Who Am I

[Guest Lost]

Ok well i just wanted to say im a Singh well not a full one i wear like a bandana patka and have kept my dari short but have kept it, also fairly religious. Anywayz my story starts that early this yr i started to look at religion seriously and i found out soo much information that i didnt know before anywayz i found myself talking alot about religion and thinking about God especially before i used to go sleep lolz but then i started uni and since i found myself driven to do stuff like clubbing and partying, the 'typical socialising things,' i also drank and well i dont want to mention other things ive done, the problem is that without doing these things i cant see myself having a good time and socialising, ok i go to the sikh society events but the girls there are sometimes dressed like slappers (they only go 4 the social stuff they are def not religious) and the guys are mona and drink alot, i sometimes question what i am *sigh* i think am i punjabi or am i Sikh i just cant put them together, for example today a hindu mate was saying a sardar is only a sardar if he drinks and eats meat lol we were jus having a laugh about stuff and it was in a mild nature, it showed his exprience with Sikhs and well i couldnt say no since thats like 99% of my family sumed up. I also dont come from a very religious family they are very punjabi, all the guys drink only my baba has a turban but even he cant leave alcohol alone and then i have like peer pressure and family pressure to go out and have fun, my family rates education above religion i would say and they are very JATT like, i am a very deep thinking person therefore sometimes i spend agesss wodnering lolz and i also have seen some gursikhs around but they like totally blank me like i dont knw like im nt good enough, i have a HUGE issue over identity since my family and friends punjabi lifestyles are completely contradicotry to the teachings of Sikhism i feel that if i become like amritdhari i would isolate myself from everyone aprt from like a few people, i would love to take amrit but i find that im def not ready yt i still have alot to learn. During my young teen yrs i also with vahegurus kirpa went to Gurdwara on my own accord and learned to read and write punjabi and learnt quite abit about Sikh history this is despite my parents not wanting me to go since they thought it would distract me from my school work, my mom also encouraged me to cut my hair (i never did but i also will never forget that), some of my cuz's have cut their hair, the only reason the third generation in my famly kept their hair was due to 84 and now they are forgetting i remember hearing my uncle say he's an atheist i think not a single person in my family goes gurdwara regurualy apart from grandparents this sort of pee's me off since i used to go every week but that last few yrs ive had alot of work but now at uni i go atleast once a week. At the gurdwara i feel inspired when i listen to the hymns and the kirtan especially when it is done by young gursikhs lolz i jus stare at them, wondering. I also know some friends and family might be visiting me and they would encourage me to go cubbing and have 'fun' looking at tarts and doing wrong stuff whilst getting drunk, if i say no to them they will probably think im some anti-social gay retard lolz. At uni i feel like i cant talk to NO ONE all my friends are either not Sikh, drink, not religious, do something or the other i also have a friend from a gurmukh family and this guy like secretly drinks and stuff and it sort of pee's me off i dont want to start on this. Well lol i just thought if i suddenly picked up a gurmukh lifestyle i would only have a handful of friends i belive i could talk to and they would understand me and keep me away from trouble. Also what pee's me of is girls they never attend sikh society events instead i see them clubbin, therefore i dont see no religous girls which is annoying since Sikh girls should represent themselves. Sometimes i think it would be easy i was born like some random white guy since they seem to have no religious connections what so ever but they also dont have the punjabi pride which i hold so dear to my heart. Anywayz my rant over even though i got alot more to say, i would like to ask is there anyone else here who has the same problem, could you give me your wisdom. To sum it up i find putting the following in a calculator Punjabi + Sikhism = error, relieved after getting that of my chest.

[Guest ...]

i jus smiled whilst reading that post...and the reason i smiled is because you know what to do, you know the "right answer"....

you have such AMAZING karam to be able to feel the way you are feeling.to think the things you are thinking..your reflecting, which is alot more than one can say for most "sikhs".

Currently, it seems as if you dont have the strength to step away from freinds, family who are leading you towards the "punjabi" direction, so what i suggest that you read gurbani, understand the meanings, and if you are a deep thinker like you said, it will blow you away totally.this will give you the strength and make you realise that freinds and family will not go with you....they will not make you complete....you'l always feel empty without VAHEGURU.

slowly, if you let yourself,you yourself will go to a club/bar and feel sick jus looking at the way people live their life..not even sick, but feel sorry...

its empty..life is empty...theres a gap and many try to fill this gap by going clubbing, drinking, smoking, going out...but when this goes away then your left sitting there wth that same gap, and yet again you try and fill it, by doing all these things...and here you have it..the way most of the world live.the gap may be filed temporarily, but with this comes pain and suffering, mental and physical.

