How To Overcome Thoughts Of A Singh

[Guest _kaur_]

I have a problem, and i nreally need some adivice. I keep of having thoughts of a guy, no matter how much i try to disicpline my mind from simran and ardaas, it does not work. I feel like from gurujee when i think iof him. I do not want to, i try to stop myself, but the thought do not stop as hard as i try. SANGAT JEE PLEASE HELP!!!

[Dalvir]

WaheguruJiKaKhalsaWaheguruJiKiFateh

The most important thing to do is Ardas. After that, make sure you take a Hukamnama. Do ardas bhenji that you never see this Singh around, if you do, please avoid him at all costs!

In addition, get as much sangat as you can, and try to focus on Sangat of Bibian. Read more of Guru Ji's Pavitar Bani as well. Daas hopes this helps.

WaheguruJiKaKhalsaWaheguruJiKiFateh

[Guest Pehir]

Just 'watch your thoughts' as they come to you.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

"Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious."

That is, If you aim is to see GOD then don't even think that others even exist. Because this world is nothing but HIM.

'Eho Vis Sansar Tum Dekdhai Eho Har Ka Roop hai Har Roop Nadri Ayaa'

This way you'll learn to respect others and not 'want' them.

Plant the seed of Naam and harvest HIM.

'Waheguru' shabad will help you if you seek help from it 'sincerely' and 'lovingly' with full focus on his holy lotus feet.

End of your misery. See? It's so simple...

[Guest Papi]

The more you fight this though, the stronger it will become. As Pheena would say, just as the thought has come naturally, it will go away naturally as well. But as you fight the thought, it might morph into something that you will not be able to control.

When the thought comes, acknowledge it, notice that it's there. But also notice that it has no power over you, take deep breaths and just try to relax. You may like to do slow simran with the breath as well.

A lot of people here have a phobia when it comes to such issues, so I'm sure they will disagree with what I will say next. I would encourage you to treat this as a learning experience that is adding a priceless lesson to your life. Cherish it, learn from it, and grow!

[Guest Papi]

The most important thing to do is Ardas. After that, make sure you take a Hukamnama.

No one can disagree with that

Do ardas bhenji that you never see this Singh around, if you do, please avoid him at all costs!

I beg to differ, avoiding is not going to solve the underlying issue. As humans we naturally long to be with someone, it's nature's way of ensuring that humanity grows and prospers. When you avoid situations, you are really not dealing with the issue, you are simply burying those emotions/feelings and they will surely surface at a later point in her life. Agreed that she should not go out of her way to have a conversation with the guy, but if they accidentally bumps into him, is she suppose to run away? NO! In my mid 20's and only now I am beginning to realize how important it is that we face the issues life throws at us, rather than avoiding/running away from them (which is what I have been doing for too many years). Sooner one starts, the better it is; these challenges only get tougher as you get older.

I want to specifically talk about doing ardaas that she never sees this guy around. That is the wrong approach! If you look at our history, people faced such hardships, mothers saw their kids butchered in front of them, men were mercilessly and brutally killed, Sikhs had to leave everything and go live in jungles, the list goes on...but they never did ardaas asking the hardships be taken away! What did they do? They asked for strength to stand up against heavy odds; they asked for courage to go out and fight; they did ardaas that whatever happens, they may never turn their back on the Guru. To ask for a hardship to be taken away!!! that is what a coward does, if you wish to be one, then please go ahead ask for that. Otherwise, ask for strength! ask for courage! ask for patience! ask for his love!

PS. Dalvir, this is not a personal attack on you. I can easily see how what I wrote above can be taken as that.

[Dalvir]

WaheguruJiKaKhalsaWaheguruJiKiFateh

Papi ji, thank you for correcting my mistakes.

WaheguruJiKaKhalsaWaheguruJiKiFateh