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  2. Waheguru he was at his grand dad's house as it's near his workplace, tbh they should've sent him back home and told him to take responsibility. They actually fueled the situation with the whole 'pati parmeshwar' notion which I'm not against I adore my husband, after all this is still can put my hand on my heart and say I love him but that doesn't mean the husband has no duty towards the wife. I.e. bhagat kabir jis wife treated him like God and bhagat ji loved his wife so much that today her name is in gurbani. The family is very religious the grandad is part of a big Sikh organisation in the UK. We're both amritdhari. Pen ji mistakes happen, people mess up, if my in laws sat there as told me and my husband that we both need to sort this out together and find a way out we probably could've had a strong relationship. Good times don't make a couple unbreakable it is the bad times as you learn to stick together, you learn to give and take. I wouldn't even have minded if they sat be down and gave me a good telling off if I did something wrong, I'm not perfect but I'm ready to learn and improve. I've never been in a relationship before so I don't know what love is like... before we were married he sent me some nice gifts on Valentine's day, he used write some cute msgs on the cards etc. He did seem decent, he taught me about guru gobind Singh jis bachan for couples, he explained to me how we're a gift from god to each other and how our laavan are like our amrit sanchaar and should never be broken. My heart still loves him, I do feel deep down he was decent but the fact that he preached all this and his actions have been the total opposite. My heart always says that guru sahib wouldn't play around with laavan, I'm sure we were made fo each other but I just don't know what happened. can I ever believe in the power of laavan or ardas again if this marriage ends? I know I sound like a bad Sikh but these r my thoughts right now
  3. I know some nihangs who drink alcohol. they just slowly sip around 40 ml of alcohol before sleeping and they get up at 1 am for doing simran. these nihangs hv fear of sangat of fellow nihangs and they never over drink. All the problems mentioned in ur post are of manmukh Sikhs over drinking alcohol. they abuse alcohol.
  4. Today
  5. If all sikhs avoided alcohol (I’m including anyone who claims to be sikh) then there would be a huge reduction in problems that happen in this community right now. Divorce rate would go down as so many couples split based on the male drinking too much which effects a relationship. Sikhs wouldnt be as into going to clubs. Less interfaith relationships. Premarital relationships would be more PG. Everyone’s health would also be better. There is a huge alcohol problem amongst sikhs which really needs to be changed. I don’t see how it can change now though.
  6. Wow! This is absolutely terrible! None of it makes sense. The coward should atleast give you a proper explanation. Are you sure he doesn't already have someone on the side? What kind of people are the family, religious? And the friends who were there? Who the hell videos this situation? Where did he go when you posted the flowers? It seems to me that the inlaws know the truth as to what was going on but felt bad themselves. However it could be that like you said, they made him get married, it wasn’t something he wanted. I feel very bad for you. I’ve heard two stories like this before, one the guy already had a Caucasian girlfriend on the side, and this poor wife had moved from UK to Canada to find out. The other he one similar was where the man was actually gay. This sort of stuff doesn’t just happen for no reason, no one in their right mind would get married, and ruin their own life and another persons unless it was a reason that was very big to them. I don’t think he’s going to change his mind or come back if I’m honest. It doesn’t sound like he was inlove with you in the first place and I’m so sorry to have that opinion. Anxiety is difficult, but it doesn’t make you treat people like this. Also have to think about the cause of the anxiety/depression. Sounds like he is hiding something. Was he ever romantic or all over you? If not, then he’s gay and they all know.
  7. The author (Guru Sahib) is going katha of the Charitar. Guru Sahib isn't literally saying to get a green cup, neither is Guru Sahib talking to Saki. I will look into the Fatehnama, but the example you have given seems to be from the mangal/sirlekh, not the actual text. Sirlekhs can be interpolated.
  8. Interesting question actually, according to Sikhi will you reincarnate in to something else on another planet if something devastating happened to Earth or is it Game Over?
