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  1. Guest

    I've made a mistake

    I've made a mistake, I am 17 years old and I cut my beard for the first time, I'm instantly regretting it and I am now questioning what made me do it. I don't want to do it again but am afraid people will consider me a fool for cutting then keeping again straight away. Many relatives and friends used to push me to cut and used to say one day I they think I will cut. I have made my mind up that I will keep it again and never again dishonor my kesh. How do I do so without looking foolish.
  2. Just wanted to know what the best way to tie joora for a stable and secure fitting was
  3. Hi SikhSangat forum users. I am a y/o male who has just started keeping kesh about 10 months ago. My hair has gotten quite long but not long enough to do a joora on the top of my head, and as result I don’t think I can tie a gutti. What would be the best style of dastaar to tie? I am torn apart on whether to tie a Dumalla, keski or a simple gol parna. I can also provide more info. Thanks.
  4. Guest

    Kesh Problems

    WJKK WJKF I have only reached the age of 34 and I have hardly any kesh left at the top my head. Its getting so bad, it looks like I'm deliberating shaving or something. I've tried every remedy such as castor oil, sesame oil, giving my kesh air, caffeine shampoos etc. Besides the back of my head I have hardly anything left, is this normal? I'm the oldest Keshdhari Singh in my family so have no one to ask or use as a reference. The other older males in my family are monay but all bold so it might be hereditary? TBH no body really knows what's happening under a dastaar but I have never know of bold Singhs?
  5. I would like to know different views on women and covering their head after taking amrit. I’ve read in gurbani to cover your head when preparing food and eating. A 5 k is kesh. I think akj see kesh as dastar regardless of male or female while eg nanaksar see it as keeping your hair uncut. I guess I am asking, is a dastar compulsory for a amritdhari female or is a chunni ok, or is nothing okay day to day and is it only required at certain times? I have a lot of female family members who only wear a chunni to gurdwara and nothing otherwise, yet they have taken amrit. They don’t wear a kirpan either. When I say I would want to fully wear a kirpan and dastar if I am ever lucky enough to take amrit, they think I’m extreme and over the top. I also wouldn’t wear makeup and jewellery but they all do. So I wonder am I the one who is assuming this is required which is making me delay amrit for longer as I’m not ready to wear a dastar and completely make those changes (I need my ego to lessen) or am I the one misunderstanding and is it okay to do what they do and therefore I am delaying it when I could do it sooner.
  6. Now that m working from home since a couple of months due to covid, I guess I lazed myself into letting my beard and mustaches grow . I think it's been a month since I trimmed them. I am interested in keeping uncut facial hair and hope to walk on marg of sikhi better but the problem is my mustaches keep coming in between whenever I try to eat. Beard is not much of a problem but still gravy part sometimes fall into it. And I noticed trimmed facial hair is much easier to manage than uncut one. Now my mustaches almost curl on top of my upper lip and every time I eat I have to reset them by brisking them with my fingers. Edit : I know I can use "fixo" as traditionally used, but still I don't want that face that's even hard to smile because of stiffness that fixo brings with it. Is there anyway to set mustaches sideways
  7. I got extremely curly hair that is hard to keep un tangled and un knotted. Any one got any tips for keeping curly kesh under control between washes?
  8. Guest

    Starting Again

    This has started off last year when I first started having the thoughts of cutting my hair. I let them slide and I was too busy to address them at the moment. But, now sitting in quarantine, I got to stop and think about where I'm going. i'm only 16 and I realize that I have a lot ahead of me and I shouldn't make any sensitive decisions right now. However, it's been getting worse where every morning I wake up with the same thoughts in my mind. I've been trying to push them away, may Waheguru Ji help me do so, but they don't stop. I have kept my hair since the day I was born and my family is fully amrit dhari. They say that when you take one step towards Guru Ji he takes a thousand steps towards you. I've decided to start again and rediscover Sikhi, not in the way my parents forced it upon me, but the way I should've done it before. In this hope that these thoughts will slide away and I won't end up cutting my Kesh. So, I tell you all this to help me, tell me where to begin again and tell me the best way to do it. Please forgive me if I have offended anyone or anything in any way, I'm still lost and trying to find my way. Thank you.
  9. As a Sikh we all should pay attention inside of us, but also our outside roop. Why? Well am sure the society does not want to see a turbaned man with beard in a disarray and no lips! Only stache falling over. For the beard it's simple if done this; Apply oil twice a month before ishnaan. Be sure to wash beard with soap at least twice a week. If not oil washing it with soap is essential! It's like, imagine not washing your hair with shampoo! Same principles. Older generations tend to tie their beards up. BUT YOU DON'T? WORRY NOT! You still need to make sure the beard (side burns to be precise) is neatly coming down and not curled upwards/ sticking outer direction. How to do this? Carry an extra Kanga around. Every once in a while be sure to take it out and comb the sides a few times. At home, work - wherever you are. YOU WILL GET INTO THE HABIT. NOW the moustache need to be on the sides, sitting above the lips. REALLY above so your lips show. THIS CAN BE ACHIEVED WITHOUT GEL, just like the beard, but it may take a while. Get a small cotton cloth. About 1.5" (inch) in width and longer in length. Before sleeping oil your moustache and use palm of hands to rub them to the side for a good few minutes. Add VERY little water and rub again keeping it upwards. Now get the cloth, start from around moustache and take both ends of cloth up your head, tie a knot. Not too light it needs to be firm so keep it just tight. Make sure your moustache's not being seen! The cloth needs to cover it fully, whilst your stache is kept flat back on your upper lips. This is keeping your stache in place for a good six hours or so. Next morning b4 Nitnem and after ishnaan, do the same for an extra 45 - 60 mins. THIS MUST BE DONE FREQUENTLY! It's a permanent thing as not doing it Moustache will start going below lips again. FINALLY... Like combing yer beard, it's important to use the palm of your hands to brush your Moustache back; left left side and right for right side, whether you're at home, work or Gurudwara, after every hour or two for a few seconds.
  10. Guest


