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  1. Pre context: I'm Amridhari and was looking for an Amridhari partner who has a Gursikh Amridhari family. I've been raised in sangat, samgams, and Sikhi camps my whole life and I'm deeply rooted in Sikhi. Sikhi is my life and the values taught by our Gurus are of the highest value to me. I love Guru Ji and I feel as if I failed Guru Ji. I have failed as a Sikh and I feel I've lost my purity, the purity I had kept intact till now from the day I took Amrit.. I had made a rule that the person I marry will be my past, present, and future. However, when I hit my twenties I realized that to get married you have to speak to many different people. And speaking is fine but the problem is I get attached too quickly. I had kept my guard high and strong for a while but it isn't easy when you're also a hopeful romantic. I want to get married by my mid-twenties and thus I began looking. I found someone online and we connected pretty well however that person(I'll be addressing them as R) was in another country. I insisted that we stop talking but R said let's continue to talk and see where things go before cutting it off so early. I had discussed with R the issues about why we wouldn't work out and did not want to get too attached but R insisted we keep talking and so we did. We talked for 3 months and within those months we had some intimate talks too which I felt bad about. At this point, I felt like I was in love with this person and was ready to move for them but at the same time, I was doubtful of their love. When I suggested that we take this to the parents to make it official, R backed out and left. R wanted me to come over for a few days and do intimate things before marriage which I said no to and I felt terrible that I allowed R to speak to me in intimate ways and also engaged in it myself. I thought it was R's way of expressing love but I was wrong. After this, I completely shut myself off and didn't want to look for anyone else. I was healing and asked Guru Ji for forgiveness. I was doing okay and then again I met another person online (going to address them as Y). Y had approached me through a Sikh dating app and we connected. I didn't initially think of Y as someone I would want to marry and whenever we talked I thought that Y was boring. However, Y always looked for a way to talk to me. We connected in Jan 2023 but properly started talking in August 2023. I don't know what happened but we started talking and things were flowing smoothly and I started liking Y. We exchanged social media and our numbers and we were talking every day. We also discussed any issues that would come up if we were to get married and I told Y that with the looks of it it's better to stop talking but Y insisted that we keep talking and see where things go. I got attached but told Y that we had to break it off because his family wasn't Amridhari and I didn't want to move to where Y was living. Y was upset and I can't bear it when people are upset with me so I started talking to Y again. I broke it off and patched it with Y three times because we both like each other very much but our families and lifestyles aren't compatible. I grew up within sangat and Sikhi all my life but Y has grown up going to the gurdwara every Sunday for a while, going to parties, and weddings where there is meat and alcohol. He is Amridhari but his family is the full opposite. Y's sisters don't believe in keeping Kesh and I don't want my kids to grow up in that environment. I spoke to Y about all these concerns and we both concluded that it's best that we break it off but we couldn't. We kept coming to each other and decided to give it time and sort things out. Within this period we got attached deeply mentally, emotionally, and physically. Our relationship is completely online but we have exchanged intimate moments through video calls, texts, voice notes, and photos. We both love each other but know that we don't belong together and somewhere in my heart I know that Y isn't the right person for me in the long term. But now that I've shared all of myself with Y I feel so wrong even thinking about marrying anyone else. I've had moments and conversations with Y that should only be between a husband and wife and now I feel I've fallen as Sikh of the Guru. I have indulged in lustful acts (which I won't lie came from a point of love), but now that I know I can't be with Y, it's eating me up alive. What do I do? My family and friends don't approve of Y either and they want me to find someone else and I know that they are right. I feel impure and Y has a part of me that I can never get back. I love Y and though it's been only 4 months I feel as if I won't be able to love someone else. I wish I could restart and stop myself from doing all the wrong things but now I don't know what to do... Please advice
  2. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji ki Fateh Note: I will not answer any replies. So this issue really killed my nerves.I ts about the Singh AND Kaur, worldwide,but mostly from India, which date/try to make relationships through chatting on Instagram. About two or three years ago, I was using Instagram (Kaal) like many people do. I OFTEN got text messages of "AMRITDHAARI" (looking?) Singh's, which tried to build a relationship with me. I sometimes replied to some. After doing some normal chit chat, They said things like I love you, stay with me etc ...There were times where I got into it. Because I hadn't the Sojhi, and Sumat, which satguru Ji gave me now. But after a time I noticed that this all is SO SO WRONG. And that I am very sure that many of us Sikh people too use Instagram to "date secretly", share specific feelings, which promote kaam. And there are TOO MANY videos of KAURS who show their prettiness.. like why do you need to show off?? What of use is this?? Some videos can promote awake kaam in other people. This all is SO dangerous. and this is not all. NOT EVEN IN THE GURDWARA I, as a Kaur, can feel comfortable. There's a GRANTHI SINGH in our Gurdwara, which watches me. And I don't feel comfortable when he's around. I fully believe that every mature women, knows and notices when a man has wrong intensions. And this Issue is so ******* devastating, WE JUST DONT DESERVE to be called Sikhs. So I deactivated, deleted Instagram about one year ago and I am at peace. I'm VERY GLAD that Satguru Ji has put me out of this. And I DEFINITELY RECOMMEND NOT TO USE INSTAGRAM even if there are Sikh pages, Sikh Organisation accounts etc . Because its hard not to get into other things which also are on Instagram there, like there is also other content, which can come to your feed, on reels etc. Satguru Ji has gifted me Satsangat and Simran Abhyaas, so I do have peace in my life. I just wanted to share this issue, to open eyes, and to tell also other Kaur's that this world is getting worse and worse, do Simran Abhyaas and don't use social media (if you can't then try to not use it that much) I'm not from England so imust have many typo mistakes but you guys must have understood what I want to say., Bhul chuck maafi. Vaheguru Ji ka Khalsa WaheguruJi ki Fateh
  3. Hi am Ranveer coming to UK next month for studies i have listen from my friends that sikh girls in UK dont like punjabi boys with turban is that true ?? i have also attached my pic
  4. Jassu


