7 Habits of Highly Effective People

[chardee_kalaa]

waheguru ji ka khalsa,

waheguru ji ki fateh!

i have just started to read the "seven habits of highly effective people" by stephen r. covey.

after missing school for two days, having a messy room for a week, wearing a kirpan that is too big for his liking, and other reasons, my dad got tired of my behaviour and said that i have to read this book.

so i have started to read the book and i will be typing out some quotes from the book here and some commentaries.

of course gurbani has all the answers - we just fail to understand them. therefore i will be including gurbani quotes in my commentary wherever i find it is relevent.

if any of the sangat has objections to this post or suggestions, please do not post in this thread - please PM me.

thank you :lol:

waheguru ji ka khalsa,

waheguru ji ki fatheh!

[chardee_kalaa]

GOOSE & EGG

Mr. Covey talks about the story of a farmer who had a goose that laid golden eggs. The farmer really valued the golden eggs and he started to get greedy. He wanted more eggs out of the goose so he killed the goose and opened it up. Of course the eggs were a product of the goose's body, and they took time to produce. When he opened the goose there were no eggs. So the man lost the goose and the eggs.

Mr. Covey relates this to a "production ability" and "produced good" concept. He says that we need to manage what we produce, but also manage what produces it.

My grandfather calls this the "ghor-savaar" concept. "Ghor-savaar" means "horse and rider." He told me a story about two horse-riders who decided to race each other. He said the first started to train his horse very much. His horse became so stealth and strong while he neglected to train himself. The second horserider trained himself very much. He became a strong horserider but his horse was not trained. When the race came, the first could not manage his horse because it was too strong for him, and the second was too strong for his horse -- so they both lost the race.

Relating it to Sikhi, the goose is our body and the goose-egg is simran. In this metaphor we need to take care of our body so that we can be in a good mental state to do simran.

And for the other Sakhi, the horse is our body and the horse rider is our soul. The rider should be strong, and so we should do simran, but the horse must be strong enough to carry the rider to his destination, so our body should be well-fed and well-slept.

In relation to this, Guru jee says:

rwgu soriT ][/font]

raag sorat(h) ||

Raag Sorat'h:

BUKy Bgiq n kIjY ]

bhookhae bhagath n keejai ||

I am so hungry, I cannot perform devotional worship service.

Xh mwlw ApnI lIjY ]

yeh maalaa apanee leejai ||

Here, Lord, take back Your mala.

hau mWgau sMqn rynw ]

ho maa(n)go sa(n)than raenaa ||

I beg for the dust of the feet of the Saints.

mY nwhI iksI kw dynw ]1]

mai naahee kisee kaa dhaenaa ||1||

I do not owe anyone anything. ||1||

mwDo kYsI bnY qum sMgy ]

maadhho kaisee banai thum sa(n)gae ||

O Lord, how can I be with You?

Awip n dyhu q lyvau mMgy ] rhwau ]

aap n dhaehu th laevo ma(n)gae || rehaao ||

If You do not give me Yourself, then I shall beg until I get You. ||Pause||

duie syr mWgau cUnw ]

dhue saer maa(n)go choonaa ||

I ask for two kilos of flour,

pwau GIau sMig lUnw ]

paao gheeo sa(n)g loonaa ||

and half a pound of ghee, and salt.

AD syru mWgau dwly ]

adhh saer maa(n)go dhaalae ||

I ask for a pound of beans,

mo kau donau vKq ijvwly ]2]

mo ko dhono vakhath jivaalae ||2||

which I shall eat twice a day. ||2||

Kwt mWgau caupweI ]

khaatt maa(n)go choupaaee ||

I ask for a cot, with four

legs,

isrhwnw Avr qulweI ]

sirehaanaa avar thulaaee ||

and a pillow and mattress.

aUpr kau mWgau KINDw ]

oopar ko maa(n)go khee(n)adhhaa ||

I ask for a quit to cover myself.

qyrI Bgiq krY jnu QNØIDw ]3]

thaeree bhagath karai jan thha(n)aeedhhaa ||3||

Your humble servant shall perform Your devotional worship service with love. ||3||

mY nwhI kIqw lbo ]

mai naahee keethaa labo ||

I have not acted in greed;

ieku nwau qyrw mY Pbo ]

eik naao thaeraa mai fabo ||

Your Name is the only ornament I wish for.

kih kbIr mnu mwinAw ]

kehi kabeer man maaniaa ||

Says Kabeer, my mind is pleased and appeased;

mnu mwinAw qau hir jwinAw ]4]11]

man maaniaa tho har jaaniaa ||4||11||

now that my mind is pleased and appeased, I have come to know the Lord. ||4||11||

[chardee_kalaa]

Do Love, Feel Love (UDHAM KARO, KARAAVO THAAKUR)

Mr. Covey talks about Love as an action word - a verb. Love is not just a feeling, but an action which inspires a feeling.

