AmarjitKaur

youth these days don't contribute much at house helping parents, rest of the family members and then they feel unwanted. The problem is with you. You have to be contributing, even if its doing dishes with the mom or gardening or moping or vacuum cleaning the house. I know way too many people who don't feel wanted in family but at the same time, they want to be served even a glass of water by mom or sister. I can easily tell from your wording that you are a young man who basically does not move a thing in a house. Too many youngesters and many adult men (as even if they are parents of bunch of kids or grandparent), they think houshold chores are only job of ladies of the house and feel ashamed to do dishes and then complain they feel unwanted. Very simple solution. Mak yourself useful to yourself and to others. Food appears on your plate everyday for 3-4 times a day. There is someone in the house who does do lot of work to make that food move from grocery store to your mouth. WHO are THOSE people?? ever think being part of that team who does make it all possible. Too many times we remember that Gurbani says to meditate on GOD, but we forget Guru Nanak Dev ji's first principle. There is reason why he put it first before others. Kirat karni Naam Japna Vand chhukna. Follow it in that order. Don't skipp the first one and then expect connection to GOD or happiness in life. It won't come.

when you smell a flower and wonder where the fragrance came from, the party responsible is GOD. when you eat grapes or any fruit you like and wonder where the taste came from, the party responsible is GOD. When you look at the flower blossoming and wonder how that happens, the party responsible is GOD I can go on and on, but basically when things go beyond your understanding (even if they are tears in your eyes), the party responsible is GOD. I read somewhere long time ago, that if you can just figure out how a flower unfolds, then there is no more to learn in this life time.

For a second reading only upto your 2nd paragraph, I was like "whattttttttttttt?? liquour licence??" But I got soon sigh of releif finding that you did reailize that its not Gurmat to sell something which is forbidden in SIKHI. I know you understand, but just wanted to give my opinion. Bhenji, Mahraj ji nu ardas kariya karo ke tuhanu es profession vichon bahar kadh laiN. The way out probably would be to find some better paying job based on your education and let your parents hire somebody to run the business until they realize it too that its not good to earn their bread selling something which Guruji went so against. If you are not ready for job yet, (still attending school etc.) then take even more courses to keep yourself so busy that they have to find some help. Where there is a will, there is a way. Someone related to me, amritdhari, use to help at the gas station where they sell liquor/cigeretts etc. soon after, he got shot in left hand. It took me years to understand that why this incident happened. He still didn't understand, I told him last time I met him. takleef taa jaroor hoyee, huN vee hand is patially disabled, but babaji ne againt Gurmat jaan ton bacha liya. And i try to avoid even stepping on the used cigretts on the roads, streets everywhere. I thank God for making it rain to wash off this whole mess everywhere to leave room for sikhs to walk on.

Bhenji, There are 2 things I can suggest. 1. don't worry about where it gets posted as long as its not getting used in a negative way. Gurbani lines are being used everywhere. Guru Sahib has not stopped anyone from using Gurbani. So why should you? But you should be watchful if people try to twist what you are trying to say and misuse in the ways you didn't intend to. 2. If you don't have time to or don't want to be monitoring whats happending to your articles then at the end of the article you put some newly made up email address for just this purpose so that people can take your permission to use your articles. my 2 cents. Make a decision after you hear other sangat members' suggestions.

well, bhenji, as much as I have learned from life and listening to kathas so far, all I can tell u is that what we go through all gets tied to our previous karmas. As we can't really control our previous karma, so we have to reap. Who knows what you did to your father in previous life for which he is being your punisher right now. Only GOD knows. I can't comment on that. But we can do something about not creating bad karma for future. Gurbani does just that. By connected to naam, by reciting bani, doing simran, doing moolmanar, doing seva etc. we not only wash away our previous bad karma but we also create good karma for future. Even though some incidents/sufferings are giong to happen still, but how much we feel the pain from it, get reduced to so much less. So Gurbani does have multiple advantages. Bhenji, simple answer to your all problems is Pick up Gutka Sahib and do 2 Chaupai Sahibs right now and continue later with more. I will do 2 for you in next hour or so. pain won't go right away, but eventually it will keep on reducing. Please do Trust the father I am talking about. HE is actually a healer, the vaid, the cure for all your problems.