    Would you ever date a non religious person? I am not speaking about an atheist, but more so someone who is not very religious. Let’s say they let you stay close to your religion & culture and are ok with passing down your culture/values to future children. Do you think that’s ok? I think I’ve met the perfect person however he’s not very religious. He belongs to a different culture however our cultures are similar and compatible. All of my values line up and they are extremely respectful.
  5. Hi am in current about to move canada i have question that many boys told me that u should cut ur hair because girls in canada don't like turban boiz plz reply if any punjabi boy or girl know the answer i have added my photos also
  6. Guest


    Hi, I am a 27-year-old guy from Delhi. I am Hindu by birth. I have been following and practising Sikhism since long. I love going to Kirtan Samagams and very much into AKJ Kirtans. I love baani. I have this wish to marry a Sikh girl someday so that we can go to Kirtan Smagams together, practise Sewa and Simran and so on. I don't think that will be possible if I marry someone who does not know what baani is. Is this fine? Can I marry a Sikh girl being a Hindu?
  7. Guest

    Somebody help me with this

    So I’m going out on a date with this white girl i met through mutual friends and have only met each other once. She gave me her number and we decided to meet up. She’s only seen me once, and not at my best (I was at work). She’s pretty decent from what I can tell. However, I heard from one of my mutual friends that she has eitraaz over my beard as I’m a kesadhari khuli dhari wala sikh. She hasn’t seen me in a pagg, she saw in my patka under my hardhat. How do I approach this situation, cutting/trimming is off the table, not happening. So do I call the whole thing off? Or do I give it a shot and just go even though she could be put off by it and then it would be a complete waste of time for me. ? Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you waheguru ji ka Khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh!?
  8. This is an update on my post on 19th sept. A lil bit background about us, I’m 21 year old kesadhari sikh male and she’s 20 years old atheist white female, we met through mutual friends. Turns out she didn’t have any objections with me having an unshorn beard. She was very respectful and understanding. that being said, I made a dumb mistake. We’ve been seeing each other everyday now and have come really close and she was inquiring about my religion and stuff, so I told her about our gurus and some stuff briefly like what do we believe in what are our values. She liked what she heard. Anyway we had a long talk and I gave her a spare kara that I had ? She took it, she’s been wearing it, and also she lives with her mum whom she told that I gave her that “arm ring” whos now really curious and wants to meet me. (kuri lives with a single mother). how do I get out of this mess that I made? I shouldn’t have given her that, I don’t know what I was thinking. She doesn’t drink or smoke, she does eat meat tho. Im going to meet her mother, and I don’t want her mother to think that I got some shady intentions (like I wanna convert her or something) any suggestions how I get out of this pickle ??? waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh. ?
  9. Guest

