Family Dilemma

[JSinghN]

Fateh,

I do not drink, eat meat etc and i regularly do my paath now.....im totally different to my family....my mum is religious.....my friend told me that a decent family would not let their daughter marry me because of the fact that my dad drinks alcohol to the point where he sometimes comes home drunk...ive tried to get my family to change i.e. dad not drink and mum not argue with him loudly but its obvious that they never will.....when my friend told me the thing above i became depressed........does this mean ill never get married, my friend goes you dont want to be 30 and still looking to get married.....its making me depressed im going to be 27 soon....:-(

[Guest singh]

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

remember its all already written in your destiny whether you are to get married or not, and if so, who to. so don't worry about it too much, just be strong in your sikhi, keep faith in guru sahib.

just for the sake of the discussion though, i would like to say that a decent family isnt always a typically traditional one, there are families, like mine who are VERY religious (amritdhari, maharaj parkash in house) but culturally we are not like punjabis at all but very western, and all of us have been brought up like this. So using the example of my own family, we wouldnt really worry about that too much (eg for my sister), as long as the boy was good, religous and not dodgy in any way.

I havent got much experience in this field but as per my own understanding, it tends to be the more pendu/traditional families who like having so much family involvement and look at the history of the family to that extent. Whereas those who are religious but more laid back otherwise would be more interested in making sure the boy was ok as they werent necessarily planning on having so much involvement with the boy's family anyway (also that the girl being married into the family would not have a huge deal of inovlvement with the inlaws either). By involvement i mean to the huge extent that some traditional punjabi famliies seem to have it, eg. living with in laws etc.

[Guest Kaur]

From a girls point of view.......chill! Theres no need to stress. I know a few families who would look at the guy and not just the family. If the girl likes u and is happy with u, so will be the family. Nowadays parents just want their kids to be happy.

Also like someone said, ultimately its all written beforehand, God has already chosen someone for u...so chill out, relax , and let it unfold.....

[Guest Guest]

JSinghN

What your friend said is true in general.

In Arrange Marriage scenario people look for a match with similar background like the caste, religious beliefs, food habits etc.

For example, 99 percent

1. Ramgarhia and Jat will never consider a match outside their community.

2. Akhand Kirtani's families will not have relations with non-Akj or Amritdhari families.

3. Vegans or Vegetarians will not look for non-vegetarians.

4. Punjabi's or people born to punjabi's get married to the one selected by their parents so Relax.