There was another thought going on my mind. I thought I should put it here. I have been think that in our life experiences there are millions of locked doors to some treasures. as we get connected to ourselves,get to know more about the world or ourselvs more or the whole drama of life more, we keep getting the koonji (key) to open up the doors. one by one we see doors opening, but there are countless more to open up yet. so let them keep opening for you. you just keep on walking without being distracted by some negative forces on the way. You will keep feeling that there is beautiful garden of life out there to whom you can give so much and take so much from.

Bhenji, Even though I can't 100% understand your situation as I have been graced enough by babaji not to ever go through this kind of trauma. neither I have daughters that I would feel worried about anybody treating them badly. But yes, I do know that GURBANI is the biggest healer out there. You try anything in the world, but GURBANI would come out to be the real savior. srb rog kw AauKdu nwmu ] sarab rog kaa aoukhadh naam || The Naam is the panacea, the remedy to cure all ills. Gurbani would help you raise above this situation, whether its mental only (I amnot saying it is) or it is real threat to you or to your daughter. Gurbani would help other person (the abuser, unfortunately your own blood, your dad, who is supposed to be the protector of the daughters) to mend his ways. After all its lust that he couldn't get handle on even after taking amrit and possibly doing his nitnem. You confronting him may protect you and your daughter, but it won't protect other daughters of some other parents that he may be coming in contact with. He may or may not have suceceeded to get physically involved with anyone, but the lust of the mind is there to get him low enough. So even though councelor may help along with Gurbani recitation, but if you feel hesitant about counselor idea then please do take refuge in Gurbani. I have gone through very mild depression myself. Babaji blessed me with one full Sahej Path which lot of it I did crying. Living in full house, nobody probably noticed that I cried many times reciting bani. I cried in my car closed, loudly. I remember the days. I have cried at nights. My situation was different though (can't put here). I have done ardas to babaji. Babaji, please take me out of this situation, I wanna live life happily and I dont' wanna read bani crying, I want to keep attached to you, but these thoughts don't let me (well, most of my problems were creation of my own mind, fueled by some situations that I let get out of my hands). all in all, I am out of the situation and all the credit goes to entirely babaji. The sahej path blessed me enough to take amrit, to finally get hold on my situations that now those things dont' bother me. Bhenji, Nanak dukhia sabh sansar. Ethe har koi dukhi aa. koi virla labhooga jo eh kaih sakda ke mainu koi problem nahi, physical or mental or financial or social. har koi kise na kise tareeke dee bimari da mareez aa. rarely we approach to the right doctor. Even when we know who the doctor is, still we spend time talking about our dukh and trying other things people suggest. but rarely we leave things on that one big VAID, GURU sahib. mera vaid Guru Gobinda duniya bhar dee koi takleef nahi jihda ilaaz Guru sahib Kol nahi hai. the problem is with us. We do have faith but not enough. rarely we say that Guru sahib tuhade te chhudiya. tuhade aa.n, bure aa, bhale aa.n, par tuhade bachche aa.n. Please help us get better and be good enough not to just get entangled in our own situations, but rise above enough to help others to get out of their situations. ijin krqY krxw kIAw icMqw iB krxI qwh ] jin karathai karanaa keeaa chi(n)thaa bh karanee thaah || The Creator who created the creation, takes care of it as well. so krqw icMqw kry ijin aupwieAw jgu ] so karathaa chi(n)thaa karae jin oupaaeiaa jag || He, the Creator who formed the world, cares for it. and myrw bYdu gurU goivMdw ] maeraa baidh guroo govi(n)dhaa || My physician is the Guru, the Lord of the Universe. hir hir nwmu AauKDu muiK dyvY kwtY jm kI PMDw ]1] rhwau ] har har naam aoukhadhh mukh dhaevai kaattai jam kee fa(n)dhhaa ||1|| rehaao || He places the medicine of the Naam into my mouth, and cuts away the noose of Death. ||1||Pause|| smrQ purK pUrn ibDwqy Awpy krxYhwrw ] samarathh purakh pooran bidhhaathae aapae karanaihaaraa || He is the all-powerful, Perfect Lord, the Architect of Destiny; He Himself is the Doer of deeds. Apunw dwsu hir Awip aubwirAw nwnk nwm ADwrw ]2]6]34] apunaa dhaas har aap oubaariaa naanak naam adhhaaraa ||2||6||34|| The Lord Himself saves His slave; Nanak takes the Support of the Naam. ||2||6||34|| I know tusi Gurbani da aasra liya hoiya. But please do trust vaheguru jee on this one as well. he is the healer and the one who can make other person mend his ways too. He works his ways so surprisingly/amazingly that kise da kujh vee nahi vigRda te situation vee under control ho jaandee aa. So have a faith please. and do your motherly and household duties as always while keeping that kartar, the vaid, the one and only one father of all in mind.

