HardKaur

My problem is SELF CONTROL. Lately, for some unknown reason... I have been lacking my self control and my perseverance that I once strongly had in my character. I was someone who had her head in the books, concentrated on the goal and achieved it. Lately, I have been doing stupidness totally out of character. I feel really ashamed. The only thing i can think of is turning 19, being in university away from home, stress from university, and changing friends has caused my character to go out of balance. I am still that middle person who friends always go to for help, and almost everyone around me comes to me when the issue rises. I have been known to be a little too friendly and willing to help and sometimes called naive. However, I feel that sometimes i do stuff for the fact of trying to fit in, but really what I am trying to do is so confusing. I am into Sikhi, but I’m not a gursikh. I love reading sikhi, doing paat, understanding sikhi, I am a leader in two youth groups in two different communities. Yet i still fall under the trap of falling under the 5 vices. I do a lot of bad things that i know at the time i shouldn't do and act on impulse. I love dancing.... and i used to be so against going to clubs, i would dance in a group. But now i find myself not dancing in a group as i did back home and instead going to these clubs. I started drinking this year... which honestly i never thought i would ever do. I grinded with someone while i was drunk which i honestly never thought i would EVER EVER do (it was one person, and never again… I hope). NOW, I’m sitting here thinking what is wrong with me....My grades have been falling, i hardly study (even though I’m still the biggest nerd at heart), i hardly work out (although i make myself sometimes), i still do paat (but not as often as i would like b/c of work). I want to go back to my old self. The girl who had goals, good intentions and doesn't act on impulse. I want to make that change, and at the very least stay that way and go towards sikhi. It seems every time i put my foot down. Somehow by peer pressure, by past experiences that are like quick relievers, or even just for being “cool”, i would do stupidness. I know certain people who know me on this site and know i have changed. I know it’s hurting them that i have, but it hurts me even more that i have lost my own faith. The fact that my friends who I thought were my friends are talking about me behind my back and can’t even say to my face what I am doing is WRONG, hurts me too. Can someone help me in controlling these issues. I made a promise to myself, but i always tend to do something stupid, and break that promise. I haven’t given up and I am NOT depressed… I am someone who you will never see be mad, angry or upset. I am very to my self, overly friendly, always willing to help and I have a serious laughing problem. But I just want to use more self-control. I know this isn’t really a sikhi related issue, but I know I’m not the only one out there. --------thanks--------

OIiiiiiiiiiii stop dissing OTTAWA SENS and OTTAWA peeps.... its a wicked community which, yes, its small but it has amazing individuals that are committed to help our super Ottawa sikh youth community.. we have weekly sports and a website ottawasikhyouth.ca.... so don't diss! our water is SO MUCH BETTER than T DOT... much safer and yes its COLD but yooo we CAN HANDLE ITTTTTTTTTTT unlike some folk! So drop by the NC (Nation's Capital) and give us some support! Oct. 2nd be there! --hardkaur-- ps SENS RULE

just curious but what about kirtan with different instramentals... take away the tabla, the harmonium and whatever else.. this time add a scratch, some bass... is that wrong?! You are still singing hyms just diff background music... also u hear of immortal productions.. i love their cds!

when i want to drive at night.... "its not that we don't trust you... we don't trust the people all around you.." "Im your mother, ive cleaned your bumbs!" "I was a teenager once too, ive done mistakes, you learn from the ones ive done, so don't do them..." then i ask what mistakes have you done.."That is none of your business do your work!" "STOP TALKING TO YOUR FRIENDS" When im typing on the computer doing an essay or an assignment lol

crazy stories! u princesses made me teary eyed!!! i really find them inspiring and very insightful! Its great that we have amazing role models! Keep sharing your stories :doh: fateh

