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Guest M Kaur

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Guest M Kaur

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I need some advice please. I am getting married in May next year. We have booked the gurdwara and are now deciding on the reception. Initially I have always thought to myself I wouldn’t mind not having a reception, this is just because I don’t like too much fuss (and don’t understand why I would spend so much on feeding people I am not necessarily close with). But as the wedding talk has started, now I am getting excited and have thought actually I don’t want to miss out and regret not having a reception, instead we could have a smaller reception and invite close family and friends only. The problem is of course this is not just up to me and my fiancé, now two sets of parents are involved! My father is quite traditional, he straightaway said I am not doing a reception, we are providing nice lunch at the Gurdwara and the grooms side can do what they want. I thought it was unfair for him to write it off straight away but I do understand as traditionally the grooms side pay for the reception? Then my fiancé’s parents came over couple weekends ago and said they definitely want a reception and suggested we can go half and half, so instead of langar at the gurdwara we go straight to the venue for lunch. At that time my dad did not say anything, but since then we have been arguing at home about what to do. If we have a reception, I don’t want a lunchtime one as i think they are too rushed as the doli will need to be done after. But if we do a reception in the evening or next day, we will be paying for the lunch at gurdwara and paying towards the reception (i would help of course, not letting my dad pay for everything). Because of this me and my partner have been arguing so much as we haven’t come to a decision. He’s saying if we don’t want a reception, they will have one but we will only be able to bring limited people, which is fair but I wouldn’t be happy if my family can’t be there. 

The other option is no reception at all, lunch at the gurdwara from us and then the doli. 

I feel like I am being pulled in different directions, I want to ensure everyone is happy and my fiancé and I are happy too but this doesn’t seem to be happening at the moment. I don’t think I have ever been so stressed when this is meant to be a happy time!

Any advice would be much appreciated.

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