Bhenji, just to tell you little bit about my activities these days. I have been listening to some audio which talks about some encounters with snakes. And I am kind of person, if hear or talk about or see snake pictures, I start getting scary dreams about them where I run for my life in dream if I see one. Last time I had a dream about snake, I got bitten by it, but didn't die in dream. I had never been bitten before either, but was just running from it. Last night I had dream again. Its like small pet snake. someone brought in my home (could have been my kids, who in real life, actually wanna bring snake as pet and they get big NO NO from mommy :-)) So anyways, snake is moving around in the house. My husband tries to lock it in some box or room. But its so thin, little one that it sneaks around. And finally I (me, who is so afraid of snakes), said that I will take it back to store or something. So I try to catch it in my hands and am moving towards garage in my hands trying to hold it from close to its mouth. And I can remember from dream that its moving its tongue over my hand and fingers. and it gets out of my hands and circles around me and bit me 2-3 times on my back or so. And i am not screaming or running and I just let it bite me and somehow in my semi-conscious mind I am saying that its just a dream. I think I was half in dream and half still able to realize that its just a dream and plus this snake is a pet snake and won't be poisonous. So I am not screaming or running or worrying about it. Usually I remember my dreams best in the morning and forget afterwards. Thats why writing it before I forget. So in the morning, I kept thinking why I got this dream. there are 2 reasons I think. One especially the audio book I am listening to which talked about encounters with snakes (its biography of Sant Harnam Singh Rampur Khere vale, where Sant Sevak singh jee talks about different situations where people had encounters with snakes and upon Suggestion of Sant jee about reading bani, how people got out of that situation). Secondly, I read your post last night at about 9:30pm and wrote you above post but couldn't stop thinking about your situation. So went to sleep with your situation on mind. So I see snake as a fear of your mind. Its not that it really is going to bite you, I think its more like a fear of your mind only. I don't think you need to be afraid of your father. There are 2 reasons I think it that way. First without knowing your father in reality, but knowing most of other fathers and grandfathers, I am assuming that he can't be so low of a man who would keep an eye on his grand daughter. Even if he has looked at her like that, doesn't mean he is going to do anything. I think based on what you went through when young, you are not able to think of your father more than that same person you encountered may be about 20-30 years ago. It may not have been same look, you just took it like that. Anyways, without judging your situation, without knowing the facts. There are 2 ways to handle your situation. One believe in Gurbani 100% and become officially dhan dhan Guru Gobind Singh's daughter (take amrit and encourage your husband too. you can take amrit alone as you might know, but then you can't have husband-wife relationship with your spouse anymore if he is not amritdhari. Panj Piyare would ask you to promise to follow on that and most likely you will fail to keep your promise, thats why its important to have spouse be ready for it as well). Jehnu baba jee dee protection ho gayee, Gurbani te full vishvaas ho giya, uhnu snakes, bad-eye fathers or people on the street or whosoever else tries to scare or damage, they can't do anything. all these scares of mind or of reality become harmless. Now the second way to treat it is to go talk to physicologist. All you need is few sessions of talking. looking at the situation you are in, I am assuming that you are not able to talk to your husband about it. you probably discuss with your sister now, but no one else. Sometimes, to get over our fears, we need to let them out in constructive way, where someone listens to us and can tell how to deal with situation if its real or if its our mind's fear only. Eventually, physicologist may suggest to bring your father along, which won't be mandatory but optional. I know in past, I suggested to forgive your father and deal with him. But depending upon your current situation, I would suggest you to take break from dealing with your father. If possible, share with your husband (but that all depends what kind of relationship your husband has with your dad or how open minded he is to understand the situation to help you get through it but not aggravate it somehow, very cautious approach needed). My suggestion about physicologist, also would need you to tell your husband what kind of appointments you are having. so in one way or other you would have to tell him. But this is very tricky situation as your husband may start hating your father especially based on your own daughter's protection. If you couldn't come to deciding about second option, because of delicacy of the situation. and couldn't act on first on because your husband not agreeing yet. then do this. get back to your nitnem as you were doing before. additionally, start atleast 5 (if possible 25) chaupai sahib daily for 40 days. Do ardas in the beginning what you doing it for and everyday in your rehras sahib ardas time, apne chaupai sahib bani dee as well and mention that baba jee sachkhand de vich paRi suni bani sodh ke sweekar karnee. Don't worry. Babaji will take your fears away if they are your mind's fears only or they are real. Bani te, guru sahib te bharosa rakho. bani paRani nahi chhudnee, even if your mind is somewhere else for most of the time. don't get discouraged. Act like a spider who fails 99 times to get up on his web,but keeps trying. We humans can only try, kirpa babaji dee rehmat naal hee hundee aa. Thats why guru nanak dev jee said in the beginning. GURPARSAD. kuchh galat likhiya giya hove, please forgive me as I am just a human like you who do go through zindgee de utra chaRa at times. my boat is in waters as well, but how big the waves are and how much I feel them could be different at different times.