this gap/feeling of emptiness can be filled permanantly, which is what gursikhs work towards by reading gurbani and doing simran.

i really strongly suggest you work on keeping your kesh..your dhari and wearing a dastar...it will do wonders for your identity crisis.i know you may be thinking..oh well its easier than it looks..or its easy to say, but ive been there....im a singhnee, but ive stil been there, being judged by others when wearing a datstar and keeping me kesh.

its hard if you feel your going through this alone, but i assure you, your not..if you start beliving that guruji's around to support you always then leave it all to Him.do ardas, and mahraj will help you , give you the strength to change your path...

and this doesnt necessarily mean go against your parents.in fact they might even start realsiing what their doing isnt right and may change too.you may be thinking "NO WAY" but trust me, its hapened countless times, when you'd least excpect it.

ok lol im gona stop rambling on now.

i hope ive helped and hope i havtn confused you anymore

goodluck with everything.

ps. also get some sangat...there msut be plenty of people on this forum happy to have your sangat..or if your interested i'l give you a few email adresses :-)

[Super_Singhni]

WJKK

WJKF

Hey Lost, just wanted to say that when I was at university ALL my friends were white and did the usual stuff i.e. drinking, clubbing etc and when i did meet indians they were pretty much the same!

There wasnt even a Sikh Soc, so at times I did feel alone but that experience has really helped me in life.

I came out of it a stronger and more confident person and proud of the fact that I was one of very few Sikhs there.

I think that you should concentrate on yourself first and what you really want, because you seem to talk about other girls and boys and how they act, dress etc. If you know that your actions are not right, then you are the only one responsible for changing them.

Sikhi is different for every individual and people find it in different ways. You have to sit down and think about how much you want it, because if you want it bad enough nothing and nobody can stop you.

Bhul Chuk Marf Karni.

WJKK

WJKF

[Guest Guest]

kirpa kirpa kirpa kirpa kirpaaaa

SINGH

go n intruduce urself to sum gursikhs

dont leave them for a second

forget clubbing, forget everything that you know is wrong.

READ GURBANI

www.sikhitothemax.com

this site has translations in english

your post was really interesting to read

but seriously

FIND SOME SANGAT

bug any gursikh you see

dont leave their side

ask thm any questions u might have

where do u live?

sounds like ur in bham somewhere?

dunno y but thas the impression i got

wherever u r

start goin to kirtan programs

rehansbaees, there r tons all over the country

saturdays nights yeah

instead of going to a club or pub

go to a kirtan darbar or rehansbaee

think about this tuk from gurbani:

pRIiq pRIiq gurIAw mohn lwlnw ]

preeth preeth gureeaa mohan laalanaa ||

Love of the enticing Beloved Lord is the most glorious love.

jip mn goibMd eykY Avru nhI ko lyKY sMq lwgu mnih Cwfu duibDw kI kurIAw ]1] rhwau ]

jap man gobi(n)dh eaekai avar nehee ko laekhai sa(n)th laag manehi shhaadd dhubidhhaa kee kureeaa ||1|| rehaao ||

Meditate, O mind, on the One Lord of the Universe - nothing else is of any account. Attach your mind to the Saints, and abandon the path of duality. ||1||Pause||

[Anand]

It seems that you are on the path of discovering the sikhi within you but are being off put by the sangat that you keep. Be proud that you are bringing sikhi (even if only by your presence) to poeple who would not normally have this honour.

The only thing I wanted to say was you already know what is right and wrong and at the end of the day if you let go of this opportunity to get into your sikhi you will always regret it and it wont be the fault of your parents/family/friends but ultimately your own.

Throughout life we will all come in contact with atheists, antagonists and other faiths. Remember to always have pyaar in your heart for everyone. I have met many atheists and antagonists and the amount of voluntary charity work (seva) that they some of them do is remarkable.

Remember: If you do not see God in all you do not see God at all.

[heart]

Take hukhamnamaa :D

[Guest Lost]

Currently, it seems as if you dont have the strength to step away from freinds, family who are leading you towards the "punjabi" direction, so what i suggest that you read gurbani, understand the meanings, and if you are a deep thinker like you said, it will blow you away totally.this will give you the strength and make you realise that freinds and family will not go with you....they will not make you complete....you'l always feel empty without VAHEGURU.

