MisterrSingh

You want to love her from afar? Well, that's upto you I suppose. I think you need to de-Bollywood-ise your mentality. All that effort you're spending pining for someone could be channeled towards something that benefits your life. Plus you say she's fat. C'mon fella, you must know the old saying, "No Fat Chicks"? Are you chubby, too? Do you go for second helpings when the giani's doing Karah Prashaad di seva? You sound like you're soft around the edges. Don't be a Ranjha. There's no honour in such things. It's folk-lore. Successful people who will take Sikhi to great heights in this modern era aren't sitting around fantasising about fat Singhnis. You need to do everything in your power to make your Guru proud, not succumb to the same bakwaas and pitfalls that everyone else has. What's the point of being a Sikh if you're going to be like everyone else? Wake up.

What are Sikhs doing in Germany that would warrant that kind of attention by the Indians? I wonder if that bomb blast at the German Gurdwara has anything to do with this?

To OP: Yes to all that.

Yet they still do it, don't they? It's like falling in love: it happens when you stop looking, lol. If you're always on the prowl, you're going to end up meeting some frauds (in both cases). Overall, I was being kind of tongue-in-cheek, similar to the short-tempered baba who hasn't got the patience for the shenanigans of youth. But the core of my arguments still stand. If the OP knows the Singhni has a certain way that she's determined to live her life, then why is he so determined to distract her? We criticise bibiya when they end up disgracing their families, the Gursikh pehraava, etc., but it takes two to tango. Yes, she could say no, but females - especially young ones - aren't known for their fully developed sense of putting the stops on self-destructive behaviour. Why put obstacles in the path of a promising young Sikh who would otherwise be comfortably on the path of spirituality? When the time and age for marriage arrives, then fair play to her, but this ishqi-mushqi whilst parading your external Sikh credentials is a prime example of why Guru Sahib said his Khalsa will, one day, be in name only. Some of these young Singhs are taking the pi55 at times.

Darn it, how did my cover get blown? Yes, I admit, I am not MisterrSingh. I am MrrsSinghni.

Taking responsibility for one's actions is the fundamental step towards correcting that behaviour. Sounds like you're absolving this guy of responsibility for things he has absolute control over. I'm all for knocking the dodgy babeh down a peg or two, but in this case, I don't see a Pakhandi baba telling him to go weasle his way into the life of an unsuspecting Singhni. That's all on him. I understand about hormones and the pitfalls of youth, but what annoys me is this laughable facade "Gursikh" youngsters present to the world - and each other - in order to explain away or justify their actions. They sit in judgement of others they deem to be displaying un-Sikh attributes, but have they looked closer to home?

You WANT something to happen, though, don't you? In a moment of weakness, you want her to shed whatever principles or rules you say she lives by, and that's the type of situation you'll take advantage of for your benefit. You've gone from, "I want to tell her how I feel despite her not being receptive to that kind of behaviour," to "I don't wish to act on these feelings, but I might... if she's up for it." Would you still "love her for who she is and her actions, not her appearance" if she weighed 300Ibs and stank of stale sweat and p'shaab? No? Then you're in lust. Drop the pious act. If you had your way - and she gave you the word - you'd do unthinkable things to her, and you know you would. I swear, if she was my sister or my niece, I'd sort you out good and proper. Too many opportunistic, young pakhandi Singhs sniffing around on the off-chance some loose-moralled Singhni decides she wants a sly slap and tickle. Then, when the deed has been done - those with a trace of conscience - will come to this site and start a topic asking the sangat if they should go to pesh! Cheeky friggers.

You have your answer. I don't think there's anything more to say. Unless... you want people on this forum to convince you to pursue her, or you're hoping she compromises her beliefs and rules for you. In that case, are you sure that's the kind of girl you want to be with? And doesn't SHE deserve better than someone who is, in effect, a sordid temptation pulling her away from the path she's embarked upon? Rein in your lust and behave yourself for the sake of the Singhni, and yourself.

Sikhs in the West have lost the plot when it comes to naming their children. They don't have a clue. I stopped caring a while ago. When the chickens come home to roost in the next few decades, then we'll see the outcome of these apparently "harmless" social and cultural norms our oh-so sophisticated and integrated cohorts have allowed to slip into normality. Just sit back and enjoy the mess. I know I will.

And that, I believe, is due to the confidence and teachings imparted to us by our Gurus. Of course, there's social and cultural issues that come into play as well, but it's a brilliant observation that holds water.

The sense of "shame" of marrying out of the Sikh religion (for some people who consider such things as relevant) is an insurmountable barrier. I guarantee you, particularly in the diaspora, if Sikhs openly and readily marrying Hindus was a cultural norm, the scenario you posited in bold above would be incredibly common. Some of our lot would rather their offspring marry out of the faith to someone comparatively higher-up on the social ladder, than marry anyone of perceived lower status in the same religion. Why do you suppose our lot beam with joy when their son brings home a white girl? It's a sign of upwards mobility. We are truly a befuddled people, lol, and things are set to get much, much worse as time goes by.