Bhenji, Thanks for coming back here and writing about the progress you and your family had made throughout since you wrote last. Secondly, Please please do pick up Gutka sahib and atleast, minimum do 5 Chaupai sahibs a day (only that much will inspire you to do your rest of the nitnem) while thinking about Dhan Dhan Guru Gobind Singh jee. Think about HIM being your father, standing their with his hand on your head and saying "Come, my daughter I will take your pain away". And as far as dealing with your father goes. IGNORE HIM. Don't wish him any bad. But assume like he doesn't exist for you until you got handle on your mental situation. Bhenji, being sikhs, we are supposed to be dayavan (forgiving and wishing for good of others). So do the same for your father. DON't deal with him, if you could do in your situation. But do pray for him from GOD, that babaji tuhade father nu summat bakhshan. Babaji tusi sabh kala samrath ho. main nimani te kujh karan jogi nahi aa. please tusin ang sang sahai hovo. mera maaN vee tusi, mera taaN vee tusi. Meree Oat vee tusi, mera aasra vee tusi. mere tusi hee father o. Dhan dhan Guru Gobind Singh jee nu father mann lavo, fer babaji janaN, te una da kamm jaNe. Tusi vicho hut jaao. Sometimes, we tend to forget our commitment for Nitnem (towards our soul) when we need it most. So please don't.

That will be very easy to figure out jee. Sit down. Start timer. start reciting moolmantars. do mool mantars only as much as to cover the time as it took you to do one japuji sahib. now divide swa lakh moolmantars with that many mool mantars.there you go, that many Japuji sahibs. lets say you do one japuji sahib in 15 mins. and you do 50 moolmantars in 15 mins. so it will be about 2500 japuji sahibs. so u do 25 japuji sahib a day and you will be done in 100 days. about swa 3 maheene. u can send check to any Golak at any gurughar for paying for my mathematics formula providing services :-))

someone mentioned about this thing recently to me that especially doing ardas, the dirty thoughts come in mind e.g. thinking about our body waste etc. Well, to rid off that, my advice was to whenever that happens, think that Guru Amardaas jee said again and again that we are vista de keeRe, we think no more than that. once you realize that your thought process should change and start thinking about Guru Amardaas jee and your mind will get busy thinking about Dhan Dhan Guru Amardaas jee and start from First Guru sahib to 10th and then lastly say Dhan Dhan Guru Granth sahib jee. your mind is going to get entagled in saying Guru's names in order that it would forget about other thoughts. Buliya man da kee samajhauNa edharo putNa te edhar lauNa