SSA! ok well im doing a interfaith thing with our community about how people of faith care for the earth.. i am doing the poster for sikhs.. and i think it would be cool to base the poster on a line of something about protecting, not harming our earth... i need some help though! can you please help me out.. also any ideas on the poster will be greatly appreciated! fateh --one--

hey! i had this problem when i was in tae kwon do.. i used the sweat band... it makes sense i mean when we were sparring sometimes you did end up hurting someone so just for protection.. and also if u explain to them usually they won't be so harsh !! one

Don't worry it will eventually catch up to u.... hormones are crazy and they are prob going to be crazy until u reach 20 or so! lol my mother says that guys never mature until they have kids.... lol but everything in good time... and yes girls are going to be a distraction... u just have to learn to overcome those obstacles... lol man hormones... mine are goin crazy too right now... pimples and all that! ewwwwww but yeah what u going to do... its just natural process that we as humans have to overcome! and omg it messes with ur brain too! but u just have to stay on the right side and you'll be fine! fateh one!

check out.. OTTAWASIKHYOUTH.CA

GOT TO BE MY BMW M5..... (my future car) yup yup yup... and gotta be manual carz guy otherwise whats teh point driving an auto... no fun in that! --one

ok same sex marriage is wrong... but is homosexuality?! i mean they can't help it if they are gay... how can they STOP them from being that way.... ?!

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy well i love dancing! its soo much fun! its a good work out too! i dont' see how its bad! unless its dirty which i don't do! well its also ao good stress reliever and its just good funnnnnnnnnnnnn! nice way of expressing onesslef! and the competition is crazyyyyyyyyy --one

hey! well i am happy i came across this disscussion really opend my eyes too see that some singhs understand! i always thought the kacharaa was kinda sexist! but now i can see it isn't really! ----one

look in the ingredientssssss i love homemade jam! but usually its just sugar and fruit.... and a perservative.... jelly tho... i think its bascially the same thing... i don't think there is gelatin in it!!! (thats the stuff in skittles, strawbursts, jello... which is bone marrow!) --hardkaur

ssa! if you don't know what OUIJA is its basically a board with yes/ no/ goodbye and the alphabet... basically u ask it questions... it meaning a 'spirit' and you ask it questions and it answers.... by saying yes/ no or spelling... well is it against sikhi to use these things? has anyone actually played it? i don't believe in ghosts and stuff but i have played it and its sooooooo freaky i don't know how to explain it but it MOVES and it works.... --lil princess

lol these are great stories! im known as the "baby stealer" to my cousins b/c kids just naturally love me for some odd reason! but its ok b/c i love kids and get a long with them very well!!! well this week i just finished volunteering at a camp at the gurudwara.... it was arts and crafts time and im always in charge of the group ages 4-8.... and u know those kids are CRAZY and imagine now 30 of them in a room... and only a lil princess there to show them... yup well i had help with another volunteer.... anyway some kid put the blue marker in her mouth...i hear a scream from a lil girl.. and i go whats wrong and shes like SHES EATING THE MARKER AND ITS POISOn.. i turn to the girl and she smiles.... her mouth all blue and tongue too! im like OMG... i take her hand and walk to the bathroom..... tell her to drink some water and spit it out in the sink... she did it.. u would not understand how much blue was commming out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well anyway i will never forget this girl b/c after that day she never stopped following me... she was like my shadow! so scary! lol well i have tons of stories but that was the best this weeek! :wub: keep on smiling

oiiiii AMAR ur avtar is amazin... but mine is better (j/k) haven't talked to u in a while! keep on smiling

I REALLY WANT TO SEE THAT MOVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe CHINESE AND INDIAN guy... i think thats amazing! b/c one of my best friends is chinese! :wub: and both of us agree U NEVER see that in the movies!