    Waheguru Jee Kaa Khalsa Waheguru Jee Kee Fateh. I have received a potential arranged marriage rishta from India. The guy is currently living in New Zealand. We have been talking through whatsapp through the blessings of a Saint. My only issue is that he hasn't seen me in person yet so he doesn't know how much facial hairs I have. I've taken amrit so although I fell off rehat, the Gurus have blessed me to come back to the full sikhi saroop, which means I've been keeping those chin hairs. It's taking time for me to become fully secured within myself and embracing those hairs as part of my new normal. As a woman, I'm a bit insecure about how this guy is going to see me when we finally meet in person. He already said yes, but I always gave him vague answers regarding my decisions. I told him about the facial hairs, but I didn't get into the length of it especially about the chin hairs because my mom told me not to talk about those things. So, yesterday, I decided to show him my blog in which I wrote a post titled "Hair: a small surrender." Obviously, the blog is so long and filled with other posts, so I don't think he has read that particular post yet. Anyway, my dilemma is: how do I approach this topic without making it seem as if it's a big deal? How do I clear my insecurity regarding this? Plus, another thing is that he hasn't taken amrit yet. If he took amrit, then I wouldn't have worried about it. A saint told me that the guy is a bhagat and a gursikh. Even though he hasn't taken amrit, the sant kind of implied that he is similar to an amritdhari person. In that case, I feel as if he is going to take amrit in the future. As many amritdharis would know, nobody can rush these kinds of things. Nobody can rush anybody into taking amrit. So, I'm very patient and careful about what I say regarding these matters. Also, on another note, personally, I wouldn't have talked to any guy from another country, but the Sant's own beautiful voice was enough to convince me to talk to the Nz guy. Hence, I started talking to him. Now I'm in this position. What can I do? I've been delaying the process on my end, while he is all set to marry. So, I'm now here requesting for the Gurmukhs' opinions regarding all this. I really want Waheguru to clear all my doubts and insecurity before I give my final answer.
  11. Guest

    Knee injury pulling hair

    I feel and scraped the skin of my leg with the kesh being scraped aswell with full bleeding with the skin being scrapped, after when applying band and etc and doing first aid I felt many many kesh around my leg where the wound is getting scraped etc, will I have to pesh etc the first aid guy put tape over to make sure the band aid doesn't come of, but when I slowly tried pulling of the first aid tape I most likely accidentally broke kesh.
  12. Guest

    Need Advice ?

    I recently got back into Sikhi roughly 5-6 months ago. My mom was really happy and started telling people about it as a parent should. I recently felt a disconnect I don't know what happened but after waking up one day. I didn't feel like keeping my kesh. I never had a gutti, Turban, or kesh at all. I used to be mona for 24 yrs and only recently started to keep my kesh for 5 months. I feel like cutting my kesh in a couple of months because I feel this disconnect of not wanting to keep it long. Maybe its cause I have always been a mona and I'm most comfortable like that. I still believe in Sikhi and the values taught by our Guru Ji's but I just don't want to keep my kesh. I'm still going to hold off 2-3 months more then decided if im ready to keep and maintain my kesh or not. I have never been a good Sikhi but I always try to do better in the world and try to better my self. Is it really that bad if I don't want to keep my kesh? I already know family & cousins are going to say stuff saying or look he kept his kesh for 6 months then gave up which is a given. Everyone always wants to have a say in everything. At the end of the day, I don't feel ready yet at all to keep my kesh due to stuff like drinking and smoking which is disrespectful if I'm wearing a turban. I still have to work on my self to reach a point where I'm ready. Any Advice on how to break this news to my mom and not hurt her feelings. I still really want to read on Sikhi and learn my paath it's not like I want to abandon Sikhi.
  13. I’ve recently been thinking a lot about Kesh and our society (Sikh) viewpoint on it. I came to realise that when a man dons the dastaar and trims, wears modern clothing, drinks, smokes, etc, it is regarded as “normal”. However, the weight of responsibility to present the best “Sikhi” role model is shoved and expected of females whenever they choose to don a dastaar. There have been many young Sikni Youtubers with Dastaars that have been massively shamed for wearing jeans etc. Why the double standards? Why is it that the Sikh community has become so obsessed with constricting our sisters whilst our brothers get to do whatever they want. This is deterring our sisters from actually exploring Sikhi. This cut-throat, “do it this way or don’t try at all” approach is turning youth away from Sikhi. Why have we lost patience and seek to encourage rather than put down our own Sikhs? In a bid to be fanatics, or to simply be “right”, we are putting off the youth from Sikhi. What are your thoughts?
  14. What do you guys do to take care of your Kesh (other than wash it lol). Do you use oils like coconut oil? What else?
  15. I was sitting with folded legs, I strained my hamstring and it pulled a kesh it really hurted, I then did it with the other legs and as soon as I felt pain that kesh is being pulled I stopped straining, with out even touching my kesh broke and do I have to pesh?
  16. Guest