Exactly. And why do I see topics almost every week about not feeling comfortable with their body hair on this forum from the mouth of my own sikh brothers and sisters. Problem is within us guys/gals. Discuss that. fix that. Dont' go worrying about what you see on TV. Worry about yourself, your sikhi, your family members sikhi and about your coming generations sikhi. You can't invest in them, if you don't invest in yourself now. Time is not later, not after you finished school or got married or have kids or got job or got old. TIME is NOW. I read this while ago on somebody's facebook status page. "The biggest hope to the panth is looking back at you right now in your mirror". So take care of that. (BTW, its message to all, not only to the poster above or OP).

so considering above in mind. 90% of the so-called-born sikhs (who are monay) don't qualify to consider 10 Gurus (and now as all that jot in Sri Guru Granth Sahib jee) as their GURU. Disciple need to be following Guru and 90% of us don't, the so-called-sikhs, let alone the hindus.

as far as I have understood so far (which is really very little), the meaning differs if there is aunkaR or not, there is sihari or not. the example is word Sukh(u) with "o" sound under the "kh" or no "o" sound. So with "o" sound, sukh means the one sukh (happiness) that you get from bhagati of Guru/God but if it is without "o" sound, it means duniya de sukh, worldly happiness. so means to say, that "o" sound is implied for word in singular form, but without "o" sound its for plural form. Others who have understood Gurbani better, please correct if I am wrong, or even if I am partially wrong as I don't want to mislead someone and it could give me opportunity to correct myself as well.

But you also need to know how to interpret Guru's hukam. Its human tendency to interpret the hukam the way your mind wants to choose to interpret.

vaise I don't understand this thing with finding a kuri, wanting to be with kuri, being attractive to a kuri etc. etc. why is it that one would change just to get a kuri?? WHY???? Guru is more important or a Kuri?? If Guru agrees with your this thing with Kuri, that you have to have it, he would have a line of kuriyan for you. But father knows what his kid needs, so thats what he gives the son. Trust that father. Dont bring your desires, wishes, crazes for kuri or whatever in between. The father, The GOD , the Guru knows what you need and would give you when right time comes. Just have a faith.

I agree with what GuptKuri and sukhjeevan singh had said. I am amazed to see such an understanding and love for sikhi you both have at such a young age. I am saying this as I felt this love and teeny tiny wisdom at mid 30's. So you guys already are 15-20years advance than me with GURU's grace (don't want your egos bumped up, so it is Guru's kirpa). now to the guy who doesnt feel like he should be bothered by taking few hair off here and there. Even though I might not agree with everything OSHO said, but I liked one example he gives. He said God's love is like a rain. It falls equally to all. Some of us have our utensils upside up and are able to contain the rain, and some of us, have them down and don't contain at all, and some of us have them leaking here and there (majority falls in this last one) and whatever we contain we keep loosing. So at the end, in 20 years from now, we would not have reached anywhere still. all you would see yourself in 20 years, that you would still be struggling with same questions you have now. You will have kids, but won't be able to answer them why they should go to Gurudwara, or keep their hair or respect Guru Sahib and all other related questions they would have. When you learn or understand about something and follow it, you are not only investing in yourself, you are investing in your coming generations, your siblings, your friends, your relatives, your would-be-students and the strangers who stop you and ask you a simple question "why you keep hair?" You can think it as just few hair, but it doesn't take a whole lot for all the rain contained in your untensil to leak out having only a tiny leak. Remember they say, if one drop can eventually lead to a sea, one tiny leak can eventually empty out the sea. let me know if it completely went over your head.