  9. Thats really sad. The kid is innocent. The grandparents should have relationship with kid and try to raise him in Sikhi. Know many cases where this happens, where one parent is absent and grown up resenting, rebellious.
  10. Really interesting. Thanks for sharing... Gandhi was a creepy guy to say the least
  11. yes and in the end of the charitar, the author mentions that He needs green cup. even at the start of fatehnama there is mention of shaheedi degh.
  12. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QE4R4nskjHo
  13. wat about hikaytan? It clearly mentions green cup(shaheedi degh). if i am not wrong, it mentions alcohol too.
  14. Sanatanis and their wrong arths if Sri Dasam Granth. These people are doing beadbi of Guru Sahib with their wrong arths. First of all, Krishnaavtaar is katha. It is not meant as a spiritual guide. In that story, Bhrigu Rishi was against alcohol because of the 'Kach' incident. But in this case, after the Yudh, the wine given to Krishan was from Brahma. This has nothing to do with it being allowed or not, but it is just a point Guru Gobind Singh Ji added to that story, as it is a Katha. Frankly, I believe we should boycott these Sanatanis just like we boycott Missionaries. They do the same wrong arths, but arrive at different conclusions.
  15. I had read that gandhi had called Guru Gobind Singh ji a "misguided patriot" but i thought it was false, but professor Puran Singh mentions it in his article and he was a contemporary of gandhi, gandhi really was a egoistical little man who believed he was on a divine mission and that his way was the only way. Anyway really beautiful article.
  16. GURU GOBIND SINGH JI : BY PROF. PURAN SINGH Author/Source: Prof. Puran Singh Ji SAHIB-E-KAMAAL This article is a poetic meditation on the ‘Rider of the Blue Steed,’ the Tenth Guru. The special feature of Puran Singh’s articulation is that it is a free intermix of the conceptual and emotional, distinguished from the cerebral hermeneutic of the West. Guru Gobind Singh emerges from the dimension in which an unusual integrity of the antahkaran (mind, soul, conscience, heart,and understanding) begins to envision everything in real and symbolic terms, simultaneously. On a cautionary note, one shall not commit a literalistic fallacy that occurs due to one’s being naïve about the symbolic and phenomenological operations of the mind. The punctuations and spellings have been amended to reflect the contemporary parlance; NO word is added or omitted. The original rendition of the article is not known; this version is adapted from a journal titled Puran Singh Studies, Vol. 1-2, Jan-Apr 1981, Panjabi University, Patiala.] Guru Gobind Singh Ji They of India have not understood Him. Gandhi calls him a "misguided patriot." Men of this world, who wish to comprehend Truth by their own intellectual measures, are forever incapable of understanding the true nature of Inspiration, which is the life-breath of the really great. Whenever they approach such inscrutable personalities, they make but grotesque estimates. After centuries of intellectual advancement, they stand still exactly on the same spot, utterly incapable. In one age to them, Joan of Arc is but a witch and the end of the intellectual justice is to case her in fire. Today the ghost of non-violence is let loose and Guru Gobind Singh is a "misguided patriot." Christ says, "Judge not." Because we are not omniscient nor seers of all the three times – past, present, and future – it is impossible for us to judge truly even common fellowmen like ourselves, in spite of an intimate contact and even identity of our natures and motives. Much more difficult becomes our forming opinions about beings who have in their inner nature, transcended our plane of existence. The intellectuals who are great, who are famous these days, at best, are but synthetic personalities, the mere laboratory products of the systems of the schools of man-made, mind-born Ethics, and are but toy replicas of the great, whose conduct is spontaneous, whose character is the radiation of the sun. They are the products of those mysterious cosmic processes, which make the sun and the moon. For the dead toy replicas of the great it becomes physically impossible to analyze the inner motives of the beings of immortal inspiration. All opinions expressed by such lower men about those who live, move and have their being in acceptance of the cosmic inspiration, are as false as the opinion of the clergy who declared Joan of Arc a witch and sentenced her to be burnt alive. Sword is the symbol of the creative processes of