Koi

To be honest, it's a needle in a haystack. I've been searching for ages with no luck thus far. For some it works on Gurdwara lists, for some on matrimonial/dating sites and for others thet just get introduced. There's no "one-way". The sites you use will also depend on your location, as some sites are location specific. However, I've found that whatever route you use, you more and less run in to the same issues: caste (jatt majority, even amongst Amritdharis), meat and drink, the fact that a lot of girls don't want someone with a turban and beard, and the fact that there are a lot of girls who are still put off by Amritdhari Singhs. There's no site I wouldn't recommend, as you can find anyone anywhere these days. But as a start, Shaadi.com is a good place to begin. Best of luck ??

Because during the time of the British, the teas (not all) used to have tobacco in them. The relationship between various sampardas and "drugs" is a colourful one, but perhaps saved for another thread...

Drugs/alcohol or anything else for that matter can never be used as an excuse to rape. Period. In terms of karam, I have a little anecdote: I once went to see my Vidiya Guru (Santhiya Ustaad) at his residence, as he was very unwell (he was around 90 years old at the time). For majority of his life all he did was teach Santhiya. He was lying in bed, but face smiling and Chardi Kalaa. I said to him "Baba Ji, aa ki hoyaa?". He said "Koina, Karamaa di khed hai." Me, being young and foolish at the time asked, "Tussi eho jehaa ki karam keetaa?". To which he smilingly replied "Koi karam keetaa huo". From this I saw practically that everything is indeed all about karam. But that doesn't mean we turn a blind eye to the pain of others. We should always show compassion and help where it's warranted. And always ask for his grace, not the reward of karam??

Not necessarily, and this is always something you can talk about if it bothers you. Private life should indeed remain private, but each to their own. Definitely talk to this girl and see if you can come to some compromise. All the best ??.

As long as none of your maternal or paternal surnames match, there's nothing wrong with this in the strictest sense from a Sikhi perspective. This issue however, is more about how your parents perceive the relationship they have with the people of the pind. And yes, traditionally speaking, all people of the same pind are considered to be siblings. That's why you'll meet some people who's surname is the same name as the pind or place they're from (Johal, Baidwan, Doabia etc.). But ultimately, as with all issues, it depends how far you (and your friend) are willing to take this to make it work. And yes, it may unfortunately mean cutting ties with your parents. Some might say that is wrong, while others will say it's unfair for your parents to force you in to this situation. Like most things in life, it's not black or white. It's understanding the situation the best you can, making the decision you feel is right, and being prepared to live with the consequences of your decision. Best of luck ??

Fair point. But sure bhaji, you agree that gay marriage is not acceptable in Sikhi?

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Bump! Does anyone here know anyone local to this brother to help him out?

Keep us updated bro on your search. Hopefully this is your year??

Something about that Sousan Pattah doesn't seem right to me. It looks more like a French Bayonet blade. Can you confirm that blade is original?

Nope.

Read Parcheen Panth Parkash by Rattan Singh Bhangu. It's a real eye opener.

They can do. It really depends person to person, family to family

To the Original Poster. You've seen all the various views of everyone. As you can see, this type of situation can polarise the sangat in terms of their views. And at the end of the day, you just gotta go with whats right for you and make it work. Let us know how you get on bro. All the best ??

Bro, there are loads of treatments out there. Depending on which country your from, there are also hair clinics. But the first thing I suggest is you vist your doctor, and see what they say .

Why am I not surprised??. I'm all for interfaith discussions. But nothing deceitful. I'm just disappointed that @MuslimNeighbournever answered my questions, or accepted my challenge?. Oh well...

On a more broader level, it's important to understand that mistakes can happen at any time. What makes a difference is the persons ability to admit the mistake, apologise and make it right, ensure they never do it again, and your ability to forgive. Even though I'm not married (which is probably why I can afford to spend a lot of time on this forum ?!) I've had many people talk to me about their relationship and marital issues. And after a while, you do notice a pattern, especially with the issue you've highlighted. Firstly it's important not to sweat the small stuff. Listening to music etc., as long as she's loyal to you and not messing you around, then that's cool. As far as her past is concerned, you need to draw a line, for her and for yourself. As long as her past stays in the past, then all good. However, if she's still talking to her ex or other guys, then that's where you need to speak out. No compromise. Hope this helps bro??