Its time to watch some SIKHISM related movies now. watch those, may be you would get answers. May be they would push you to think how to fill the rest of the half glass, rather than asking why glass is half full.

BeI prwpiq mwnuK dyhurIAw ] bhee paraapath maanukh dhaehureeaa || This human body has been given to you. goibMd imlx kI ieh qyrI brIAw ] gobi(n)dh milan kee eih thaeree bareeaa || This is your chance to meet the Lord of the Universe. Avir kwj qyrY ikqY n kwm ] avar kaaj thaerai kithai n kaam || Nothing else will work. imlu swDsMgiq Bju kyvl nwm ]1] mil saadhhasa(n)gath bhaj kaeval naam ||1|| Join the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy; vibrate and meditate on the Jewel of the Naam. ||1|| -SGGSji, ang 12. Also part of our evening nitnem Rehras sahib right before Chaupai Sahib starts. Bani of dhan dhan Guru Arjan dev jee.

I would see it more like a drop and ocean relationship. drop merges with water and then on God's order possibly becomes droplet in the cloud and showers back again on the earth. some droplets do become part of the mud sometimes and would eventually dry off and evaporate or become nice clean water and flow back to sea in the form of creeks, river etc.

Time never stays same. Bad comes and goes. Similarly good times come and go too. Right now, I am going through some (little bit) bad time as well. And I know it won't stay either as good times didn't stay. so sometimes its just a matter of time. wait it out and in meantime don't do anything bad. To stop happening anything bad, occupy yourself with some good things in your life. examples are recite certain number of one bani or multiple banis. Dedicate to listen to katha of certain bani you always wanted to understand the meaning of what you read as nitnem or additional bani you always wanted to know the meaning of. take on some sewa at gurughar or some school or hospital or some other place where you could make some +ve difference in somebody's life or community or organization. or just get extra hours of working at your work place. or start reading some big book which will take few days to finish. Always can help family members to finish some project at home or clean some area of the house.

We are no body to decide when we come to this earth and nobody to decide when we go from here. There are many ways that you can make yourself useful to the society, to y our family to yourself. You seem to be putting question after question on different topics. Its good to be curious and finding out answers. But how about some action at the same time. Volunteer at your local Gurughar for some sewa. There is tons of stuff to do at Gurughars. examples in kitchen are Preparing Langar, mopping the floor, cleaning/organizing the kitchen. doing dishes. Dishes never stop coming to cleaning from morning till all sangat is gone. Cleaning/organizing the langar floor. Volunteering to be the leader to have sangat do simran for 5 mins. before they start eating. Serving food to the sangat, then picking up plates and picking any residue from the floor. In Deewan hall, doing the sewa of Chaur to Guru Sahib (if you wear washed clothes to Gurughar) Organizing the side rooms where they put all supporting supplies they need in deewan hall. Helping with any khalsa school activities. doing shoes cleaning and organizing sewa. Cleaning bathrooms sewa. There is tons more I can write about sewa in Gurughar or in some hopital or ins ome school or in some shelter for homeless and poor etc. etc. But lets start from Gurudwara first, where you will get to listen to Gurbani as well. You won't be firing question after question, once you get under the spell of sewa. not that I don't want you to find these answers, but the reality is that you wont' have questions anymore. you will find answers yourself in your activity and in your own mind. Vehla mann shaitan da ghar. Free mind is the devil's workshop.Thats the case with you right now. So get busy, do good to yourself and to society at the same time.

Disgusting.