lol these are all funny im glad i got a good response for my post :D yeah whats also weird EVERYONE thinks i was born from another country...... they were like where were u born.. im like i was born here in Canada... they are like REALLY... im like yeah.... im Canadian.... i volunteer at the hospital and always get from the old people where im from... and i tell them i grew up here in this CITY and was BORN here... they are like "oh" and one old lady wouldn't get it! IM LIKE MY PARENTS ARE IMMIGRANTS like back 20 years ago! but im NOT!!!!!!!! they are like ohh.... so do you like Canada then... must be different from where u from.. im like no i was BORN in CANADA! its like they can't get it through their heads! I guess i shouldn't blame them....... they are old and they are in the hospital! lol its fun meeting people.... my teacher once had a poster that said, "there is no such thing as a dumb question"... so true! i rather have them asking me stupid questions then staring at me and treating me as gum on a side walk! keep on smiling :wub:

lol i love the response!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well i mostly get questions for my long hair as well, " HOW DO YOU WASH YOUR HAIR?" and im like how do you THINK i wash my hair.... with shampoo and lots of conditioner and of course WATER Then i get....U REALLY NEVER CUT UR HAIR?.. im like YES... DO YOU REALLY NOT CUT YOUR HAIR?... and im like YES.... YOUR HAIR HAS NEVER BEEN CUT SINCE U WERE BORN?... and im like yes... YOUR HAIR IS LONG.. and im like b/c i never cut it.... then they touch your hair.... and then u move your head back and give them a look... they smile and say WOW... and then the conversation iether ends or someone changes the topic... or sometimes they still talk about your hair...again... another question..."WHAT ARE YOU" and im like HUMAN... they are like nonononno i mean religion? im like ohhh SIKH... and they are like "seeK"... whats that some hindi thing.. and im like no, hindhi is a language, sikh is a religion.. then they are like ohh you mean punjabi.. then im like NOO PUNJABI is a LANGUAGE then they are like but so hindu is a language then im like nooo thats another religion... and this goes on with the mixing of punjabi, hindu, sikh and hindi... my friend whos philpino STILL Gets freakin messed up even tho one day i sat with her and TOLD her in writing... shes very slow i guesss BUT OMG its really frustrating! she even went up to the only other sikh girl in our school and asked her about it! SHE STILL CAN'T GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! keep on smiling :wub:

:wub: ) hey hey hey! well i am curious and i am wondering what kind of questions about sikhi have you have been questioned about? i am talking about the weirdest most unusual questions and how exactly did you reply to it? Or do you have a weird question about sikhi? kind of funny that im questioning you for a question... i hope there is no question about it and you will just answer my question! lol --one and keep on smiling :D

its sad and its been happening for a long time! i think when a lot of "punjabis" live together, a lot of things happen!!!!!! and their is a lose of identity or something which is VERY sad! Most sikhs are good part of their community... some are just lost especially the teeny boppers and the teensssssss... this is when a good sikh youth group or peers can help! but i guess it all traces back to parent hood! or maybe its just surroundings that turns some peole into violence! its just crazy its that bad in BC! i read Macleans articles on "punjabi boys" in vancouver! it was very interesting! anyway there is alwayz some sort of wish to belong somewhere... so the youth want gangs... this is when really sikhi should be there to help guide them or at least apply a foundation to where to go next to belong somewhere....

hey everyone thanx for the input! i made my decision... ITS WESTERN !!! so all of u western students beware there is a new princess in ur campus sept 2004... and if u want u can pm me.. i need friends!! im goin to miss home so much!!!! but western will be a good experiance! thanks again and keep on smiling :wub:

hey people!!! i need help... WHAT DO U THINK IS THE BEST UNI in CANADA??!! :hmmm For the people who have done uni or are in it...what do u like about it? what uni is it? what is ur advice on how a lil princess should choose a uni? this is a very important topic and important decision im sure for many people... im wondering WHAT advice you have... anyone?! keep on smiling :wub: one P.s. i applied to bio chem/ bio med and planning on doing med school... so out of that what is the best uni? ahhhh so hard!

the smell of mcdonalds makes me sickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk and i got sick there too when i was little! very horrible experiance!!!!!!!! fast food is only good if its the only thing there in miles away, if your starving and really can't eat anything else go eat ur subjee! keep on smiling :wub: