"The Autobiography Of Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh"

[AvnitK]

this thread will be updated every week going chapter by chapter or sumtimes page by page

this book is the english translation of jail chittyan

Chapter 1

Awakening of Faith

YOU ASK ME, how did the love of Sikhism awaken in my mind. The important thing is that it came as a special inspiration from the Divine Being, otherwise there was nothing in me to merit it. There was a natural yearning for true love in my heart from childhood. I had searched long and hard for a true and beloved friend, whose love could last unto death, but I did not find any. With all this disappointment, the spark of love, present within my heart, convinced me that it was the only life-giving flame, which had emerged from a mysterious fountain within, and was now flickering dimly in my inner being.

The sights of nature's beauty had a fascinating effect on me. In my own innocent way, I considered the whole sublime creation a miraculous phenomenon, but I did not in the least know or feel that behind all this cosmos there was the Supreme Creator. The colorful beauty of the manifold and wondrous creation inspired me with rapturous feelings of love. The outward beauty of nature enchanted me, but when the colours faded there was disappointment and sadness. The deep-seated love for beauty was always there. The presence of this abiding spark of love indicated that there must be some eternal Spirit of life, resembling this undying flame within man, so that, one could live in love without any disappointment and disillusionment. I had such experiences and intimation of inner life, I knew nothing of religion and religious life.

My early life thus passed in secular education. There were a number of encounters with evil and sin but my moral nature and character remained unaffected by them. I somehow escaped the onslaught of four cardinal sins which a Sikh is expected to avoid. I can now say that God protected me from these evils. I could never have escaped them by my own will-power.

to be continued ....

four cardinal sins :- 1. A sikh must not smoke, 2. he must not commit adultery, 3. He must not cut his hair and beard, 4. He must not eat meat

Note: i dont know if we should this make this a sticky or not..

[AvnitK]

hmm im vehli so lets jsut write some more

Continued...

Prayer for a purpose

There were three strong influences which prevailed at Lahore during those days. Firstly, there was an intellectual atmosphere of serious studies. Secondly, there was a vicious atmosphere of glamorous enchantments of sinful life. Thirdly, the religious atmosphere was made turbulent and spiritless by caustic debates an discussions between various faiths and sects. I got into the habit of attending most of these discussions but on finding nothing but cold criticism and dry debates, I did not feel attracted towards any religion. The deep-seated spark of love within me, did not find anchorage in any of these faiths. The religious atmosphere of the time can be described in Bhai Gurdas' words: sach kinare reh geya khaih khaih marde bahmin maulane. : Truth is left aside, while Brahmins and Mullahs fight a deadly war of words.

B.A. final examination was drawing near. I had also to appear for first year Law examination. I received a letter from father in which he wrote : "You have to appear in two examinations. If you want to pass, you must recite the Japji prayer in the morning and Rehras in the evening". He also sent a prayer book. I knew Punjabi language quite well, but had never read the guru's hymns (Gurbani). I had never read any book on Sikhism upto this time:

For selfish ends,

I made God my friend,

Even then

God fulfilled my desires,

And blessed me

With the highest state of liberation.

Guru Arjan : Gaudi, P. 195,

This was the miracle, which the Lord worked on me, when I started reciting prayers for selfish ends. My swan-like soul, which was passionately thirsty for the pearl drops of love, got its real food and forgot everything else. The mystic significance and the sublimity of the Guru's hymns became so clear to me within a few days that i became a restless seeker for the unseen Beloved. I lost almost all my body consciousness in this spiritual search for the love of the Beloved. I recited the Rehras in such a poignant and soul-stirring strain that the listeners were deeply moved. At last one day, the following lines from Rehras pierced my soul like an arrow and gave me definite spiritual purpose of life.

Thou hast acquired this human frame;

This is the opportunity to be one with God.

all other labour is unprofitable.

Seek the company of the holy and glorify His name;

Strenuously prepare to cross this terrible ocean,

Thy life is being wasted, in worldly attachments.

Guru Arjan: Rehras

The meaning ans spiritual fervour of these lines pierced my heart so deeply that there arose a perpetual yearning in my soul for a union with the Lord. I lost all interest in studies. Even in the class room I kept a textbook on the desk while I secretly read various selections from the Guru Granth Sahib like : Bai varan, Bhagat Bani. Tears rolled down my eyes as I read them.

Only in the Bible period, I applied my mind to religious studies and discussions. Whenever there was a debate on comparative study of religions, I succeeded in showing the importance of the Sikh ideals and thoughts. I all other periods, my mind was completely absorbed in thoughts about God and I did not think of anything else. Even when I came to the Nabha hostel, my residence, my mind was actively yearning and praying for God and I neglected my studies. Some fellow-students wrote to my father that I had suddenly developed a religious madness and was neglecting my studies; so someone should come and take care of me.

Father was seriously upset and worried by the news. He came in hot haste and on his arrival he saw me, reading a book of hymns and tears flowing from my eyes as I read it. Father gave a long homily, persuading me not to neglect my studies, but I said in all humility that it was he who urged me to recite the prayers every day. Before that, I was utterly devoid of religious thoughts. He however gave a long discourse and explained many things in his own way. With my head lowered, I listened to him in silence. After saying and suggesting many good things he went away, but the condition of my mind remained the same. From then onwards I tried to conceal my inner yearning and sadness(vairaag) from the people. I did not express my feelings and sentiments to anyone and continued studying and reciting the Sacred hymns secretly, fearing that someone might report it to my father and upset him again. While I was answering B.A. examination papers, I was at times so overwhelmed by rapturous religious emotions that I could not write a word, but at times my pen moved so fast that I scarcely knew what I was writing.

to be continued..