In the book on page 79 - 80 he says:

At one seminar where I was speaking on the concept of proactivity, a man came up and said, "Stephen, I like what you're saying. But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I'm really worried. My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don't love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can I do?"

"The feeling isn't there anymore," I asked.

"That's right," he reaffirmed. "And we have three children we're really concerned about. What do you suggest?"

"Love her," I replied.

"I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore."

"Love her."

"You don't understand. The feeling of love just isn't there."

"Then love her. If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her."

"But how do you love when you don't love?"

"My friend, love is a verb. Love -- the feeling -- is a fruit of love, the verb. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?"

___________

In this regard Mr. Covey is explaining that first you have to DO LOVE, and then you can FEEL LOVE. This is the leading reason of why there are so many divorces in USA.

It is also the reason for why so many people are breaking off from Sikhism.

People say "You know I just don't feel the love anymore."

Well it's not up to you - it's up to Guru jee

.

If you want to feel the love you need to act , DO love.

Guru Sahib does not say we need to feel love. Feeling love is a gift from Guru Sahib.

Guru Sahib says we need to DO LOVE. "Jin Prem KEEO then he prabh paaeio"

Love is something to do - do love by sacrificing for Guru jee, by living for Guru jee, by praying to guru jee.

Love is a state of being, not an emotion. The internal feeling of love is something that people feel when they have practiced love.

In the shabad below you can see Guru sahib says "Love does not well-up" so what is the poor servant to do ?

But then Guru Sahib gives the answer that if you "control this maya" then you will be saved and love will come into your heart.

"iblwvlu ]

bilaaval ||

Bilaaval:

iein@ mwieAw jgdIs gusweI qum@ry crn ibswry ]

einih maaeiaa jagadhees gusaaee thumharae charan bisaarae ||

This Maya has made me forget Your feet, O Lord of the World, Master of the Universe.

ikMcq pRIiq n aupjY jn kau jn khw krih bycwry ]1] rhwau ]

ki(n)chath preeth n oupajai jan ko jan kehaa karehi baechaarae ||1|| rehaao ||

Not even a bit of love wells up in Your humble servant; what can Your poor servant do? ||1||Pause||

iDRgu qnu iDRgu Dnu iDRgu ieh mwieAw iDRgu iDRgu miq buiD PMnI ]

dhhrig than dhhrig dhhan dhhrig eih maaeiaa dhhrig dhhrig math budhh fa(n)nee ||

Cursed is the body, cursed is the wealth, and cursed is this Maya; cursed, cursed is the clever intellect and understanding.

ies mwieAw kau idRVu kir rwKhu bWDy Awp bcMnI ]1]

eis maaeiaa ko dhrirr kar raakhahu baa(n)dhhae aap bacha(n)nee ||1||

Rest

rain and hold back this Maya; overcome it, through the Word of the Guru's Teachings. ||1||

ikAw KyqI ikAw lyvw dyeI prpMc JUTu gumwnw ]

kiaa khaethee kiaa laevaa dhaeee parapa(n)ch jhoot(h) gumaanaa ||

What good is farming, and what good is trading? Worldly entanglements and pride are false.

kih kbIr qy AMiq ibgUqy AwieAw kwlu indwnw ]2]9]

kehi kabeer thae a(n)th bigoothae aaeiaa kaal nidhaanaa ||2||9||

Says Kabeer, in the end, they are ruined; ultimately, Death will come for them. ||2||9||

Also Guru Sahib says:

guramukh eaehu ra(n)g paaeeai jis no kirapaa karae rajaae ||2||

The Gurmukh obtains this love, when the Lord, in His Will, grants His Grace. ||2||

[chardee_kalaa]

Circle of Influence

Mr. Covey talks about our circle of concern and our circle of influence.

Sometimes we have more influence, but we dont' care about anybody. This puts us in the situation of a tyrant.

In order to resolve this bad situation we need to have compassion, love, health, food, shelter and clothing.

(DEGH)

________

Sometimes we have more concerns, but we are not able to take care of them all. This puts us in a situation of a begger.

In order to resolve this bad situation we need to have inspiration, motivation, action, weapons, tools, and protection.

