sikh net confusing the youth

machete · January 23, 2005

I have read this one reply posted on 3/11/2004. A girl who considers herself a Sikh and want to marry a muslim. The moderator does NOT have the gutts to say that Sikhs are only allowed to marry Sikhs. As I have posted one of my replies in another email on this topic in response to DKK's reply. Sikhnet folks are misleading people. Is there anything we can do? Why not we do something as a group? so that sikhnet ppls stop misleading ppl??? I still have not heard anything from sikhnet about my previous email. Its been few weeks. anyway, read it:

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ke fateh...

I am a 19 year old sikh woman and i do consider myself to be religious. I follow things which i understand and believe is right such as doing my paat going to the gurdwara and doing sewa etc, although i do cut my hair. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 and a half years and he is muslim. Our relationship has been an on-off relationship because of the hassles we get for having different beliefs and choosing different ways of praying. He has never not once asked me to convert to his religion and tells me he appreciates the way i believe some things so strongly about my religion.

The problem is we just got engaged a month ago and i don't know if i should go through with the marriage or if my religion will allow me to? So many people are against us being together just because we hold different beliefs...especially my family. I hate lieing to my family but i feel as though im forced to do so when it comes to him.

I love him so much i feel like im torn between him and the rest of the world. What i don't understand is that out guru's made it so clear that we

are all equal in God's eyes.So why can't sikhs and muslims still not be seen as equal in everyone's eyes?

We don't want to marry until another three years and i am upsetting him and myself by worrying sick about whether my guru would allow this to happen or not. Could you please advise me in whether or not it is actually allowed-marrying a muslim-or not. Would anyone be willing to marry us in a gurdwara because that is the only place i would ever want to get married. Is there anyone i could directly speak to in London or Southampton about gettin married to a muslim in a gurdwara?

Thankyou so much for your time...

siknet replied......

Take the emotions out of your decision. Sit down with your self and think about what is really important to you in relation to your religion and marriage. For example, does it matter to you that you and your husband will not pray together? Does it matter to you that you will celebrate different holidays? How will you raise the children? Love is more than attraction and "chemistry" between two people. After you have thoroughly thought this out, discuss it all with your fiance. How does he feel about these things? I'm not saying that you can't work these things out, but its better to discuss it now before you marry. Don't be in an illusion. The decision you make will be with you for your life. Conflict erases love faster than anything. If you can work it out, go to one of the Gurdwaras in London and ask if you can be married there. Don't base your decision on what others think, but you must be realistic and practicle. Blessings, GTKK

machete · January 23, 2005

Panj Kakkar Issue - Kacchera

Sikhnet is giving ANTI-GURMAT ADVICE in the past...and they have done it again. Now they say we can remove Kashera while bathing! According to rehatnamas, we are not supposed to remove our Kashera when we wash our bodies, and supposed to change one leg at a time...but Sikhnet says that this is fanatical! Sikhnet needs to get its act together and actually study rehatnamas etc...and give advice accordingly, rather than use their own views...

PS---i have alot of respect for the 'American-born Gursikhs'...my complaint is not against them...it is against the people who are giving advice on the youth message board. HERE IS THE QUESTION AND ANSWER...

Hello..first of all i would like to congratulate to those who are maintaining this forum sessions...u people r doin a great job..

i would just want to know how to handle the kachera when we are bathing..

can we take it off while we r bathing or do we need to have it attached with us..i`m confused abt this.. and also i would like to KNOW how to handle kachera while having sex..i hope u people could clear my doubt

Sat Siri Akaal. Of course you should remove kachera when bathing (as in washing your body, not swimming). And, kachera can also be removed for sex with one's spouse (can't imagine not removing them!). We must not be fanatic! The idea of kachera is a consciousness of chastity and that the sexual organs and their functions are sacred. Kacheras are not to make us fanatic about hiding our bodies, that sex is bad, and/or that we should never take them off. Kacheras should be changed daily, too. Guru ang sang,

-

DKK

The main reason im upset because, who knows how many people out there have read that reply and began removing their Kasheras when bathing. By Singh

Once we went to see Bhai Harbhajan Singh Yogi in New Mexico and while we were talking, he told us that when he just came abroad he didn't bring a lot of stuff with him. He only had one kashera which we was wearing when he came here and he used to bathe in the same kacheara and then wait for it to dry up while he was wearing it! If someone who lived with hundreds of western minded people and didn't have a problem obeying this rehit, why should we? By Singh

Post is still up there on Sikhnet Youth Forum with no edition at all. Finally we are forced to make this website to alert Sangats on these important issues.