ipledgeblue

Many girls love the bearded look. I remember when my beard was just growing and I used to wear a patka in 6th form, many goris loved it --- lol anyway... Instead of getting with these girls, you need to find a marital partner. I myself went through the pain with going through all these arranged marriage talks with these alcoholic families and so on... If we marry into these families we will experience pain. The pain is made worse if we cut our beards or even hairs for these families. I prefer not to hang around my relatives as I will experience anti-gurmat pain and lack of turban respect. Although you follow some of Guru's rehat, you also need to follow Guru Nanak's way of grihast jeevan. Because many sikh families are now not follow grihast jeevan early enough, it is causing a lot of pain in sikh population with excessive lust and stupid dating partnerships and so on... IF you can marry out of these families and instead into gursikh families, this will greatly help you. However, a wife from gursikh family will probably find it painful living with your families. Even though you are going to uni, and also such a good one, I am still mentioning marriage. IF you cannot stay out of pre-marital lust then marriage will be a good support for you , even at your age. I went through so much pain of controlling lust during 6th form, so much attention but I only wanted to find a good sikh girl. University I went through this pain as well and somehow controlled myself again, especially difficult when seeing apney do this girlfriend-boyfriend stuff all around you. I also recommend incorporating Guru Gobind Singh's banis in nitnem. Since you wore chola, maybe you already did? Chandi Charritar, Chandi Di Vaar, Uggardanti, Shastar Naam Mala. Also Sampooran Rehraas and sleep with Rakhiya deh shabad with Keertan Sohila. You're so lucky though. I started full Japji Sahib paat probably during or after 6th form. Before I only knew like 5 pauris.

so how would this apply to doing keertan in raag and with tanti saaj as opposed to using harmonium and perhaps other tunes including bollywood bhangra tunes?

I know right? talk about misleading

I read cassette alarm, and thought who has that anymore? Then saw that the OP was from 2004 LOL!

"Wicked Dhadis" sounds more like an evil title!

I guess Tej prefers to show his bald head to people?

yes completely removing kesh is different as sadhus do this such as Baba sri Chand, and of course monks such as Buddha-panth. This has been true for a long time in Bharat history. The shaving usually signifies renouncing something, such as renouncing society or something else. This is not compatible with mainstream sikh panth as grihast jeevan is recommended.

no one seems to have replied with the proper nitnem then?

One thing I would hate about Canada is how far it is from India. I hate the flight from London to India, and to go from Canada I would hate is so much more, would at least try and stop in London for a few days lol

yeh, it's also a problem that people need to know why they cut kesh in the first place. Insaan has been given roop with kesh, so to have to go through kesh removal ritual without good reason is very silly for a sikh.

In Canada is there a women's shelter you can go to, or relatives? Canada is big, you could to to a far away state where your in-laws cannot find you.

Also for OP, I think growing your hair will help you with become more spiritual. Long hair has always been promoted to help develop spritualness, it will help open your dasam duar coupled with meditation.

I beg to differ, let's see what dasmeh patshah has to say about this =) ਸ੍ਰੀ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਜੀ ! ਤੁਮ ਪੰਥ ਚਲਾਯੋ ॥ ਬਾਣਾ ਰਚਯੋ ਕੇਸ਼ ਰਖਵਾਯੋ ॥ [Nau Nidh speaking] “Oh Lord, you have started this Path, you have created this dress and made them keep Kesh.ਗੁਰੂ ਗਰੀਬ ਨਿਵਾਜ ਬਤਾਵਹੁ॥ ਕਿਸ ਕਾਰਨ ਕਰਿ ਇਨਹੁਂ ਰਖਾਵਹੁ ?॥3॥Guru Ji, helper of the poor, tell me - Why do you make them keep Kesh?ਸੁਨਿ ਸ਼੍ਰੀ ਮੁਖ ਫੁਰਮਾਵਨਿ ਕਰਯੋ ॥ ਤੁਮ ਕੋ ਸ਼ਾਸਤ੍ਰ ਬਹੁਤ ਬਿਚਰ੍ਯੋ ॥Hearing the words [of Nau Nidh], Guru Ji said, "You have studied many Shaastras”ਪੜ੍ਹਨ ਸ਼੍ਰਵਨ ਮਹਿਂ ਬੈਸ ਬਿਤਾਈ ॥ ਇਹ ਗਤਿ ਲਖੀ ਕਿ ਨਹਿਂ ਤੁਮ ਪਾਈ ॥4॥“You have spent your life listening and reciting the Shaastras, yet you have not come to realize the answer”ਧਰਮ ਰਖਨਿ ਕੇਸ਼ਾਦਿਕ ਭਲੇ ॥ ਸਨਕਾਦਿਕ ਤੇ ਆਵਤਿ ਚਲੇ ॥ Adorning Kesh is beneficial to keeping one’s Dharam, since the start of time this has been the tradition.ਭਾਰਥ ਖੰਡ ਬਿਖੈ ਸ਼ੁਭ ਦੇਸ਼ ॥ ਕੇਸ਼ ਰਾਖਣੋ ਧਰਮ ਬਿਸ਼ੇਸ਼’ ॥5॥In the great land of Bharat [India], keeping Kesh is an exalted part of Dharam.ਸੁਨਿ ਕੈ ਨਉਨਿਧ ਬਹੁਰ ਬਖਾਨਾ ॥ ਆਪ ਕਹਹੁ ਸਭਿ ਸਾਚ ਪ੍ਰਮਾਨਾ ॥Listening to the answer, Nau Nidh replied, “what you have said is true.ਪ੍ਰਥਮ ਕੇਸ਼ ਧਾਰੀ ਸਭਿ ਕੋਈ ॥ ਅਬਿ ਤੌ ਸਮਾ ਰਹ੍ਯੋ ਨਹਿਂ ਸੋਈ’ ॥6॥Everyone used to keep their Kesh, however times have changed.”ਸ਼੍ਰੀ ਗੁਰ ਭਨ੍ਯੋ ‘ਸਮਾ ਕ੍ਯਾ ਕਹੈ ॥ ਸੋ ਰਵਿ ਸੋ ਸਸਿ, ਸੋ ਜਲ ਅਹੈ ॥ ਬਾਯੂ, ਬੰਨੀ, ਬਸੁਧਾ ੳਈ ॥ ਦੋਸ਼ ਸਮੈ ਕੋ ਕ੍ਯਾ ਕਹਿ ਕੋਈ ॥7॥ Guru Ji replied, “How have times changed? The same sun remains, the same moon, water, wind, fire and Earth remain. How can you blame time?ਆਪਨ ਆਪ ਕੋ ਦੋਸ਼ ਲਖੀਜੈ । ਰਾਖੇ ਜਾਇਂ ਨ, ਸਾਚ ਕਹੀਜੈ ॥ Blame yourself for not being able to keep Kesh, speak the truth Nau Nidh.ਕੇਸ਼ ਰਖਨਿ ਕੀ ਸਮਰਥ ਹੀਨੇ ॥ ਦੋਸ਼ ਸਮੇਂ ਪਰ ਕਲਪਨ ਕੀਨੇ ॥8॥ You do not have the strength to keep Kesh so you dismissively blame the times for changing.

