great programmes which have helped me learn more about and understand Sikhi e.g the Hukamnamma everyday which is in Punjabi and English, the questions and answers session from Derby gurdwara on sundays, the naam simran sessions, and cookery programme on Saturdays.

Drummer ji, I don't see it as "strange" - having a TV channel focusing on Sikhi is one of the most powerful ways to spread the message of our gurus and reach people better than watching mindless soaps and the rubbish on mainstream channels. having more than one channel gives more choice to people, after all could we manage with just one gurdwara?

Dear Sangat ji Please consider to donate to Sangat TV as they need £160,000 before the end of August or they will no longer be running www.sangattelevision.org Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ka fateh

This is supposed to be a Sikh site so please stop using offensive words such as "muzzies". Israel has trapped the Palestinians as they control the borders and so they have no choice except to fight back - our Gurus said people have a right to defend themselves against bullies - Israel is not targeting terrorists - but anyone who lives in Gaza, women and children included. any other country would be condemned by the whole world but Israel seems to be able to get away with it.

Dear Singhni I know its difficult but try not to compare yourself to others, they may seem to be confident and having fun, but are they really? You sound like a caring person who thinks of others, and not obsessed with having a good time - I was in a similar position when I was younger, had more responsibility than other people my age and didn't feel I fitted in with them - an outsider as I wasn't going out and part of the crowd. But I feel those experiences made me more mature and caring to others. As you get older your confidence in yourself grows. Waheguru made each of us and has blessed you with a caring nature. Try to spend time with true friends and people who appreciate you and avoid the shallow types. Hope that helps

no problem, hope things get better for your sister and family