that mysterious incomprehensible Creator-Complex of nature. Nature is not Creation they say, it is spontaneous evolution they say; it is not Being they say, it is Eternal Becoming they say; it is not spiritual they say, it is material and mechanical they say; it is all electrical substance they say; it is not soul they say; but only the insane doubt now that it is a complex. No one view can define it accurately. Guru Gobind Singh sees the flash of the sword in this dark mystery complex. He sings his "Song of Sword" and by its cadence transmutes the miserable wretched people of Punjab, not into temporal kings, a miracle, which even an ordinary worldly man of empire carving ambitions like Sivaji, could perform in transmuting his mercenary soldiers into Peshwas, but into Phula Singh Akalis. Cut these disciples of Guru Gobind Singh as they did cut Bhai Mani Singh, instead of blood, the nectar of inspiration flows from their veins. The name of the Eternal resounds in their bones and as they of the world sawed them asunder, only that glorious cadence (Sat Nam) was in response to the axe strokes. His disciples rose all of a sudden from nowhere, as Superman, who were, as the same time, like the clouds of the sky, raining as they were bidden to rain, and striking down like the bolt of heaven as they were bidden. Not protest but obedience was their creed. Their protest was one with the protest of the Divine Creator complex, called Hukam by Guru Nanak in Japji, and it shone in the Image of Sword seen by Guru Gobind Singh. The Khalsa came ready made from Him … that blue-wearing Superman, armed from head to foot wholly dedicated, ready to die – the historian says, as Minerva from Jupiter – a highly explosive personality, showering both nectar and thunder, as the merest tool of the Cosmic Complex. In human history there is no example of such transcendent inspiration, unless we go and see the personalities imbued with the Bushido spirit of Japan, as transmuted by the spirit of the great Tathagata. I have often said that Guru Gobind Singh created a spiritual Japan in the Punjab out of His spirit and he can be sympathetically understood only by the Bushido spirit of Japan as informed of Buddhism. Riding His Blue Horse, clad in the robe of the whole starry Heaven, and followed by His Five Horsemen, he goes riding by the doors of His lowly disciples still and as the horses strike the rocks, the sleeping ones awaken still and sing: O King of Purple eternity, who loves us, Who comes and lies with us at, Night unknown to us, Comforting us in our distress, O Weaver of the Crest Jewel of all-Godliness, all-Humanity, Come and meet us the peasants of the Punjab. O Glorious Guru Gobind Singh! Come ride through our hearts, Come ride through our eyes. Guru Gobind Singh is the Indweller of Souls. He is the vision that vitalizes the decaying the finite centers of life with the touch of the Infinite. Name Him and you are transported. Name Him and you ride very death to His Door. Woe be for the day, who, surrendering their soul to the false brilliance of any intellect, the disciples of the Glorious Guru would turn their back on Him – once before in history, they did so. The disciples left Him at Anandpur. But they found no place to go to. Wives denied their husbands, mothers their sons, sisters their brothers – for the Punjabi Sikh woman truly saw there is no life but with Him. What is the world without Him? So they died. So they lived. Said Khan the Moghul General doubted. All have intellects, not only the modern subtle-minded Hindu. Guru Gobind Singh came riding His Horse to him in his camp. Sayeed Khan leveled his gun at Him. It missed the Guru. He was asked to try again. Said Khan put his head on the Guru’s feet. He was informed. The camp lay where it was. The armies of the Moghul still besieged Anandpur. But Sayeed Khan went up to the hills singing Him, as a maiden, falling in love with her man, renounces all and sink into the depths of life. But the Guru does not show Himself to those who have not entered the shrine of Acceptance, who have not understood Reverence, who have no wonder in their eyes, and who love not the spiritual Beauty, which transmutes man into angels in an instant. Perfection is in His Glance. There is no standard in the East or in the West by which these intellectuals can form an idea of the inspiration of the Infinite. It was a stream that flowed to Him, which He received within Himself. "I was," said he, "Reluctant to come here on this earth. But I came." My soul is still engulfed in that current of Inspiration-Infinite. He came and he went. Only the trail of his garment, still shines, the sound of the hoofs of His steed is still audible. Wrapped in that shining garment, listening to that sound, we go daily where He is. This is the religion of His Disciples. Our eyes are red with the glory that He has shed on our paths. And we go on. His sword waves the lightning flashes in the cloud-filled sky, but it rains after the centuries of oppressing heat. "Man is the Temple, Let this flame burn within there, As the Lamp of the Eternal, They are my Khalsa, In whose hearts burns this Inspiration Of the Infinite, day and night. The story undimmed, He is the pure." (Prof. Puran Singh)