if it does not matter then why cut kesh in the first place? Surely the cutting of kesh is following societal norms and rejecting our culture, especially when one increases ego by trying all these different hairstyles?

It's parents responsibility to make sure they bring up the children with kesh. When the children are old enough, then they can decide if they need to go through with the haircut ritual. As sikhs, we should treat haircut as a useless and wasteful ritual.

as in the panj piaray created by Guru Gobind Singh weren't in these jatha things we have now. (again, not following maryada lolz)

Instead of converting, please grow into sikhi. Learn gurmukhi and do simran. Also it will be easy to memorise mool mantar and even some pauris of Japji. This will grow you as a sikh instead of converting to just a label.

Please read more Japji Sahib so you can understand more about the different spiritual khands as well (these are described near the end of the paat).

I can tell you what is in the Buddha Dal gutka as from the banis I read yesterday ( I haven't finished full nitnem today, been at work and trying to finish using headphones, also terrible at waking at amritvela): Japji Sahib Shabad Hazare Jaap Sahib Shabad Hazare patshahi 10 Twa Parsad Swaiye Twa Parsad Swaiye - Deenan ke pratipal Akal Ustat Chaupai - Pranvo Aad Ekankara ... Chaupai Sahib (long version) Anand Sahib Chandi Charitar Ustat Chandi Di Vaar Uggardanti Shastar Naam Maala Evening Sodar Rehraas (Sampooran) Aarti Aarta (long) - Lop Chandika Night Rakhiya de shabad and Keertan Sohila (I forget the order because I normally don't use the gutka for my sleeping paat and normally listen to a slightly different version by Baba Nihal Singh) And hopefully someone can explain and expand this and add any or subtract banis according to maryada.

Panj piaray that wear bana for show and never trained in their shastar, yeh I don't see the point in trying to go to 'Singhs' who don't really follow maryada to the level of being called a panj piyara that wears bana!

We should only help raagis who do gurmat sangeet in Raag. Those who play harmonium we should not even give them anything because giving money promotes this non gurmat instrument. Instead we should pay to open academies which can teach the raagis to play the correct instruments and use correct raags. Otherwsie, by paying harmonium players, we are only shooting ourselves in the foot. If you watch one of Bhai Jagraj Singh's videos, he mentions that gurdwaras get cheap sewadaars that can do everything, and are just taught basic harmonium playing, I guess having a proper raagi would hurt the business aspect of running a gurdwara!!! ( I think it was one of the WhyGuru course videos about keertan)

On days you cannot read paat, why not get some headphones and listen to paat instead? That will not disturb your roommate. I have different playlists setup for myself on Youtube and Music players depending on which shift I am going to at work, or for other circumstances. If you have time, this will give you an opportunity to listen nitnem in proper raag, Baru Sahib Anahad Bani Jatha currently have some nitnem banis sung in raag tanti saaj gurmat sangeet on Youtube.

Tell your husband controlling krodh is also part of gurmat, maybe do some gurbani khoj?

which channels do Hajoor Sahib telecast these days? Please let me know, I am going to try and get it on Kodi.

I just listen to whatever is playing on the radio. Usually BBC Asian Network, might not be paying attention. I am trying to get into listening to Raag music, especially Raag Keertan. IT's never playing in the gurdwara so have to listen to it at home or in the car. Also found some Rabab music on Youtube yesterday, it actually sounds similar to 80s and 90s bhangra music!