Abuse Towards Boys.

[Guest Shamed!]

I just wanted to provide a story for the male victims of molesters etc because I know it’s a problem for girls but I just wanted to make sure the sangat is aware that boys can also be targeted.

Well when I was younger about 4-7 I was constantly sexually felt up by my older cousins, I don’t keep in contact with them anymore and my family don’t either for other reasons. I never told my Parents because they used to tell me its normal behaviour and that it is rude to tell others and that I would be in trouble.

When I was about 8-10 and once more at 14 I got sexually abused by my Mama (Mum’s Bro), and he is an AmritDhari, once again I don’t keep in contact and my family rarely does either, I didn’t tell my Parents because I was scared that it would upset my Mum who was already very ill at the time and that it was probably my fault why it happened; As it had happened the second time, I used to think that maybe it is just me.

I then got constantly abused by another relative from 11 – 16 but I was brave enough to report him and he just recently finished his prison sentence, the conviction was against the wishes of his close family who hold me responsible and claim that my Mum did “black magic” on him that is why he acted the way he did. I was at first scared to reveal my abuse to people because my cousin sister was raped by a man who went on to become Amritdhari and people belived that it was her fault; it couldn’t have been his because of his current standing in the community. (He still is respected by others while my sis is looked down upon by sangat, she did report him but there was lack of evidence and he wasn’t convicted). Thankfully, with the support of my cousin sis I went to police and there was enough DNA evidence etc to convict my abuser.

After it came out about the abuse I had suffered I was shunned by the sangat for a long time, people gave me looks in Gurdwara and there was a lack of support from the sangat. I felt like they had condemmed me because I had received support from my tainted cousin sister who still doesn’t feel comfortable in a sikh community where she was not comforted but rather rejected.

The results of my abuse are that I have only recently started going Gurdwara again as the gossip about my abuse seems to have died down and people act indifferently to me. I lost my faith in Sikhi for a while, only recently have I started to learn about sikhi again; which upsets my cousin sis…I can understand why but I cant blame Sikhi for the actions of the sangat and the snakes that hide amoung them. I don’t like going certain Gurdwara in the fear I might see me Penji’s rapist or my previous molesters, I still aint strong enough to face them yet. I am extremely distrusting of all men, I have only 3 male friends and I don’t even trust my own brother.

Now Sangat Jee you can call me another phony or whatever but for those that believe me and the previous Penji. Abuse in Sikh community is a massive problem whether it be sexual or physical which I have also been the victim of from my farther. I know countless other Sikh kids that have gone through abuse in their homes and most of them are now not in Guru Ji’s Sangat. That’s why you guys probably don’t know about it as much but it is a problem.

My Benti is that maybe the sangat could be taught how to deal with victims of abuse, as I never received any support at all. Only recently have I seen that the Sangat is not so bad and there are people out there you can talk to. Maybe it is attitudes changing with time but the sangat has to be aware and reach out to kids. For example why aren’t there any Amritdhari foster parents out there to look after Sikh Children who go through this abuse?

I was put in Foster care for nearly a year and they helped me follow a path away from Sikhi, It’s now taking longer to get back.

I think I will stop there and leave the sangat to contemplate.

And also I do not wish people to know my identity/location. I have only recently started to get enough confidence to go out, thinking that nobody knows about my horrible past or have forgotten. I am trying to move on but also creating awareness.

Sorry If I offended. This has been difficult for me to write.

[Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz]

I just wanted to provide a story for the male victims of molesters etc because I know it’s a problem for girls but I just wanted to make sure the sangat is aware that boys can also be targeted.

Well when I was younger about 4-7 I was constantly sexually felt up by my older cousins, I don’t keep in contact with them anymore and my family don’t either for other reasons. I never told my Parents because they used to tell me its normal behaviour and that it is rude to tell others and that I would be in trouble.

When I was about 8-10 and once more at 14 I got sexually abused by my Mama (Mum’s Bro), and he is an AmritDhari, once again I don’t keep in contact and my family rarely does either, I didn’t tell my Parents because I was scared that it would upset my Mum who was already very ill at the time and that it was probably my fault why it happened; As it had happened the second time, I used to think that maybe it is just me.

I then got constantly abused by another relative from 11 – 16 but I was brave enough to report him and he just recently finished his prison sentence, the conviction was against the wishes of his close family who hold me responsible and claim that my Mum did “black magic” on him that is why he acted the way he did. I was at first scared to reveal my abuse to people because my cousin sister was raped by a man who went on to become Amritdhari and people belived that it was her fault; it couldn’t have been his because of his current standing in the community. (He still is respected by others while my sis is looked down upon by sangat, she did report him but there was lack of evidence and he wasn’t convicted). Thankfully, with the support of my cousin sis I went to police and there was enough DNA evidence etc to convict my abuser.

After it came out about the abuse I had suffered I was shunned by the sangat for a long time, people gave me looks in Gurdwara and there was a lack of support from the sangat. I felt like they had condemmed me because I had received support from my tainted cousin sister who still doesn’t feel comfortable in a sikh community where she was not comforted but rather rejected.

The results of my abuse are that I have only recently started going Gurdwara again as the gossip about my abuse seems to have died down and people act indifferently to me. I lost my faith in Sikhi for a while, only recently have I started to learn about sikhi again; which upsets my cousin sis…I can understand why but I cant blame Sikhi for the actions of the sangat and the snakes that hide amoung them. I don’t like going certain Gurdwara in the fear I might see me Penji’s rapist or my previous molesters, I still aint strong enough to face them yet. I am extremely distrusting of all men, I have only 3 male friends and I don’t even trust my own brother.

Now Sangat Jee you can call me another phony or whatever but for those that believe me and the previous Penji. Abuse in Sikh community is a massive problem whether it be sexual or physical which I have also been the victim of from my farther. I know countless other Sikh kids that have gone through abuse in their homes and most of them are now not in Guru Ji’s Sangat. That’s why you guys probably don’t know about it as much but it is a problem.

My Benti is that maybe the sangat could be taught how to deal with victims of abuse, as I never received any support at all. Only recently have I seen that the Sangat is not so bad and there are people out there you can talk to. Maybe it is attitudes changing with time but the sangat has to be aware and reach out to kids. For example why aren’t there any Amritdhari foster parents out there to look after Sikh Children who go through this abuse?

I was put in Foster care for nearly a year and they helped me follow a path away from Sikhi, It’s now taking longer to get back.

I think I will stop there and leave the sangat to contemplate.

And also I do not wish people to know my identity/location. I have only recently started to get enough confidence to go out, thinking that nobody knows about my horrible past or have forgotten. I am trying to move on but also creating awareness.

Sorry If I offended. This has been difficult for me to write.

bahji i admire ur strength and courage , this is what we all need to do, we need to report things like this.if ppl at the gurdwara have a problem with u, screw them, we're behind u 1000000000000000000000000000000000000%

always keep some sort of weapon on u, if u're not amritshak....

[Akhoza]

Thats sad, crazy family members

[Guest Papi]

kaljug

guru kirpa kare....