I def dont have the strength yet i am sort of scared when it comes to Sikhism since i know and remember 3 people who took amrit at around my age and then turned back to manmukhs and they drink and all sorts wear earings smoke (etc), two of these includes my cuz and the other used to be a young granthi at the gurdwara when my dad pointed him out, i was left speachless and till this day i mentally shiver since i dont want to do something i dont know much about lolz if you get me anyway

its hard if you feel your going through this alone, but i assure you, your not..if you start beliving that guruji's around to support you always then leave it all to Him.do ardas, and mahraj will help you , give you the strength to change your path...

Guruji has always supported me in times of need i always got what my heart weeped for, but i also have loads of questions and sometimes i wish there was someone at uni i can talk to at the end of the day there is an msn buddy i can talk to but in face to face people JUST know the party side of me and they dont know that i also have like a religious side i talked to my mate from a gursikh family once about bhai mati das and he looked at me soulessly like yh nice... it made me slightly upset :D . Dont get me wrong im a funny and loving person :T: but i always felt like my lifestyle is being torn apart by 2 opposites on one hand its my conscience and my utter belief in there being a superior being, Waheguru and on ther other hand its the appeasement of my family and friends at uni.

ps. also get some sangat...there msut be plenty of people on this forum happy to have your sangat..or if your interested i'l give you a few email adresses :-)

Im too scared to add people on msn they probably like hardcore Sikhs and plus some Gursikhs at uni seem like TOO religous i'll be honest with you i consider myself religious but im also sort of an <banned word filter activated> like i say stupid and funny things, sometimes i see that people dont always share my sense of humour, since i do like to LAAF alot.

[Guest Guest]

I think that you should concentrate on yourself first and what you really want, because you seem to talk about other girls and boys and how they act, dress etc. If you know that your actions are not right, then you are the only one responsible for changing them.

Yes i know

[Guest LOST]

go n intruduce urself to sum gursikhs

dont leave them for a second

forget clubbing, forget everything that you know is wrong.

I dont know any Gursikhs from my yr apart from 2 and they've heard stories about me getting drunk and they sort of laugh to me about it like, have you stayed sobber this week and stuff therefore i really find it hard to talk to them since they probably think im some raving alchoholic but i did show one of them up when i corrected him about what the guy in the gurdwara was talking about :D

READ GURBANI

www.sikhitothemax.com

this site has translations in english

your post was really interesting to read

but seriously

FIND SOME SANGAT

bug any gursikh you see

dont leave their side

ask thm any questions u might have

where do u live?

sounds like ur in bham somewhere?

dunno y but thas the impression i got

wherever u r

start goin to kirtan programs

rehansbaees, there r tons all over the country

Im not at bham uni im somewhere north i dont want to mention where but its a city uni in the north of england, i hate when people say start doing kirtan programmes since i dont udnerstand what you mean what exactly is kirtan programme i know what kirtan is but not what its all about

saturdays nights yeah

instead of going to a club or pub

go to a kirtan darbar or rehansbaee

i go every saturday night to the gurdwara to listen to the programme and bani

[Guest Guest]

Gurfateh

Veerji I don't think you are alone in thinking that if you take on Sikhi then you will have no friends or family members left with whom you can socialise... I know many who feel like this.. especially if they are embracing sikhi later on in life and are not born into the Gursikh way of life, as it is a big change for them as well as everyone they know.

I am an Amrit dhaari and although my immediate family is also into Gursikhi, all of my extended family is quite literally exactly as you described.. very into panjabi culture.... However I have not found this to be a problem when it comes to getting along because we still associate and hang out, but to the limits that I find ok... at the end of the day, if you really believe in your sikhi then you wont want to hang out with them beyond these limits as you yourself wont feel comfortable... I dont think you need to force yourself to disassociate with them altogether but just back away in certain situations when you feel uncomfortable... the more Gurbani and naam you recite the more strength you will obtain to abstain from engaging in the activities which take you away from Guru and Vaheguru.

The only reason you are worried about what your family members/friends will think and how they will treat you if you embrace sikhi is because you have only experienced them treat you in the way they have done til now as someone not fully into sikhi.. when you fully represent and embark on living a Gursikh life, they will realise that you possess a different set of ideals to them.. that you have taken on the Guru's way of life... hopefully they will accept the change and treat you accordingly.. if they don't then you've got to ask yourself whether their acceptance of you is more important to you or whether your own inner strength, satisfaction and happiness matter more.... ??

Besides, once you have found yourself and begin to fully adhere to the Gursikh way of life, you will find that you make alot more Gursikh friends through gurdwara and sangat, who share the same interests as you... further, and most importantly, you will make the greatest friends of all.. Guru and Vaheguru... who will be by your side always.....

Hope everything works out...

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!