(TEGH)

Reactive people focus on what they wish they could change, even if they can't change it. They worry, stress, and complain. Eventually the problem gets worse than it was, and now they are even able to do less than they could before.

Proactive people focus on what they CAN DO within what they want to change. They take small, meaningful steps for positive change and eventually those steps turn into huge advances and they are able to do much more than they could before.

Only when you combine Degh and Tegh can you get FATEH.

For example, Bhai Parminder Singh jee started the Gurmat Studies Foundation with a small website and newsletter. He remained persistant and at the same time he continued his amazing seva and rehit. Eventually he opened the Guru Nanak Academy. He wrote a book on the life of Guru Nanak. He ran gurmat camps around the world. People from India to Italy to Iowa know who Bhai Parminder Singh jee was and they have heard his amazing English katha.

There are other examples, like the All India Sikh Studen

ts Federation, growing from 100 members to 10, 000 members in one year.

Think about the amazing seva that Sant Baba Jarnail Singh jee Bhinderanwale did for the panth and how many people took khande-ke-pahul because HE WAS PROACTIVE and inspired them.

The example of Shaheed Bhai Fauja Singh jee's Khalsa Farm.

Or Bhai Sahib Bhai Randheer Singh jee's NirbaaN Keertanee Jathhaa (now called Akhand Keertanee Jathhaa) - look how much influence it has all over the world now.

The lessons we learn from this are that it is better to work hard, small steps at a time, and not complain or blame other people.

Gurbani says in regard to this:

dhadhai dhos n dhaeoo kisai dhos kara(n)maa aapaniaa ||

Dadda: Do not blame anyone else; blame instead your own actions.

jo mai keeaa so mai paaeiaa dhos n dheejai avar janaa ||21||

Whatever I did, for that I have suffered; I do not blame anyone else. ||21||

-432, Sri Guru Granth Sahib Jee

Raamkalee, Fifth Mehl:

raamkalee mehlaa 5.

Don`t blame others, O people;

dos na deejai kaahoo log.

as you plant, so shall you harvest.

jo kamaavan so-ee bhog.

By your actions, you have bound yourself.

aapan karam aapay hee banDh.

You come and go, entangled in Maya. ||1||

aavan jaavan maa-i-aa DhanDh. ||1||

Such is the understanding of the Saintly people.

aisee jaanee sant janee.

You shall be enlightened, through the Word of the Perfect Guru. ||1||Pause||

pargaas bha-i-aa pooray gur bachnee. ||1|| rahaa-o.

Body, wealth, spouse and ostentatious displays are false.

tan Dhan kalat mithi-aa bisthaar.

Horses and elephants will pass away.

haivar gaivar chaalanhaar.

Power, pleasures and beauty are all false.

raaj rang roop sabh koor.

Without the Naam, the Name of

the Lord, everything is reduced to dust. ||2||

naam binaa ho-ay jaasee Dhoor. ||2||

The egotistical people are deluded by useless doubt.

bharam bhoolay baad ahaNkaaree.

Of all this expanse, nothing shall go along with you.

sang naahee ray sagal pasaaree.

Through pleasure and pain, the body is growing old.

sog harakh meh dayh birDhaanee.

Doing these things, the faithless cynics are passing their lives. ||3||

saakat iv hee karat bihaanee. ||3||

The Name of the Lord is Ambrosial Nectar in this Dark Age of Kali Yuga.

har kaa naam amrit kal maahi.

This treasure is obtained from the Holy.

ayhu niDhaanaa saaDhoo paahi.

O Nanak, whoever pleases the Guru,

naanak gur govid jis toothaa.

the Lord of the Universe, beholds the Lord in each and every heart. ||4||8||19||

ghat ghat rama-ee-aa tin hee deethaa. ||4||8||19||

--888 Sri Guru Granth Sahib jee

Pure are those who speak, and sanctified are those who hear and sing, forever and ever, the Glorious Praises of the Lord of the Universe.

kahat pavitar sunat puneet. gun govind gaavahi nit neet.

Says Nanak, when the Lord bestows His Mercy,

kaho naanak jaa ka-o hohu kirpaal.

all one`s efforts are fulfilled. ||4||23||92||

tis jan kee sabh pooran ghaal. ||4||23||92||

-- 183, Sri Guru Granth Sahib Jee

[chardee_kalaa]

Alright before I get ahead of myself --- that's all for the first chapter for now...

I will post more in a day or two...

Please do not post in this thread, Saadh Sangat jee, if you have any comments or concerns please PM me.

thank you,

waheguru ji ka khalsa,

waheguru ji ki fateh!