Encouragement is indeed important, and force is never good. That I completely agree. However, you would never encourage a Sikh to cut their hair if they didn't feel like keeping it. Would you "encourage" a Muslim to drink alcohol, listen to music, eat pork, and convert to another religion if he so felt like it? No one in their right mind would. I'm not saying that you've said this, however, it's important not to come across as being "okay" with it. Hope this helps??

what she did before you met her is her past. It's not something you can or should judge her for. We all have ups and downs in life, and make plenty of mistakes along the way, but that's life. I'd hate for someone to judge me on a mistake I made before I'd even met them. I'm not saying it's easy or black and white, but as long as her past is in the past i.e. she's not talking to this guy or other guys, then you can begin to put that to rest. As far as other things go, listening to music or whatever, these things can be discussed and worked out. These are very small things and nothing to get anxious over. A song is just a song. If you cut out all the Punjabi songs that had references to Jatt in them, you wouldn't have much of a Punjabi music industry left. But the most important thing is that you can 100% get through this. Trust me, you can do it. Talk to your wife without getting emotional. Have a good long think about what you want to say, and then talk it out. None if what you've said is grounds for even considering divorce! You got this??

Easy there big man. Sometimes people don't necessarily know how to help. Instead of poking holes, why not give suggestions?

This, definitely this

Mate, I'm in the same boat in the UK, and I'm 33. It is indeed hard, and i sympathise with you greatly. And I do share your apprehensions about India. I know friends who found luck searching online (Shaadi.com etc.). I guess it's just about casting a wide net. Maybe we can enlist the help of the cyber sangat? If you maybe put a bit more about yourself and what you're looking for, maybe someone on here can help. @ADMIN - not sure if this has been suggested before, but maybe add a matrimonial sectionsein the very long time I've been a part of this forum, I've seen it go from strength to strength. Maybe it's time to branch out in to new territory, as there's definitely a demand for it. Just a thought...

The answer to this is actually going to be subject to interpretation and various opinions. Physical intimacy is indeed a very sacred and private thing between husband and wife, and should be treated as such. Firstly, there should be no kurehit. The intimacy should (obviously) be between husband and wife only. No other people. (Sorry, I know this is an obvious point, but this is probably the most important point). Next, keep it to the privacy of the bedroom. If you get caught outside, you get arrested. Now, in terms of the intimacy itself, do not do anything that would hurt the other. Or more precisely, do not go beyond the threshold of pain (goes for both involved). Communication is extremely important here. Be very open about what you want. And finally, the point about things being "demeaning and uncomfortable". To be totally honest, this will depend person to person. And contrary to popular belief, a lot if guys struggle with this too. Again, this will come down to communication. If they want, they should research. And by that, I don't mean watch gandh (as per the previous post). There is plenty of legitimate research material out there backed by science to aid them in this part of their life. The problem we face is we are too "Victorian", too conservative about this topic. So when someone does actually question us, we end up behaving like brahmchari sadhus who don't have a clue. Then our kids go off to experiment themselves, and come back pregnant with a sack full of STDs. Just to add a small point, yes, over indulgence is not good. It's fine in the beginning of a marriage, but like all other aspects of a marriage, it will balance out with time. And finally, I'm glad to see you and your daughter can actually have the conversation.

Nope, just a song ?

Of course the various levels of compassion are subjective, and of course Gurbani is the highest judge, no question. But that's not what's being questioned here. To a compassionate individual who sees so much bad in the world especially to completely innocent people, the concept of God having a divine plan for all is simply not enough. Various mahapursh have spoken on the suffering of individuals to explain why they are suffering in this life. However, again, for a normal individual who sees innocent people suffering, who has no knowledge of the previous lifetimes, "God's divine plan" is simply not enough. That does not, however, invalidate or lower their compassion in any way. Their understanding for the reasons of suffering does not invalidate the compassion they have have to alleviate the suffering. Hope that makes sense ??