Some call it a sixth sense, lol. I had the same feelings when I saw her picture, too. It's always in the eyes. You can tell so much from the eyes.

Dependent on where they were looking and the relevant age they required for the girl, they'd already been snapped up I suppose. The crux of the issue I was trying to highlight was that the apparently concrete criteria the potential boy had to meet that the mother was specifying (a white-collar professional in a prestigious industry) was thrown out of the window when they received a rishta whereby the guy was, to all intents and purposes, a millionaire, or at least set to inherit his father's considerable assets. His lack of education and qualifications, or his coarse, unrefined personality wasn't considered to be an issue, due to him having an abundance of income at his disposal. So, therefore, the true requirement / condition for a potential match the mother was stating was proven to be a lie. What she should've said was, "I want someone who is filthy rich." The "highly educated / white-collar professional in an elite industry" criteria was proven to be a smokescreen.

Oh, is that what "cut surd" means! I thought they were struggling to pronounce "custard" for some reason. It makes sense now.

Very true. Quick true story: Sikh girl hits 30, still isn't married. She practically decrepit by Punjabi standards. Admittedly, she's qualified in a prestigious field (medicine or legal, I can't recall), and the family want someone of comparable status. Girl's mother regales anyone that she encounters that she (the mother) won't settle for any Jatt munda because they just aren't educated enough these days. They spend years looking for the ideal Punjabi boy, but no luck, whilst constantly espousing the, "My daughter is too educated / She needs a similar status partner," mantra to all and sundry. A few years later, girl gets married, but remarkably it's to a Sikh guy that barely escaped secondary school with a handful of GCSE's. He's a coarse, what-you-see-is-what-you-get type. The girl's mother seems overjoyed. Oh, by the way, the guy's dad is a multi-millionaire, and his only son (and only child) is set to inherit it all eventually. Now that's sanjog.

A backhanded compliment if I ever saw one, i.e. "When we're young and carefree and in a position to choose, we want the guy of our dreams; the clean-shaven man that modern society deems to be ideal. But when things go south, then we'll settle for the second choice; the safe, religious type."

Playing devil's advocate, why is it racist? Why would you send your people unwittingly into an area where there's a high chance they could become victims of crime? I wonder where Mr. Sharma lives now, because I can pretty much guess it's not in the type of areas he's defending.

I've come across many instances similar to this one, whereby a "lifelong friend" has turned and ended up killing his chum, and it makes you wonder on what basis these friendships are built. There has to be some warning sign that the person considered to be almost a brother, has some darkness or undesirable qualities inside of them that would lead them to something like this. Another observation I've made is how our people (especially those from back home) have developed almost a certain sense of gullibility that simply wasn't there in previous generations. They have these huge blind-spots for certain people or individuals close to them. Either they don't see the truth staring at them in the face, or they're in denial about the potential danger to them. It's the classic Punjabi mentality of "chal ho" ("oh well / it'll do") that is proving to be a growing problem for us. Once you start applying that mentality to your everyday life, in terms of the people closest to you, sooner or later you will end up in the gravitational field of an undesirable person who does not have your best interests at heart.

Ah, I thought they were just randomly reporting Sikh news. If they knew the guy personally, then I guess that's no problem, I think.

I'm no legal expert, but couldn't what's being printed by 'Sikh Youth Birmingham' and 'Sikh Youth Derby' on Facebook be considered to be ill advised, especially if there's a trial later on? Or does it not count due to the murder occurring overseas?

Jeez.

Just because something can't be comprehended or explained, that doesn't mean it's falsified in any way. I'm all for casting a critical eye over issues, but we're talking about something that essentially boils down to faith. If you're looking for logic in faith, that kind of defeats the whole purpose of religion. I'm not saying we must swallow a bunch of hogwash to be true believers "just because," but in the case of Baba Deep Singh Ji (and other similar instances in Sikh theology where unexplainable events have occurred) you either buy it or you don't. Claiming that those who do believe in those types of miraculous occurrences have been brainwashed or hoodwinked is a cheap shot. If you're looking for reason and logic, then perhaps religion isn't the best outlet for your efforts.

Lol, ask the hordes of ex-Muslims who've deserted Islam the same question, yaar. There's bare videos of them on YouTube.

Yes, the connections between Janner and Vaz were being highlighted in a couple of other British news sources today. Maybe if someone in the Commons got off their backside, got the police involved, maybe Vaz would sing and spill some names if put under pressure?

I think he's been stitched up, in terms of someone knew he got up to this kind of stuff, and they wanted to expose him. Which high-profile UK individual has been grilled by the HAS committee that would go this far? The fact that the Mirror went with the story (a left-leaning tabloid) is quite strange, too.