    Pressures of Marriage

    VJKK, VJKF! With Waheguru Ji's kirpa I have been blessed with Amrit recently. I am getting used to the change in my life so far and it's been a great journey, however, I am starting to feel the pressures of marriage. I just turned 25 years old and my family is saying I should start looking now before it's too late, but whenever someone from Sangat introduces me to another Singh, the topic of kes comes up. They want me to break my rehat and shave before marriage. This is something I am not willing to do and never will do, but the pressures of marriage and finding the right life partner is becoming hard. My whole family is not devoted to Sikhi, just a few of us, so it's even more difficult. Another challenge is education. Everyone wants me to find someone with a degree, job and living at home in Canada. Any advice anyone can give would be great.
  10. Guest

    Finding a Singh for Marriage

    VJKK, VJKF! With Waheguru Ji's kirpa I have been blessed with Amrit recently. I am getting used to the change in my life so far and it's been a great journey, however, I am starting to feel the pressures of marriage. I just turned 25 years old and my family is saying I should start looking now before it's too late, but whenever someone from Sangat introduces me to another Singh, the topic of kes comes up. They want me to break my rehat and shave before marriage. This is something I am not willing to do and never will do, but the pressures of marriage and finding the right life partner is becoming hard. My whole family is not devoted to Sikhi, just a few of us, so it's even more difficult. Another challenge is education. Everyone wants me to find someone with a degree, job and living at home in Canada. Any advice anyone can give would be great.
  11. Guest

    Sikhi and dating

    I'm confused about something. I hear in sikhi you can't date but then how are you possibly supposed to get married to someone? Can someone please give the maryada for this? The dating maryada and how you would do it the Gurmat way? Thanks
  12. Guest

    Toronto GTA and mature folk

    WJKK WJKF, Sangat ji, I’m seeking guidance regarding marital planning. Sangat ji, please don’t mind this, but I’m a sehajdhari (cut hair) asking for advice. With all due respect, ‘No dating’ doesn’t apply to me. I’m from gta/Toronto, in my late 20s. I didn’t have brown neighbours/classmates growing up. Fast forward to today, I still live where I never see Punjabis. I just need to know how I should go about meeting a man. How do people like me, in the late 20s, find a suitable Punjabi match these days? I even went through matrimonial sections of newspapers my mom got for me. (All the men look for “a traditional, family-oriented woman”, & the men never describe themselves as family-oriented, but that’s a topic for another day.) I broke off an engagement because my partner became agnostic. Although I’m just a sehajdhari moni (cut hair) & seldom drink, I’m still spiritual and I wish God pairs me up with a man who will value what I value, like being vegetarian, being humble, being outdoors, and doing seva at the Gurdwara.. But these points (except vegetarian part) aren’t listed in the mens’ matrimonial entries. My mom suggested I do sevaa at the Gurdwara to pick out a respectable man there, but that shouldn’t be my focus at the Gurdwara. I guess my question is.. How should I go about meeting Punjabi sikhs/sehajdhari with marriage as the goal? I’d rather not read anymore sexist matrimonial entries lol. I’m open to everyone’s respectable suggestions. My fellow Toronto folk, let me know. * [Sehajdhari -meaning I accept Sikhi as my dharam but just don’t have kes (kept hair).] Thanks for your patience. WJJK WJKF
  13. Guest


    Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh im in 7th grade and a a couple of days ago I this new amritdhari girl came in my class and I got a crush on her. I don't want to have a girlfriend right now but my mind won't let go of her. What should I do?? (Pls keep my identity gupt)
  14. Just trying to raise awareness about our service within the Sikh community. Turban Rishta is a bespoke matchmaking service for UK Sikh turban professionals. We have over 30 years of experience of doing this locally and have launched our website. We have personal reasons for why we wish to do this for free and would like to reach out to as many people as possible. Please visit/share and sign up to attend our events - www.turbanrishta.com
  15. As the title states, do you guys think it's okay or is it wrong? Thanks, confused about this issue
  16. I was having a conversation with two Sikh guys of different caste backgrounds and they both told me they avoid jatti girls now because they are such a disgrace to Sikhi. They both said these days jattis and jatts are only interested in being in their own hindu brahmin given caste than listen to their Guru's and marry someone who is a Sikh regardless of caste. One was telling me how he was getting to know this girl who calls herself a proud Sikh girl on a dating site but has slept around with white guys and see's it as not a problem to be with non-sikh guys but her parents would flat out refuse her marrying any non-jatt Sikh guy so while she is sleeping around with non-sikh guys when it comes to marriage they will allow her to marry a white or jatt guy only. The other guy told me that he was getting to know this Sikh girl who seemed to tick all the boxes he is looking for in a girl until she asked for his surname, he said singh but then she said no whats your real surname. Being a Sikh he said singh again then she brought out her true intentions and openly asked what caste he was. He just said he is a Sikh and he doesnt believe in castes. And Sikhi is against castes so are you a castist or a Sikh? She said she is a sikh but for her parents sake she has to marry the same caste. He then told her good luck and blocked her from his contacts. Now brothers and sisters, if this is the state we are in where these girls mainly from the jatt articial brahmin hindu caste system only want to marry within their own caste against Sikhi and yet sleeping around with white, black and muslim guys then there is a serious issue in our kaum that needs addressing. Jatts are not alone in this, some of the tharkhan/ramgharia's girls are also holding out on the same ancient backward hindu caste belief system. Brahmin Hindu pandit's must be laughing their heads of at the state of our supposedly anti-caste religion. Once the brahmin priestly class could only dream of making Sikhs of the Guru's believe in discriminatory caste system but now they have managed to influence and pump up the various castes against each other to stick with their brahmin given castes their job is half done to Hinduise and keep Sikhs disunited. This is how inter-faith anti Sikh antics start when pendu punjabi castist parents tell their daughters you can marry anyone as long as its a gora or same caste.... these girls need get it into their heads that being with a fellow sikh regardless of their race or caste is the correct way of thinking.
  17. Hello, I am interested in dating as I have no dated in a long time. My parents kind of want me to get arranged marriage but i choose not too for personal reasons. I was wondering if there are any dating sites where i can meet other South Asians mainly those who speak punjabi. I do live in Canada (from British Columbia). Thank you.
  18. There is a girl that i believe i truly love. I have tried not to love her, for the sake of not becoming attached, but i cannot stop my love for her. She is a christian girl and she is the perfect one for me. But i have taken a hukamnama and Guru sahib says: Sorat'h, Third Mehla: Serving the True Guru, the divine melody wells up within, and one is blessed with wisdom and salvation. The True Name of the Lord comes to abide in the mind, and through the Name, one merges in the Name. ||1|| Without the True Guru, the whole world is insane. The blind, self-willed manmukhs do not realize the Word of the Shabad; they are deluded by false doubts. ||Pause|| The three-faced Maya had led them astray in doubt, and they are snared by the noose of egotism. Birth and death hang over their heads, and being reborn from the womb, they suffer in pain. ||2|| The three qualities permeate the whole world; acting in ego, it loses its honor. But one who becomes Gurmukh comes to realize the fourth state of celestial bliss; he finds peace through the Name of the Lord. ||3|| The three qualities are all Yours, O Lord; You Yourself created them. Whatever You do, comes to pass. O Nanak, through the Lord's Name, one is emancipated; through the Shabad, he is rid of egotism. ||4||12|| I do not know what to do but please help me friends!!
  19. Guest

    Sikhs And Dating?

