Sanjog, Marriage, Destiny, & Free Will

[Guest Life]

I just have afew questions that I would like your help and thoughts on, as I have been thinking alot about life lately and on this aspect.

I believe/think that in terms of marriage your sanjog is already. Your husband/wife is already chosen for you at birth (like the saying in wedding cards) and it is just a matter of Waheguru brining the two people together on this earth. Then I question and think of how come so many people are getting divorced even after they have been married 10/15 years or more/less. But then I think of someone couples, how they met the situation etc and think no sanjogs are written, its true.

First of all, if sanjog is written then how come in this day and age people are getting divorced so quickly and/or suddenly?

Say it is sanjog and you are destined to be with someone, can someone/another person come in between that and they marry they person you are meant to (I hope that makes sense?) So it is the free will of the third person (the one coming in between (if they can) )

What is free will? Does it exist? How does free will and destiny/fate work?

I hope I made sense!

[DustOfTheSaintsFeet]

We're living in the dream of God, everything happens as he wills it, good and bad. The breakup of a marriage shows that worldly relationships are false, gurbani says over and over again that husbands, wives and family are only with you for their selfish wants and needs. Only god, who oves us unconditionally is there for us in the end, whether we sin or not. He feed us our karma when we sin and we even learn lessons from that- this is how much he loves us.

His hukam(will) pervades the entire universe- nothing is beyond it. Even the worst karmas are deserved to the person who either accumalated them in this lifetime or in previous lifetimes. It's up to god and your deeds and karmas(from this life or ones before this) whether you're married life works out or not. The thing is that everything is really just false imagery, the true form of god is in the nothingness- Gurus and sants were able to willingly accept matyrdom(including jesus)becuase they were psychologically sound in all situations, they knew the truth.

[m4ndy]

This subject is hard to get around, but gurbani reveals a lot about life so it makes it easier to understand whats real and whats not.

Sometimes you will get people who marry out of their own religion so did god destine you to be with that person no it's the past karam through the life forms that we suffer in this life today. The five evils we need to think about that makes up about life itself. Don't forget everyone will depart from this life so who will be there in the end it won't be our family and certainly not husband/wife. Only god will present who truly loves us.

The friends and family who we are connected with us in this life were the people who were connected with us in the 8.4 million life forms so we face hurt we might always face happiness it depends on what we did good/ bad.

When it comes to sanjog yeah god has written but people change they might change for the better or the worse. When people arrange marriages it's up to the individual to tell if the girl or boy is bad they must declare because then if not lives are ruined after marriage divorces are then done. If someone tries to come in between maybe that's gods play a reason maybe for the better because your bad deed from a past life might have been erased due to the good deed in this life.

People change with times it's always happening sometimes people clash over opinions and beliefs that's individual thinking you just got to hope for the best.

[Kalsingh]

I think this sanjog issue about people think it being written comes from them thinking that it is written in gurbani, am I correct?

However, I believe that it is not even written in gurbani about your marriage being written. What is written is the marriage between you as a soul and god.

Please correct me if I am wrong, can anyone provide a quote from Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji that says marriage (between two people) is written?

[m4ndy]

I'm not sure but Guru Amar Das Ji states: they are not said to be husband and wife who merly have a physical contact only. Rather they alone are called husband and wife who have one soul in 2 bodies.

[HDSH]

There is no such thing as free will, but only a mere illusion of it.

[Guest Life]

HDSH - Do you mind explaining more on what you said?

[MokhamSingh]

<br />I just have afew questions that I would like your help and thoughts on, as I have been thinking alot about life lately and on this aspect.<br /><br />I believe/think that in terms of marriage your sanjog is already. Your husband/wife is already chosen for you at birth (like the saying in wedding cards) and it is just a matter of Waheguru brining the two people together on this earth. Then I question and think of how come so many people are getting divorced even after they have been married 10/15 years or more/less. But then I think of someone couples, how they met the situation etc and think no sanjogs are written, its true. <br />First of all, if sanjog is written then how come in this day and age people are getting divorced so quickly and/or suddenly?<br /><br />Say it is sanjog and you are destined to be with someone, can someone/another person come in between that and they marry they person you are meant to (I hope that makes sense?) So it is the free will of the third person (the one coming in between (if they can) )<br /><br />What is free will? Does it exist? How does free will and destiny/fate work?<br /><br />I hope I made sense!<br />

<br /><br /><br />

ਮਾਤ ਪਿਤਾ ਬਨਿਤਾ ਸੁਤ ਬੰਧਪ ਇਸਟ ਮੀਤ ਅਰੁ ਭਾਈ ॥

Maath Pithaa Banithaa Suth Bandhhap Eisatt Meeth Ar Bhaaee ||

मात पिता बनिता सुत बंधप इसट मीत अरु भाई ॥

Mother, father, spouse, children, relatives, lovers, friends and siblings meet,

3 ਜੈਤਸਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੭੦੦ ਪੰ. ੩ 

Raag Jaitsiri Guru Arjan Dev

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ਪੂਰਬ ਜਨਮ ਕੇ ਮਿਲੇ ਸੰਜੋਗੀ ਅੰਤਹਿ ਕੋ ਨ ਸਹਾਈ ॥੧॥

Poorab Janam Kae Milae Sanjogee Anthehi Ko N Sehaaee ||1||

पूरब जनम के मिले संजोगी अंतहि को न सहाई ॥१॥

Having been associated in previous lives; but none of them will be your companion and support in the end. ||1||

3 ਜੈਤਸਰੀ (ਮ: ੫) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੭੦੦ ਪੰ. ੩ 

Raag Jaitsiri Guru Arjan Dev

[SunSingh]

i don't think that there is only one person out there for someone. that is foolish false romanticism. i personally believe there are mulitiple possible karmic matches, i believe. some may be too old or young, or whatever, and not meet for marriage in this janam but in another. so marriage, and all other worldly relationships, are based on karma, it is essentially a settling of accounts. someone owes somebody else something, so they marry, pay off that debt, and then whatever attracted them to each other is gone. so they divorce... or they overcome that and instead become a partnership dedicated to helping each other in this life, and for the next. these partnerships are rare, and most people are too selfish to properly pull this off. in the present day, it seems that everything is speeding up, spiritually the world is approaching or in a crisis point, so the increased speed of settling debts leads to increased divorce rates.

[Guest guptbhenji]

WJKK WJKF

I agree with Sunsingh paji, its all about karm. Paying off past debts, "hisaab-khitaab". Even if one is not happy in their lives, and tries to make the changes, life is such that without gods will change cannot become.

Its wat is laid out in front of us, that we have to go through everything, only waheguruji can make the changes. I dont think sanjog is wat people say it is.

i don't think that there is only one person out there for someone. that is foolish false romanticism. i personally believe there are mulitiple possible karmic matches, i believe. some may be too old or young, or whatever, and not meet for marriage in this janam but in another. so marriage, and all other worldly relationships, are based on karma,

- totally agree with this.