  17. He has severe anxiety, a sort of depression and his family didn't tell us, maybe they didn't acknowledge the seriousness of it and thought marriage would fix it. So after getting married his anxiety increased, I feel like people pressured him with the notion of honeymoon period and didn't acknowledge that we had an arrange marriage. I tried my hardest, I even threw all my English clothes away and wore what they brought me, I used to wear a suit on the weekend to avoid any stress on the weekends, I tried to support my husband with his anxiety and even persuaded him to get medication for it. My husband didn't come home for a week, wouldn't answer mt calls or msgs and when he returned with a group of his father's friends, who I hardly knew, announced that we can't be happy together and disappeared in his room. The so called friends began shouting at me, laughing at me and accusing me. They rang my parents before coming but my parents didn't know the seriousness of the situation and said that they don't want to interfere and my hubby needs to go home n discuss whats ever the matter is with me. One of man's wife began recording a video of me crying. I begged to be able to speak to my husband and my MIL and FIL who claimed that I was their daughter felt nothing towards me and sat there watching. The so called friend offered to drop me back home to my parents and I refused. They rang my parents and that man was very intimidating. When my parents and brothers arrived they were furious at how I'd been treated like a toy- when their son wanted me they were all dancing around me but now that he doesn't want me I'm not even being allowed to have a say. So basically they kicked me out with the single pair of clothes I had on, I took my work bag and managed to get hold of my passport/documents..... I remember sitting there broken and the ladies were giggling and chatting about shopping and their pets. I cried to my MIL that my life is falling apart and all these people can do is talk about their dog and all my MIL had to say to them was go chat in the other room. I still remember that day clearly, I came back from work and spoke to everyone. They all seemed weird. I asked if they heard anything from my hubby and they claimed they hadn't. The night before I had posted some flowers to my hubby and a note that I really miss and love him. All the family were aware of what was going on but kept me in the dark. They so called friends claimed I has requested a breakup to my hubby but I don't understand if I had why would I sit there crying to my MIL FIL Saying how much I wish my hubby would come home or why would I msg/ring him or even sit around waiting. I just don't understand how everything turned so horrible
  18. You don’t need to be sorry I missed what actually happened and the reason for your breakup, but I doubt you need to feel disgusting. Can you write a letter to him and get all your feelings out? Will that help give you some form of closure? Are you in England? It’s probably harder right now due to the lockdown. Once everything opens up and you can do whatever it is you would normally do to keep your mind busy hopefully you will feel a lot better.
  19. Its difficult to become humble as these great sants of the past It's so easy to get wound up and start arguing with someone, its so hard not to react when someone says something to you and just stand there and ignore it. While these sants were so humble and took whatever people called them. I'v lost count the number of times i'v had a row with people in public over silly little things! its a egoistical thing isn't, standing there quite just feels like defeat, which is just your ego basically. It's like the story of a sant trying to save a scorpion that was drowning in the river and every time he went in to save the scorpion it would sting his hand and he would let go, and then he went in to save it again and it stung him again, and then he did it again.