    Can anyone tell me exactly why Sikhs can't date other Sikhs? (If you are from the same religion it shouldn't be a problem). Also if we keep our Rehats during the relationship, wouldn't it help find a suitable partner in the future. Keeping the basic rules of no Adultery and kissing and all that junk. Also I'd like either Rehat Maryada or Gurbani views on this, if it even mentions it.
  20. Guest

    Cannot Find A Suitable Match

    Living in the Midlands, UK, aged 40+ and single so the pool of available single sikh people is so small that it feels impossible. I do not go out much and I'm either at work or at home so this a typical life of a 40+ adult. Relatives do not introduce suitable matches, no one wants to get involved these days. Gurdwara's have their own little lists where they charge £50 to £75 to register anyone searching for a partner and anyone that does not pay, WILL NOT receive any help, so I am sad to say but they are making money out of peoples unfortunate circumstances. I paid many Gurdwara's so once a year I will get a list of people where only one or two will be in my age group, no photo so I would have to ask the Gurdwara for the number. Honest answer is I have not found the other person to be attractive so I can't ruin my life and the other persons life. Attraction is a uncontrolled natural feeling, you either feel it or you don't. Years have gone by in following this process. The system simply doesn't work. Should I look outside of the Sikh community even though I was born into a Sikh family or should I remain single for the rest of my life? Responsible adults please answer as this is not just my story but its a story of many today. I'm a logical person and feel if this situation remains then the day will come when there will be hardly any Sikhs to visit the Gurdwara's. So feeding the already full person is not going help the community. Provide help where it is needed.
  21. Guest