    beard hair

    when ever i try to comb my dara or bursh it i feel alot of kesh breakage which hurts, i try to apply oil everyday, when i comb and brush alot of kesh break ps my dara is very curly and im still 18, any helps from the older singhs on this forum on how to maintain a wild curly beard and limit the amount of breakage which feels awful.
  17. Guest


    The dentist was giving my teeth a clean, I suppose all dentists are rough thus the dentist pulled my kesh while working on my teeth, will I have to pesh? And should I visit the dentist on future reference because I know they might end up pulling my kesh
  18. Is it for remaining pure? It seems arbitrary that God would want us to keep it for the sake of letting everything grow? What is the advantage in that, literally? I thought that hair had vitamins in but there is no research for this?
  19. Guest

    Hair kesh pulling in fights

    Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki feteh, I am sure most of you have seen the horrific clips of Singhs being beaten and pulled around by thier hair. It is inevitable that in any full on street fight dastars come off. I know some will disagree however having tide a dhammala my entire life and been in a number of fights I know this is the likely outcome. This leaves the Singh very vunreble as it is extremely difficult to protect yourself when pulled around by long hair, let alone see. The aim of this post is to share my method. I use 2 large clips ( can use more depending on the size of your kesh) which having done my juraah I use to clip my kesh in place. This prevents my long kesh unwrapping and firmly keeps it all together if my dastar comes off in a grapple. I hope you find it useful and have added some photos to illustrate.
  20. I was watching this video by BasicsofSikhi where Jagraj Singh was arguing that Sikh parents should make their children keep their Kesh until they reach the age of majority, then they should be allowed whether to keep their kesh or not. My question is.........What about in cases where Mona parents suddenly decided to become Amritdhari and their underage children who (despite being minors) are still preteens or adolescents who still choose to cut their hair. Should these ex-Mona but now Amritdhari parents follow the late Jagraj Singh's advice in the video and make their mona children grow their Kesh despite the resistance they might face?
  21. Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh. Sangat Ji I’m going through a very weird situation right now with my Guru Ghar, I’ve been taking an interest in a lot of Bani as of late so I’ve been doing my own Khoj of it. I’ve listened to Katha, read Teekas and also did my own interpretations of it (all in line with Gurmat as I take nearly all of it from Taksal). Our Guru Ghar is very nice and the atmosphere is good as well, the people are very friendly too. So I wanted to start doing Katha of the Bani I had learned and the arths of it. Currently there is already a Gursikh doing Katha of another bani but he will most likely need to go do Kaatha elsewhere, so I offered up my services to the Guru Ghar as I was really excited to do something worthwhile. I can talk about Bani all day and I would love the opportunity, I asked the head of the committee about it and he refused to let me, I asked why and he explained it to as thus. He said that since I shave my beard (which is true, I do but I would like to add I used to shave it once a week but now I do it nearly every 2 months and im slowly letting it grow and will keep it soon) it projects a bad image and that the sangat would start attacking the Guru Ghar over allowing someone like me to do Katha, which I find really startling as they allow moni to do Kirtan within Guru Ghar and I have seen many moni brothers doing some sort of katha (history wise) before, he cited Mika Singh who did a shabad at a Smagam and how the Sangat got angry at him over it. I did some googling and found the man was involved in all sorts of weird stuff (kissing, groping etc) and I see why the Sangat was upset, but the head was using this as a means of saying that the sangat don’t want people who shave or don’t have kesh to do anything like katha. I feel really discouraged by this as I was really keen and excited about it, I get his logic but I wanted to ask if the Sangat here agreed with it. I get im not the ideal person but I just want to share what I have learnt.
  22. I have questions about washing kesh. As I am starting to practice for amrit, kesh ishnaan is a must. Now I don't know about you but I really hate tying my dumalla on wet hair. It feels uncomfortable. Is it possible to keep my kesh open while reading the bania in amritvella?
  23. For some sikhi is not dependant on kesh , however the truth is Guru Nanak has done parchaar on this subject , a few reminders
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