My situation is no different than what you are asking. I just explained you what happened in reality and got married to a guy with full beard (khulli, not even tied) and full kesh on head as well. The guy who asked me before engagement if I would like to see him with cut hair one day and to whom I answered "you won't look good without hair". A lion wouldn't be a lion without its mane. Would it?? He asked me to cut my hair before we got serious about sikhi (after marriage), but I never asked him to do so. To All the boys and girls with any kind of body hair questions, When you ask this question on a forum like this or anywhere else, all it shows (what you think is your issue), is that it shows your low self-confidence. Its not others who can question your identity. Its you, yourself, questioning your own identity. It just shows how serious you take your guru's word. How committed you could be to your Guru and for the matter of fact, to anybody in your life. Just imagine you without hair (there are tons to show you as an example). Can they say they are committed to Guru?? No way. You loose your hair, you loose the first gift Guru said to keep in tact. One bujjar kurehit. YOu amritdhari or not, doesn't matter. You are not getting Guru dee khushi. Guru da sikh hove, te apne God given body nu change karn nu firda hove. How is that possible? You just interfered with vassel that God gave you to reside in temporarily. And manmukh thought s/he could mess up with it. Your first sign of manmukhta. Don't ever consider yourself Gurmukh. YOu cann't be, if you deny to listen to father outright and do it every week or everyday. I am girl with facial hair. My husband didn't divorce me yet (and I didn't divorce him either earlier nor plan to do later either). My kids didnt stop saying mommy to me. My parents still consider me their daughter. My employers are still keeping me as their employee. I still have friends (got lot more new ones after giving head to Guru). I walk with full pride. Anyone ever stares, laughs off just becaue I have facial hair, I think about dhan dhan Guru gobind singh jee (Bahane naal Guru sahib nu yaad kar lainee aa, bhala hove stare/laugh karan vaale da). I don't need anyone else watching for me more than HIM. And its has been 2.5years moving around with hair. No, I am not going offtopic. I am trying to answer three topics here under one topic (1) this topic, 2). 15year old boy in NY asking similar question 3) Girls who wanted to ask Sant Jagjit Singh jee about having laser therapy to remove hair before Amrit (SICKening, whom are you trying to fool?, Dhan Dhan Guru Gobind Singh jee?? You are better without Amrit, wait until next lifetime until you get strong enough with your identity). To come to your question. If a girl ever questions your hair, the girl who doesn't see a person who would be committed to her as much as he is committed to his Guru, That girl doesn't deserve you. You are too good for her. Move on. The right girl will show up one day (at the end you need only one anyways, rest of them come along to have some learning lesson hidden through meeting them). The lesser the better it is to keep your insanity.I am not blaming girls here to loose your insanity, but this whole boy girl thing is just not worth it. There are better things to do in life at your age than worrying about girls liking you. You will get much more satisfaction from life if you devote your time at some community hospital taking care of some patients, or teaching punjabi/sikh history to some kids at your local Gurughar than spending a time with girl for dinner or at movies. Explore life above looking attractive to girls. Think about happiness of Our Gurus rather than looking attractive to girls or boys or whoever you are trying to please. Weight out the options. Who is more important to you?? Your Guru or the other gender? who is gonna stick with you longer? who is the giver of all you got in your life?? who can solve all your problems if you just can have faith in you?? Always weigh out the options before you give into your mind's temptations. And LOVE yourself the way GOD made you. Do not temper with your body in anyway.

OK. You are keeping your full hair. You don't do any of the bujjar kurehts. You hopefully take shower every morning, may be not at 5am, but you do. You probably have atleast 2 K's. Whats missing then?? Daily nitnem and 3 more K's. How hard that is anyways?? If we can spend years and years in universities to make ourselves suitable to get job. Why one should not fulfill the thirst for getting Guru's happiness? A university certificate gives you qualification to get job and be certain for questionable time that you will be employed. Certificate from Guru's university gives you this: sqgur kI syvw Aiq suKwlI jo ieCy so Plu pwey ] sathagur kee saevaa ath sukhaalee jo eishhae so fal paaeae || Serving the True Guru brings a deep and profound peace, and one's desires are fulfilled. So why aim for less. And in no way, I would ever suggest cutting hair. If you are destined, sooner or later you will be made capable of fulfilling the thirst of your soul. crn srin gur eyk pYfw jwie cl charan saran gur eaek paiddaa jaae chala siq gur koit pYfw Awgy hoie lyq hY ] sath gur kott paiddaa aagae hoe laeth hai ||