    Dating In Sikhi

    Wjkk, wjkf I am a Amritdhari Gursikh girl in middle school. One of my closest Amritdhari friends recently told me that she had an Amritdhari boyfriend. I have always heard that dating is wrong in Sikhi. but since the boy was Amritdhari i didn't know if it was allowed or not. Can someone please enlighten me on this issue? Also, my friend told me that, when i asked her if she was allowed to date, that other Amritdharis in school do it too and with girls/boys of other races and religions. Can someone Please clear this dating thing up with me and tell me what is right and wrong? Wjkk, wjkf
  22. To Sardar boys who complain about women (specifically California Sardar): Why do you guys have to restrict yourself to Punjabi women? Why don't you think of dating White/Latina/Asian women or women from other parts of the world? I am not saying all Punjabi women are bad but there are plenty of single and attractive women in other parts of the world. I am sure many of the more educated ones will be interested and many will actually think you are cool for wearing a turban and standing out. A lot will be up for learning about your religion. I am not making this up as this has been my experience and FYI I am a sardar and my wife is from Eastern Europe.
  23. There are quite a few threads on this forum about the troubles of dating with a turban and beard. Most of these discussions deteriorate into guys taking their frustrations out by bashing Punjabi girls for not wanting to be with keshdari males. I came across a post on reddit that tackles this issue from a slightly different angle. I will post the relevant bit: "Hey guys and gals, I'm a Sikh guy, wear a turban and have a fully grown beard. I live in Canada and am 20 years old. I have quite a few friends who are also turban-wearing Sikhs, and the one thing I am accustomed to hearing on an almost daily basis is "girls won't go out with me because I am a keshdari". That is all I ever hear, not only from my own friends, but on every Sikh forum online, there are hoards of Sikh guys who complain about not being able to get a girlfriend because they wear a turban and sport a beard. This is for any guy on reddit who complains about this issue, and for anyone who knows a guy like that in real life, I say, you need to slap some sense into him by showing him this post. The turban and the beard are not the reason you can't get girls. It is your lowly perception of yourself. You have no self confidence, you freak out every time you talk to a female because you are worried she doesn't like your turban/beard and you are a social klutz. Most keshdari males in the west spend their time hanging out with other keshdari guys, or other Indian men in general. You have very little experience socializing with members of other races, and especially with members of the opposite sex. That is the problem. You got no game. How do you fix it? Become social, talk to people you normally wouldn't talk to, develop your social skills, and watch your life change for the better. Secondly, most turban + beard guys I know are not physically attractive. No, it is NOT the beard and turban that are responsible for it. Most of you don't work out, and quite a few (maybe even majority) have really let yourselves go, and have developed huge guts. Get your behind into the gym, lose weight if you're fat, build muscle if you're skinny. If I was a girl, I wouldn't want to date most of you either, because you don't take care of yourselves. Sikhi says to treat your body like your temple, how on earth have you allowed your temple to become so desecrated? Stop eating allu de parathai, samosai, gulab jaman, eat good, wholesome, nutritious food, get in the gym, lift, your testosterone will increase, your confidence will increase, and so will your success with the ladies. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, STOP LIMITING YOURSELF TO PUNJABI GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!! For Pete's sake, most guys I know who complain about this are the ones who ONLY go for Punjabi kudis. The world is your oyster my friend, there's wonderful girls out there who will accept you for who you are and are not Indian-descent. In fact, from my own experiences and what I have heard from friends, non-Punjabi girls actually respect the turban and beard more than Punjabi girls do. If you are proud to be keshdari, then they will respect you for it. When I ask most guys why they are wearing a turban, they'll tell me "because my parents made me". When pressed further about why their parents made them, they say "because it is a part of the religion". But they don't know WHY Sikhs wear turbans. That is the problem. FFS man, learn your own history! It is legendary what our ancestors went through to protect our dharam. It is teeming with stories of epic battles, sacrifice and determination. No other religion has ever had to face even half the crap we did to survive and preserve our beliefs. It was keshdari Sikhs who destroyed Mughal rule in Punjab, 21 keshdari Sikhs who held off an army of 10,000 Afghans for over 7 hours until reinforcements arrived. Confidence comes from being sure of who you are. Understand why you wear a turban, and the thousands of brave men and women who wore it before you, and you won't give a damn about what any woman thinks. If some immature Punjabi girl has no respect for your turban, that's her loss. A lot of them have forgotten that when Punjabi women were getting kidnapped left, right and center by Persian forces, and being taken to Iran to be sold in the sex-trade industries, it was turbaned Sikh men who went after them, fought enemies umpteenth times larger than themselves, won, and brought the women back safe and sound to their families. Any girl that rejects you solely for your turban isn't worth the time, even if she's Punjabi. Most of them are going to be fat aunties in 20 years time anyways, then they'll be paying guys to give them the time of day. My girlfriend is white, my brother is married to a Chinese lady, who is absolutely wonderful, and has complete respect for Sikhi and the turban. If you respect your turban, others will too. I've got a handful of friends (all keshdari) dating white girls and Asian (Chinese