  20. alcohol is mentioned twice in Krishna avatar Dasam Granth Ji. https://www.manglacharan.com/post/guru-gobind-singh-on-alcohol-krishnavtar https://www.manglacharan.com/post/krishna-s-presents-alcohol-sri-dasam-guru-granth-sahib
  21. Bhagat Puran Singh - My Mother painting of Bhagat Puran Singh with Piara Singh - "the garland around my neck" My Mother An article by Bagat Puran Singh While studying in Khanna, Punjab, India once I went to meet my mother in Lahore (now in Pakistan). At this time she was working in Sir Ganga Ram Hospital. When I reached there, my mother only thought was that she should take me to pay obeisance at the Shiv Mandir (Hindu temple) of the locality and Gurdwara Dera Sahib. At this time I was a Hindu boy named Ramjidas. I was a follower of Shiv Mandir and was not a Sikh. In the Shiv Mandir I saw no personal service being done. There was no devotional singing in praise of deity, no place for the travellers to stay, no free kitchen, and hardly anyone came to pay obeisance. There was a priest sitting quietly in a small house. No religious book was being read. Gurdwara Dera Sahib is one of the most important pilgrimage center of the Sikhs. When I reached Gurdwara Dera Sahib I was surprised to see the gaiety and environment of that place. In the early morning Asa di War was recited and in the evening Rehras. Every morning and evening many people would come to listen to the Words of the Gurus. This Gurdwara is situated on the G T Road running from Peshawar to Calcutta. Devotees kept coming throughout the day. Many travellers would also come to take food from the common kitchen (Langar) or to pay obeisance at the Gurdwara. The common kitchen opened at about 10 or 11 o'clock and remained open at night also. Every night 25-30 travellers would come to the Gurdwara to stay; they were all served food from the common kitchen. This culture of the Gurdwaras deeply affected me. My Mother's instructions From my childhood, my mother had asked me to do personal service to all the creations of God. This tender and distinct feelings of virtuous tasks was ingrained in my mind. My mother had taught me to provide water for the animals, plant trees and water newly planted saplings, offer feed to the sparrows, crows and mynahs, pick up thorns from the paths, and remove the stones from cart tracks. This had embedded the Name of the Almighty in my heart. She had entrusted me to the custody of Gurdwara Dera Sahib and started me on a path of virtuous living; by following this path your mind can never waver. For five years she did not spend anything on herself. She would send her entire monthly earning of Rs.10 (which converts to 25 cents or 12.5 pence) to me each month. The servants in the house sometimes have to eat stale or left-over chapattis; my mother used to eat whatever was given to her. She also used to get old and used clothes from the house where she was working, so she would save her entire income of ten rupees and send it all to me by money order. Memory of my hard working Mother While at home in the month of Kartrik, my mother used to get up early in the morning and go for a bath at the village pond. This pond was constructed by my father. Thereafter, she would recite Japji Sahib, churn the curds, then prepare the breakfast. Throughout the day she would sit at her spinning wheel or gin the cotton seeds. A mother, who would draw water from the village well throughout the day during summer months for the travellers and the animals; never sit idle; always keep the Name of the Almighty in her heart; recite Japji Sahib in the morning; had to put in my heart fear and respect for God. God has really blessed me that till today I have been able to keep my vow taken before my mother of remaining a bachelor with full purity of heart. If I were not to fulfil my vow it would have been a matter of great dishonour for my life. Curse of God would have remained over me always. I am thankful to God that the vow taken before my mother is always in my mind and keeps me alert. It keeps me engrossed in His name throughout the day. It keeps reminding me some of the most of the virtuous Sikhs like:- Akali Kaur Singh Nihang, Sant Kishan Singh, Sant Attar Singh Mastooana, Sant Harbhajan Singh Raj of Bani Amrit Parchar Sangat. It keeps me busy in various tasks of service and devotion and urges me to pray, "Oh God! Keep alive my Cripple" who has a mind like that of a child. His childlike antics keep me happy. His activities and my care for him keeps me in contact with God and makes me pray that I should continue to look after the Cripple, keep him healthy and happy. Watching his antics also helps me in leading a happy and contended life. To do all this I should keep my life pious and virtuous and should not allow even a single evil thought to enter my mind.
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