October 31st: Tough Choices

[SanmukhKaur]

To be a widow without never really being married was a choice Bibi Surinder Kaur Ji made against the advise of family members around her. Bibi Surinder Kaur Ji was engaged to be married to Bhai Satwant Singh Ji, the assassin of then Indian Prime Minister Indra Gandhi. To understand Bibi Ji’s decision it is important to look at the events that lead to her decision; the engagement, the wait and finally the marriage itself.

Bibi Surinder Kaur Ji was a cousin of Bhai Satwant Singh’s sister-in-law and through the sister-in-law the alliance for Bibi Ji was brought. The alliance was finalized almost immediately because of the connection that already existed between the families. The wedding date was set for early 1984 but Bhai Satwant Singh Ji was unable to get time off; the wedding was delayed. Then in June, 1984 operation Blue Star happened and everything changed. Bhai Beant Singh Ji was inspired by his uncle to avenge the bloody massacre, not just grieve over it. Bhai Beant Singh Ji approached Bhai Satwant Singh Ji and Bhai Satwant Singh Ji agreed to bring Indra Gandhi to justice. On October 31st, they assassinated Indra Gandhi and made Sikhs around the world proud. This day, would be the beginning of events that would force Bibi Surinder Kaur Ji to make the biggest decision of her life, independently.

The Indian Government denied visitation rights to Bibi Surinder Kaur Ji based on the fact she was not yet the lawfully wedded wife of Bhai Satwant Singh Ji, nor related to him in manner. The visitation rights were not denied outright, they were denied after Bibi Ji had already meet Bhai Satwant Singh Ji three times in prison; this was just another way to torture Bhai Satwant Singh Ji and his family. Bibi Ji decided to marry a picture of Bhai Satwant Singh Ji, so the government could not stop her from meting Bhai Satwant Singh Ji. Her father and father-in-law were both against this decision because they knew Bhai Satwant Singh Ji would never come out of jail. Bibi Ji’s father, Sardar Virsa Singh Ji, threatened to take poison if Bibi Ji didn’t change her decision but Bibi Ji stated firm and told him that in Sikhi everything is predestined and his death is written by Akal Purkh (God), as is her marriage to Bhai Satwant Singh Ji. Bibi Ji’s father-in-law, Sardar Tarlok Singh Ji, told her to rethink her decision and offered to get her married to Bhai Satwant Singh’s younger brother, Swaran Singh. Again, Bibi Ji refused saying she can only love one person, Bhai Satwant Singh, and Swaran Singh will always be like a younger brother to her. Bibi Ji was adamant that she will marry only Bhai Satwant Singh, even if she had to marry his picture.

Bibi Ji’s family took her to Akal Thakt Sahib to have the Jathedar Jasbir Singh Rhode convince her to change her mind. But Bibi Ji’s reply to the Jathedar as copied from neverforget1984.com was enough for everyone to see her point of view and allow the marriage to take place. Bibi Surinder Kaur replied, “Singh Sahib Ji, you are right. The authorities will give Satwant Singh the hangmans noose. Both our families had decided to marry me and Satwant Singh. Due to Satwant Singh not getting holidays, the wedding was delayed at the last moment. However if Satwant Singh killed Indira Gandhi after our marriage, then he would have been sentenced to hanging aswell. I, as Satwant Singh’s wife would have had to see every hard time in the future. My husband, Satwant Singh did a great and brave task! The integrity of the Sikh Nation, it’s dastaar, was ripped off by Indira Gandhi and she stamped on it with her feet in June 1984. My husband took the dastaar of the Sikh Nation and replaced it on its head. Even in my worst dreams, I could never turn my back on such a great man. It can never happen! I have accepted Satwant Singh as my husband. I will never let a stain come on his Dastaar. I will spend my whole life as the widow of Satwant Singh!”

Bibi Surinder Kaur married Bhai Surinder Singh Ji’s picture on May 2nd, 1988 in the presence of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. She lived her life as the bride of Bhai Satwant Singh Ji up until Janruary 6th, 1989 when Bhai Ji recieved martyrdom. After which, Bibi Surinder Ji lived life as his widow. Bibi Ji will forever be remembered by Khalsa Panth for the dedication she showed Bhai Satwant Singh Ji. Bibi Ji passed away a few years ago from cancer but she will forever be remembered along with Bhai Satwant Singh Ji as his wife.