mostly) girls. I've got family in the USA, a few of my cousins are with Latinas. All are socially confident, all work out, none limited themselves to just Punjabi girls. That's my rant. I'm tired of keshdari guys complaining about how girls don't give you the time of day, it makes us all look like insecure, needy, weak boys who do not deserve any woman in the first place. Cutting your hair isn't going to make you a success with the ladies if you are out of shape and socially demented. On the other hand, I have known the most athletic, outgoing keshdari brothers get rejected time and time again by girls just because they had the turban. And each time, the girl was Punjabi. Face it dude, there are girls out there who are not attracted to the look, and there's nothing you can do about it. But there are a lot more girls out there than you think who don't give a damn about how big your facial hair is or what you have on your head, and a lot, if not the majority of these girls, are not Punjabi. STOP LIMITING YOURSELF! I leave you with one last question: If Dwayne The Rock Johnson converted to Sikhi today, grew out his beard and stuck on a turban, would he have any less success with the ladies? I rest my case." Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/Sikh/comments/1ggy25/dating_with_turban_and_beard/ Most respondents agreed with what he said, the support was almost unanimous. My thoughts? I think he hit the nail on the head. I disagree with the bit about Punjabi girls all turning into fat aunties, I think that was uncalled for, but other than that, he makes very valid points (imo). Keshdaris stick with other keshdaris and/or Indian men, so have little experience interacting with people of other races, and because of Punjabi culture, are discouraged from talking to women. I've been to quite a few Gurdwaras in my time, the one thing I noticed over and over again was a lack of aesthetics amongst the more religious members of our community, doesn't matter if they were young or old. Now, this isn't always, the case, I workout, most of my friends (keshdari) workout, a lot of guys posting in the comments section of that post said they do as well, and I'm sure a lot of guys on here do too. But what I have noticed is that, while we are supposed to be saint-soldiers, most of us focus too much on the "saint" aspect and not enough on the "soldier" portion. I also agree with what he said about Punjabi (NOT SIKH) girls, the average Punjabi girl these days doesn't really care much for Sikhi, so dating out of the race is probably a good idea. Thoughts? Yay or nay?
  24. Hello everyone, so let me explain what is going on. I am a keshdari Sikh guy in University. I work out, have friends from every race/religion, I consider myself to be a social and fit guy who also holds Guru Jis teachings very strongly in his heart and I absolutely love Sikhi. Now, I've always had a bunch of female friends, talking to girls has never been a problem for me. Throughout High School, and at the beginning of Uni, I always wanted to start a relationship with a Punjabi girl. Most were friendly with me, but wouldn't go out with me. The few that did always ended it after a few dates, because they wanted short haired guys. Of course it was disappointing, but I never once considered cutting my hair. If a girl didn't respect my hair, she wasn't worth my time, that was my train of thought. Looking back at it now, I can't believe I asked most of them out either, they may have been Punjabi, but they didn't have an ounce of Sikhi or Sikhi knowledge in their bodies, I wouldn't look twice at girls like that today. So despite my experiences, I still maintained hope that I would end up with a Punjabi SIKH girl one day, I didn't pay much attention to girls who were not Punjabi/from Sikh backgrounds (although now that I reflect, most of the non-Punjabi girls I knew were a lot nicer, and I could have dated a lot of them, plus they didn't mind the turban/beard). I live in an area with a very small ethnic population, so since Uni started, it has been harder for me to meet Punjabi girls. Last month, something unexpected happened to me. One of the white girls I have a class with, that I met at the beginning of the semester, asked me out. She is really smart, funny, we clicked the first day we met, plus she is extremely mature for her age, not the kind of girl who drinks or does drugs or goes clubbing and comes back at 3 am. Dare I say it, she acts more "Sikh" than almost all the Punjabi girls I've known throughout my life. Anyways, so she asked me to go see a movie with her, and I said yes. It was a lot of fun and we've been out twice since then, and are going out again this weekend. She's pretty much everything I ever wanted in a girl: mature, does well in school, good morals and actually likes me for my beard and turban. She's been asking me about Sikhi since the beginning of the semester, when we first met (before we started dating), and she has a TON of respect for it, seriously I see her eyes light up when I tell her about Guru Arjan Dev Ji and Guru Tegh Bahadur Jis Shaheedis, the epic story of Vaisakhi 1699, the bravery of Mai Bhago leading an army of men into battle against an enemy of thousands, the sacrifice of Bhai Mani Singh and everything else that is our awesome history. She has been begging me to take her to Gurdwara, and like I said I live in an area with a few Sikhs, but the Gurdwara will be celebrating Miri Piri so that is when I will take her. My question is, am I doing something wrong? I really couldn't ever see myself with a non-Punjabi girl, and this one isn't even from a Sikh background. I feel kind of hypocritical because one of my friends started dating a Muslim girl a few months ago, I was telling him he should stick to Sikh girls, so I feel a bit of guilt about this. On the flip side, she has wonderful morals and seems to really be interested in Sikhi. She has complete respect for the turban and beard and actually regards Guru Gobind Singh Ji as some sort of super hero lol. So do I keep dating her and see what happens? Or would it be best if we part ways now, since I don't know how my parents will react (I've kind been doing it in secret).
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